A Match Made in Heaven Chapter 48

To be exact, even though Li Choayang could be considered as ‘woke up', she actually wasn't that fully awoke yet.

According to the antidote formula provided by the Great Monk, there were countless medicinal herbs in it with most of them were almost unheard of by Lu Qianqiao. Nevertheless, he had just asked Lord Meishan to take care of all the herbs ingredients for the antidote. The herbs were decocted daily in a giant tripod, and then the person who was cursed would be soaked in the medicine juice—though no one knew how long the cursed person should be soaked. Just like any other war demon, Lu Chaoyang had rough and thick skin. However, in recent months, her skin started to wrinkle and turned into yellow colour since the medicine juice was yellow in colour.

A Chinese vat looks like this.
Image Credit   via Wiki

When Lu Qianqiao arrived, she was curled up in a big vat filled with medicine juice as she was frowning and groaning. Her eyes were tightly closed and her facial expression was ever-changing.
The war demons from the Li family also crowded the room, with their eyes not even blinking once, as they just stared at her.

It was hard for them to see Li Chaoyang looking like this.

She was born in a n.o.ble family of war demon, thus she was taught to be strict and self-disciplined since she was a child and seldom talked or laughed like any other children. When she was 25 years old, she achieved a perfect war demon body, and from then on, she rarely frowned. It was hard to imagine Li Chaoyang having such rich expressions just like what she had shown right now.

Her brows were frowning tightly right now, as if she was encountering something extremely difficult to decide in her dream. After a moment, the corners of her lips suddenly raised, and she started to smile.

She was smiling happily.

Li Min and the others didn't dare to come out in this kind of atmosphere.

A snow-white sheet was suddenly laid down, covering the vat full of medicine juice. Lu Qianqiao bent down to lean on the side of the vat as he swept away the sticky wet hairs on her forehead and whispered, "Everybody out."

No matter how reluctant they were, Lu Qianqiao after all, was the person who nearly had war demon perfect body in the clan after his mother. War demons who had a fanatical admiration for power would never rebel against him, so now they obediently walked out of the room and closed the door gently.

Lu Qianqiao brought over a bucket of clean water. He untied her tangled long hair, carefully scrubbed it, and clumsily spread it opened with a horn comb.　

She would smile at one time, then frowned. Other time she would mourn and at the end, she finally felt relieved.

Did she just dream of the most brilliant twists and turns in her life?

He did not know much about the relations.h.i.+p between his parents. When he was very young, he had heard that the elder members of his family were not optimistic about their marriage. Somehow, later on, she killed Lu Jingran and returned to the clan by herself. She then dismissed all vulnerable feelings that she had of that man and from that moment, each of the mother and son were in a different corner of the worldChinese idiom : far apart from each other¹. .

Maybe…maybe, she and Lu Jingran also had a sweet moments like he and Xin Mei had. Unlike him, the 17-year-old Li Chaoyang was more direct and warm in giving her affection. She had never even considered about her future as she single-mindedly married the man she liked. At first, she must have also been very happy.

It was a pity that this trifling life had wasted this happiness. Maybe at that moment when she turned into a perfect war demon and killed Liu Jingran, her heart felt kind of relieved. However, she just lost to her murderous instinct, so all that remained was only emptiness and vague regret after she did some serious liberation.

Therefore, she did not want her only son to follow the same path as her?

Lu Qianqiao gently wiped her wet cheeks with a soft cloth. Suddenly, he could feel her eyelashes quivered, followed by two drops of bean-sized tears rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes that had been closed for nearly half a year, finally opened.

His movements immediately stop.

Two pair of eyes silently gazed at each other.

“Qianqiao.”

It had been a long time since the last time Li Chaoyang had spoke, so her voice was hoa.r.s.e and dry. For the first time ever, she looked at him with a smile, though there was also a little bit of sadness and tiredness in that smile of her.

“I just dreamed of your father.”

Lu Qianqiao grabbed a lock of her wet hair and continued to comb it. “…what did he say to you?”

“He said, it seems like you have something to ask me, so he will have to wait a bit longer for me.”

She looked vaguely into the unknown distance and blinked in bewilderment.

“I feel very happy to see him again.”

Lu Qianqiao raised his eyes in astonishment when he heard the word ‘happy' came out from her mouth. It was indeed beyond logic and above reasonChinese idiom : inconceivable².

Li Chaoyang propped herself up in the vat, but she was too weak to even stand up. He raised his hand to help but she stopped him by holding his wrist instead. She said, “The mahogany cabinet on the east side, inside the third drawer on the right hand. Bring out its contents.”

He opened the drawer in accordance with her words, and inside the drawer, there was a purple brocade box. Two wax-coated pills in the size of chicken eggs were sealed inside the brocade box. There were bright golden lights flowing inside the pills and there were also a faint fragrance came out from them.

He sent the wax pills over, but Li Chaoyang just shook her head.

"These are the last rewards left by the G.o.ds...those that I and the Li family have wors.h.i.+p from generation to generation. Only when we are facing the most difficult time will we dare to enjoy them. On that day, when you failed your transformation, the Fox Clan came to provoke me. I was thinking of taking those pills as a way to dismiss this predicament. However...and how fortunate that I didn't need to use them."

There was a man still waiting for her at the waterside of River of Forgetfulness, time after time, day after day, month after month, year after year. There was unlikely for her to exchange an eternal immortal life for his waits and nothing could change her mind.

“My body still needs to rest a few years to be fully recover. Qianqiao, today, I officially hand to you these two small red pills. I hope…you'll never need to use it for the rest of your life.”

Lu Qianqiao bowed his head and smiled. He put the two pills inside the clothes on his chest. “I'll help you up.”

The curse that was put on Li Chaoyang was extremely vicious and overbearing, plus she had to be soaked in medicine juice for nearly half a year to get rid of it. No matter how tough one body was, one couldn't endure this kind of ordeal. In a year or two, she wouldn't be able to recover the elegant demeanour of a former perfect war demon. That Great Monk must have calculated this too, right? Although she was not really being killed, this could still stall her for a few years, giving the Fox Clan a chance to breathe, or perhaps to give the two clans a chance to calm down.

When the Li family members learned that Li Chaoyang had woken up, they were filled with joy. This also made the other big families among the war demons rejoiced, thus making the cold atmosphere surrounding the War Demon Clan diluted a lot.

After she hurriedly washed clean the sticky medicine juice from her body, she became extremely exhausted and fell asleep again.

When the moon climbed high to the zenith, Lu Qianqiao was sitting on his mother's bed with one hand on her wrist so that he could pay attention to her pulse at any time. While his other hand involuntarily felt inside the clothes on his chest, and took out the well-wrapped amethyst hairpin.

Tomorrow would be the third day of the fifth lunar month, and he was afraid that he would not be able to go back and sent this to her. This hairpin...seemed like undestined to be worn on her head on her birthday.

……

The General was feeling a little depressed and a little guilty.

“Tell Li Yan to deliver that to the Imperial Mausoleum.”

Li Chaoyang who was on the bed suddenly opened her mouth which surprised him slightly.

She closed her eyes again and her expression looked really calm, as she added, “There has been a lot of murderous look in the clan recently. So don't bring that girl over. If you have something to send her, just let Li Yan deliver them.“

Lu Qianqiao hesitated for a moment. “Mother…”

“I won't stop you, but when a person is still in the battlefield, with worry influences one's heart, someone from the enemy will surely exploit this loophole. Qianqiao, I'm asking you to give my clan five years time, at least until I fully recover, then you can go back.“

He was silent.

“If you miss her, then try your best to solve the Fox Clan matter in the shortest possible time without fears of trouble in the rearChinese idiom : family worries (obstructing freedom of action)³. This is how a capable husband should be.”

He was still silent.

“That girl will be waiting for you.”

Yes, Xin Mei would be waiting for him. He knew it very well. Five years or ten years, if it was her, she would firmly wait for him to come home without him needed to say anything.

While he was not a good husband who always made her wait.

However Xin Mei, I will definitely go home.

In this world, only a place that has you are my real home.

*

Four years later, on the third day of the fifth lunar month—

It was the third day of the fifth lunar month again, and Xin Mei, as usual, got up before dawn. She picked up a steaming meat bun from the kitchen that she had made last night. As she blew the hot bun, she climbed up the hill slope and it had been a routine for her to watch into the distance from the hill top.

If Lu Qianqiao wanted to come back, he would definitely go this way. Today was her 21st birthday. He probably come back today, right? If he didn't come back, she would become an old woman.

The day before yesterday, Li Min came to deliver letters and gifts to her—Lu Qianqiao would write to her every month and each of the letter would be attached with a gift. Sometimes it would be a pearl eardrop, and sometimes, a necklace strung by seash.o.r.e sh.e.l.ls. She remembered once when he killed a monster, which she didn't know what kind of monster was it, but people said that its liver tasted good. So, he just told Li Yan to carry it in both of his hands, while it was still b.l.o.o.d.y, and sent it to her from far far away.

As a result, during the cooking process, the liver gave off a bad smell that made the group of monsters in the Imperial Mausoleum complained without stoppingChinese idiom : pour out endless grievances⁴. Even Li Yan had to cover his nose as his complexion turned pale and refused to eat it at all. At last, she had to be the one who had to tackle the difficult jobChinese idiom : to do sth reluctantly⁵ of having a bite of the liver. To leave some of Liu Qianqiao's face, she buried the rest of the liver into a hole she had dug.

The day before yesterday, Li Min sent her a pink coloured silk skirt which was embroidered with peach blossoms. It was said that the material was made from a rare green silk that hadn't been seen for one thousand years. In addition for it to be lightly thin and looked really beautiful, it also emitted a sweet smell.

He told her, "Young Master explained, by taking advantage of the spring scenery, he wants you to put on this new clothes, and he also said that he isn't certain yet the day he will return."

Xin Mei frowned. “What do you mean by he isn't certain yet the day he will return?”

“How would I know? When Young Master returns, you should ask himself.”

That hateful man, on her 17th birthday 3 years ago, had made her waited for him on this hillside for one whole day and yet he himself didn't come. He only asked Li Yan to deliver a hair clasp with a letter to her. The wording of the letter was stiff and rigid, 【Wait for me, I will be back in five years.】

He was so sure that she would still wait for him? Now, after four years had pa.s.sed, he played this kind of bewildering trick again, still uncertain on the day he would return?

“Oh, then, you go back and tell him for me. If he doesn't return this time, perhaps it will be about time I find another pretty boyxiǎobáiliǎn – what people know as gigolo nowadays⁶ as his replacement.”

Li Min was completely unmoved with her threat, “The Imperial Mausoleum is full of monsters, so there is no pretty boys here.”

Xin Mei felt a little angry, “Isn't Li Yan a pretty boy?! Ask him to come next time!”

Li Min remained calm. “He won't be able to come lately. He just turns 25 and is currently facing his own transformation.”

Over these few years, one after another from the younger people of the War Demon Clan had suffered transformation disaster. The year before, it was Li Min, and he had pa.s.sed it smoothly. Even though he did not become a perfect war demon like Li Chaoyang, as a pure blood war demon who had pa.s.sed the transformation disaster, it could be said that he still able to raise his strong combat effectiveness. This year, it was Li Yan' s turn. He was a pure blood war demon too. It should not be a big problem for him to pa.s.s it smoothly either.

It seemed that it was precisely because of this continuous addition of new fighting forces to the War Demon Clan recently that the Fox Clan had to withdraw from their old home that they had lived for generations, hiding from the pursuits of the war demons. It was said that some time ago, someone from that clan had written a letter of peace. She didn't know if it was true or not. Judging from Li Min and Li Yan's att.i.tude, they were no longer as nervous as they did before, and it was estimated that the dispute between the two clans would soon be over.

“By the way, Young Master has a birthday present for you.”

Without any expression on his face, Li Min put down a wooden box which was half a human tall from his back to the ground. When it was opened wide, there were two lifelike dolls inside. One wore an armour, with a whip attached to its waist, which made it looked quite majestic. While the other one, with its hair curled up and a mild smile on its face, it wore a silk skirt, and it was holding a carved tofu in its hands.

“Ah..." cried a shocked Xin Mei.

The two dolls...weren't they the smaller version of her and Lu Qianqiao? The female doll had her eyebrows, eyes, nose...even the doll grinning face and devil may care expression looked the same as her!

“Young Master said, that these are…these are…”

Li Min frowned as he was really impatient to say these nauseating words.

“These are called ‘A Match Made in Heaven'.”

His heart was bleeding. How could a person like Young Master who was brilliant, divinely mighty and cold-blooded on the battlefield would say such disgusting and ambiguous words freely!

Xin Mei picked up the two dolls as she looked at one and kissed the other one. She couldn't close her mouth from smiling and she completely forgot what she said just now about looking for a pretty boy, a plan that she somehow had thrown beyond the topmost cloudsChinese idiom : unimaginably far away⁷.

“Then you tell him for me—Liu Qianqiao, I think you want me to suffer so very much. Yes, it always rains in my heart. Only when you come back will my heart will be full of suns.h.i.+ne again…”

“Stop!”

Li Min couldn't bear it any more as he rubbed the goose b.u.mps that appeared on his body.

“Only within five words.”

“Oh, then tell him to come home early."……

She didn't know if Li Min really brought this sentence to him or not, but she had been waiting on the hillside for an hour just like usual, and she didn't see even half of a human figure. Instead, she saw several evil spirits lingered in the pit where they had been buried alive.

A moment later, Xin Xiong waved at her from the foot of the hill shouting, “Little Mei, it's time for dinner!”

He had left the business of Xinxie Manor to his disciples two years ago. Then, he took his wife's tablet and moved to the Imperial Mausoleum to live with his daughter. He had taken care for himself for his allotted life spanChinese idiom : to enjoy life of retirement⁸ and for once, he had nothing to do. So he taught Tao Guoguo and his brother how to read, helped Silan grew some vegetables, and discussed with Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ on how to write his play book to become more fascinating.

However, Xin Mei felt that his greatest strength was when he dragged Miss Yinglian all day long to advise her of the truth of life, and his tongue was bright like lotus flowers. Anything unreasonable would became reasonable when he said it. He had no reason to say that he wasn't right about it. He was actually advising her to consider marrying Xiong Shushufather's younger brother¹⁰ who was from the north and he had come to propose.

On this matter, Xin Xiong was very proud of himself, “How should I say this, son-in-law is also a hot-blooded young man. A beautiful banshee has a secret crush on him all this time, though I'm sure nothing will happen from it. So precious treasure, you don't have to worry. Dad will help you solve this problem.“

Her father was really a magical being. After living for 21 years, Xin Mei had become more and more sure of this.

“Is son-in-law still unable to keep up with your birthday this year?”

Xin Xiong casually asked during their meal.

Xin Mei frowned, “I don't know, but this is not the first time he does this, so, it doesn't matter.”

Xin Xiong thought for a moment. “Precious treasure, shall we give your mother light incense stick after dinner?”

After Xin Xiong moved to the Imperial Mausoleum, the north parlor that was piled up with sundries had been turned into a small ancestral hall where incense burners and spirit tablet were placed. He never stopped putting fresh water and fresh flowers there every day while lighting an incense stick for his dead wife.

After lighting two incense sticks, they stood in front of the spirit tablet and meditated for a moment. Suddenly, he said, "Your Mom was a disciple of the Immortal Sect. She was really chivalrous, and regarded the four corners of the world as her homeChinese idiom : to roam about unconstrained¹¹ which had made her an awesome person to me."

Xin Mei was shocked. Although Dad often talked about how nice and gentle Mom was in front of her, he never told her what her Mom really did. She always thought her Mom was just an ordinary lady.

“After we get married, she often couldn't stay at home. Her sect often had orders for her. When she went, it would either be short one which usually took several months or a long one which took several years. I never know when she would come back, so I would light two lanterns in front of the gate every day. Lushuilu=green, shui=water¹² town was very poor. No one put up lanterns in front of their house at night, but then I started to think, the two lanterns that I put in front of the gate were very conspicuous. When your Mom saw them, she would not go to the wrong way and she would know that I was waiting for her at home.“

Xin Mei blinked and turned to go, “Then I'll light a lantern outside the Imperial Mausoleum.”

“That's not what I meant.”

Xin Xiong quickly grabbed her and wiped his sweat. It was really difficult for him to communicate with this daughter of him.

“For two people to get along well together, both have to yield a little with each other. You two are still young, and son-in-law is so powerful. If your Mom was as powerful as son-in-law, don't say four years, I would have waited for her even for fourteen years. It was a pity that she was hurt before you were born. But when you were born, she couldn't survive the injury for a few months after that. But I had a good time with her for all the time when we were married. I have no regrets. So don't always think about how son-in-law hasn't come back, and your two good days together have gone. His home is here, and he certainly wants to come back earlier. So don't blame him.“

Xin Mei thought for a moment and nodded, "If I'm blaming him, I won't have been waiting for him."

Xin Xiong smugly touched his beard, “My family precious treasure is already the second best woman in the world.”

“Why not first under the heavenChinese idiom : peerless¹³?”

“Nonsense! The first place has already been taken by your Mom.”

After they had done putting down the incense, Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ took Xin Xiong away. Over the years, the ending part of the ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven' had been changed so many times, but it had never been finished. Xin Mei told him to conform to the facts, Xin Xiong expressed that he did not like unoriginal melodramatic, Tao Guoguo said he wanted to see a fight, and Ying Lian wanted to see scenes that could provide food for thoughtChinese idiom : thought-provoking¹⁴. While Silan said...he said, just let those boring puppet show went to h.e.l.l.

Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ felt very much embarra.s.sed. These days, he had to pull Xin Xiong together to discuss the plot for the play ending. In fact, Xin Xiong was the only one in the Imperial Mausoleum who was willing to discuss about it with him.

Seeing the two old men walked away, Xin Mei stretched herself and continued to climb the usual hillside.

Lilacs were in bloom, in addition with cherry blossoms and apricot blossoms that had not yet withered, which made everywhere looked bright and colourful, also serenely warm.

It was a very beautiful spring scene.

Xin Mei sang a tune on her way up the hillside.Dear beloved gegeelder brother¹⁵, why don't you come, I'll wait till all the flowers soon withered.

Her out of practiced tunes were so out of key had scared the birds to fly far away, while countless little birds went off like rockets.

When she was going to sing for the fourth time, the sound of someone stepping on the gra.s.s could be heard from the slope. Xin Mei was lying on the gra.s.s when in a moment, her neck was raised high as she squinted at the slope.

Two muddy boots walked all the way to her side. The dusty man sat beside her and touched her head.

“…I'm back, so stop singing.”

If she continued to sing, the birds in this forest would never dare to settle down there anymore.

Xin Mei suddenly jumped up from her seat, opened up her round eyes, as she stared at the man who was covered in dustChinese idiom : travel-worn¹⁶ beside her with an incredible mixture of alarm and ecstasy. His red and black eyes were as deep and focused as ever, as they silently stared at her.

“Lu Qianqao!” she cried, as she grabbed him by his cheeks and started to pull them from side to side.

Is this really him? I can't be wrong, right?

He smiled and stretched out his hand as he gently pulled her face, following her example, “Xin Mei.”

In the next moment, she rushed into his dusty arms, as he opened his hands and hugged her tightly.

The precious person in her heart had finally returned home.

—End of the story—

【Extras】

Extra 1 : Ending part of Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven

(The most sensational story in history, with tens of millions people shed their tears after watching it. Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ devoted his heart and soul to create the legendary cla.s.sic love story, ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven.')

Ladies and gentlemen, those who have grand pointy horns, those who have magnificent scales skins, and also those monsters who have seven colours of the rainbow eyes, I'm very honoured for your arrival tonight to support this performance.

After a long period of neglecting my sleep and forgetting my foodChinese idiom : to be completely wrapped up in one's work¹⁷, and also spitting out my heart and spilling my bloodChinese idiom : to work one's heart out¹⁸, the final part of my ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven' has finally successfully completed. Hereto, I also have to express a special thanks to gentleman Xin Xiong who had exerted all his strength to aid me, with him not mind taking all the troubleChinese idiom : to be very patient¹⁹ to help me sorted out my train of thought. He gave me inspiration when I was in despair, otherwise, you wouldn't have the chance to watch the final part of ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven' today.

In addition, I would also like to thank many people, such as Tao Guoguo and his younger brother who often tore my play book and forced me to look for inspirations again. Miss Ying Lian who recently urged me to replace the hero and heroine with bear demon and lotus spirit. Furthermore, to gentleman Silan who abused my spirit with sarcastic remarks every day, and—the source of inspiration for the whole story, Miss Xin Mei.

Without you people destroying and torturing me mentally and physically, there would not have been a new ending for ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven' today! Nor is there a new Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ who has been reborn and surpa.s.ses his own limits!

There is a lot more I want to say…

“—shut up, old man!”

A bag of sunflower seed sh.e.l.ls suddenly covered Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹'s head. Followed by loquat seeds, watermelon rinds, teacups, straw sandals and the like smashed onto the stage, one after another. With a b.l.o.o.d.y nose and swollen face, Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ rolled to the backstage. The lanterns on the stage went out one by one. Little Mei, a doll with picturesque features and graceful looks, floated to the surface of the stage.

Loquat seeds (the black ones)
Image Credit buyanputra via

Watermelon rinds
Image Credit  ROBIN SHREEVES ( July 8th, 2016)
via

Chinese Tea Cups
Image Credit fotohunter/Shutterstock via Tom Order (, April 2nd, 2015) at

Ancient Chinese Straw Shoes
Image Credit

At present, there was a torrent of white waves—Little Mei, who was deeply hurt by the General in the last scene, intended to jump into the river to commit suicide.

Before she jumped into the river, she would pose, shake her sleeves and twirled precariously, then chanted a sad love poem to the monstrous white waves.

“Qian Qiao, I'll wait for you a thousand under—I'll wait for you in the water, even when water comes. I'll wait for you in the ashes, even when the fire comes…“

With its long sleeves being flung upward, they covered the face that capable of causing the downfall of a stateChinese idiom : (of a woman) devastatingly beautiful²⁰. Her exquisite body was drawing a poignant arc in the air—she just jumped! (Xin Mei turns back and spits out the melon sh.e.l.l: A woman like this who talks a lot before she dies and does not forget to pose will probably not going to really die.)

At this critical juncture, the sweet-sounding singing of birds of paradise could be heard from the horizon, and a bright golden light suddenly flashed by. A handsome young man who could not be described by words flew into the air, made a circle in mid-air, raised his hand to hold Little Mae who had committed suicide in his arms, and then continued to land on the sh.o.r.e like a top. (Lu Qianqiao crushed a walnut: Who made this new doll? ! Who allowed you people to make such a beautiful Great Monk?!)

“Miss, life is short, so it is important to enjoy life while you still can. This matter isn't something that truly heartbreaking in the world, and it isn't worth for you to kill yourself.“

The Great Monk lovingly parted a bit of hair on her forehead and his voice was soft and gentle like a sweet liquor.

Little Mei in his arms, looked at his face that was like a celestial being, which made a b.u.mping fawn in her heartChinese idiom : anxious and nervous feeling²¹ as she suddenly went absent-minded, “Unexpectedly, a man with such magnificent style unmatched in his generationChinese idiom : peerless grace and talent²² really exist in this world…”

Her stunned appearance drew an evil smile from the Great Monk as he lowered his head down, and stopped when the tip of his nose was almost touching the tip of her nose.

“Do you like what you see?” he asked.

(Xin Mei : In fact, he must be very ugly, isn't he? As a result, he has to wear that many layers of masks, just because he can't confront his true self, so he's willing to deceive himself to this extent.)

Little Mei got her mind back because of his action, and struggled to free herself even with her flush face, “Let go of me! Let go of me!”

The Great Monk laughed and restrained her fidgeting body, “I am a monk who devotes myself to spiritual practice. I am willing to listen to the sad things in your heart. So, come on, talk to me in my carriage.“

After that, he could not resist himself as he forcibly took her into his gorgeous long carriage.

Little Mei quickly confided to the Great Monk about things that had been weighing on her mind after she had been submitted to his half-forced and half-tender attack. He was pleasantly surprised when he heard this. This was like wearing iron shoesChinese idiom : spare no effort in searching for sth²³, without him spending so much of his time and energy. It turned out that the Great Monk's Fox Clan and the General's War Demon Clan had been feuding for generations and unfortunately, this feud currently suffered from no breakthrough. Now the General's woman fell into his own hands, which was definitely a G.o.dsend.

The Great monk had ulterior motives as he treated Little Mei gently and thoughtfully in every possible way. Needless to say, he even did cliché acts like coiling her hair up, b.u.t.toned up her clothes and put flowers on her hair with his own hands. Once, when Little Mei was ill, the doctor even said that there was no cure to it. Unless, she was blessed with the blood of the G.o.ds. Thus, the Great Monk did not hesitate to cut his wrist and gave out a bucket of blood. He would accompany her drunk them and bathe in them, which finally brought her back from the dead. (Lu Qianqiao: Watch out, Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹. He will die one day if the Fox Clan sees this play.)

Little Mei gradually sunk down into the Great Monk's tenderness, and her tender feelings towards the General finally began to sway. One day, she heard that the Fox Fairy and the Gossip Immortal had come over looking for her after they heard that she had been abandoned by the General. This news still able to make Little Mei felt really heartbroken. Originally, the General had complied with his mother's arrangement, which was to marry a n.o.ble lady of War Demon Clan today—(the stage perspective changes to the General's bridal chamber.)

Inside the jubilant, red as fire bridal chamber, the General was drinking a nuptial cup with the bride, with a voiceover saying, 【Finally, I have come to this step. Mother has used Little Mei's life to force me, so I have to give up my most beloved woman, and marry a stranger from my War Demon Clan. Hate me, Little Mei! I rather have you hate me deeply than you forget about me! In order to continue the blood of the perfect war demon, we cannot be so selfish…although my body belongs to this stranger, my soul will always be with you! 】

When the bride's veil was uncovered, the tipsy General was dazzled to find that the bride and Little Mei looked somewhat alike. In his rapture, he pushed her down, tore up his clothes happily…the candle flickered in the red room as the bed turned upside down like it had been hit by waves. The General had adulterous affair with the bride many many times. While, thousands of miles away, a peach blossom which was put at the head of Little Mei's bed quietly withered. (Lu Qianqiao: In other words, I will only do adulterous acts in this play?)

The angle of view changed again. Little Mei, who knew that the General had married a bride, was emotionally knocked down again. She was only wearing a thin silk dress in the middle of the night, half seductive and half decadent. She climbed onto the high platform while feeling light on her feet. She once again swung her sleeves around, and was ready to commit suicide again.

Afterwards, the Great Monk rescued her once again, and because of this, he had a fight with the Fox Fairy and Gossip Immortal. For a moment, a white light flashed in the mix, and the three people who fought in mid air suddenly hovered between life and death. (Xin Mei : Does Meishan darent.i.tle of respect towards superior²⁴ has any other special ability other than being struck by thunder?) Remember when Meishan saw Xin Mei and Lu Qianqiao after LQQ killed the monster tiger? He was strike by lightning at that time. XDᵀᴺ

The Great Monk was indeed fierce as he alone could beat the Fox Fairy and the Gossip Immortal into rags, but he himself was severely injured and he was on the verge of dying. Xiao Mei took good care of him with a complex mood. In the process of taking care of him, adultery affair occurred between them.

“Marry me, and I have the ability to give you a just and honourable status! Forget that ruthless General. If you can't forget him, I will bring his head and make you bury your remaining fragile feelings for him.“

The Great Monk held Xiao Mei's hand tightly and made a lifelong pledge to her.

“I will love you all my life. I will never leave you and never let you feel sad.”

Little Mei was in a dilemma, and the Great Monk didn't have the patience to wait, so—the lights suddenly turned off, and the Great Monk forced himself on her.

“Don't! I don't want this! You, if you act like this again, I will shout!“ despite her burning desire, Little Mei still struggled to refuse his advance.

“You can shout! There are all my people here, and no one will come to your rescue even if you scream your head off!“

The Great Monk tore off her clothes.

Little Mei shed two helpless and desperate stream of tears, as she watched her clothes became rags and flew everywhere.

(Xin Mei: Why didn't she just scream her head off?)

The Great Monk was familiar with this kind of thing. He uses his body to tell her exactly what it was called ‘three shallow deep', ‘nine shallow deep', ‘Guanyin sitting on lotus', ‘embracing the moon'…with all these kinds of tricks, Little Mei turned from resistance to obedience, as tears kept flowing down from her eyes. Finally, she had been conquered from her body to her mind by the monk. (Lu Qianqiao: Am I thinking too much? Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ is not actually satirizing me, is he….?)

Determined to forget the past, Little Mei promised to marry a Great Monk. While thousands of miles away, unknown from where the General heard the news. He became a beauty with red cheeks when he burst into anger, with voice-over saying, 【She was born for me, and in death, she will be my ghost! I will rather have her hates me than let other men get her! 】

The war between the Fox Clan and the War Demon Clan started again because of this matter. In order to compete for the beauty, their battles were in full swing, with flesh and blood flyingChinese idiom : people blown to pieces²⁵ and also numerous casualties. (Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ wildly growled from the backstage: No more chicken blood! Come on! Pour out the prepared cinnabar! Cinnabar! Cinnabar! Whoever uses chicken blood will kill himself!)

Little Mei felt utterly grieved, with voice-over saying, 【Ah, what a sinful woman I am! How can I bear the burden of so many innocent people dying for me? I shouldn't have been born in this world. Without me, you wouldn't have slaughtered each other. That's right, if only there were no me! This time I must end this! Absolutely! 】

Little Mei went to the front line of the war alone, where the two men were fighting to death. She had not seen the General for so long, and when she first saw him, she shed tears of grief mixed with joy.

The General said, “Little Mei! I have left behind my blood relations.h.i.+p as descendant of the war demons! From now on, I am free. Follow me!“

The Great Monk said, “You are my wife already, so follow me go back home!”

Little Mei swallowed back her bitter tears, walked to the Great Monk's side with tears in her eyes, and looked back at the General with a sad smile, “Qian Qiao, everything between us is already over. Once, you always asked me to wait for you, but now I'm already tired. I can't wait for you anymore. Just let me go. “

After she done saying that, she supported the Great Monk to turn around and walked away with him.

With feelings of shock and anger, the General waved his long whip at the direction of the unsuspecting Great Monk. Little Mei sacrificed herself by throwing her body out and the whip mercilessly broke her spine. She was like a small white flower drifting away. She whirled wildly in circles like she was been blew by magical wind, and in the end, the delicate and lovely girl fell to the ground.

“No—!! “

The two men's heartbreaking voices sounded at the same time.

The audiences were crying at this moment. This segment was the climax and Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹'s masterpiece, so he quietly leaned out his head from the background, wanting to see the General and Xin Mei's reactions, but who would have thought that the middle two seats on the front row were empty!

In utter amazement, Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ grabbed a monster nearby and asked, “Where is the General?! When did he leave?“

The monster sobbed as he wiped his tears, “At the part when it shed blood like water.”

Did this play upset the General again?! Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹ felt very nervous.

The two persons who made him nervous were currently sitting in the empty kitchen. Lu Qianqiao was kneading dough in a basin, while Xin Mei was making dumplings bases from the dough that he had done kneaded. Both of their hands were full with flours.

“It doesn't matter to you not to watch its ending?”

Lu Qianqiao was ashamed. He didn't eat much this morning. As a result, he was so hungry that he let out a cry that Xin Mei heard it. Thus, she dragged him to the kitchen to cook something for him to eat. He knew that she liked watching puppet shows very much. When she sees wonderful parts, she often neglected to sleep and forgot about foodChinese idiom : to be completely wrapped up in one's work¹⁷.

“It was noisy and not very interesting.”

Xin Mei smiled and moulded a small white rabbit with the dough and held it in front of him like she was presenting a treasure, “Look! Doesn't it look good? This will be steamed for you to eat.“

He smiled and hesitated for a while. Then he took a lump of dough and moulded it. He moulded it into a tiger and gave it to her, “Then, this one will be eaten by you.”

Xin Mei frowned, and stared at him for a long time, before she said, “This is…a tortoise? A loach? Eh, it's very…very unique.”

Good loaches for your aquarium, if you have one :

Image Credit The Spruce/Collin Tighe via s.h.i.+rlie Sharpe ( Dec 7th,2019) at

“……”

Lu Qianqiao silently crushed the poor tiger.

Xin Mei wiped her face, and a bit of the flour had stained her face. Lu Qianqiao tried to wipe it with his sleeve, but the more he wiped it, the whiter it became. He was hesitating whether to wash his hands or not. Suddenly, he heard the sound of striking gongs, drums and bangs came out from the stage in the distance. He reckoned that the play had reached its climax, as he could also heard the cries of monsters from time to time.

She grinned, "It's so noisy outside, but fortunately, we dodged it."

Then, she rubbed her hands together to get rid of the flours, and with the sound of ‘pa' both of her hands cupped his face. Two messy faces stared at each other, when she finally burst out laughing.

“ Naughty.”

Lu Qianqiao perked up the corner of his mouth and flicked her forehead.

There was still a lot of noise outside. Some were fighting, some were crying, some were laughing and some were just making noises, but these had nothing to do with them. Let the people outside made noises. Whether if it was love, hate, affection, or enmity. Whether they were clans conflicts, or whether the country was ruined and the people were starving, nothing could be compared to the instant pleasure of cooking dumplings together.

They were all other people's stories. It had nothing to do with them nor the Imperial Mausoleum.

“…Xin Mei, you have eaten 30 dumplings.”

“I'm still not full yet.”

"…we only made a total of 30 dumplings."

“Uh…”

“Want to continue wrapping the dumplings?”

“Yes, let's continue. This time, you should eat first.“

……

Zhao Guanrenrespectful term of address for a man in the Song Dynasty⁹, who had been hiding out of the window, took a long breath and wiped the cold sweat on his forehead. Suddenly, he was inspired—he had decided! He should start writing another galley proof for ‘Unhappy Couple Made in Heaven'!

This time, it would be a love murder case caused by a dumpling!

Noob Translator's Musing Sorry, I thought I would be free. Who would have thought that I would have more work to do.

This is the last chapter and also the longest chapter ever for MMIH. There will be 3 more extra chapters after this chapter. I try to finish one of the 3 in the next few days.;

Oh, one more thing.

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