The Art of Amusing Part 20

To ladies, who as a general rule have not the organ of calculation very largely developed, this will usually prove a poser. As the problem is to be solved by patience and study, we will leave them to do it, _or give it up_, and proceed to the next

PROBLEM.

A gentleman sent his servant with a present of nine ducks in a box, upon which was the following direction:--

"To Alderman Gobble with IX. ducks."

The servant, who had more ingenuity than honesty, purloined three of the ducks, and contrived it so that the number contained in the box corresponded with that upon the direction. As he neither erased any word or letter, nor subst.i.tuted a new direction, how did he so alter it as to correspond with the contents of the box?

The dishonest but ingenious servant simply placed the letter S before the two Roman numerals, IX. The direction then read thus:

"To Alderman Gobble, with SIX ducks."

It will be seen that this problem is very easy of solution to every one, save Artemus Ward, who would spell it _Sicks dux in a bocks_.

Here is one, however, which would suit the taste, if not the ability, of the great showman to a nicety:

PROBLEM.

To distribute among three persons twenty-one casks of wine, seven of them full, seven of them empty, and seven of them half full; so that each of them shall have the same quant.i.ty of wine, and the same number of casks.

This problem admits of two solutions, which may be clearly comprehended by means of the two following tables:

FIRST SOLUTION.

_Persons._ _Full casks._ _Empty._ _Half full._ 1 2 2 3 2 2 2 3 3 3 3 1

SECOND SOLUTION.

_Persons._ _Full casks._ _Empty._ _Half full._ 1 3 3 1 2 3 3 1 3 1 1 5

One more problem, and we shall have had enough mathematics for one chapter.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

A figure similar to the preceding can be formed without removing the pencil from the paper, without crossing any line or retracing any part.

Now set to work and do it.

If you do not succeed, you may refer to the annexed diagram and solution.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

Draw a line from 1 to 2, 2 to 3, 3 to 4, 4 to 5, 5 to 6, 6 to 1, 1 to 7, 7 to 8, 8 to 9, 9 to 3, 3 to 10, and 10 to 1.

CHAPTER XXV.

We have observed that Tableaux and Charades run in some families, and that these families are always ready to spend any amount of time and money to carry out their favorite ideas; we cannot help feeling considerable admiration for any one having some honest enthusiasm for any amus.e.m.e.nt in this toiling age of ours. But our mission is not to deal much with the costly or complicated. Those who wish to produce tableaux from Waverley or the Bride of Abydos, who desire to attire themselves as Mary Queen of Scots, Di Vernon, or Dolly Varden, we leave to their own devices, giving only our best wishes. There are, however, charades to be got up on the spur of the moment, which are not less entertaining than the more elaborate performances to which we allude. We will mention one or two which have come under our observation during a chequered existence; they may serve to give the key-note, if nothing more.

On the occasion of a certain impromptu party, the lady of the house begged some of her guests to get up _something_ which would entertain the rest, some charades, or what not. Two gentlemen consulted for a moment, and then took up their positions in the back of the parlor, which represented the stage. One sat down to read, whilst the other crept up slyly behind him, and much to his dismay turned off the gas.

They then both rose and declared the charade completed, leaving it to the audience to divine the answer. Whether any one guessed it or not we do not know--but the answer was Gastric--Gas-trick.

Another gentleman then stepped into the stage, with a large hat at the back of his head, and began calling--"Mooley, mooley, mooley; com, com, mooley. Where kin that keow a poked herself now? she's allers a concealing of herself somewheres or another--mooley," etc.,

His riddle was now concluded, and he desired the audience to give him the answer.

The answer was _Cow-hiding_.

A famous physician and wit was the next to come forward, accompanied by a friend. They took positions in opposite corners of the room, advanced towards each other, and as they pa.s.sed, the friend said to the doctor, "How do, Doctor?" To the surprise of all, they declared the charade completed. No one could guess it, of course; the answer was _metaphysician_, met-a-physician.

Again they took their positions precisely as before, announcing that they were about to give another charade. Again they walked across the room, and as they pa.s.sed, one said to the other, "How do, again?" This was the conclusion of the second charade; quite as puzzling as the first, only more so. The answer was _metaphor_--met-afore. This absurdity was received with roars of laughter and thunders of applause.

Charades of this kind, we are inclined to think, give more real pleasure after all, than the studied, costly elaborations. They are perhaps not so pretty; but, ye G.o.ds! where there are pretty women, what else could mortal man desire in the way of beauty!

CHAPTER XXVI.

A certain young lady with whom we are acquainted has discovered a new art, which seems to absorb a great portion of her being. It is a method by which almost anything may be trans.m.u.ted into coral. The consequence of this discovery is that the English-bas.e.m.e.nt house in which the maid in question dwells, is converted into a perfect mermaid's grotto. We told her so the other day, since which she has called us her Triton; and further intimated that in order to preserve the fitness of things, we might invite her to an oyster supper at Delmonico's. This hint we took with the avidity of a pickerel; but alas for the fickleness of woman, and our visions of marine happiness, the damsel changed her position and absolutely declined accepting our hospitality, even to the extent of a shrimp.

It is marvellous what very poor jokes afford rich amus.e.m.e.nt, when they are pa.s.sed amongst intimate friends. When we called the lady in question, South Coral-ina, every one present seemed quite amused; indeed only one person, an obnoxious individual with large whiskers, seemed to resent it at all:--but now that the t.i.tle by frequent repet.i.tion has a.s.sumed the character of a nickname, it is always received as an exquisite piece of humor. Numerous ramifications of this subject afford us endless themes for badinage.

We profess to ridicule the idea that involuntary servitude is abolished, when South Coral-ina holds ourselves and so many others in slavery. She retorts by calling us Neptune, and asking after the telegraph cable.

When this badinage had been going on for some time, our friend Nix played quite a pretty hoax on the ladies. He arrived one evening with a somewhat dirty-looking basket on his arm filled with oysters. This was rather an inelegant thing to bring into the parlor, and naturally excited some surprise; but when he began to take out the grimy-looking bivalves, and one by one, hand them round to the ladies, there was a commotion bordering on indignation; the first lady declined to receive so plebeian a gift, whereupon Nix took a penknife from his pocket and opened it; revealing the inside lined with rich velvet, and bearing some trinket made of gold and pearls. This was in payment of a bet of an oyster supper which he had playfully made with and purposely lost to one of the ladies.

But to revert to our Coral. We often aided the fair mermaid in her manufactures, making sprays of coral nearly as large as in currant bushes, coral walking-canes, coral ear-rings, pen racks, paper weights, and other useful articles. We converted into coral--walnuts, small mud-turtles, birds' claws, sea-sh.e.l.ls, and indeed almost everything on which we could lay our hands. Finally we took paterfamilias' felt hat one night and gave it a couple of coats of scarlet varnish, much to the astonishment of that good gentleman when he wished to put it on next morning.

The mode of making these coral ornaments is, of course, very simple; otherwise it would not find a place in this book:

RECEIPT.

To two drachms of fine vermilion, add one ounce of clear resin, and melt them together; paint the object with this mixture while hot, and then hold it over a gentle fire till it is perfectly covered and smooth.

To make sprays of coral you should procure some twigs of thorn; peel and dry, before painting with the varnish.

The Nix gift of pearls has set all the ladies to work on a new idea--painting pictures in oil-colors on the inside of oyster sh.e.l.ls; these are mostly marine subjects where the natural hues of the sh.e.l.l supply the requisite tints for the clouds and water. One of these little works represented a fish, where the sheen of the mother-of-pearl gave a marvellously natural effect to the scales and gills.

They have also taken to making pictures on egg-sh.e.l.ls in water-colors, which are very pretty. One egg they tattooed all over with pen-and-ink arabesque, and emblazoned with crimson and gold. It looks very handsome, though possibly of not quite so much practical use as a locomotive or a reaping-machine. Still, let us always remember that quotation from Goethe:

"_Encourage the beautiful, the useful will take care of itself!_"