Count Bunker Part 33

"I find, sir, that his darned my-lords.h.i.+p--and be d.a.m.ned to his t.i.tles----"

"Mr. Maddison!" expostulated the Count gently.

"I find, Count, I find that Lord Tulliwuddle, under pretext of paying my Eleanor a compliment, has provided an entertainment--a musical and athletic entertainment--for another woman!"

The Count sprang to his feet.

"Impossible!" he cried.

"It is true!"

"Name her!"

"She answers, sir, to the plebeian cognomen of Gallosh."

"A n.o.body!" sneered Ri.

"In trade!" added his father scornfully.

Had the occasion been more propitious, the Count could scarcely have refrained from commenting upon this remarkably republican criticism; but, as it was, he deemed it more advisable to hunt with the hounds.

"That canaille!" he shouted. "Ha, ha! Lord Tulliwuddle would never so far demean himself!"

"I have it from old Gallosh himself," declared Mr. Maddison.

"And that girl Gallosh told Eleanor the same," added Ri.

"Pooh!" cried the Count. "A mere invention."

"You are certain, sir, that Lord Tulliwuddle gave them no grounds whatever for supposing such a thing?"

"I pledge my reputation as Count of the Austrian Empire, that if my friend be indeed a Tulliwuddle he is faithful to your charming daughter!"

Father and son looked at him shrewdly.

"Being a Tulliwuddle, or any other sort of pampered aristocrat, doesn't altogether guarantee faithfulness," observed the Silver King.

"If he has deceived you, he shall answer to ME!" declared the Count.

"And between ourselves, as nature's gentleman to nature's gentleman, you may a.s.sure Miss Maddison that there is not the remotest likelihood of this scheming Miss Gallosh ever becoming my friend's bride!"

The two Dariuses were sensibly affected by this a.s.surance.

"As nature's gentleman to nature's gentleman!" repeated the elder with unction, wringing his hand.

His son displayed an equal enthusiasm, and the Count departed with an enhanced reputation and the lingering fragrance of a c.o.c.ktail upon his tongue.

"Now I think we are in comparatively smooth water," he said to himself as he whizzed back to the castle.

At the door he was received by the butler.

"Mr. Gallosh is waiting for you in the library, my lord," said he, adding confidentially (since the Count had endeared himself to all), "He's terrible impatient for to see your lords.h.i.+p."

CHAPTER XXVI

Evidently Mr. Gallosh, while waiting for the Count's return, had so worked up his wrath that it was ready to explode on a hair-trigger touch; and, as evidently, his guest's extreme urbanity made it exceedingly difficult to carry out his threatening intentions.

"I want a word with you, Count. I've been wanting a word with you all morning," he began.

"Believe me, Mr. Gallosh, I appreciate the compliment."

"Where were you? I mean it was verra annoying not to find you when I wanted you."

The merchant was so evidently divided between anxiety to blurt out his mind while it was yet hot from the making up, and desire not to affront a guest and a man of rank, that the Count could scarcely restrain a smile.

"It is equally annoying to myself. I should have enjoyed a conversation with you at any hour since breakfast."

"Umph," replied his host.

"What can I do for you now?"

Mr. Gallosh looked at him steadfastly.

"Count Bunker," said he, "I am only a plain man----"

"The ladies, I a.s.sure you, are not of that opinion," interposed the Count politely.

Mr. Gallosh seemed to him to receive this compliment with more suspicion than pleasure.

"I'm saying," he repeated, "that I'm only a plain man of business, and you and your friend are what you'd call swells."

"G.o.d forbid that I should!" the Count interjected fervently. "'Toffs,'

possibly--but no matter, please continue."

"Well, now, so long as his lords.h.i.+p likes to treat me and my family as kind of belonging to a different sphere, I'm well enough content. I make no pretensions, Count, to be better than what I am."

"I also, Mr. Gallosh, endeavor to affect a similar modesty. It's rather becoming, I think, to a fine-looking man."

"It's becoming to any kind of man that he should know his place. But I was saying, I'd have been content if his lords.h.i.+p had been distant and polite and that kind of thing. But was he? You know yourself, Count, how he's behaved!"

"Perfectly politely, I trust."

"But he's not been what you'd call distant, Count Bunker. In fac', the long and the short of it is just this--what's his intentions towards my Eva?"

"Is it Mrs. Gallosh who desires this information?"

"It is. And myself too; oh, I'm not behindhand where the reputation of my daughters is concerned!"