The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 101

_Car._ I mean, Sir, what's your Name, and which of you is _Haunce van Ezel_?

_Hau._ Ay, which of us is _Haunce van Ezel_? tell us that, Sir; we shall handle ye i'faith now--

_Alon._ He, Sir, can best inform you. [Pointing to _Haunce_.

_Hau._ Who, I! I know no more than the great Turk, not I, which of us is me; my Hat, my Feather, my Suit, and my Garniture all over, faith now; and I believe this is me, for I'll trust my Eyes before any other Sense about me. What say'st thou now, _Gload_? guess which of us is thy own natural Master now if thou canst.

_Glo._ Which, Sir?-- why-- let me see-- let me see, [Turns them both about.

fakes, I cannot tell, Sir.

_Car._ Come, come, the Cheat is plain, and I'll not be fobb'd off, therefore tell me who you are, Sir.

[To _Alonzo_.

_Alon._ One that was very unwilling to have put this Trick upon you, if I could have persuaded _Euphemia_ to have been kind on any other Terms, but nothing would down with her but Matrimony.

_Car._ How long have you known her?

_Alon._ Faith, Sir, too long by at least an Hour.

_Car._ I say again, what are you, Sir?

_Alon._ A Man I am, and they call me _Alonzo_.

_Car._ How! I hope not the great fighting Colonel whom my Son serv'd as a Voluntier in _Flanders_.

_Alon._ Even he, Sir.

_Car._ Worse and worse, I shall grow mad, to think that in spite of all my Care, _Euphemia_ should marry with so notorious a Man of War.

_Hau._ How! is this _Alonzo_, and am I cozen'd? pray tell me truly, are you not me indeed?

_Alon._ All over, Sir, only the inside a little less Fool.

_Hau._ So here's fine juggling-- are not you a rare Lady, hah?

[To _Euphemia_; crys.

_Euph._ I a.s.sure you, Sir, if this Man had not past for you, I had never had him.

_Hau._ Had him! Oh, you are a flattering thing, I durst ha' sworn you could no more ha' been without me, than a Barber's Shop without a Fiddle, so I did: Oh, what a d.a.m.nable Voyage have I back again without a Wife too-- [Crys again.

_Lov._ If that be all, we'll get you one before you go; that shall be my care.

_Hau._ A Pox of your care: well, I will get my self most soundly drunk to Night, to be reveng'd of these two d.a.m.nable Dons. Come, _Gload_, let us about something in order to't.

[Exit with _Gload_.

_Euph._ Pray, Sir, be persuaded, he's worth your owning.

_Car._ Tell not me of owning; what Fortune has he?

_Lov._ His Horse and Arms, the Favour of his Prince, and his Pay.

_Car._ His Horse and Arms I wholly dislike, as Implements of War; and that same Princely Favour, as you call it, will buy no Lands; and his Pay he shall have when he can get it.

_Lov._ But, Sir, his coming to _Madrid_ was to take possession of a Place the Prince has promis'd him.

_Car._ Has promis'd him? what! I shall marry my Daughter to the Promises of e'er a Prince in _Christendom_, shall I? No, no; Promises, quoth ye?

_Alon._ Well, Sir, will this satisfy you?

[Gives him a Parchment.

_Euph._ If it should not, let us consider what next to do.

_Alon._ No consideration, _Euphemia_; not so much as that we are married, lest it lessen our Joys.

_Car._ Twelve thousand Crowns a Year!-- Sir, I cry you mercy, and wish you joy with my Daughter.

_Lov._ So his Courage will down with him now.

_Alon._ To satisfy you farther, Sir, read this.

[Gives him another Paper.

And now, _Euphemia_, prepare your self to receive some gallant Friends of mine, whom you must be acquainted with, and who design to make a merry Night on't.

_Euph._ A whole Night, _Alonzo_?

_Alon._ By no means, _Euphemia_, for the first too, which if the thoughts of its being part of my Duty do not hinder, will be a pleasant enough to me.

_Car._ So considerable an Office at Court too!-- Let me imbrace you, Sir; and tell you how happy I am in so brave Son-in-law.

_Alon._ With that a.s.surance, Sir, I'll take a more than ordinary freedom with you, and teach _Euphemia_ a franker way of living, than what a native _Spaniard_ would have allow'd her.

_Car._ She shall be what sort of Wife you'll have her.

Enter Servant, after a noise of Musick.

_Alon._ What Musick's that?

_Serv._ It waits upon some Ladies and Gentlemen who ask for you, Sir.

_Alon._ Wait them in, they are those Friends of mine I told you of.

[He goes and brings them in.

Enter _Marcel_ and _Clarinda_, _Silvio_ and _Cleonte_, _Antonio_ and _Hippolyta_, _Dormida_ and _Francisca_; all salute _Euphemia_.

Enter _Haunce_ and _Gload_ in Masquerade to the Company, _Olinda_ and _Dorice_ masked.

_Hau._ Well, the Devil's in't if we shall not appear ridiculous enough, hah, _Gload_?

_Glo._ Ay, Sir, the more ridiculous the better.