An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 35

"I deserved them," Elizabeth said with a grimace. "I have always been headstrong, maybe because I have had to be, but luckily I have married a man who is more considered than I ever could be."

"What do you mean?" Charlotte asked.

"I should have kept my counsel about Stephen's views on marriage," Elizabeth said honestly.

"I'm glad I knew, it obviously helped me to make my decision in refusing his proposal," Charlotte insisted.

"That's the problem. My words influenced you and I think Michael was right. Stephen has changed since he met you; he has done things that he would have avoided at all costs prior to meeting you. You don't realise it, but you have brought out the best in him. I am truly sorry that I have caused you both to be unhappy when I only ever wanted what was best for the both of you," Elizabeth said.

Charlotte squeezed Elizabeth's hand. "I could never marry for convenience, and if that is what he was offering me, I could not have accepted his proposal, whether you had voiced your concerns or not," she rea.s.sured.

"I want us to be friends," Elizabeth said.

"We are and always shall be," Charlotte said softly, but moved away from the bed. She had realised how tired Elizabeth looked and said her goodbyes, before leaving the room.

As she returned to her own bed chamber she mulled over Elizabeth's words; so her friend believed that Stephen had changed because of the dealings he had had with her. The thought pleased her, although she did wish that she could remember everything, since if she could it would make life a little easier.

Chapter 26.

Stephen found that his bruised pride could be soothed when he received kisses from Charlotte. Over the two weeks that Elizabeth was confined to her room because of the birth of Catherine, he was able to take full advantage of the change in circ.u.mstances. He was alone with Charlotte far more than he should have been, not only that, he kissed her far more than he should have done.

He took her on a walk and kissed her senseless in the rose garden. He took her for a ride and kissed her breath away by the fis.h.i.+ng lake. He played billiards with her and made her legs weak by kissing her against the billiard table. In fact in every room that was free of servants, Stephen indulged in his desire to kiss Charlotte, fully, pa.s.sionately and almost indecently. He barely kept a rein on his desire, but he did manage to stop himself from taking the next step. She was worth more than an illicit coupling.

Charlotte was a willing partic.i.p.ant. It was strange to think that she was behaving in the most wanton way she had ever done and yet she was happier than she had ever been. Every moment she spent with Stephen was a moment to treasure. He made her laugh, made her insides squirm with pleasure and made her feel as if life was perfect.

The reality of it was that life was not really perfect though. He had never mentioned anything about marrying her, or renewing his addresses, but she was sure he must love her. He had never uttered the words, but his actions, the way his eyes lit up when hers met his, the way he sought her out, surely those were signs of love?

One afternoon Charlotte sat in the drawing room, trying to concentrate on her needlework, while being read snippets of the gossip columns by Stephen. Where ever she was, he was not far away, in some respects she thought that they must look like an old married couple, but she would not change a thing.

Michael entered the room and interrupted Stephen's flow of trivia. "This letter has just arrived for you, Halkyn," he said, handing Stephen the letter.

"Oh?" Stephen asked, laying the periodical down. "I'm not expecting anything."

He opened the letter and from the moment he started to read, his demeanour changed. He frowned and hunched forward, taking careful note of every word contained in the letter. When he had finished, he crushed the letter in his grip and banged his fist on the arm of the chair.

"A problem?" Michael asked.

"There wouldn't be if this country wasn't run on the system of advancement because of who you know," Stephen said with annoyance.

"What's happened?" Michael persisted.

Stephen shrugged, "The letter is from Peters; it seems that Kersal has friends in high places after all. He should be swinging for what he's been doing, but there is an appeal being submitted by the Duke of Lingston, which means he will win. Who ever heard of someone hanging when a Duke steps in to vouch for one?"

"Surely Peters has enough solid evidence to support the case? I'm surprised Kersal has such a high level supporter, he is only a Baron and as far as I was aware did not have any great friends." Michael guessed correctly that the Bow Street Officer was efficient; he had seen him in action long enough to recognise real skill.

"Peters will have done his job, but obviously Kersal has something on Lingston that guarantees his support. Perhaps he is one of the men with unusual tastes. Laura seemed to suggest that a lot of our contempories have needs that would disgust most of the population," Stephen said.

Charlotte gasped, immediately drawing the attention of both men. "I'm sorry Charlotte, Halkyn should not have been so graphic in your company," Michael apologised, cursing himself for not stopping the conversation sooner. He had forgotten that Charlotte was in the room, she had been so quiet throughout the exchange.

"I-It's not that," Charlotte stammered. "I remember! I remember everything!"

"What do you remember?" Stephen demanded.

"Everything," Charlotte said and then her needlework fell to the floor as her hands flew to her cheeks in horror. "Oh my good G.o.d, what did I do?"

"Charlotte...." Stephen started, immediately wanting to protect her from suffering any kind of distress, but he was interrupted by Charlotte.

She looked at him in horror. "I remember everything!" she said. "I acted like a hussy, oh my G.o.d, I am so sorry."

"You did not act like a hussy, you did the only thing that was available for you to do," Stephen said quickly. He noticed Michael watching with interest, but he had to ignore him, he would answer his questions later. "You had to get out of there for your own safety, the alternative doesn't bear thinking about!" he insisted.

Charlotte covered her eyes. "Everything that happened with Christopher, oh my goodness how could I have been so foolish? I am nothing better than a common doxy." She stood and looked at Stephen, meeting his gaze with eyes that were filled with a mixture of shame and remorse. "I am truly ashamed and sorry for what I have done, and for involving you. You acted like a gentleman, while I behaved appallingly. Please excuse me." She left the room, closing the door firmly behind her.

"Halkyn? What on earth was all that about?" Michael asked.

"It looks as if I have just been taken for a fool!" Stephen responded, not sure whether to be angry or amused that someone had fooled him so completely.

"You had better explain," Michael responded.

Stephen told him of the way Charlotte had gained his attention. "I didn't tell you at the start because there was no need. She was embarra.s.sed enough at having to tell you the rest of it, without adding to it that she had dragged me into a room."

"I can understand why you both wouldn't make that common knowledge, but why does that make you a fool?" Michael asked, referring back to Halkyn's comment.

"Who did she mention? The footman that persuaded her to elope and the comments she made were about what she had done with him. She obviously didn't tell me the whole truth when we met. It sounds as if she went further than words and kisses with him, and yet here I am thinking that she was an innocent!" Stephen said bitterly.

"I'm not convinced that she meant it like that," Michael defended his young guest. "She doesn't seem the sort to let someone compromise her. I'm more inclined to believe the story she told us at the start, she's just shocked at remembering. Don't forget it was a difficult experience for her, I think you should find her and talk to her."

"I think I need a drink first!" Stephen said sullenly. The reality was that he did not really want to know if she had been compromised by the footman, because it would destroy him. How could he look at her knowing that she had been with another when all he wanted was for her to be with him? He was being selfish, he acknowledged that, but he wanted Charlotte and his feelings reacted badly at the thought of her with someone else.

Michael was right though, Stephen needed to talk to her and find out the truth once and for all. Although he cursed his foolishness, he also wanted to make sure she was not too upset at remembering. After all this time it must be difficult to be suddenly faced with memories, especially as they were not pleasant ones. He took some moments to drink a brandy and collect himself. He needed to be able to speak to her calmly or he would never find anything out.

Michael left the room, making some excuse. He thought it best to leave Stephen to speak to Charlotte alone. It was going to be a difficult conversation for them both and they did not need his interference.

Stephen pulled the bell and asked the footman to send a message to Miss Webster to join him. He waited, trying to remain calm, when his insides were churning. He started to pace the room, but was interrupted when the footman returned to say that Miss Webster had left the house over half an hour ago.

The news did not bode well for Stephen's temper and he strode out to the rose garden. It was Charlotte's favourite place; at least they could still be private. Stephen had not wanted to have the conversation he needed to have in a place that reminded him so much of the kisses they had shared, but it looked as if he did not have a choice. As he walked, he suppressed a smile, there were few places in Dunham House that would not remind him of their kisses, there was hardly a room that they had not indulged in.

Charlotte was not to be found in the rose garden. Stephen continued looking for her, along the pathways, but after an hour, it was apparent that she was not in the immediate parkland. He returned to the house, suppressing the unease he was beginning to feel.

Miss Fairfield's a.s.sistance was sought when Stephen arrived back at the house. She had not seen Charlotte, but went in search of her. She returned a little time later, her frown betraying the result of her search.

"I'm afraid, my Lord, that Charlotte is not in the house. The footman that saw her leave said she did not carry anything with her, apart from her reticule, but she did appear to be upset and in a hurry."

"d.a.m.n it!" Stephen muttered, before apologising for his language to Miss Fairfield.

Miss Fairfield, nodded her acceptance of the apology. "Is there anything else you would like me to do, my Lord?"

"Send someone to check if she has reached the village and tried to obtain a ticket for the stage," Stephen asked gruffly.

"Do you think she has left?" Miss Fairfield asked in surprise. This did not seem like Charlotte's normal behaviour, since even after the accident, she had appeared to be a steady young girl.

"I don't know, I really don't know," Stephen admitted, running a hand through his hair in part frustration, part worry. "Her memory returned suddenly and it has caused her considerable distress, and I don't know what she has done as a result of that."

"I see," Miss Fairfield said. "I shall have someone sent into the village immediately. We will find her, my Lord," she a.s.sured Stephen, before leaving the room.

Stephen sighed; yet again his feelings for Charlotte left him totally at a loss as to what to do. He had never felt so out of control in his life and he hated not knowing what was going to happen from one moment to the next. His life had been so ordered previously. He looked at himself in the large mirror that hung above the marble fireplace. His life had been ordered, it was true, but he had not been happy.

He groaned at his reflection. When had he suddenly wanted to be happy? Possibly from the moment that Charlotte begged him for a kiss, begged him to help her, and made him become a better human being in the process. His emotions had been in complete turmoil these last months, but he would not change a thing. The last two weeks had shown him what real happiness and contentment were. Yes, he had been intent on kissing Charlotte during every opportunity that arose, but he had felt something else. He had enjoyed laughing with her, talking to her, just being by her side for most of the day.

He rested his head on the cool marble fire place and laughed to himself. What a fool he was. He had ridiculed his friends for years and now he had just gone and done exactly the same, he had fallen in love. Completely and totally, just like any moon struck fool. He was in love with her, and now she had gone.

Worry surfaced again and he stood straight. He needed to do something and he probably needed Michael's a.s.sistance. He left the room and knocked on Michael's study.

"Come in," came the command.

Stephen opened the door and walked in, nodding to Charles as he approached the desk. "Charlotte is missing," he said simply.

"What do you mean, missing?" Michael asked, he hoped it was not as a result of a fall out between the pair. He had only left Stephen two hours previously; he had presumed they had sorted out the upset over the recalled memories.

"When she left the room, she also left the house and hasn't been seen since. Your housekeeper is sending to the village to see if she is there, or has tried to leave from there, but she is not in the grounds or the house," Stephen explained.

"Where can she have gone?" Michael asked. "Back to her uncle?"

"I doubt she has gone there without luggage or money, but who knows how badly she was upset? We need to find her before nightfall!" Stephen could not stop the worry from sounding in his voice.

"We will," Michael said firmly. "Charles, please have the house and grounds rechecked and check with Martha to see if she needs any help. I'm sure she has everything under control, but just in case. The more help, the sooner we will find her."

"Yes, my Lord," Charles replied and left the room.

"If she has left the house, she's on foot, she won't have got very far," Michael said consolingly.

"She was so upset, I hope she doesn't do something stupid," Stephen responded.

Two hours later and it seemed that Charlotte had disappeared. There was no sign of her and Stephen was setting out to search for her himself. She had not reached the village, as far as anyone could tell, so the likelihood was that she had fallen and was injured somewhere on the parkland. No matter how much Michael a.s.sured him that if she was on the parkland, she would have been found, Stephen was determined to look for her himself.

Their argument about the necessity of this was interrupted by the arrival of Elizabeth. Michael jumped up when his wife entered the room. "Elizabeth! What on earth are you doing out of your rooms?" the concerned husband asked.

"I am come to see what has happened to Charlotte. I could hear that something was wrong and forced Martha to tell me. Has she not been found yet?" Elizabeth asked, sitting down and facing both men.

"No, I'm going to look for her, I was just about to leave," Stephen said.

"Running about the countryside will not achieve anything," Elizabeth responded.

"That's what I've been trying to tell him," Michael added in frustration.

Stephen looked fit to burst, "Well at least I will be doing something!" he snapped.

"You are a pair of fools!" Elizabeth said, annoyed with them both. "She could have been found hours ago if only you would have come straight to me."

"Why? Where is she?" Stephen demanded, for once ignoring the criticism of himself.

"There is only one other place she would have gone to if she was upset. I'm surprised neither of you thought of it; she will be at the Hurst's farm," Elizabeth said. She was worried about her friend, but could not help being slightly smug about the expressions that greeted her at her words.

"That's miles away!" Stephen said, dismissing the suggestion. "She was on foot."

"Yes, and how long was it before you realised that she was missing?" Elizabeth asked.

"Probably about two hours," Stephen admitted.

"And in that two hours, do you not think she would have come across some form of transport, whether farm cart or curricle, that would have taken up a young lady and helped her along her way?" Elizabeth asked, shaking her head.

"I need my horse," Stephen muttered and left the room.

"You have our wish of good luck on your quest," Elizabeth said to the retreating figure, even though her words would not be heard. "I think Stephen finally realises what Charlotte means to him," she smiled at her husband.

"I hope so, I've left them alone enough over these last few weeks," Michael responded with a gleam in his eye. "I've never worked as much in my study before. I will be in despair if he didn't take the opportunity to use the time productively."

"Michael!" Elizabeth exclaimed, before bursting into laughter.

Chapter 27.

Stephen rode without thinking. His driving force was that Charlotte was upset, and that he needed to make her feel better. He had barely stopped to receive directions to the farm, before setting off. He had kept away from the farm during Charlotte's stay there, but there was no possibility that he could keep away now, if she was there.

His horse covered the ground in impressive time and there was still a small amount of light when he dismounted outside the farm. The two dogs barked their greeting until Mrs Hurst came out of the farm.

"Can I help you sir?" Her tone was pleasant, but she seemed to be looking at Stephen with particular interest.

"I hope so," Stephen responded. "Is Miss Webster here?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm Lord Halkyn, and need to see Miss Webster!" Stephen responded. He had subconsciously stood taller, to try and intimidate his way in.

His actions did not seem to impress Mrs Hurst. She looked him up and down and then met his gaze, all signs of friendliness gone. It was apparent that she was not easily bullied or intimidated. "Well, unfortunately for you, she doesn't want to see you, so I suggest you get back on your horse and leave her be."

Stephen had not antic.i.p.ated being refused entry and could have growled with annoyance, but he kept his temper. "I can't do that," he responded.