George Washington's Rules of Civility Part 7

Chapter vii. 10. Ne vous amusez pas a considerer curieus.e.m.e.nt les defauts ou les taches, quoy que naturelles, particulierement si elles se rencontrent au visage, & ne vous enquerez pas d'ou elles out precede. Ce que vous diriez bien volontiers en l'oreille a vn amy, doit estre conserue sous la clef du sil[~e]ce, lors que vous vous trouuez en cempagnie

Take no pleasure in examining curiously defects or blemishes, although natural, especially if they be in the face, nor enquire what they proceed from. What you would readily say in the ear of a friend ought to be preserved under the key of silence when you are in society.

72d. Speak not in an unknown Tongue in Company but in your own Language and that as those of Quality do and not as y'e Vulgar; Sublime matters treat Seriously.

Chapter vii. 11. Ne vous seruez iamais en vos discours & n'employez vne langue qui ne vous est pas bien cognue & familiere, si ce n'est en vne occasion bien pressante, pour donner plus clairement a connoistre vostre pensee. Parlez tousiours en la vostre maternelle & natale, non pas grossierement, comme la lie du peuple, ou les pauures chambrieres; mais comme les plus delicats & les plus gros Bourgeois, auec erudition & auec elegance. Et prenez a tache d'obseruer en vos discours les regles de l'honnestete & de la modestie; & vous gardez bien de ces contes vn peu trop libres; ne les faites ny en l'oreille d'vn autre, ny ne les poussez par jeu auec profusion. N'employez point de termes bas & raualez ou populaires en des matieres hautes & reluees.

In your conversation never use a language with which you are not thoroughly acquainted and familiar, unless in some very urgent case to render your idea more clearly. Always speak in your native and mother tongue, not coa.r.s.ely like the dregs of the people, or poor chamber-maids, but like the most refined and well-to-do citizens, with erudition and elegance. And in your discourse take care to observe the rules of decorum and modesty, and be sure to avoid rather risky tales; do not whisper such to another, and do not indulge them too frequently in sport. Do not use low, base or vulgar expressions when treating of serious and sublime subjects.

73'd. Think before you Speak p.r.o.nounce not imperfectly nor bring out your Words too hastily but orderly and Distinctly

Chapter vii. 12. Ne vous mettez point a discourir, que vous ne vous y soyez bien prepare, & que vous n'ayez bien estudie vostre suiet.

Dans l'entretien ordinaire, n'allez point chercher de periphrases, point de subtilitez, ny de figures. Ne confondez point vos paroles dans les coutumes d'vne langue trop brusque & begayante; mais aussi, ne parlez pas si lentement, & a tant de reprises, que vous donniez de l'ennuy.

Do not begin speaking unless you are quite prepared, and have well studied your subject. In ordinary conversation do not seek periphrases, subtleties, or figures of speech. Do not let your words become confused by too abrupt or hesitating a delivery, and do not let your speech be so slow and broken as to become tedious.

74th When Another Speaks be attentive your Self and disturb not the Audience if any hesitate in his Words help him not nor Prompt him without desired, Interrupt him not, nor Answer him till his Speech be ended

Chapter vii. 13. Quand quelque autre parle, prenez garde de donner suiet a ses Auditeurs de s'en detourner; & pour vous, ecoutez-le fauorablement & auec attention, sans destourner les yeux d'vn autre coste, ou vous arrester a quelqu'autre pensee. Si quelqu'vn a de la peine a tirer ses mots comme par force, ne vous amusez pas a luy en suggerer, pour faire paroistre quelque desir d'aider celuy qui parle, si'l ne vient a vous en prier, ou que le tout se pa.s.se ds le particulier, & qu'encore cette persne soit de vos plus intimes & familiers amis; & apres tout ne l'interrompez point, & ne luy repliquez en aucune maniere, iusques a ce que luy-mesme ait acheue.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'If any drawl forth his words, help him not']

[Sidenote: The later French book has: 'It is not Civil when a Person of Quality hesitates or stops in his discourse for you to strike in, though with pretence of helping his memory.']

When another person is speaking, beware of drawing off the attention of his hearers; and as for yourself, listen to him favourably and attentively, without turning your eyes aside or directing your thoughts elsewhere. If any one finds difficulty in expressing himself, do not amuse yourself by suggesting words to him, so as to show a desire to a.s.sist the speaker unless he so requests or you are quite in private, and the person is also one of your most intimate and familiar friends. Above all, do not interrupt him, and in nowise reply to him until he has finished.

75th. In the midst of Discourse ask [not what it is about], but if you Perceive any Stop because of [your arrival, rather request the speaker]

to Proceed: If a Person of Quality comes in while your Conversing its handsome to Repeat what was said before

Chapter vii. 14. Quand vous arriuez sur la moitie de quelque discours, ne vous enquerez pas du suiet de l'entretien; car cela est trop hardy & ressent l'homme d'authorite. Suppliez plutost honnestement & courtois.e.m.e.nt que l'on le poursuiue, si vous voyez qu'il se soir interronpu a vostre arriuee, parquel que sorte de deference. Au contraire s'il suruient quelqu'vn, lors que vous parlerez, & particulierement si c'est vne personne qualifiee & de merite, il est de la bien-seance de faire vne pet.i.te recapitulation de ce qui a este auance, & de poursuiure la deduction de tout le reste de la matiere.

[Sidenote: Hawkins: 'It is seemely to make a little Epilogue and briefe collection of what thou deliveredst.]

If you arrive in the middle of any discussion, do not ask what it is about; for that is too bold and savours of one in authority.

Rather ask, genteelly and courteously, that it may be continued, if you see that the speaker has paused on your arrival, out of civility. On the other hand, if any one comes whilst you are speaking, and particularly if it be a person of quality or of merit, it is in accordance with good manners to give a slight recapitulation of what has been advanced, and then carry out the deduction of all the rest of the matter.

76th. While you are talking, Point not with your Finger at him of Whom you Discourse nor Approach too near him to whom you talk especially to his face

Chapter vi. 17. Ne montrez point au doigt la personne dont vous parlez, & ne vous approchez point trop pres de celuy que vous entretenez, non plus que de son visage, a qui il faut toujours porter quelque reuerence.

Do not point your finger at the person of whom you are speaking, and do not go too near any one with whom you are conversing, especially not near his face, which should always be held in some reverence.

77th. Treat with men at fit Times about Business & Whisper not in the Company of Others

Chapter vi. 18. Si vous auez vne affaire particuliere a communiquer a l'vne de deux personnes ou de plusieurs qui s'entretiennent ensemble, expediez en trois mots, & ne luy dites pas en l'oreille ce que vous auez a proposer; mais si la chose est secrette, tirez-la tant soit peu a l'ecart, s'il vous est possible, & que rien ne vous en empesche; parlez luy en la langue que les a.s.sistants entendent.

If you have any particular matter to communicate to one of two persons or of several, who are talking together, finish it off in three words, and do not whisper in his ear what you have to say; if the matter be secret, take him aside a little, if possible, and nothing prevents; speak to him in the language which those present understand.

78th. Make no Comparisons and if any of the Company be Commended for any brave act of Virtue, commend not another for the Same

Chapter vii. 21. Abstenez vous de faire des comparaisons des personnes l'vne auec l'autre; Et partant si l'on donne des louanges a quelqu'vn pour vne bonne action, ou pour sa vertu, gardez vous bien de louer la mesme vertu en quelque autre. Car toute comparaison se trouue odieuse.

Abstain from drawing comparisons between different persons; and if any one is praised for a good action, or for his virtue, do not praise another for the same. For all comparisons are odious.

79th. Be not apt to relate News if you know not the truth thereof. In Discoursing of things you Have heard Name not your Author always A Secret Discover not

Chapter vii. 22. Ne faites pas ais.e.m.e.nt dessein de redire aux autres les nouuelles & les rapports qui auront couru touchant les rencontres des affaires, si vous n'auez vn garant de leur verite.

Et ne vous amusez pas en racontant ces vau-de-villes, d'en citer l'Autheur, que vous ne soyez bien a.s.seure qu'il ne le trouuera pas mauuais. Gardez tousiours bien le secret qui vous a este confie & ne le ditez a personne, de crainte qu'il ne soit diuulgue.

[Sidenote: The later French book says: 'Discover not the secret of a friend, it argues a shallow understanding and a weakness.']

Be not apt to relate rumours of events, if you know not their truth. And in repeating such things do not mention your authority, unless you are sure he will like it. Always keep the secret confided to you; tell it to no one, lest it be divulged.

80th. Be not Tedious in Discourse or in reading unless you find the Company pleased therewith

Chapter vii. 23. Si vous racontez, ou lisez, ou entreprenez d'en prouuer par raisonnements quoy que ce soit, tranchez-le-court, & particulierement quand le suiet en est peu important, ou quand vous reconnoissez les degousts qu'en ont les Auditeurs.

If you are relating or reading anything, or arguing any point, be brief,--particularly when the subject is of small importance, or if you detect weariness in the listeners.

81st. Be not Curious to Know the Affairs of Others neither approach to those that Speak in Private

Chapter vii. 24. Ne temoignez pas de curiosite dans les affaires d'autruy, & ne vous approchez de la ou l'on parle en secret.

Do not show any curiosity about other people's affairs, and do not go near the place where persons are talking in private.

82d. Undertake not what you cannot Perform but be Carefull to keep your Promise

Chapter vii. 25. Ne vous chargez point d'vne chose dont vous ne vous pouuez acquiter; maintenez ce que vous auez promis.

Do not undertake anything that you cannot perform; keep your promise.

83d. When you deliver a matter do it without Pa.s.sion & with Discretion, however mean y'e Person be you do it too

Chapter vii. 27. Quand vous faites vne amba.s.sade, vn rapport, ou donnez l'ouuerture de quelque affaire, taschez de le faire sans pa.s.sion & auec discretion, soit que vous ayez a traitter auec personnes de peu, ou personnes de qualite.

When you fulfil a mission, deliver a report, or undertake the opening of any matter, try to do it dispa.s.sionately and discreetly, whether those with whom you have to treat be of humble or high position.