Bring Me the Head of Prince Charming Part 13

"Claus here. Santa Claus."

"Yes, Mr. Claus. Are you authorized to speak to us here in Supply?"

"I guess you haven't heard of me," Santa Claus said. "I'm the one who brings presents around every December twenty-fifth by the new calendar."

"Oh,that Santa Claus! When do you start bringing pres-ents for demons?"

"I'm overworked enough bringing presents for humans," Santa Claus said. "I've got this problem-"

"Just a minute," the voice said. "I will connect you with the problems clerk."

Santa Claus sighed. He was on hold again. Then he noticed Ylith, who had just entered the room.

He blinked three times rapidly behind his little rectangular spectacles. "Goodness gracious! You're not a dwarf, are you?"

"No," Ylith said, "and I'm not a reindeer, either. But I'll give you a clue. I got here on a broomstick."

"Then you must be a witch!"

"You've got it."

"Are you going to bewitch me?" Santa asked, s...o...b..ring slightly as he perceived Ylith's charms, which had been brought into prominence by her windblown clothes. "I wouldn't mind being bewitched, you know. n.o.body ever thinks of bewitching Santa Claus. As if I don't need a little cheering up from time to time, eh? Who brings Santa Claus presents, eh? Ever think of that? It's give, give, give all the time around here. But what do I get out of it?"

"Satisfaction. You bask in everybody's love."

"It's the presents they love, not me."

"The giver is part of the given," Ylith said.

Santa Claus paused and considered. "Do you really think so?"

"How could it be any other way?"

"Well, that's better, then. Might I inquire what you are doing here? There's never anyone but dwarves and reindeer around here. And me, of course."

"I came," Ylith said, "because I need to pick up some packages that were left for me here."

"Packages? What kind of packages?"

"One male, one female. Both humans. Both frozen solid. The Harpies brought them here."

"Oh, those terrible Harpies!" Santa said. "They've left the snow yellow for miles around!"

"What about the frozen people?"

"They're out in back, in the woodshed."

"I'll pick them up now," Ylith said. "Oh, and one thing more. There's a little girl on Earth named Brigitte Scrivener."

"Little dirty-faced kid with a saucy manner? " Santa always remembered the children.

"That's her. What I'd like you to do is bring her a dollhouse this year. The sort you usually only give to princesses. Filled with moving figures, wallpaper, radios, and other magical things."

"This kid was real good, eh?"

"Goodness had nothing to do with it," Ylith said. "She got a promise from a demon and this is part of the payoff."

"Why isn't the demon himself here to get it?"

"He had other stuff to do. You know how demons are."

Santa Claus nodded. "Okay, she'll get the present. Do you want me to take special care to make sure it gets a bit of good luck in it?"

Ylith thought it over carefully. "No, just give her whatever comes up. The dollhouse is enough. She'll have to take her chances on the luck it'll bring her just like anyone else."

"Sagely put," Santa said. "Now, before you go, let me give you a present."

"What are you talking about?"

"This!" Santa cried, tearing at his nether clothing.

"Thanks all the same," Ylith said, fending him off easily, "but I really don't need your gift now. Keep it for some other lucky lady."

"But no one ever comes this way!" Santa said. "It's only elves and reindeer!"

"Tough!" Ylith went to the woodshed. She carried out the bodies of Charming and Scarlet. They were both frozen stiff as logs and heavy as sin. Ylith had to call on all her witch strength to lift them.

"Send me one of your witch friends!" Santa shouted. "Tell her I give presents!"

"I'll tell them," Ylith said. "Witches love presents." And then she rose into the air, bearing Scarlet and Charming, head-ing for Azzie's mansion in Augsburg as fast as she could fly.

Chapter 2

Azzie was pacing nervously in the back courtyard when Frike said to him, "I think that's her, master!" He was pointing into the eastern sky.

As Azzie watched, Ylith appeared, flying slowly with four broomsticks, and carrying the two frozen bodies by ropes sus-pended from them.

"Careful how you put them down!" Azzie shouted as she soared in for a landing.

"Don't tell a witch how to ride a broomstick," Ylith said, elegantly setting down her burden near the door to the alchem-ical laboratory.

"At last!" Azzie said, hurrying over to look at the couple. "Took your time about getting here, didn't you?"

"Thanks a lot!" Ylith said. "Go fetch your own bodies next time. And get your own eyes!"

Azzie instantly changed his manner. "I'm sorry, Ylith, but I really have to hurry up or I'll never get these two set up and rolling by contest time. I've gotten some more ichor. Let's stow Charming for the present and get Scarlet to the castle and animate her."

"Just as you wish," Ylith said.

"That's great," Azzie observed when they were done with the Prince. "Now I just hope everything is ready at the castle. We'll go there at once."

And so they did. Ylith carried Scarlet, still rigid with cold, and Azzie, utilizing his considerable flying powers, followed carrying Frike and a sack of provisions and spells he thought he'd need.

"Get that fire going!" Azzie said to Frike, later, when they had taken up residence in the enchanted castle. They were in an upper story, where a chamber had been prepared for Prin-cess Scarlet. First, of course, they had to animate her.

"Have you got the eyes?"Azzie asked.

"Right here," Ylith said. "I got this set from Chodlos, the artist who painted her as the Magdalene."

"And for Prince Charming?"

"The eyes of Skander, the dragon."

"Very nice," Azzie said. "Why is it still so cold in here?"

Frike had been stoking the big fireplace in the bedchamber for over an hour, and the place was still cold.

The stone walls seemed to absorb the heat. At this rate they'd never get Scarlet thawed out. They could see her in a rather distorted fas.h.i.+on through the bluish ice. Her features seemed to be at repose. Frike's st.i.tches were not too noticeable. The dancer's legs he had attached to the trunk of the Magdalene model were st.i.tched around the mid-thighs, but the st.i.tching looked like a garter. Frike had some surprising skills.

But why did she take so long to thaw out? Was there a magical spell on this ice? Azzie poked at the ice with his claws and found that it had barely softened.

The fire still wasn't hot enough. Azzie had requisitioned room-warming spells quite a while ago, but they still hadn't come through. He repeated his request now, using the unlimited credit card to ensure instant delivery. In a moment there was a soft explosion in the air and a brand-new warming spell fell into the room, neatly encased in its opaque eggsh.e.l.l.

"At last!" Azzie said, cracking the sh.e.l.l. The spell whooshed silently out and the room warmed up ten degrees almost at once.

"Now for the animating procedure," Azzie said after some thawing had occurred. "Quick, Frike, the ichor."

The servant hunched over the rec.u.mbent Princess and splashed ichor on her face.

"Now the animating spell," Azzie said, and recited it.

The composite creature whom they called Princess Scarlet lay still as death and as pale. Then a faint tremor pa.s.sed over her cheek. Her finely shaped lips moved and parted, and her little tongue came out to taste the ichor. Then her delicate nose widened, her body stirred, relaxed again.

"Quick," Azzie said. "Put in the eyes!"

The eyes fit into place easily. Another spell was necessary now, a vision-start-up spell, quite rare, but Supply had managed to find one. As Azzie chanted Princess Scarlet's eyelids flittered, fluttered, then lifted. Her new eyes, of deepest sapphire, gazed out at the world. Her face took on expression, animation. She looked around and gave a soft moan.

"Who are you all?" Scarlet said. Her voice was loud and snappish, and conveyed in addition a sense of peevishness. Azzie didn't like the sound of that. But luckily he didn't have to love her. That was Charming's task.

The Princess, a newly created being, had no memory. Now it was necessary to explain matters to her.

"Who are you?" Scarlet exclaimed again.

"Your uncle Azzie, of course," Azzie said. "You remember me, surely?"

"Oh, sure," Scarlet said, though of course she didn't. Death had wiped her mind of its memories, the good and the bad alike, and returned her to the world a tabula rasa.

"What's going on, Uncle Azzie? Where's Mummy?"

That had been an expected question. All living creatures a.s.sume they had a mother and never take it into their heads that someone might have sewn them together out of a collection of parts.

"Mummy and Daddy,"Azzie said, "which is to say, Their Royal Highnesses, are under an enchantment."

"Did you say 'Royal Highnesses'?"

"Yes, my dear. You, of course, are a princess. Princess Scarlet. You want to release your parents from their spell, don't you?"

"What? Oh, sure," Princess Scarlet said. "So I'm a prin-cess!"

"They can be released," Azzie said, "only after you have been rescued from your own enchantment."

"I'm under an enchantment?"

"That is correct, my dear."

"Well-take it away, then!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Azzie said. "I'm not the right person."

"Oh. What sort of a spell am I under?"

"You are under a sleeping spell. You spend twenty-some hours a day either sleeping or napping. They call you the Nap-ping Princess. Only one man can break the spell. That is Prince Charming."

"Prince Charming? Who's that?"

"n.o.body you've met before, my dear. Prince Charming is a fine, handsome young man of n.o.ble family who has just re-cently heard of your plight. He is on his way here to awaken you with a kiss and take you away to a life of bliss."

Scarlet considered. "It sounds good. But are you sure I'm not dreaming this?"

"This is not a dream, except in the sense that all experience, waking or sleeping, living or dead, is possibly a dream. But leaving metaphysics aside, this is real and you have been en-chanted into sleeping.

Believe me, trust me on this. Obviously you aren't asleep at the moment, because I need to talk to you and advise you on a few things."

"Maybe the spell isn't working," Scarlet said.

"I'm afraid it is," Azzie said, surrept.i.tiously taking out the sleep spell from his pouch and pressing the little pin that ac-tivated it.

Scarlet yawned. "You're right, Iam sleepy. But I haven't even had dinner!"

"We'll have it ready for you when you awaken," Azzie said.

The Princess' eyes closed and soon she was in a sound sleep. Azzie, under the watchful eye of Ylith, carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in.