The Works of Aphra Behn Volume I Part 27

_Ned Blunt, Ned, Ned_-- [and knocking within.

_Belv._ Why, he's dead, Sir, without dispute dead, he has not been seen to day; let's break open the Door-- here-- Boy--

_Blunt._ Ha, break open the Door! 'dsheartlikins that mad Fellow will be as good as his word.

_Belv._ Boy, bring something to force the Door.

[A great noise within at the Door again.

_Blunt._ So, now must I speak in my own Defence, I'll try what Rhetorick will do-- hold-- hold, what do you mean, Gentlemen, what do you mean?

_Belv._ Oh Rogue, art alive? prithee open the Door, and convince us.

_Blunt._ Yes, I am alive, Gentlemen-- but at present a little busy.

_Belv._ How! _Blunt_ grown a man of Business! come, come, open, and let's see this Miracle.

[within.

_Blunt._ No, no, no, no, Gentlemen, 'tis no great Business-- but-- I am-- at-- my Devotion,-- 'dsheartlikins, will you not allow a man time to pray?

_Belv._ Turn'd religious! a greater Wonder than the first, therefore open quickly, or we shall unhinge, we shall.

[within.

_Blunt._ This won't do-- Why, hark ye, Colonel; to tell you the plain Truth, I am about a necessary Affair of Life.-- I have a Wench with me-- you apprehend me? the Devil's in't if they be so uncivil as to disturb me now.

_Will._ How, a Wench! Nay, then we must enter and partake; no Resistance,-- unless it be your Lady of Quality, and then we'll keep our distance.

_Blunt._ So, the Business is out.

_Will._ Come, come, lend more hands to the Door,-- now heave altogether-- so, well done, my Boys-- [Breaks open the Door.

Enter _Belvile_, _Willmore_, _Fred._ _Pedro_ and _Belvile's_ Page: _Blunt_ looks simply, they all laugh at him, he lays his hand on his Sword, and conies up to _Willmore_.

_Blunt._ Hark ye, Sir, laugh out your laugh quickly, d'ye hear, and be gone, I shall spoil your sport else; 'dsheartlikins, Sir, I shall-- the Jest has been carried on too long,-- a Plague upon my Taylor-- [Aside.

_Will._ 'Sdeath, how the Wh.o.r.e has drest him! Faith, Sir, I'm sorry.

_Blunt._ Are you so, Sir? keep't to your self then, Sir, I advise you, d'ye hear? for I can as little endure your Pity as his Mirth.

[Lays his Hand on's Sword.

_Belv._ Indeed, _Willmore_, thou wert a little too rough with _Ned Blunt's_ Mistress; call a Person of Quality Wh.o.r.e, and one so young, so handsome, and so eloquent!-- ha, ha, ha.

_Blunt._ Hark ye, Sir, you know me, and know I can be angry; have a care-- for 'dsheartlikins I can fight too-- I can, Sir,-- do you mark me-- no more.

_Belv._ Why so peevish, good _Ned_? some Disappointments, I'll warrant-- What! did the jealous Count her Husband return just in the nick?

_Blunt._ Or the Devil, Sir,-- d'ye laugh? [They laugh.] Look ye, settle me a good sober Countenance, and that quickly too, or you shall know _Ned Blunt_ is not--

_Belv._ Not every Body, we know that.

_Blunt._ Not an a.s.s, to be laught at, Sir.

_Will._ Unconscionable Sinner, to bring a Lover so near his Happiness, a vigorous pa.s.sionate Lover, and then not only cheat him of his Moveables, but his Desires too.

_Belv._ Ah, Sir, a Mistress is a Trifle with _Blunt_, he'll have a dozen the next time he looks abroad; his Eyes have Charms not to be resisted: There needs no more than to expose that taking Person to the view of the Fair, and he leads 'em all in Triumph.

_Ped._ Sir, tho I'm a stranger to you, I'm ashamed at the rudeness of my Nation; and could you learn who did it, would a.s.sist you to make an Example of 'em.

_Blunt._ Why, ay, there's one speaks sense now, and handsomly; and let me tell you Gentlemen, I should not have shew'd my self like a Jack-Pudding, thus to have made you Mirth, but that I have revenge within my power; for know, I have got into my possession a Female, who had better have fallen under any Curse, than the Ruin I design her: 'dsheartlikins, she a.s.saulted me here in my own Lodgings, and had doubtless committed a Rape upon me, had not this Sword defended me.

_Fred._ I knew not that, but o' my Conscience thou hadst ravisht her, had she not redeem'd her self with a Ring-- let's see't, _Blunt_.

[_Blunt_ shews the Ring.

_Belv._ Hah!-- the Ring I gave _Florinda_ when we exchang'd our Vows!-- hark ye, _Blunt_-- [Goes to whisper to him.

_Will._ No whispering, good Colonel, there's a Woman in the case, no whispering.

_Belv._ Hark ye, Fool, be advis'd, and conceal both the Ring and the Story, for your Reputation's sake; don't let People know what despis'd Cullies we _English_ are: to be cheated and abus'd by one Wh.o.r.e, and another rather bribe thee than be kind to thee, is an Infamy to our Nation.

_Will._ Come, come, where's the Wench? we'll see her, let her be what she will, we'll see her.

_Ped._ Ay, ay, let us see her, I can soon discover whether she be of Quality, or for your Diversion.

_Blunt._ She's in _Fred's_ Custody.

_Will._ Come, come, the Key.

[To _Fred._ who gives him the Key, they are going.

_Belv._ Death! what shall I do?-- stay, Gentlemen-- yet if I hinder 'em, I shall discover all-- hold, let's go one at once-- give me the Key.

_Will._ Nay, hold there, Colonel, I'll go first.

_Fred._ Nay, no Dispute, _Ned_ and I have the property of her.

_Will._ d.a.m.n Property-- then we'll draw Cuts. [_Belv._ goes to whisper _Will._] Nay, no Corruption, good Colonel: come, the longest Sword carries her.-- [They all draw, forgetting Don _Pedro_, being a Spaniard, had the longest.

_Blunt._ I yield up my Interest to you Gentlemen, and that will be Revenge sufficient.

_Will._ The Wench is yours-- (_To _Ped.__) Pox of his _Toledo_, I had forgot that.

_Fred._ Come, Sir, I'll conduct you to the Lady.

[Ex. _Fred._ and _Ped._

_Belv._ To hinder him will certainly discover-- [Aside.] Dost know, dull Beast, what Mischief thou hast done?

[_Will._ walking up and down out of Humour.

_Will._ Ay, ay, to trust our Fortune to Lots, a Devil on't, 'twas madness, that's the Truth on't.

_Belv._ Oh intolerable Sot!