Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 2 Chapter 3

Alright, now that 2 people have fallen, let me organise my thoughts.

First of all, the chillies are an absolute landmine, no question about it. Secondly, Yun Chang, Gan Qing and Mi Zhen’s cooked food is, in a sense, more horrific than the chillies.

At least there’s still some time before it’s my turn so I can continue observing for now.

“General Xu Chu, it’s your turn.” Guo Jia urged little Xu Chu who was about to cry.

“*s.h.i.+ku*… Xiao E~~~” Xu Chu looked at Dian Wei with puppy eyes, hoping to be saved.

“Don’t cry Zhong Kang… Feng Xiao, let me eat her share for her.”

“Though no help can be rendered by right, and no food besides what has been put into the cauldron can be eaten…” Guo Jia thought for a moment before continuing, “I’ll make this an exception.”

So you’re allowing it then.

“Un, thank you very much.” Dian Wei nodded at Guo Jia before turning to look at Xu Chu with kind eyes, “Alright Zhong Kong, go ahead and take something out. If it’s something bad, I’ll eat it for you.”

“Xiao E~~” Xu Chu looked gratefully at Dian Wei as she hesitantly brought her chopsticks to the h.e.l.lhole while everyone waited with bated breaths.

And what was taken out was– Tofu.

“Ah! I brought that tofu.” I hurriedly raised my hand as I said so. Hu~~~~ If it’s my food, then Xu Chu will probably be safe.

“Looks like it’s safe huh. Thank you xiao E, I’ll eat this myself.” Xu Chu seemed to feel relieved and dipped it in sauce before eating it.

“Ue~~~ Though I’m alright, but it feels like this tofu has been given a weird taste from the soup.” Xu Chu complained as she spat out her tongue, but she should probably be feeling grateful inside.

“Alright, my turn now.” Dian Wei picked up her chopsticks– A carrot.

“What! Someone actually put in a whole carrot!” Hua Tuo exclaimed instantly, even though Dian Wei didn’t actually react that much to it.

“…” Feng Xian raised her hand, and then explained. “I bought it for Red Hare’s lunch, these were the extras.”

Don’t give us dog food oi! Maa, though it is better than some of the other food here, at least cut it first before putting it in~~

Dian Wei was probably thinking as much, as the swollen carrot was difficult for her to put in her mouth. But she did what she could, and finally ate it as tears filled her eyes from the effort.

In any case, Dian Wei appears to be okay, next is Li Dian and Yue Jin–

“…” Li Dian held a chilli in her chopsticks.

“…” Yue Jin held a chilli in her chopsticks.

“… Please go ahead.” Guo Jia specially said to them. Seems like she doesn’t want to let them hesitate.

“Ahen.” “Ahen.”

The 2 did not reply, and wordlessly ate it one after another. … Oi oi, you two are actually chewing it for so long… Ah, they just swallowed it.

“.,, 95 marks for spiciness. Yue Jin, what do you think?”

“I would say 100 marks, Li Dian.”

After they finished, they nonchalantly graded the chillies with red faces. But really, what is their standard for giving marks huh? I really don’t get it.

“Hou~~~~ To think you all withstood that…” Guo Jia said as she lightly clapped.

“Th, that’s really amazing you two.” Zhang Liao was the first one up from our side, “Un, my turn now…”

She got…. A piece of leaf… What is this?

“Hu, safe for now.” Zhang said as she heaved a sigh of relief, “Oh by the way, this lotus leaf was brought by me.”

Un? So that’s a lotus leaf?

“But are lotus leaves edible?” I asked.

“Why not? Though they are a little bitter, it’s a rather refres.h.i.+ng taste.” Zhang Liao said as a matter of factly as she ate the lotus leaf. “Wu! … But after sitting in that soup for so long, they aren’t tasty anymore.”

I don’t think anything will still taste good after being dipped in that soup.

“My turn now.” Feng Xian used one hand to hold the Red Hare and the other to take something out with her chopsticks– A slice of ginger (after that, we found out that this was brought by Xiahou Yuan who intended to prank her elder sister with it). No, it should be called a piece of whole ginger.

“…Ahen.” Without any hesitation whatsoever, Feng Xian placed the entire piece of ginger into her mouth and began chewing,

Ah, I’m salivating like mad just thinking about how acrid and spicy it must be.

“Ugh.” Tears filled Feng Xian’s eyes as she swallowed before saying. “So spicy~~~”

Of course it is!

But really, Feng Xian handled it really well with just such a small reaction.

But next is the one I am most concerned about.

“Gan Qing, if you think it’s too dangerous then just forfeit.” I hurriedly stopped her out of worry as I saw her pick up her chopsticks, hoping she would think it over.

At the end of the day, Gan Qing is not like the rest. She’s just a normal person so I’m worried whether she can take what might come.

But Gan Qing did not seem very happy at hearing what I said as she replied to me with creased eyebrows. “Xuan De, I don’t like hearing those kind of words.” She said as she reached out with her chopsticks. “As a fellow woman, as someone who wants to win, I am willing to fight for what I want and won’t give up until the very end.”

“Un, Gan Qing really is a forthright woman.” Yun Chang said as she nodded, impressed at what Gan Qing said.

Along with Gan Qing’s resolute eyes, I really couldn’t say anything more.

— She got celery, good thing it’s only a small stick.

“Oh~ I brought that.” Dian Wi said as she raised her hand.

Maa, this sort of ingredient is pretty normal.

“…” “…” “…”

Un? In the short time when Dian Wei raised her hand, the Xu state 3 had already picked their food out of the cauldron. Wait, weren’t we supposed to do it one by one? Why did they do it together?

Maa, never mind. I looked at what they had picked — Stone, stone, and stone.

… Is it just me or, or did they pick out stones? And they don’t look like ordinary stones either.

“Umm, who brought these?” Guo Jia with creased eyebrows as she looked at the stones,

The Xu state 3 put down their chopsticks and raised their hands slowly.

So it’s they themselves who brought the stones!

“We did.” “Because you said ingredients, so we did bring ingredients~~~ Though they’re ingredients for making jade.” “We didn’t just pick these up from the ground any old how too, these are premium jade stones too.”

(TL: It’s wordplay that’s impossible to bring in English. Basically Liu Bei had asked them to bring 食材 (s.h.i.+cai) or food ingredients, which they thought was 石材 (s.h.i.+cai) or rock materials.)

Maa, it’s true that I’m to blame for not making things clearer, but why would someone think that they should bring rocks over to someone’s place for dinner?

And no matter how premium the jade is, it can’t be edible…

“You 3 better think this through… If you eat this, you might–” Guo Jia reminded them when she saw that no one else spoke.

Indeed, jade can’t be eaten and it would probably be dangerous if they tried.

“… Unfortunately, we can only forfeit.” “… If I knew it would be like this, I wouldn’t have went for the bottom of the cauldron.” “d.a.m.n it, what a waste~~” After xiao Yong’s very dissatisfied rant, the 3 put down their chopsticks very unwillingly and forfeited.

I guess I should commend you 3 for even being able to take those heavy jade stones out with your chopsticks.

But just like that, another 3 people have dropped out huh~~~ Not even 1 round has pa.s.sed and there are already 5 casualties… This game truly is scary. I think that this game should conclude in just a rew rounds.

I looked around at everyone’s faces, and it felt like they were thinking that they wanted to back out but it was a hard-to-come-by chance… As for myself, I felt like the prize was okay, and I was in it just to partic.i.p.ate along with everyone else but now I feel like backing out would be a wise decision.

“Big brother do your best, it will be us soon.” Yun Chang encouraged me as she held my hand.

“Ha~~”

Un… Just from the atmosphere alone, it doesn’t seem like I can back out easily.

“A-re~~ I got a jade stone as well~~~ I forfeit~~~”

Just then, Hua Tuo said in an unusually drawling tone.

“Maa, if it’s like that, it can’t be helped…” Guo Ji seemed to be unsatisfied but she did not pursue the matter and seemed to imply that those who want to back out may do so.

“Me now!” Yi De seemed to very happy for some reason and reached out with her chopsticks and brought it out instantly, the quickest person to pick something out thus far, “What is this huh? Maa, never mind! I’m starving already.”

I don’t know what Yi De picked as she put it in her mouth and swallowed it before I could see.

“Oh~~” Guo Jia cheered happily and clapped lightly, “Please learn from her, everyone… What was that, ah yes, this is how adults eat. Our game can only end quickly if everyone eats like this.”

More like our nightmare will end more quickly! It’s not like everyone can be like Yi De and swallow without chewing at all. Moreover, wouldn’t this just hasten our end?

“… Yi De, what was it that you ate? What does it taste like?” I asked out of concern, hoping that nothing untoward would happen to my little sister.

“I don’t know. I’m very hungry so I just swallowed it down without chewing.” Yi De said happily, upon which I could hear her stomach growling… As they say, hunger is the best spice after all.

“Xuan De, you’re up next.” Meng De suddenly called out to me, and seemed to be eagerly antic.i.p.ating what would happen to me…

“Big brother do your best!” Yun Chang was cheering me on from the side. But what help was encouragement in a gamble…

So–

I stuck my chopsticks in deep and made for the bottom, searching for the jade stones.

Though I feel bad for the girls who are so serious about this, my heart can’t take this anymore and my only safe way out is to graciously forfeit after picking a jade stone.

Found it! … Un… It’s hard to pick up, how the heck did Hua Tuo and the Xu state 3 do it? … Come over here, you… It slipped away again! … No good, if this keeps us, the others will get suspicious… d.a.m.n it!! … Alright! I got a firm grip!

“You’re it!” I yelled out loud as I swiped out what was in my chopsticks in one go!

—- A-re? Why is the jade stone burnt like charcoal? And doesn’t this shape look like…

Meat stew?!

“Ah, th, that beef stew was from me.” Yun Chang stammered shyly as she saw that I had picked her food.

To think, to think I… But why is this ‘meat’ so hard?

“No, I made that meat stew!” All of a sudden, Gan Qing slammed the table and yelled at Yun Chang. “I made meat stew too! What Xuan De is eating is definitely mine!”

The same dis.h.!.+ The same level of cooking! To think they clashed head on!

“I made the meat stew!”

“I made it!”

The two of them began arguing immediately.

Whoever made it doesn’t matter, my fate has been decided. No matter how I think about it, this scene is exactly the same as before…

Hai, I’ve gone this far already, and I no longer have a legitimate reason to back out. I can only hope that these 2 have improved their cooking skills.

Ahen~ I put the piece of ‘slightly hard meat stew’ into my mouth and intended to swallow it without chewing just like Yi De. But, of course, things never go as simple as I hope for.

Wu! Ue~~

What is this? Just placing it in my mouth induces a strong wave of nausea. Could it be trauma from the last time? Though it does seem better than before, just from the nausea, I can conclude that they have not actually improved much.

Speaking of which, this meat is really hard. It will probably scratch my throat if I swallow without chewing.

As I thought so, I carefully chewed in–

Guee~~ This meat has a lot of juice in it~~~ But the taste is so weird, it’s a little sweet and for some reason has some Chinese medical herb taste… Ah the strong attack on my senses is overwhelming me!

I’m dying! I’m dying!

“”How is it?”” A nervous Yun Chang and an eager Gan Qing asked me simultaneously. Of course, there’s no way I can tell them that it’s nasty.

“Un, you’ve improved.” I said with a bitter smile.

Well just a teensy bit of improvement. If it weren’t for my sufficient mental preparations, I would have been carried in like Xiahou Dun.

“Is, is that so.” “That’s great.” Though the 2 of them gave different replies, they seemed rather pleased with the review I gave them.

“Un, seems like you made it.” Meng De said and seemed somewhat unsatisfied.

“My turn now.” Yun Chang said with a scarlet face as she reached out with her chopsticks. “This is it!”

— Chilli

“O-tto, looks like you got the prize huh!” Before Yun Chang could even react, Gan Qing had already walked up to Yun Chang and gave a sarcastic comment.

… But she’s right, looks like Yun Chang did indeed step on a landmine.

But it feels like this chilli is different from before~~

“I didn’t put this chilli in?~~~” Guo Jia said dubiously with creased eyebrows. Looks like this chilli really is different from the ones before.

Just then, one person’s hand rose up high.

This person was Meng De.

“M, my lord!” Guo Jia exclaimed in surprise.

“When I saw you go out this afternoon, I realised that it was for preparing the ingredients.” Meng De said, and picked out something from the cauldron– My tofu. “I saw your chillies and thought I’d bring some chillies of my own as well. However, the chillies I brought, are from Jing state.”

Ahen, Meng De ate the tofu after she finished.

“You actually brought chillies from Jing state! Chillies from there are the spiciest in all of the Central Plains!”

What?! … I didn’t think that Meng De would be so s.a.d.i.s.tic in a time like this.

Yun Chang looked terrible, but she still brought the chopsticks to her mouth. She stared right at the chilli in her chopsticks, while she uttered under her breath, “For the reward, for the reward…”

And then, she put it inside her mouth—-

“Yun Chang!” I cried out in concern as I watched Yun Chang begin chewing.

Yun Chang shut her eyes tight as she moved her teeth slowly and chewed the small chilli. Even though I was just looking, even I was terribly nervous.

“Uhn.” Yun Chang swallowed, but her eyes were still shut. After a long while, Yun Chang finally said slowly, “Let me lie down for a while.”

And as she said so, she lay down on the table.

“General Guan Yu, won’t you forfeit?”

“… I,” Yun Chang said weakly as she lay on the table, “I can still continue, I’ll recover.”

At this, Guo Jia did not say anything more.

And just like that, the first round of the game came to an end. However the game hasn’t ended. And because of the chillies from Jing state, the end of the game seems ever closer than before.