The Art of Amusing Part 10

This chapter we shall devote exclusively to a little play, written expressly for parlor performance. The characters are so few, and the materials--in the way of dress and scenery--so simple, that it can be easily gotten up in any household. In the full-page picture you will see our idea of the "make-up" of the Artist, but as Mr. Bullywingle does not come out so well on so small a scale, we annex a picture of his head and shoulders as a guide to the reader. We feel disposed, however, to allow the largest lat.i.tude to the performers as to make-up. They can modify the dress of the characters according to circ.u.mstances. Another reason we have for giving the portrait of Mr. Bullywingle is, that a large copy of it is required in the performance of the piece. In copying this it is no matter how ludicrously inaccurate your performance is, provided you make the face fiery red, the hair white, and the spectacles green.

Indeed, the worse the picture the funnier the effect.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

_Mr. Bullywingle._--Hat--white, with black band. Face very red, culminating in a bright crimson on the nose. The face should be colored with vermilion, which can be procured in a powdered state at any color store. If you get it in this state mix it with water, to which add a very small quant.i.ty of gum or glue. The best plan, however, is, if convenient, to purchase a cake of vermilion such as is used for water-colors.

Hair, eyebrows, and moustache must be very white. The hair and moustache can be made white by dressing with plenty of pomatum, and then sprinkling them liberally with flour from the flour dredger. The imperial and eyebrows should be painted on the face with flake-white.

Procure two ounces of flake-white (in powder) in any paint store; mix it carefully with water till it is about as thick as mola.s.ses. A small piece of glue, about the weight of two beans, should be dissolved in the water before it is added to the flake-white.

Spectacles--green, which you can either borrow from a friend, buy at a store, or steal anywhere. If, however, you are too proud to steal, and you cannot get the specs any other way, you may cut them out of card-board and paint the proper color. As Mr. Bullywingle wears his specs on the end of his nose, never using them to look through, it is of little consequence whether they be transparent or not.

Cravat--large and white.

s.h.i.+rt collar--large; can be cut out of writing-paper.

Coat--blue, with gilt b.u.t.tons.

Vest and pants--light; the latter short in the legs.

Shoes--low.

_Mr. Puttyblow_ (the artist).--Nose red; eyebrows black, and painted above the natural eyebrows. This gives the eyebrows a continued elevated appearance, which is very comical in effect.

The moustache and beard can either be painted with burnt cork or India-ink, or, which is far better, made out of curled hair and a little diachylon, as described in a previous chapter. If you wish to make the character very comic, you can turn up the nose with a piece of thread and stick a patch of court-plaster over one of your teeth, all of which has been described in earlier chapters.

Cap--something fancy, of bright color if possible.

Coat--anything comical and shabby. The young man is poor.

Pants--short in the legs.

_Miss MacSlasher_ must be attired in walking costume, and make herself look as elegant and pretty as possible. Or in case the ladies won't act, or you happen to be out of pretty girls, you can get Miss MacSlasher up as an old lady, and make her look as comical as you can. You see our play is on a compensating, self-adjusting principle. Now we will give you a list of all the things you will require in the way of "properties," as they are called in stage parlance. Before doing so, however, we must impress upon you the necessity of having a stage manager, otherwise you will surely get into a state of confusion and spoil the play. It is the duty of the stage-manager to collect the properties together and see that they are all in their right places. He will arrange the stage, and, if desirable, act as prompter.

Vermilion--To be procured at a paint store.

Flake-white and green paint--paint store.

Card-board for imitation spectacles, and glue--paint store.

Three or four camel's-hair pencils--paint store.

India-ink or burnt cork.

Pomatum, b.u.t.ter or lard for hair.

Ten cents' worth of diachylon (in lump form, not plaster--remember this; also remember that the diachylon must be warmed before the fire to make it stick), which can be had at any drug store.

Flour for hair can be procured from the kitchen, if the barrel ain't gin' out.

Green spectacles.

White cravat and large s.h.i.+rt-collar.

Blue or green coat, with bright b.u.t.tons.

Vest and pantaloons, light in color.

Small piece of court-plaster or black silk, for tooth.

Curled hair from stuffing of mattresses.

Cap for artist, of bright color.

Coat for artist.

Pants for ditto, legs short.

Slippers for ditto.

Large portrait of Mr. Bullywingle.

Easel or stand for portrait.

Palette (the palette should be cut out of pasteboard, the cover of a large book, or something of that kind--a wooden palette would break when sat upon); a maul-stick and brushes, pictures, casts, etc., to give the artist's studio an artistic appearance.

Stale hard loaf of bread.

Knife--palette knife if possible.

Tray with two cups.

Tea-pot containing very weak tea.

Plates, b.u.t.ter, and pieces of crockery, to make a clatter.

Sheets, comfortable, shawls, or Turkey-red, to make proscenium and drop-curtain.

Several sheets of tissue-paper, red and blue, to ornament proscenium.

Lamps to light the stage.

Deeds and legal doc.u.ments for Mr. Bullywingle.

Umbrella for Mrs. Bullywingle.

White hat with black band.

Towels, or rags, to cover and conceal artist's breakfast on a chair.