Jokes Book Collection Part Viii Part 26

Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in the jungle.

You pushed open the door, in front of you were 5 small beds to the right of the hut,and another 5 small chairs surrounding a small round table. In the middle of the table was a round food tray with 5 kinds of fruit in it.

There are: a. apple b. banana c. strawberry d. peach e. orange

Which fruit will u choose?

Your choice reveals about u!

test results : Please SCROLL DOWN

a. if you chosen apple: that means you are a person who loves to eat apple

b. if you chosen banana: that means you are a person who loves to eat banana

c. if you chosen strawberry: that means you are a person who loves to eat strawberry

d. if you chosen peach: that means you are a person who loves to eat peach

e. if you chosen orange: that means you are a person who loves to eat orange I bet u r hunting for me...well well...I am still hunting for the person who sent me this...!!!!!

Word Play: The only nation who's name begins with an "A", but doesn't end in an "A" is Afghanistan.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt."

The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is "uncopyrightable"..

The longest word in the English language that can be typed using only the right hand is "lollipop".

The longest word in the English language that can be typed using only the left hand is "stewardesses".

"Maine" is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with "month", "orange", "silver" or "purple".

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

The combination "ough" can be p.r.o.nounced in eight different ways. The following sentence contains them all: "A dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed."

The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate.

Facetious and abstemious contain all the vowels in the correct order, as does a.r.s.enious, meaning "containing a.r.s.enic."

"Go!" is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

In English, "four" is the only digit that has the same number of letters as its value.

The longest English word consisting entirely of consonants (and not including "y" as a vowel) is the word "crwth" which is from the fourteenth century and means crowd.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/twx communications) The highest scoring word in the English language game of Scrabble is 'Quartzy.' This will score 164 points if played across a red triple-word square with the Z on a light blue double-letter square. It will score 162 points if played across two pink doubleword squares with the Q and the Y on those squares. 'Bezique' and Cazique' are next with a possible 161 points. All three words score an extra 50 points for having seven letters and therefore emptying the letter rack in one go.

Words of a woman!

KEYWORDS AND THEIR MEANINGS:

FINE.

This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about it but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES.

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING.

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows).

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows).

This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH.

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH.

Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH.

This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.

"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised yebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS.

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT.

This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"

when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?"

Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closed her eyes when you lay her down on the couch."

Hi, hope u enjoy this...

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls d.i.c.k Cheney and says, "d.i.c.k, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you." So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."