Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 1 Chapter 1

“Un? This is…”

A fan?

Just when I was tidying up clutter in the house out of boredom, I happened to find a feather fan.

Though I didn’t know where it came from, I could feel that this fan was not normal from looking at the scattered feather fragments.

“Dad~~~ What is this? Is it a lucky draw prize?” I took the fan to the hall.

“Ah? What is it?” Dad frowned as he continued looking at the football channel on the television without bothering to look over, “Doesn’t matter what it is! If you have free time why don’t you go study instead. Don’t forgot you will be a high school senior next year and your results are still so average…”

Dad continued on, but I had left long ago.

Really, when did he become so long winded.

Un?

Something caught my eye. I found that the fan had… Un? Why is there a piece of paper here?

The piece of paper was very old and felt like it would disintegrate if I touched it.

I carefully pulled it out.

“Return, to, owner?”

There were only these words written in large fonts on the piece of paper. I looked at the t.i.tle of the paper–

What is this?

…

Un? Why do I feel faint?

Wu!

All of a sudden, I felt an acute pain that started at my heart and went up to my brain, which hurt so much I fell to the ground, unable to move.

Haa, haa, I can’t breather.

My life, ends here.

Just then, the floor disappeared and I fell through.

Ah!~~~~

“What is with this screaming you idiot!!!!”

“Ouch.”

A voice and pain that appeared out of nowhere pulled me back to reality.

“Ah…” A pint sized girl appeared in front of me as I slowly opened my eyes.

Who is she?

I asked out loud, and touched my chest. But strangely, it did not hurt anymore.

“You don’t need to be so surprised actually. Why did you act up so violently just from looking at the notice.” The girl seemed to feel like she said too much when she saw my innocent look. She scratched the back of her head, walked over and reached out her hand, “Can you get up?”

“Ah… Ah, yes I can.” I felt a little uncomfortable, but I could move fine.

“Un, doesn’t look like too much of a problem.” She sized me up, “Though you are a little short, but your body is quite st.u.r.dy eh.”

I don’t want to be called short by a little girl.

I thought, looking at the girl. She was shorter than me by 2 heads, with smooth, flowing black hair that stopped at her shoulders, green energetic eyes and she was wearing… A tunic? Perhaps it’s a recent trend to wear ancient clothing…

Wait…

Speaking of which, where is this place?

I looked around and found that there were short and small houses about. The people who were walking about were all unfamiliar faces. To be clearer, this is definitely not a part of my house.

“Ah, little girl– Ouch!!”

This little lady kicked my elbow.

“Don’t call me a little girl, I’m already 16.”

“Hai~~~~– Ouch!!”

Don’t step on me as well okay?

“A complete look of disbelief…”

“You think too much.” I steeled my glance and lied, “Wait, leave that aside, can I ask where is this?”

“… Ha?” When she heard me finish, she tiptoed and touched my forehead. Having her face come right up close all of a sudden, I wasn’t able to react, “Are you sick? Is this not the Zhuo county?”

“And, and so,” I pushed her hand aside, “Where is Zhuo county? And why am I holding a feather fan…”

Feather fan?

“… Ah!!!!– Ouch!!”

“Why are you always yelling?”

I didn’t bother replying, and stared at the fan in a daze.

If I wasn’t wrong, this situation was because of the fan… Impossible is what common sense says but there is no other possibility.

The paper? Where is the piece of paper?

“Oi, what are you looking for?”

Gone?

… So it’s that then? I can’t return? G.o.d played a prank on me?

“No way!!!– Ouch!”

“Stop yelling and getting shocked! Weirdo!” She pulled my collar, “Leave all of that aside, see this first.”

“I don’t have the mood…” As I said that, I saw the girl’s face which had turned serious, and did not continue.

“Notice?” I muttered and looked at the board in front.

I looked at where she was looking, and there was indeed a notice. For some reason, it was all in ancient characters and I didn’t know too much. But there were some words I could pick out.

Army recruitment by Liu Yan, Administrator of You state?

A-re? What is the feeling of familiarity…

“Ah, excuse me lit… lady what is your name?”

“Me?”

“Un.”

“Why are you asking my name all of a sudden? What a weirdo… But it’s not like it’s something that can’t be said.” She released me and waved her hand as she spoke before introducing herself, “My name is Zhang Fei, courtesy name Yi De… What is with that look, I know that name isn’t a girl’s name okay.”

I was completely stunned, as I looked as the girl who called herself “Zhang Fei”.

“No no no,” The problem wasn’t that, the problem was, “… Zhang Fei is actually a girl! –Ouch!!”

“Where did you hear that I’m not a girl? Who doesn’t know I’m not a girl in a 10 mile radius?!”

“But… But…”

This is way too ridiculous.

Looking at the notice, I had an ominous feeling but I didn’t expect it to be true. Though the s.e.xual difference was there from the start.

But I really was in the era of the Three Kingdoms.

“Oi, you still haven’t answered my question! What do you think of this…”

“That sort of thing doesn’t matter!!” I had no leisure to mind this, “Let me tel, you I have no time to bother about what administrator of You state, that guy can’t live for long anyway as his idiot of a son will ruin his household.”

“Un? How do you know all this?”

Ah… I forgot, I had transferred. In such a situation, should I be more careful talking about things that haven’t happened?

“… This, this sort of thing, you can reach that conclusion after a little bit of thinking right?”

“Oh~~~~”

Zhang Fei let out a sigh of admiration as I finished. It really is a big help that she did not ask further.

“So forget the notice, as for you you can go do whatever you want, I–”

“Un un, you’re leading?”

“Ah?” Her unexpected words made me unable to speak for a moment before I frantically waved my hands, “No what I mean is–”

I must refuse.

“That’s good. You being the leader is good. Though you are a weirdo, you seem very impressive.” As she finished. she tiptoed and patted my shoulders and continued in a serious tone, “I like you, it’s decided. From now on, I shall follow you.”

“Nononono.”

No, I must explain it clearly.

“Listen to me,” I pushed her hands away, and gripped her shoulders to show my seriousness and looked her in the eyes, “Actually– Ouch!”

“You, what are you doing?” She was a bit fluctered as she retracted her hand, her face showing a hint of red shyness.

“As I was saying!” My patience had reached its limits and my voice was loud. “I’m telling you, I only want to go home and nothing else!”

“Oi~~~~~” A villager from behind called out, “Your mother is dying!!”

“Ah?”

Mother?

“Oh, so that’s what you meant.” She had a look that was as if she understood my intentions, “Let’s go back quickly, I’ll go with you!”

“…”

There’s no way I’m going to explain through this!

After returning home, my, or rather Liu Bei’s mother was lying there dying. Though I really wanted to explain myself, I felt that it was better not to say such things with an elderly person at death’s door.

After mother said all that she wanted, she gave out. By right I should be crying my eyes out but with an old person I had met for the first time, I can’t force my tears out like that. All I could do was show my sadness on my face as I walked out of the house.

“You really are kind huh.”

Un?

I looked back and found that Zhang Fei had followed me.

“I now understand why you wanted to go home that much, you really are a filial son.” Her look was overflowing with kindness.

“Actually that isn’t what I meant.” But I also didn’t know how to speak the truth at this time.

“But now that your mother has pa.s.sed, you shouldn’t have any worries.”

Worries huh~ I do have a lot about my present circ.u.mstances.

I squatted on a rock in the gra.s.s, and stared at the feather fan in a daze.

“… Can you believe it? I don’t even know that old lady.”

“Haha, I understand, it’s good to forget.” She really is good at twisting my words, “May, may I please ask for your full name?”

From the looks of it, she probably doesn’t speak politely very often. Really, if you aren’t used to it, then no need to force yourself…

“Hai~~~~” I gave a long sigh because I just knew it would go like that. So I decided to resist it a little, “Perhaps at this time I should be saying ‘My name is Liu Bei Liu Xuan De’ but really I’m not, my name is–”

(TL: Xuan De is the courtesy name)

… A-re? What was my name again?

“Oh~ Liu Bei huh~~~~ It’s a nice name.”

“No, I’m–”

What’s going on? Why is only “Liu Bei” appearing in my brain when I’m not Liu Bei? What is this, memory control?

“Liu Xuan De right??”

“… Forget it, call me whatever you like.”

I gave up and accepted it.

In such a situation, there was no need to say so much unnecessary things.

“Good, I’ll call you Xuan De from now on, and you can call me Yi De.” The girl smiled, “Let’s go have a drink at the inn and discuss our grand plans from now on.”

I had no intention to embark on any grand plans.

So said my heart but I was unable to stop her at all. She smiled and dragged me to the inn by my sleeve. Only then I found that she had a clump of hair tied up and floated behind her as she walked.

“Boss, give us a pot of wine!” Yi De yelled out in a terrifyingly loud voice as she entered. She then found a table and sat down.

“Alright~~”

In no time at all, wine was served to the table.

“I don’t drink.”

“Ma ma ma, just one sip.”

“Oh… So bland!”

Doesn’t this taste like the rice wine which is used to cook fish?

(TL: Some sort of ingredient used to make fish. Pretty sure it’s not very alcoholic as I ate it as a child… Or not.)

“Oh~~ Looks like you are a guy with heavy tastes. Gudong, ha~~~” Yi De downed her cup.

… Drinking this much should be fine for this kind of wine right.

But now isn’t the time for me to be thinking about this.

I looked about, trying to find a 2m tall red faced big man. If I wasn’t wrong, this should be the place of that scene, and Guan Yu should be coming. To prevent this plot from advancing further, I must avoid that person no matter what. But I haven’t seen him…

Strands of red string floated by, and went past my nose.

“Ah… Ah… Achoo!!”

I sneezed suddenly, perhaps because of the stimulation from the red strings.

“Oi, the one sitting behind there! Your hair is causing trouble.” Yi De said when she saw this, what a frank and outspoken person.

“Ah? Oh, sorry, my hair is a bit long.” A girl’s voice came from behind.

“Ah, it’s okay it’s okay.” I turned my head and waved it off.

This person was about my height, and had really long hair, and it was even a rare red colour. She had silver eyes that had a bright light in them but she was unsmiling and looked like a very serious person.

“Looking at you, you’re not a local right.” Yi De asked on seeing her hair.

“Ah, indeed I am not. I came from the north.” The girl said, “I saw the army recruitment notice when I came into the city today and I have decided to join.”

(TL: No no no, it doesn’t matter what part of China you come from! Unless you mean Russia, there’s no way a Chinese has red hair and silver eyes!)

“Ah? Speaking of which, girls can join the army now?”

I suddenly thought of a very important question.

“Why not?” That girl looked at me like I was an outdated and ancient person, “Women have had equal status with men since the Shang Dynasty.”

(TL: That’s 1600 BC by the way, and unlike j.a.pan which has long periods in history where men and women were equal in status, China has always been largely male dominated.)

“…”

If my memory is correct, it was the 19th century womens’ rights movements that started in Western countries that gave equal status… Maa, it’s not like these people would know anyway.

“Oi, how about you join us.” Yi De asked the girl, “This man doesn’t only look silly, he is quite the visionary~~ He has already predicted that the You state idiot will definitely meet with defeat.”

“Oh~~~ Please tell me your full name.”

“I am…”

Ah!! I really did forgot my real name.

“His name is Liu Bei, you can just call him Xuan De. You?”

Why did you help me say it?

“Ah, I haven’t said mine yet huh. I apologise.” She stood up straight and said, “My name is Guan Yu and my courtesy name is Yun Chang. Please just call me Yun Chang.”

“…”

Ah?!!

“You… You are Guan Yun Chang?!”

“That is me… Is there a problem?”

“But… No, no problem.”

Zhang Fei is already a girl, having Guan Yu be a girl as well isn’t too strange.

“Haa, he really is quite weird huh.”

“I’ll say.”

They both nodded in agreement.

It’s not me that’s weird, it’s this world!

I didn’t think Guan Yu would be a girl as well, now the story will–

“Alright, let’s become sworn siblings.”

“How did it develop so quickly?!”

“Not at all, any later and the war will be over! How then can we serve the Imperial Court?”

“Un, I agree with Yi De.”

Yun Chang nodded at the side.

“Speaking of which, you’re joining just like that?”

“Maa, where ever I go, it’s the same, joining the army. In which case, why not be together with some people I can really get along with. Won’t that be much better.”

Really get along with… All we did just now was say a few words and sneeze once right?

Just like that, I was half dragged, half pushed and we 3 ended up at Zhang Fei’s house.

According to age, Yi De was the youngest and though I was the same age as Yun Zhang, I was born slightly earlier so I was the eldest.

“The Xuan De is the big brother, Yun Zhang is the second sister and I am the third sister.

… That sounds so weird.

After we swore our oath and prepared the altar, we lit up joss sticks.

“Speaking of which, who do we pray to?” Yi De asked.

“Wouldn’t it normally be Guan Gong?” I suggested.

(TL: Another way of calling Guan Yu.)

“Why pray to me?!” Yun Chang naturally opposed this as she laughed.

“Then pray to this.” I gave up and placed the fan on the altar, “It’s all thanks to this that I’m in a strange place like here.”

“Oh, then so it is then.”

“Un.”

You 2 don’t seem to care at all what it is we pray to.

Hai~~~ Though I am happy to have 2 beauties at my sides, but I really can’t get fired up at all.

I continued the ritual and oath with a bad taste in my heart and prayed.