An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 50

"She is more likely to be disappointed in me," Alfred said. "I have no idea what to do with a child, Martha."

Martha sensed the panic in his voice and reached over to squeeze his arm. "No parent knows what to do when it is their first child. You will have the support around you which you require, all you need to do is to love her and accept her, and the rest you will work out together."

Martha reached over and scooped up the baby into her arms and walked around the cradle. Alfred looked alarmed, but did not pull away when she handed him the child. "Frederica, it's time to meet your Papa," Martha said softly, letting go of the baby when she was sure Alfred held her securely.

Alfred stood stiffly, almost afraid to breathe, as the child snuggled to get comfortable once more. He seemed to relax slightly when he rocked her gently and she settled into sleep once more.

"See, you are an expert already," Martha rea.s.sured him. "I shall leave you two together, you have a lot of catching up to do."

Alfred was left alone in the room once more, staring down at the bundle in his arms. He continued to rock her gently, afraid that if he stopped, she would wake once more. As he gained a little more confidence, his hand stroked the side of her face, feeling the softness and marvelling at her tiny hand.

"h.e.l.lo Frederica, my little girl," he said quietly, as the tears rolled unchecked down his face.

Chapter 22.

Charles handed Martha the letter. He recognised the handwriting of her brother and wanted to force her to open it in front of him, but she had learned from the last time, and saved the letter until she was alone. With everything that had been happening, Martha had not written as much as she normally did, since she did not want to burden Thomas with a letter that would make him worry about her, he already had enough to deal with. So she waited until she was seated on her window seat in her bed chamber and read the letter.

Later Martha would reflect that it was a wise decision to read the letter away from Charles Anderton, for it would surely have convinced him that she was a selfish woman who he should avoid. Thomas had written that Susan was to be married. She had met a gentleman related to the family whom she was employed by, and he had asked her to marry him. Thomas wrote that the couple seemed very well suited and were very much in love, and that they wanted Martha to attend the wedding if possible.

Martha was delighted for her sister, she truly was, but she could not prevent the pang of envy that shot through her the first time she read the letter. Susan was to be married, she would leave the life of an employee behind her and no doubt soon have a family of her own, to have everything that Martha had hoped for. Martha was envious of the situation, not of her sister, who she loved dearly.

She looked out of the window and smiled slightly to herself. If she had truly wanted a marriage, she had received the proposal from Charles, she should have accepted it and be done. Charles, bless him! She had accused him of offering for her out of pity, and although she had ranted at him for doing so, it was a gallant gesture. She sighed, she had been foolish with Charles, her first impressions had been wrong and she had acted in a way that had probably cost her the only chance of happiness that she would ever have.

Martha stood and smoothed down her dress, there was no point in crying over what could have been. She had acted in a way which would keep her on the path she had chosen. That would not prevent her from trying to join her family, or enjoying her sister's happiness. She left her room to seek out Charles.

He was working in the study as usual when Martha entered. She explained what the letter contained.

"I need to write to Lady Dunham, to ask if she can spare me for a little while longer. I don't suppose there would be much of a problem, they seem settled in London," Martha said.

"Yes, for the first time, they seem to be enjoying their visit," Charles agreed, surprised that his employers had remained in London for so long when they usually avoided the place. "When is the wedding?"

"They are getting a special licence, so it is in less than a week," Martha explained. "At least the journey from here to Ches.h.i.+re won't be too tedious."

"Why don't I accompany you?" Charles offered. He did not want Martha to travel alone, but it was for selfish reasons that he spoke up.

"What about finding a steward?" Martha asked understandably, as nothing had been achieved in replacing Mr Lawson.

"I have a solution to that," Charles explained. "All I need to do is to speak to Alfred."

"Alfred?" Martha asked, before realising the plan behind the words. "Oh, what an excellent idea!" she said with a beaming smile.

Charles's chest squeezed with pleasure at being the cause of such a positive response from Martha, and smiled in return. "If Alfred agrees, we could set off in the morning, since there would be nothing further holding us here."

Martha was a little torn, her family would wonder at her travelling with Charles, although if their visit was on the way back to Dunham House, it would not be considered all that unusual. She would like his company, if she was honest with herself, because his teasing manner would stop her from falling into the doldrums. Those were the reasons she told herself anyway. If there was any other motivation behind her feelings, she was not ready to acknowledge them.

"If Alfred agreed, we could stay for a few days with my family, before returning to Dunham House," she mused. "It would be nice to see everyone."

"That's settled then," Charles agreed, moving from behind the desk. There was a lot to arrange before they left, starting with convincing Alfred of his plan.

Charles found Alfred in the nursery. It was the place he now spent more of his time. Having accepted that he was Frederica's father, he was determined to be the best father he could, which started with learning all there was to know about caring for a child. Charles waited until Alfred gave the baby to the nurse and followed Charles out of the room.

"I wanted to put a proposal to you, which I think you would be interested in," Charles explained as they descended the staircase.

"Go on," Alfred said.

Charles did not continue until they were both in the study and he could close the door, it was not appropriate for the other staff to hear anything at this stage. "I would like to offer you the position of steward at Home Farm," he explained.

"Steward?" Alfred said in surprise. "I don't know the first thing about running an estate."

"No, but Mr Lawson does," Charles responded, amused at Alfred's shocked expression. "I've already taken the liberty of speaking to him about my proposal. He is more than happy to spend the time that you need in order to learn the job. This is a small estate, so the pay is not high, but it does come with accommodation and food, and you can obviously live here with Frederica. Lady Dunham wants someone who will stay and care for the estate, you have already proved yourself to be able and loyal, and I don't think you will have any trouble in learning the role."

Alfred had sat down, leaning forward. He blew air through his teeth, as thoughts raced around his head. "I admit that I was worried about what job I would be able to take with a baby and no mother," he acknowledged.

"The job is only part-time, when you know the ropes," Charles explained. "The staff here are already caring for the baby, there is no reason why that needs to be altered. As she grows you will have more time to spend with her. The only difficulty I can see is the financial side."

Alfred sat straight. "That isn't too much of a concern. I have savings, and Lord Halkyn has provided for Frederica's future, so that is not the worry it might have been. I do not need much to live on."

"Well, it is settled then. I shall write to inform Lord and Lady Dunham," Charles said, happy that his scheme had been so easily accepted.

"Do you not need references? After all, you may know me, but Lord Dunham does not," Alfred said, everything moving a little fast for him.

"He is quick to a.s.sess someone, he would not have helped you already if he did not feel that you were worthy. That, along with my recommendation will be enough," Charles a.s.sured him. "You will have a lot of hard work over the coming months, it won't be easy initially, especially as Martha and I will be leaving tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Alfred asked, surprised for the second time in almost as many minutes. "That's a little sudden isn't it?"

"Yes, but Martha has been notified of a family event that she wishes to attend on the return journey to Dunham House. We have been gone for some time, longer than I think we all had antic.i.p.ated when we started this journey," Charles acknowledged.

"Yes, you have been very accommodating, I never expected so much when I approached Lord Dunham," Alfred said humbly. He knew the Lord and his staff had gone above and beyond anything he had hoped for when he initially approached him. It had been an act of desperation on his part when needing to get Laura to safety.

"Laura did something that deserved help, it was unfair that it ended the way it did. At least this way, there is a small bit of satisfaction at the way events have turned out," Charles said.

"Thank you on behalf of myself and my daughter," Alfred responded with feeling.

Martha and Charles left early the following morning. Martha was eager to see her family, as it had been a few years since she had visited and she was keen for the journey to be over. She had been sad to leave Alfred and Frederica, but she knew that they had a life that was now secure.

She lay her head on the padded coach wall of the coach as it left Home Farm behind. "I feel many years older than when I arrived here," she said with a sigh.

"Yes, it hasn't been an easy time for you," Charles responded.

"I think the appropriate response should be 'you don't look a day older, Martha', rather than agreeing with me," Martha could not resist teasing with a smile.

Charles laughed, "You know that I am useless at the flowery language that our betters use."

"Thank goodness," Martha said with feeling. "Some of the nonsense I heard spouted to Lady Dunham before she was married, made my toes curl with embarra.s.sment that the gentleman uttering the words thought it was acceptable to voice such nonsense."

Charles smiled, "My ever practical Martha," he said with affection, "No inane flattery for you."

Martha looked out of the window. She was not the type of woman that wanted false words, but once upon a time she had hoped to meet the man of her dreams, who would sweep her off her feet and look after her, cherish her and love her. How differently life turned out sometimes, and how foolish and nave were those dreams.

She was roused from her thoughts by Charles, moving his hand and covering hers. "You are not the only one to feel older than when they first came," Charles said quietly, his eyes looking seriously into Martha's. "I still have nightmares about you being hurt, and if I should forget for a few moments, I only need to see your neck to be reminded of how close you were to being lost."

Martha touched the scar on her neck which was disappearing, but had not yet completely vanished. She was a little unsure of what to say to Charles, so just squeezed his hand in return and smiled at him. The Charles she had used to argue with, was far easier to deal with than the Charles that made her insides burn and her mouth dry, robbing her of the use of her brain and ability to form words. That Charles was a far more difficult concept to understand.

Chapter 23.

Martha and Charles arrived to a household that was busy with wedding preparations. Martha's mother was even a.s.serting herself and leaving her bedroom, something that she had not done for years. The two youngest boys would not be attending the wedding as they were at sea, but Susan was delighted that her sister had joined the party.

The two sisters slept in the room they had shared since Susan had left the cradle. Martha resumed her duty of brus.h.i.+ng out her sister's hair when they retired to bed.

"Your gentleman seems a pleasant man," Martha said, finally glad to be able to speak to her sister alone.

"He is lovely," Susan sighed. "We aren't going to have riches, but I'm sure we are going to be happy."

Martha smiled at her sister, it was obvious that both parties adored each other, they barely looked at anyone else when in each other's company. Martha had only spoken briefly to Mr Horan, her future brother, but he seemed a steady young man. "You don't need riches to be happy, but surely you will be comfortable?" she asked.

"Oh yes," Susan a.s.sured her. "Robert is the third son, but his uncle has a t.i.tle and has promised him a living. He will be a fine clergyman. We hope that one day there may be the opportunity for more than one living, but we are happy to wait."

Martha smiled, Susan was romantic about the whole situation. They might not be so patient if the living was small, but she was not going to spoil her sister's happiness by being the voice of reality. "I'm sure you will be very content and I hope Mr Horan soon receives another living."

"It doesn't matter, I am used to living on virtually nothing," Susan said, with what sounded like a little bitterness. "At least by marrying, I won't need to hand over most of my earnings to Thomas. I don't know how you have done it all these years!"

"Susan!" Martha said shocked. "We are a family, we all need to contribute," she chided her sister.

"Be honest Martha," Susan said, turning to her sister. "Don't you think that Thomas has become a little too accustomed to everyone contributing to his income? Yes, mother costs him sometimes when she needs medication, but she has no other expenses, she never leaves the house and buys no clothing. With the dowry that Alice brought to the marriage and the little income that the land brings, he should not be asking for so much from us."

"It is sometimes difficult, to send so much," Martha acknowledged, remembering how desperate she felt at Thomas's request for her savings.

"Difficult? It has been downright impossible!" Susan exploded. "What is going to happen when we all marry? What will Thomas do then?"

"I don't know," Martha responded, admitting to herself that it was something that she had not considered. There might be no hope that she would marry, but it was highly likely that her brothers would.

"He's changed Martha, you will see for yourself," Susan said.

Martha was to find that Susan was correct, her amiable brother had changed substantially in the years since she had seen him. He constantly spoke about money, no matter who the audience was, something that mortified Martha when Charles was in earshot. Thomas reminded them incessantly of what burdens he had, and of how he had been held back by the actions of their father. By the end of the second day, Martha was ready to scream at him about them all being affected, but she held her counsel. No one would appreciate her spoiling Susan's day, so she gritted her teeth and tried to nod sympathetically.

Susan's wedding day arrived, bright and clear. Martha dressed carefully in a gown, which although it was not her best, (that still being at Dunham House), was acceptable for the occasion. It was a deep peach that was edged in white lace. The colour suited her, it made her look more olive skinned, whereas the same colour may have drained other complexions. The lace added to the dress' elegance, rather than adding edging for the sake of it. Susan had insisted on dressing Martha's hair, making it into a softer style than the practical one she usually wore.

Martha followed the bride down the aisle, acting as a maid of honour. Susan had dressed in a cream gown, with lilac flowers. Charles stood in one of the pews with the other guests, but if questioned could not have described the bride's apparel. He was too busy staring at the maid of honour, to notice anything else.

Martha glowed as she walked down the aisle. She looked younger and softer than she did in her work dresses, with a tight bun on the top of her head. Although Charles had always thought her striking, he thought she was stunning as she smiled at him, when she caught his eye. She blushed a little, which made something inside of him curl. He wanted to jump over the pews and push the bride and groom out of the way, forcing the clergyman to marry the two of them instead. How he wished at that moment, in addition to many others, that she had taken his proposal in the spirit he had offered it.

The wedding breakfast went off without a hitch and the bride and groom took their leave. They were to take a short break in Wales before moving in to their vicarage. The guests waved off the carriage, before returning to the house.

Martha noticed that her mother was no longer looking as well as she had done throughout the morning and approached her. "Mama, do you need to rest?" she asked gently, in order not to bring any attention to them both.

"I need to return to my bedchamber, I can feel the start of something coming on," came the pained voice that Martha was familiar with.

"Perhaps it will not take hold," Martha said, trying to be positive and rouse her parent from accepting that she was heading into a decline. "You have looked so well these last few days."

"I did not want to worry Susan," came the self-pitying reply. "I need to see the apothecary, I need some medication. Can you ask Thomas to send for him? Mr Wood always knows what I need."

Martha a.s.sured her mother that she would ask her brother to send for the apothecary and helped her into bed. She suspected that being an invalid was now more of a habit than anything else, because she had looked so healthy during the run up to the wedding and been as involved as any of them had been. Martha was not sure of what the solution was, but approached the drawing room to speak to her brother with trepidation.

The guests had left by the time Martha returned. Thomas was sitting with his wife, Alice, eating some of the fancies that were left over from the breakfast. Martha cleared her throat.

"Thomas, Mother is asking for the apothecary to be sent for," she started.

"She usually wants him after exerting herself," Alice said with a sigh.

"I'm sure there is still some medication left from last time, ask her maid to give her that," Thomas said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "She will soon stop asking for him."

"How often does he visit?" Martha asked.

"I've started just requesting the medication, it's cheaper that way," Thomas responded. "Which brings me on to your contributions," he said, looking at Martha.

"What about them?" Martha asked stiffly. She had to admit to understanding Susan's bitterness when looking at the standard of living that Thomas and Alice shared. Even taking into account the burden of their mother on their finances, they lived very well.

"Susan is refusing to pay any more towards the upkeep of her home," Thomas said with disgust.

"She is married now!" Martha exclaimed. "This is no longer her home and she can hardly ask her husband to support this house, when they will have very little to live on themselves." Martha was astounded that her brother would even contemplate such a thing. Susan had been correct, he had changed beyond all recognition. Where was the brother who was concerned about condemning his sisters to a life in service? It was as if he had never existed, when looking at the man sat before her.

"There are only the two of them, they can live very cheaply," Thomas snapped.

"And there are only the three of you," Martha snapped back. "And I seem to recall that Alice brought with her a dowry, while Susan has not had that benefit."

"Anyway, we are digressing," Thomas said, with yet another dismissive wave of his hand. A habit that Martha was beginning to detest. "Because of Susan's refusal to continue to support us, I shall need you to increase your contributions," he said without a flicker of embarra.s.sment or shame.

Martha stared at her brother in disbelief, "You cannot be serious, surely?"

"Why not? We need a certain level of income. You are earning, therefore you need to provide more," Thomas said, choosing another fancy. He was acting as it was as if his request was perfectly reasonable.

"Thomas I cannot afford to send any more money," Martha said, quietly, but firmly.