Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 1 Chapter 7

“So boreddd~~~” Zhang Fei rolled across the table in the hall like naughty little kid.

(TL: Don’t know what’s wrong with the author, sometimes he uses the courtesy name, sometimes not.)

Though she isn’t very big to begin with.

“Don’t be like that, it will be disrespectful to those people who come to seek redress.” Yun Chang said, looking more like Yi De’s mother than her older sister as she carried Yi De off the table with a troubled look.

“But this week has been so boring. No battles to fight, no armies to march. We just sit here all day and night, when are we going to do great things?”

“As for me, I actually think this isn’t too bad. The commoners here are friendly, the original officials are capable and don’t need our interference.” I said as I sat on the side and leisurely drank tea.

As expected, peace is the best.

“And besides, didn’t you complain about how tiring it was when we were marching about? Why do you want to do it now?”

“Big brother, everything has to be in moderation. To have me be totally free all of sudden, what am I to do? Slaughter pigs?”

Why not? Isn’t that a good idea? That’s your original occupation.

(TL: Unable to confirm.)

“Big brother, actually I have something to say about this as well.” Yun Chang walked up to me, “Though what Yi De said was a little frivolous, she has a point. We raised an army for the purpose of bringing peace to the world and restore the Han rule. The world is still chaotic and many officials such as Dong Zhuo and Yuan Shu have designs on the throne. The Han royal family is in danger and is in need of help. How can we hide here and pa.s.s out time leisurely?”

Yun Chang frowned, looking unsatisfied with the present situation.

“Though I don’t quite understand what Yun Chang said, I think being vigilant and not being too relaxed is better.” Hua Tuo said with a similarly troubled look as she kept brisk walking in circles about the hall, stopping to use her white stick to regain balance from time to time but never sitting down. “Based on my recent body check ups, we have all gotten a little fatter after these past few days.”

“Wu…” Yi De pinched her tummy with a face that looked like she was about to cry.

“That, that is… Big brother, let me say this first. It’s not because of weight gain that I’m thinking of going into battle to lose weight.”

“Ah… I understand what you mean.” Well I shouldn’t say too much about things like weight since they are girls after all, “No need to be so hasty, soon we will return to our days of living from hand to mouth. Look, I’ve already prepared the thing that is needed.”

Did you really think I was just pa.s.sing my days leisurely? Well, a little, but I was actually waiting for an event.

“What thing?”

I pulled out something from my waist and the 3 came up close to see it.

“This is it.”

“A whip? What are you going to do with a whip?”

“This, will of course be used to—”

“Lord Liu Bei!! Lord Liu Bei!!” A small official came rus.h.i.+ng in, “The Imperial Inspector is here!!”

Un, just as I had predicted, the inspector has arrived.

“I got it, go and receive the inspector first. We will be there shortly.” I got up and looked at each of them, “This whip, is for hitting the Imperial Inspector.”

The 3 of them frowned on hearing what I said.

“Big brother, they are an even higher official than us. Us. .h.i.tting them? Are you mad? There’s also no reason to do so right?” The one to first say such things was unexpectedly the one most likely to be the attacked, Yi De.

“I didn’t say we had to hit him, we just need to do so after he performs wrongdoings on civilians.”

“Huh?”

They don’t seem to understand.

Never mind, when the time comes, I’ll do it when I feel like it.

“Let’s go and receive him.”

“The Imperial Inspector has arrived!”

“… Gr, greetings Mi, miss Inspector.”

As I finished stammering my greetings, everyone bowed.

“Ah~~~ I’m so happy~~~ Prefect Liu.” She said as she threw a seductive wink at me.

Oh, my G.o.d.

… Why is it like this.

This Inspector… Looks to be nearing 30 years of age. The clothes she was wearing was covering even less than her hair. And she had a smoking hot body with huge b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Just one wink could make all the men here fall to her charms.

In short she was very… Morally unrestrained.

Un, I must not be antagonistic.

“U, umm… Please come in.”

She came off her horse but she did not walk straight in. Instead she went out of the way to my side and—-

“I love young meat the most.” She blew softly into my ear after whispering to me.

“Haa!?”

I backed up instinctively with my face and ears dyed red, and Yun Chang and Yi De who was behind me hurriedly supported me. On seeing this, she merely laughed.

“Kekeke, such a cute boy.”

After saying that, she went on ahead through the doors. I stayed in that exact pose, with my hair standing on end, and took a long while to recover.

The, the Inspector is her? Even if we leave aside the change in s.e.x, this is way too different from what I know.

“That woman… How dare she toy with big brother!”

“Don’t need to be angry little sister, big brother won’t fall for tricks from that kind of woman… Big brother?”

“… Ah? Did you call me?” I only just heard Yun Chang calling me, and straightened my back.

When Yun Chang saw me like this, she seemed to have simmering anger for some reason.

“So in the end it’s still…” Yun Chang said as she fondled her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and got even more angry, “d.a.m.n it, that woman’s are bigger than mine…”

“I’m really angry, but for some reason I want to cry even more!”

Yi De looked at Yun Chang and ran off crying when she finished.

“Ah! Little sister, I did not mean it that way.”

“Eh? Eh? What’s going on? I can’t see very clearly so I don’t understand.” Hua Tuo was squinting as she looked all about.

“Maa, you don’t need to understand. It’s messy enough as it is.”

I felt heat as I touched my face. Could it be that I really fell for it.

… Not good, too dangerous.

“Eh?” Hua Tuo, free of all conflict and worry, innocently bent her head to the side.

“That woman must leave!”

“Un, after seeing her this morning and observing her this afternoon, I can conclude that this woman is far too shameless and it’s best for her to leave.”

Miss Inspector had gone to take an afternoon nap. And Yi De and Yun Chang had pulled me to the front of the inspector’s room for a small meeting.

But why here?

“I don’t have any strong feelings about that.” I said as I glanced at the Inspector’s room. “And isn’t she leaving tomorrow anyway? Just bear with it for now.”

I too had observed her actions this afternoon and besides some morally unrestrained acts, she didn’t engage in any wrongdoings and so I felt I had no reason to whip her. As for her personality, we just have to bear with it for a bit.

Of course, this was definitely not because I had some kind of ideas in my head so please don’t misunderstand.

“But for some reason, I keep getting an ominous feeling…” Yun Chang pondered with a frown. Just then a minor official came by.

“Oi! Come over here for a bit.”

On hearing me call him, the official jogged over.

“Un? What’s everyone doing here?”

“Maa, there’s something I want to ask…” Yi De said as she looked away. “What’s up with that Inspector? You’re an old hand here so tell us about her.”

“Lord Inspector? Isn’t she a pretty good person?” On mentioning the inspector, the official turned red instantly. “But Lord Liu, you really are lucky.”

“Eh? Lucky?”

I pointed at myself in confusion.

“Just one week after a.s.suming your role and it’s that Inspector who came. Judging from how it was this morning, she seems to favour you greatly so tonight she will most likely…”

“What?”

“Most likely what?!” Yun Chang asked with even greater anxiousness.

“That, that is, of course come to spend the night with you.”

On hearing that, I froze.

“Haa!?”

What kind of logic is this? And we only met once, could it be that love at first sight is real?

“Why does my big brother have to sleep with that b.i.t.c.h!”

“What is wrong with that woman! Why does our big brother have to sleep with her?!”

Similar words came from my angry little sisters, but why are these 2 so much more anxious than I am?

“General Guan, General Zhang, you all should have heard about bribing right.” The official said. Yi De and Yun Chang looked at each other and nodded. “Well then, that’s simple. Actually Lord Liu sleeping with the Inspector is a form of bribery, except you are giving your body instead of money.”

“”When is there such a thing!!”” This time it was the exact same words from both mouths.

“Isn’t it a good thing. That Inspector is so s.e.xy and beautiful. I would gladly offer myself up if I could.”

Why am I getting more and more scared the more I hear about this?

“Alright, go back to your business for now.” I quickly chased the official away as I could see my little sisters consumed by the flames of anger and was afraid he might be collateral damage.

“… I want to beat her up.” Yi De said in a low voice.

Ah… These words of Yi De are really dangerous and it feels like something is about to come true.

“No, we mustn’t use force as much as possible.” Yun Chang said as she ran her fingers through her hair. “But for the sake of protecting big brother, we have a duty to talk with her about this.”

Protect me? Protecting my virginity you mean?

“… Alright, I’ll do my best to solve this with words.” Yi De breathed in deeply, and out.

Just then, the Inspector’s room door opened and the still-sleepy inspector walked out.

Oh no, did she hear everything?

“Un?” She saw Yi De who was sitting on the stone rail outside her room and said completely without thinking, “Why is there a flat chest sitting here?”

Almost immediately I could hear the sound of a temple vein bursting.

“Escaping up to this far should be good enough.” I looked around and realised we couldn’t see Anxi county city anymore.

“Hai~~ In the end we resorted to violence.” Yun Chang rubbed her forehead. “Even though we agreed to use words to get our point across.”

“But, but… *s.h.i.+ku*… She said I was…” There were still trails of tears on Yi De’s face and she still hadn’t recovered from the trauma before. “And there was also a weapon lying conveniently around.”

“What is the matter? I was still having a nap when you all woke me up.” Only Hua Tuo was calm as she rubbed her eyes.

“… Hua Tuo, I have to ask. If I used such a thick whip on a person with barely any clothes, and in quick succession for over 10 times. How long will it take for that person’s wounds to recover?”

“Why are you asking this out of the blue? Un… Though there won’t be any issues, but such wounds would probably leave scars.”

Ah, that really is terrible.

Miss inspector, I’m so sorry. In a way, this could be said to be a necessary plot event. If I get another chance, sleeping together for one night is– No, nothing.

(TL: In the original, the inspector had been disrespectful to Liu Bei and had tried to get some commoners to accuse him of injustice and thus extract bribes from Liu Bei. These commoners refused and were whipped by the inspector. Zhang Fei got wind of this and whipped the inspector.)

“What now? We did manage to bring the few hundred troops we raised originally with us.” Yun Chang said to me.

I turned around to look, and saw familiar faces everywhere.

“We’ll do what we always have, walk first think–”

“Xuan De! ~~~~~”

“Un? Why do I hear someone calling me?”

“Xuan De? It really is you!” I looked back and saw a girl clad in white plate riding a white horse running over with a wide smile. The aura I felt from her was at complete odds with what she was wearing.

“You are…” She happily ran to me, and seemed to know me but I have no idea who she is.

“How could you have forgotten me? I’m Gong Sun Zan! Your childhood friend!”

(TL: In the original, they did study together as kids.)

“You are Gongsun Zan?!”

To think Gongsun Zan is a girl… Forget it, never mind.

“That’s right. Why, did I mature so much you couldn’t recognise me?”

“Haa…”

No, I really don’t know you. And speaking of maturity… You’re just like how you look, a young girl in her teens.

“Leave that aside first,” Her expression took a drastic turn very quickly. “Please help me Xuan De, I’m in trouble.”

“… I’ll ask first anyway, what is it?”

Upon hearing my question, Gongsun Zan’s tears streamed down.

“I’m being bullied by my brigadier general!”

On saying that, Gongsun Zan started wailing.

“… Oi oi oi.” I looked at her helplessly and couldn’t say a thing.

Though I don’t really know you, but being bullied by your subordinate to the extent that you’re crying is just… Too pathetic.

Un, I need to be a bit tactful in handling this.