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"Oh, Tom! How could I fear to die after he was taken away from me so cruelly! How could I! How could I be such a coward!"
She lamented aloud her love of life, that life without grace or charm, and almost without decency, but of an exalted faithfulness of purpose, even unto murder. And, as often happens in the lament of poor humanity, rich in suffering but indigent in words, the truth-the very cry of truth-was found in a worn and artificial shape picked up somewhere among the phrases of sham sentiment.
"How could I be so afraid of death! Tom, I tried. But I am afraid. I tried to do away with myself. And I couldn't. Am I hard? I suppose the cup of horrors was not full enough for such as me. Then when you came... . "
She paused. Then in a gust of confidence and grat.i.tude, "I will live all my days for you, Tom!" she sobbed out.
"Go over into the other corner of the carriage, away from the platform,"
said Ossipon solicitously. She let her saviour settle her comfortably, and he watched the coming on of another crisis of weeping, still more violent than the first. He watched the symptoms with a sort of medical air, as if counting seconds. He heard the guard's whistle at last. An involuntary contraction of the upper lip bared his teeth with all the aspect of savage resolution as he felt the train beginning to move. Mrs Verloc heard and felt nothing, and Ossipon, her saviour, stood still. He felt the train roll quicker, rumbling heavily to the sound of the woman's loud sobs, and then crossing the carriage in two long strides he opened the door deliberately, and leaped out.
He had leaped out at the very end of the platform; and such was his determination in sticking to his desperate plan that he managed by a sort of miracle, performed almost in the air, to slam to the door of the carriage. Only then did he find himself rolling head over heels like a shot rabbit. He was bruised, shaken, pale as death, and out of breath when he got up. But he was calm, and perfectly able to meet the excited crowd of railway men who had gathered round him in a moment. He explained, in gentle and convincing tones, that his wife had started at a moment's notice for Brittany to her dying mother; that, of course, she was greatly up-set, and he considerably concerned at her state; that he was trying to cheer her up, and had absolutely failed to notice at first that the train was moving out. To the general exclamation, "Why didn't you go on to Southampton, then, sir?" he objected the inexperience of a young sister-in-law left alone in the house with three small children, and her alarm at his absence, the telegraph offices being closed. He had acted on impulse. "But I don't think I'll ever try that again," he concluded; smiled all round; distributed some small change, and marched without a limp out of the station.
Outside, Comrade Ossipon, flush of safe banknotes as never before in his life, refused the offer of a cab.
"I can walk," he said, with a little friendly laugh to the civil driver.
He could walk. He walked. He crossed the bridge. Later on the towers of the Abbey saw in their ma.s.sive immobility the yellow bush of his hair pa.s.sing under the lamps. The lights of Victoria saw him too, and Sloane Square, and the railings of the park. And Comrade Ossipon once more found himself on a bridge. The river, a sinister marvel of still shadows and flowing gleams mingling below in a black silence, arrested his attention. He stood looking over the parapet for a long time. The clock tower boomed a brazen blast above his drooping head. He looked up at the dial... . Half-past twelve of a wild night in the Channel.
And again Comrade Ossipon walked. His robust form was seen that night in distant parts of the enormous town slumbering monstrously on a carpet of mud under a veil of raw mist. It was seen crossing the streets without life and sound, or diminis.h.i.+ng in the interminable straight perspectives of shadowy houses bordering empty roadways lined by strings of gas lamps.
He walked through Squares, Places, Ovals, Commons, through monotonous streets with unknown names where the dust of humanity settles inert and hopeless out of the stream of life. He walked. And suddenly turning into a strip of a front garden with a mangy gra.s.s plot, he let himself into a small grimy house with a latch-key he took out of his pocket.
He threw himself down on his bed all dressed, and lay still for a whole quarter of an hour. Then he sat up suddenly, drawing up his knees, and clasping his legs. The first dawn found him open-eyed, in that same posture. This man who could walk so long, so far, so aimlessly, without showing a sign of fatigue, could also remain sitting still for hours without stirring a limb or an eyelid. But when the late sun sent its rays into the room he unclasped his hands, and fell back on the pillow.
His eyes stared at the ceiling. And suddenly they closed. Comrade Ossipon slept in the sunlight.
CHAPTER XIII
The enormous iron padlock on the doors of the wall cupboard was the only object in the room on which the eye could rest without becoming afflicted by the miserable unloveliness of forms and the poverty of material.
Unsaleable in the ordinary course of business on account of its n.o.ble proportions, it had been ceded to the Professor for a few pence by a marine dealer in the east of London. The room was large, clean, respectable, and poor with that poverty suggesting the starvation of every human need except mere bread. There was nothing on the walls but the paper, an expanse of a.r.s.enical green, soiled with indelible smudges here and there, and with stains resembling faded maps of uninhabited continents.
At a deal table near a window sat Comrade Ossipon, holding his head between his fists. The Professor, dressed in his only suit of shoddy tweeds, but flapping to and fro on the bare boards a pair of incredibly dilapidated slippers, had thrust his hands deep into the overstrained pockets of his jacket. He was relating to his robust guest a visit he had lately been paying to the Apostle Michaelis. The Perfect Anarchist had even been unbending a little.
"The fellow didn't know anything of Verloc's death. Of course! He never looks at the newspapers. They make him too sad, he says. But never mind. I walked into his cottage. Not a soul anywhere. I had to shout half-a-dozen times before he answered me. I thought he was fast asleep yet, in bed. But not at all. He had been writing his book for four hours already. He sat in that tiny cage in a litter of ma.n.u.script.
There was a half-eaten raw carrot on the table near him. His breakfast.
He lives on a diet of raw carrots and a little milk now."
"How does he look on it?" asked Comrade Ossipon listlessly.
"Angelic... . I picked up a handful of his pages from the floor. The poverty of reasoning is astonis.h.i.+ng. He has no logic. He can't think consecutively. But that's nothing. He has divided his biography into three parts, ent.i.tled-'Faith, Hope, Charity.' He is elaborating now the idea of a world planned out like an immense and nice hospital, with gardens and flowers, in which the strong are to devote themselves to the nursing of the weak."
The Professor paused.
"Conceive you this folly, Ossipon? The weak! The source of all evil on this earth!" he continued with his grim a.s.surance. "I told him that I dreamt of a world like shambles, where the weak would be taken in hand for utter extermination."
"Do you understand, Ossipon? The source of all evil! They are our sinister masters-the weak, the flabby, the silly, the cowardly, the faint of heart, and the slavish of mind. They have power. They are the mult.i.tude. Theirs is the kingdom of the earth. Exterminate, exterminate! That is the only way of progress. It is! Follow me, Ossipon. First the great mult.i.tude of the weak must go, then the only relatively strong. You see? First the blind, then the deaf and the dumb, then the halt and the lame-and so on. Every taint, every vice, every prejudice, every convention must meet its doom."
"And what remains?" asked Ossipon in a stifled voice.
"I remain-if I am strong enough," a.s.serted the sallow little Professor, whose large ears, thin like membranes, and standing far out from the sides of his frail skull, took on suddenly a deep red tint.
"Haven't I suffered enough from this oppression of the weak?" he continued forcibly. Then tapping the breast-pocket of his jacket: "And yet _I am_ the force," he went on. "But the time! The time! Give me time! Ah! that mult.i.tude, too stupid to feel either pity or fear.
Sometimes I think they have everything on their side. Everything-even death-my own weapon."
"Come and drink some beer with me at the Silenus," said the robust Ossipon after an interval of silence pervaded by the rapid flap, flap of the slippers on the feet of the Perfect Anarchist. This last accepted.
He was jovial that day in his own peculiar way. He slapped Ossipon's shoulder.
"Beer! So be it! Let us drink and he merry, for we are strong, and to-morrow we die."
He busied himself with putting on his boots, and talked meanwhile in his curt, resolute tones.
"What's the matter with you, Ossipon? You look glum and seek even my company. I hear that you are seen constantly in places where men utter foolish things over gla.s.ses of liquor. Why? Have you abandoned your collection of women? They are the weak who feed the strong-eh?"
He stamped one foot, and picked up his other laced boot, heavy, thick-soled, unblacked, mended many times. He smiled to himself grimly.
"Tell me, Ossipon, terrible man, has ever one of your victims killed herself for you-or are your triumphs so far incomplete-for blood alone puts a seal on greatness? Blood. Death. Look at history."
"You be d.a.m.ned," said Ossipon, without turning his head.
"Why? Let that be the hope of the weak, whose theology has invented h.e.l.l for the strong. Ossipon, my feeling for you is amicable contempt. You couldn't kill a fly."
But rolling to the feast on the top of the omnibus the Professor lost his high spirits. The contemplation of the mult.i.tudes thronging the pavements extinguished his a.s.surance under a load of doubt and uneasiness which he could only shake off after a period of seclusion in the room with the large cupboard closed by an enormous padlock.
"And so," said over his shoulder Comrade Ossipon, who sat on the seat behind. "And so Michaelis dreams of a world like a beautiful and cheery hospital."
"Just so. An immense charity for the healing of the weak," a.s.sented the Professor sardonically.
"That's silly," admitted Ossipon. "You can't heal weakness. But after all Michaelis may not be so far wrong. In two hundred years doctors will rule the world. Science reigns already. It reigns in the shade maybe-but it reigns. And all science must culminate at last in the science of healing-not the weak, but the strong. Mankind wants to live-to live."
"Mankind," a.s.serted the Professor with a self-confident glitter of his iron-rimmed spectacles, "does not know what it wants."
"But you do," growled Ossipon. "Just now you've been crying for time-time. Well. The doctors will serve you out your time-if you are good. You profess yourself to be one of the strong-because you carry in your pocket enough stuff to send yourself and, say, twenty other people into eternity. But eternity is a d.a.m.ned hole. It's time that you need.
You-if you met a man who could give you for certain ten years of time, you would call him your master."
"My device is: No G.o.d! No Master," said the Professor sententiously as he rose to get off the 'bus.
Ossipon followed. "Wait till you are lying flat on your back at the end of your time," he retorted, jumping off the footboard after the other.
"Your scurvy, shabby, mangy little bit of time," he continued across the street, and hopping on to the curbstone.
"Ossipon, I think that you are a humbug," the Professor said, opening masterfully the doors of the renowned Silenus. And when they had established themselves at a little table he developed further this gracious thought. "You are not even a doctor. But you are funny. Your notion of a humanity universally putting out the tongue and taking the pill from pole to pole at the bidding of a few solemn jokers is worthy of the prophet. Prophecy! What's the good of thinking of what will be!"
He raised his gla.s.s. "To the destruction of what is," he said calmly.
He drank and relapsed into his peculiarly close manner of silence. The thought of a mankind as numerous as the sands of the sea-sh.o.r.e, as indestructible, as difficult to handle, oppressed him. The sound of exploding bombs was lost in their immensity of pa.s.sive grains without an echo. For instance, this Verloc affair. Who thought of it now?
Ossipon, as if suddenly compelled by some mysterious force, pulled a much-folded newspaper out of his pocket. The Professor raised his head at the rustle.