The Queer, the Quaint and the Quizzical Part 12

_Dead Drunk for Twopence._

From the "Gentleman's Magazine" (1736), we learn that at some of the taverns where the poorer cla.s.ses drank to excess, the signs bore the following inscription: "_Drunk for a penny, dead drunk for twopence, clean straw for nothing._" This record gives reality to the inscription in Hogarth's print of "Gin-lane."

_How the Prophecy of the Destruction of Bath came About._

On the 30th of March, 1809, the destruction of the city of Bath was to have been effected by a convulsion of the earth, which should cause "Beaconhill to meet Beechen Cliff." This inauspicious juncture was said to have been foretold by an old woman who had derived her information from an angel. This reported prophecy rendered many of the inhabitants uneasy, and instigated crowds of visitors to quit the city. The portentous hour-twelve o'clock-pa.s.sed, and the believers were ashamed of their credulity. The alarm is said to have originated with two noted c.o.c.k-feeders, who lived near the before-mentioned hills; they had been at a public house, and, after much boasting on both sides, made a match to fight their favorite c.o.c.ks on Good Friday; but fearing the magistrates might interfere, if it became public, they named the c.o.c.ks after their respective walks, and in the agreement it was specified that "Mount Beacon would meet Beechen Cliff, precisely at 12 o'clock on Good Friday." The match was mentioned with cautions of secresy to their sporting friends, who repeated it in the same terms, and with the same caution, until it came to the ears of some credulous beings, who took the words in their plain sense; and, as stories seldom lose by being repeated, each added what fear or fancy framed, until the report became a marvellous prophecy, which in its intended sense was fulfilled; for the c.o.c.ks of Mount Beacon and Beechen Cliff met and fought, and left their hills behind them on their ancient sites, to the comfort and joy of mult.i.tudes who had been disturbed by the epidemical prediction.-_Hone._

_Drop-Letter Retort._

An old gentleman by the name of Page, having found a young lady's glove at a watering place, presented it to her with the following couplet:-

"If you from your glove take the letter G, Your glove leaves love, which I devote to thee."

To which the lady returned the following answer:-

"If from your page you take the letter P, Your page is age, and that won't do for me."

_Dean Swift's Marriage Ceremony._

Dean Swift was applied to, at a late hour on a stormy night, after he had gone to bed, by a run-away couple, to be married. He answered the call from his upper chamber window. He told them that as he was undressed, the weather very threatening, and they, he presumed, in a hurry, he would marry them as they stood. After asking the necessary questions, he said-

"Under this window, in stormy weather, I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder."

_Pious Guide-Posts._

In olden times the guide-posts not only pointed out the road, but furnished texts and maxims upon which to meditate. The following inscriptions were upon guide-posts in Devons.h.i.+re, England:-

_To Woodbury, Topsham, Exeter._-Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

_To Brixton, Ottery, Honiton._-O hold up our goings in thy paths, that our footsteps slip not.

_To Otterton, Sidmouth, A. D. 1743._-O that our ways were made to direct, that we might keep thy statutes.

_To Budleigh._-Make us to go in the paths of thy commandments, for therein is our desire.

_A Bogus Dragon._

A curious anecdote of Jacob Bobart, keeper of the physic garden of Oxford, England, occurs in one of Grey's notes to _Hudibras:_ "He made a dead rat resemble the common picture of a dragon, by altering its head and tail, and thrusting in taper sharp sticks, which distended the skin on each side till it resembled wings. He let it dry as hard as possible.

The learned immediately p.r.o.nounced it a dragon, and one of them sent an accurate description of it to Dr. Magliabecchi, librarian to the Grand Duke of Tuscany; several fine copies of verses were written on so rare a subject. At last Mr. Bobart owned the cheat; however, it was looked upon as a master-piece of art, and, as such, was deposited in the museum."

_Donation to a Fair._

On one occasion Oliver Wendell Holmes sent a letter to the post-office of a ladies' fair at Pittsfield. On the first page he wrote-

"Fair lady, whoso'er thou art, Turn this poor leaf with tenderest care, And hush, Oh hush, thy breathing heart- The _one_ thou lovest will be there."

On turning the "poor leaf" there was found a one dollar bill with the subjoined verse-

"Fair lady, lift thine eyes and tell If this is not a truthful letter?

This is the one (1) thou lovest well, And nought (0) can make thee love it better."

_Confectionery Decorations._

Probably the ancients exceeded us in the art of decorating confectionery. After each course in solemn feasts there was a "subtilty." Subtilties were representations of castles, giants, saints, knights, ladies and beasts, all raised in pastry, upon which legends and coat-armor were painted in their proper colors. At the festival, on the coronation of Henry VI., in 1429, there was a "subtilty" of St. Edward and St. Louis, "armed, and upon either his coat-armor, holding between them a figure of King Henry, standing also in his coat-armor, and an inscription pa.s.sing from both, saying, 'Beholde twoe perfecte kynges vnder one coate-armoure.'"-_Fabyan-Dallaway's Heraldic Inq._

_Superscription to a Letter._

A letter upon which the following was written, pa.s.sed through the Atlanta (Ga.) post-office:-

"Steal not this for fear of shame- There is no money in the same; True, it does a check contain, But 'tis for baggage on a train."

_In Search of a Looking-Gla.s.s._

"When I was last in Lisbon, a nun made her escape from the nunnery. The first thing for which she inquired, when she reached the house in which she was to be secreted, was a looking-gla.s.s. She had entered the convent when only five years old, and from that time had never seen her own face."-_Southey._

_Bleeding for Nothing._

"Whereas, the majority of Apothecaries in Boston have agreed to pull down the price of Bleeding to sixpence, let these certifie that Mr.

Richard Clarke, Apothecary, will bleed anybody at his shop, gratis."-_Stamford Mercury_, March 28th, 1716.

_An Astonished Lawyer._

A curious instance occurred of a witness confounding a counsel, at Gloucester, England, some years ago. The witness, on being asked his name, gave it as Ottiwell Woodd. The learned counsel did not seem to catch it, though it was several times p.r.o.nounced. "Spell it, sir, if you please," he said, somewhat angrily. The witness complied as follows: "O-double t-i-double you-e-double l-double you-double o-double d." The spelling confounded the lawyer more than ever, and in his confusion, amid the laughter of the court, he took the witness aside to help him to spell it after him.

_Duels Fought by Clergymen._

In England, in 1764, the Rev. Mr. Hill was killed in a duel by Cornet Gardener, of the carbineers. The Rev. Mr. Bates fought two duels, and was subsequently created a baronet, and preferred to a deanery after he had fought another duel. The Rev. Mr. Allen killed a Mr. Delany in a duel in Hyde Park, without incurring ecclesiastical censure, though the judge, on account of his extremely bad conduct, strongly charged his guilt upon the jury.

_A Singular Coincidence._

On the 13th of February, 1746, as the records of the French criminal jurisprudence inform us, one Jean Marie Dunbarry was brought to the scaffold for murdering his father; and, strangely enough, on the 13th of February, 1846, precisely one hundred years later, another Jean Marie Dunbarry, a great-grandson of the first-mentioned criminal, paid the same penalty for the same crime.

_Tavern Screens._

Centuries ago, the doors of taverns had an interior screen, similar to those in use at the present day. Lounging was just as much in vogue. In Clare's "Shepherd's Calender," we read-