The Andy Warhol Diaries Part 50

Tuesday, March 19, 1985 Paige said she had tickets for Desperately Seeking Susan Desperately Seeking Susan, which was screening on 86th Street. So she waited and then we went to Nippon (cab $4). Madonna doesn't have much to do. She doesn't talk in the first part. But later on she does some good things, she sleeps in the bathtub and dresses up and shoplifts. It's like those sixties movies but the opposite-the sixties movies had too much sixties and not enough story, and this has too much story and not enough eighties. It was boring.

Wednesday, March 20, 1985 Amos has a crushed vertebra. At first the vet said it was a sore leg and then he said a slipped disc. So I slept on the floor with him last night. I'm on the floor now, still, with the phone, being a martyr.

So then I was working on the Joan Collins portrait and on some other stuff, and then a big four-page telegram came from The Love Boat The Love Boat saying that they wanted to show all my art on saying that they wanted to show all my art on The Love Boat The Love Boat, too. The story is that I go on The Love Boat The Love Boat and there's a girl on the boat named Mary with her husband, and she used to be a superstar of mine, and she doesn't want her husband to know that she used to be "Marina Del Rey." And I just have a few lines, things like "h.e.l.lo, Mary." But one of the lines I have to say is something like "Art is cra.s.s commercialism," which I don't want to say. and there's a girl on the boat named Mary with her husband, and she used to be a superstar of mine, and she doesn't want her husband to know that she used to be "Marina Del Rey." And I just have a few lines, things like "h.e.l.lo, Mary." But one of the lines I have to say is something like "Art is cra.s.s commercialism," which I don't want to say.

PH will be in L.A. then, too, so we can do some work there on the Party Party book-photograph the Academy Awards and the book-photograph the Academy Awards and the Love Boat Love Boat thing. I'll be at the Bel Air. thing. I'll be at the Bel Air.

Then went to the Whitney for the opening of the Biennial and waited outside for Jean Michel. He had a new smile on his face. We went downstairs and upstairs and saw Kenny Scharf and his wife and it was wall-to-wall four floors. And a woman stopped Jean Michel and was raving and raving about him saying, "This is my favorite artist. My husband and I, you're our favorite artist," and I'm standing there, and I offer her an autographed Interview Interview and she says, "No." and she says, "No."

Then we went down to this place on Eighth Avenue and 14th Street, where Jean Michel gets rice and beans, just one of those dirty ratholes that I say I would never eat in, but it was so good that I did.

And then we called up Paul, the exercise trainer who works for Lidija, and we were right near his apartment which is right off Abingdon Square down there, a nice neighborhood, and so we went over there, and G.o.d, it's so strange when you finally see where a person lives, and it's just so ... I mean, it's this one room, and he's been subletting it for a year or so, and now the woman who he sublet it from is back and she's about forty, and like a hippie who wants to get backing for a restaurant, and their beds are just like next to each other, and they aren't in the apartment at the same time, like you feel you can't go home when the other one is there, so you feel like you're not really living anyplace I guess that that's when your life is really interesting, though, because it keeps you out there in action and getting into weird situations. But I mean, I go from that, and then I come back up here to (laughs) this (laughs) this, it's so abstract. You know? But I don't understand why he could leave the place like such a dump. They should just get futons and not waste s.p.a.ce with the beds. And it would really only have taken a couple of hours to pick the place up once while she was gone in Europe all that time.

And then we went to Area. Jean Michel has the right walk to pa.s.s right through the crowd. He made me go to the bathroom there, the men's room, and it's so funny there, there are girls putting on makeup in the mirrors and the men are p.i.s.sing in the urinals and it'd be great if it weren't that it smelled like s.h.i.+t. It's just my kind of movie. I guess the ladies room is the same way except without the urinals. Then I got out of there and went home. Oh, and that lady at the Whitney who was so thrilled over Jean Michel, she got him to sign a picture of the painting. That's as good as signing it, and then you paste it to the back. That's why Leo sends me up photographs sometimes.

Sat.u.r.day, March 23, 1985 Worked, went to Karen Burke's (cab $4). And I followed Garbo around the streets. Took pictures of her. I'm pretty sure it was her. She had the dark gla.s.ses and the big coat and pants on and the mouth, and she went into a Trader Horn store to talk to a woman about TVs. Just the kind of thing she would do. So I took pictures of her until I thought she would get mad and then I walked downtown, (laughs) (laughs) I was alone, too. I was alone, too.

Stayed up all night until 5:10 getting ready for the next day to go to California for The Love Boat The Love Boat and now maybe a c.o.ke commercial, too. and now maybe a c.o.ke commercial, too.

Sunday, March 24, 1985-New York-Los Angeles Placido Domingo was on our plane and he was nice, he came over and talked (newspapers $6). Beverly Sills was on, too. And Fred said Alan King was on and said h.e.l.lo but I didn't see him. Then a white limousine picked us up and took us to the Bel Air Hotel. And as we were going in Philip Johnson and David Whitney were walking out. Philip's here to give a lecture at one of the colleges. Went to the Beverly Hills Hotel pool, and everybody from New York was there-Laura Landro who writes the movie stuff for the Wall Street Journal Wall Street Journal and Susan Mulcahy, and Ahmet Ertegun and Mark Goodson. and Susan Mulcahy, and Ahmet Ertegun and Mark Goodson.

Monday, March 25, 1985-Los Angeles Got up early and The Love Boat The Love Boat at first wasn't sending a car. They said it "wasn't in the contract." They wanted me to take a cab. But Fred talked to them. And when we got here, since they didn't have a room reserved for Fred, I'm wondering if they're paying for his. I think they must be. So I went to the wardrobe place and ordered a pair of Reebok shoes, but I only ordered one and I should've ordered more. And the kid who came to pick me up, I asked if he was trying to be an actor, and he said, "Oh no, I'm Captain of the Cars." He was very cute. We drove to the old Goldwyn Studios on Santa Monica near La Brea. at first wasn't sending a car. They said it "wasn't in the contract." They wanted me to take a cab. But Fred talked to them. And when we got here, since they didn't have a room reserved for Fred, I'm wondering if they're paying for his. I think they must be. So I went to the wardrobe place and ordered a pair of Reebok shoes, but I only ordered one and I should've ordered more. And the kid who came to pick me up, I asked if he was trying to be an actor, and he said, "Oh no, I'm Captain of the Cars." He was very cute. We drove to the old Goldwyn Studios on Santa Monica near La Brea.

These places are so cold, you sit around freezing all day in these soundstages, and it's no wonder people want to be actors because the only place it's warm is under the lights.

So then I was done there and they brought me back to the hotel, and then Suzanne Somers had told Doug Christmas that she just had had to have lunch with us, so we went to meet her at Ma Maison and then she cancelled. But Orson Welles was there at his own table and he said he wanted to meet me and I went over and he was just great, really great, and he's a person I would like to interview myself. And then afterwards we went to Doug's place and Roy Lichtenstein was there signing some things, so that was exciting. to have lunch with us, so we went to meet her at Ma Maison and then she cancelled. But Orson Welles was there at his own table and he said he wanted to meet me and I went over and he was just great, really great, and he's a person I would like to interview myself. And then afterwards we went to Doug's place and Roy Lichtenstein was there signing some things, so that was exciting.

And then Jon met us and took us to the Beverly Hills for drinks. The taxis from there to the Bel Air are expensive ($8). Got dressed and went over to Spago where Swifty Lazar was having his party for the Academy Awards. And the traffic was so bad, it took so long to get over there. It's on Sunset above Tower Records. I had to sign like 800 autographs. All the press was there like Susan Mulcahy and Barbara Howar. And Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart came and just everybody came after the awards. Faye Dunaway and Raquel Welch and just everybody.

Tuesday, March 26, 1985-Los Angeles Got up really early. The paper had me as the big star at Swifty's. Got picked up to go to The Love Boat The Love Boat set. Had to do my "h.e.l.lo, Mary" line, and the gay director is saying, "Give it some pizzazz-Hel-lo, Ma-ry!" And I say, "Hel-lo, Ma-ry." set. Had to do my "h.e.l.lo, Mary" line, and the gay director is saying, "Give it some pizzazz-Hel-lo, Ma-ry!" And I say, "Hel-lo, Ma-ry."

PH met me there and we sat in the dressing room for a couple of hours while they rearranged the lights or whatever they do. My Stephen Sprouse jackets were there on the wardrobe rack and when I wear them, I think I finally look like people want Andy Warhol to look again, and now I'm thinking I should've worn the silver one the night before to Spago and that when I'm out of New York I should forget all this black-tie stuff and just go for flash. Talked with PH about movies and abstract ways to do scripts.

Made a phone call to Jon and he said that s.h.i.+rley MacLaine was trying to call me because she was really upset about the little banner headline on the interview he did with her in the Health issue. It said: "Metaphysical Madam." And Jon shouldn't have gone over to her and said, "It's not my fault," because that's the wrong negative thing to do. She never would've even noticed it or thought about it, probably, and now she's up in arms. I don't even know why. What does "Madam" mean? I mean, it's just a regular word. And the introduction I guess Gael wrote, and it's just all stuff from other places. Jon wrote one and they didn't like it, they said it had too much of himself in it-Gael told him, "You are not Arianna Sta.s.sinopoulos."

Went back to the Bel Air and had dinner there with Vincent and Andrew Friendly, Fred Friendly's son, who's trying to sell our TV show. And he talks about his "lady" and who in their right mind would talk that way. It was a good dinner and he paid.

And Joanna Carson came over to say h.e.l.lo and she's so beautiful. We talked about her son and his career.

Wednesday, March 27, 1985-Los Angeles s.h.i.+rley MacLaine was calling me and I didn't call her back, so then she called Gael Love in New York and told the receptionist, "Let me talk to Gael Hate." And now she's telling Gael that she wants to see the sources for everything that was in the introduction to her interview. Fred said he'd call s.h.i.+rley and smooth it out.

So I finally finished shooting that day's scenes on The Love Boat The Love Boat. Got back to the hotel so late, and then Fred and I went over to Doug Cramer's, right above the Bel Air Hotel in this big house that they're adding rooms to to make it even bigger. And Linda Evans was there and Joan Collins and Morgan Fairchild and James Brolin, and the s.h.i.+p captain from The Love Boat The Love Boat-the bald guy.

And Calvin came in right from a plane and said that he wasn't going to have his big party at Steve Rubell's new club for its opening. He said he's spent six months trying to get a new image and he doesn't want to blow it. I told him that I'd bought a bottle of Obsession, one of the first, and he said why did I go and do that when he'd sent me one and I said that I'd gotten the one he sent after I'd already bought one.

It was 10:30 before dinner started. And s.h.i.+rlee Fonda is still in love with the playwright guy, Neil Simon. And Doug Cramer's friend made me take pictures with his 3-D camera. Marcia Weisman was with her new friend. There were beautiful dogs. Thomas Ammann was there, and Jody Jacobs from the L.A. Times L.A. Times, and the Spellings.

And then we went to Mr. Chow's because Jean Michel had decided to give his own party there since he hadn't been invited to the Cramer one. And he had all these really cute boys and girls there.

Thursday, March 28, 1985-Los Angeles Jean Michel was really sweet and sent over a drawing for me. He's gone off to Hawaii.

Had a day off from The Love Boat The Love Boat.

The couple from A&M records, the Mosses, came for a portrait, and the wife was puffy around the eyes and we had to wait for her eyes to go down.

Went over to Tony and Berry Perkins's in one of the canyons. They have a big house, six bedrooms. There's really a lot of traffic. Where Jon's house is there's absolutely no traffic. And Tony cooked the dinner and listen to what it was-meatloaf and polenta and bread pudding. It's been so long since I've eaten like that. Not since the fifties when people were poor. He uses this new cookbook that has a lot of recipes from the forties and fifties like Rice Krispies Squares. It's called something like short-cut cooking. Wendy Stark was there and she wasn't so cheerful, maybe it was just because she wasn't drinking. Sue Mengers was fun, blabbing away, and her husband was with her. They have Indian rugs. And Tony asked after Chris Makos. Berry was kissy and huggy. Nick and Lisa Love were there. We stayed until about 11:00 and then went back to the hotel.

Friday, March 29, 1985-Los Angeles They picked me up at 6:00 to take me to the set. The same cute driver. I wish he was a fairy, but he isn't. He's trying to make all the girls. And they all have Barbie doll bodies! You can't believe them. No hips and big t.i.ts. He's just divorced and says he's a "country boy," he lives "in the Valley" or someplace like that. Jay is his name. The Captain of the Cars. And he sits there and does crossword puzzles all day when he's not driving. And I said, "Don't you want to further your career? If you can do crossword puzzles, you can direct." direct."

I had to sign autographs for all the girl actresses and dancers. I was finished by 9:30. Marion Ross from Happy Days Happy Days plays the ex-superstar, and she's a little old to play an ex-sixties superstar, but I really love her so much. She's a wonderful person, and she helps me, she has so much love. And when we do a scene together, she does great facial things that help me do my lines. And actually, though, Ultra Violet's probably older than Marion. plays the ex-superstar, and she's a little old to play an ex-sixties superstar, but I really love her so much. She's a wonderful person, and she helps me, she has so much love. And when we do a scene together, she does great facial things that help me do my lines. And actually, though, Ultra Violet's probably older than Marion.

And then we went over to the Dynasty Dynasty soundstage and tried to see Catherine Oxenberg but she said she was in an accident and was crying and didn't want to see us, I don't know. I bet she just had a fight with her boyfriend. soundstage and tried to see Catherine Oxenberg but she said she was in an accident and was crying and didn't want to see us, I don't know. I bet she just had a fight with her boyfriend.

Then they took me downtown to do the Diet c.o.ke commercial. And there was a float and about eight ex-Miss Americas or Miss Universes and all the police were l.u.s.ting after them, and I was wearing my Stephen Sprouse jacket. And one of the girls in a bathing suit said that she had been in Walter Steding's group. And I went and waited in my own private mobile trailer and I used the bathroom and that was fun, and then I guess the word the crew uses for the actors is "talent" and so one girl opened the trailer door and said, "Where's the talent?" and she looked around and didn't see any I guess, so she left. I don't know, I guess she didn't recognize me. And we were on a big float with pansies. The girls sat on the pansies, and I had to say, "Diet c.o.ke," and I drank it for the first time.

Later went to Wendy Stark's dinner for Sharon Hammond. Dennis Hopper was there, very straight. I asked him to reshoot all the photos he took in the sixties and we would run them in Interview Interview. Shoot Peter Fonda again and all those people. Wouldn't that be good?

And Wendy made curry with her own hands. n.o.body ate it except Fred. And they brought out banana-cream cake for Sharon's birthday. In the day we were shopping for a present for her and all I did was get things for myself, so I gave her an I.O.U. It's so strange to see Sharon away from New York and Southampton. She was wearing a dress from North Beach Leather, it looked like rubber.

Oh, and Ron Perelman is out here and he said, "I want to have a big talk with you. I want to buy your magazine for my wife. Who do I talk to?" And I said, "Fred." For Claudia, he wants it.

Sat.u.r.day, March 30, 1985-Los Angeles Went to be photographed for an L.A. Eye works ad at 4:00. And one of the women owners was there and this fat queen named Teddy was doing my hair and after he left someone told me that that was the one Joe Dallesandro was living with for years and may be back living with again, and I went crazy-because it would've been so much fun if only I'd known. Joe would would go and live with a fat queen hairdresser just to be perverse. go and live with a fat queen hairdresser just to be perverse.

Went to Spago for dinner. Gene Kelly was there with his son, and his son said he'd see us later at Brad Branson's party (dinner $300). So after dinner we went to Crenshaw Avenue way in the black area of L.A. where Brad Branson who does photographs for Interview Interview was giving his second weekly party. He's doing it like a club, but with friends' names on the list. And it was actually great, he had all the cute kids there and it was two floors and a garden part and some people said that Madonna had been there right before we got there. Fred was with Rupert Everett, and Nando Scarfiotti was there, and Susan Pile and Paul Jasmin and Toni Basil. And all these kids were coming over to me, and it was fun. I was keeping an eye out for someone to fill the new vacancy as my New York Wife. And Mary Woronov was there and I never have anything to say to Mary. I can't ever really forgive her for being such a creep about was giving his second weekly party. He's doing it like a club, but with friends' names on the list. And it was actually great, he had all the cute kids there and it was two floors and a garden part and some people said that Madonna had been there right before we got there. Fred was with Rupert Everett, and Nando Scarfiotti was there, and Susan Pile and Paul Jasmin and Toni Basil. And all these kids were coming over to me, and it was fun. I was keeping an eye out for someone to fill the new vacancy as my New York Wife. And Mary Woronov was there and I never have anything to say to Mary. I can't ever really forgive her for being such a creep about Chelsea Girls Chelsea Girls in the sixties, for demanding money-saying she wouldn't sign a release until she got it. She squeezed around $1,000 out of us. She was talking to that screenwriter named Becky Johnson-she's a friend of Jon's. She and Mary were both in the in the sixties, for demanding money-saying she wouldn't sign a release until she got it. She squeezed around $1,000 out of us. She was talking to that screenwriter named Becky Johnson-she's a friend of Jon's. She and Mary were both in the GQ GQ article on "The Most Eligible Women in Hollywood." Whatever that means. The most desperate, I guess. article on "The Most Eligible Women in Hollywood." Whatever that means. The most desperate, I guess.

Sunday, March 31, 1985-Los Angeles In the morning we went to look at buildings all along Sunset for a new Interview Interview office. We looked at one big elephant that's $800,000 and there's one for $1 million and one for $400,000. So that took a long time. office. We looked at one big elephant that's $800,000 and there's one for $1 million and one for $400,000. So that took a long time.

Then it was the night of the big Love Boat Love Boat Thousandth Guest Star party at the Beverly Hilton. Fred was taking Rupert Everett but at the last minute Rupert cancelled, he said, "My tuxedo is crumpled." And Jon picked me up and we went over there. Had my picture taken for fifteen minutes with Joan Collins, who then never went in to the dinner, I don't think, because n.o.body saw her in there. But it was just packed. Thousandth Guest Star party at the Beverly Hilton. Fred was taking Rupert Everett but at the last minute Rupert cancelled, he said, "My tuxedo is crumpled." And Jon picked me up and we went over there. Had my picture taken for fifteen minutes with Joan Collins, who then never went in to the dinner, I don't think, because n.o.body saw her in there. But it was just packed.

One of Aaron Spelling's daughters was at our table, in her teens or twenties, and Troy Donahue who now has short blond-white hair. I reminded him of that time in the early seventies when he came up to 33 Union Square. He said, "What you guys did to me that day! Your elevator was broken so I had to go up in the freight elevator in the back, and it opened into this dark room where you were screening a movie and I had to walk out from behind behind the projection screen, and everybody was the projection screen, and everybody was facing facing the screen watching movies, and I stumbled over everybody sitting on the floor in the dark, and I was on acid...." the screen watching movies, and I stumbled over everybody sitting on the floor in the dark, and I was on acid...."

They introduced a lot of stars and then finally out came Lana Turner, the thousandth guest star, who had given them a hard time by being so late, and that's why dinner was late. And then they brought me up on the stage with Carol Channing and Ginger Rogers and Mary Martin. And for some reason they didn't mention the portrait they commissioned me to do of Lana. But it's finally scheduled for me to shoot the picture on Thursday.

Peter Duchin's orchestra played. He's another one of the guest stars on the boat this week. So it's Peter Duchin, Tom Bosley, Marion Ross, Cloris Leachman, Andy Griffith, Raymond St. Jacques, Milton Berle, and me.

And signed a lot of autographs for the kooky autograph hounds of Hollywood. PH and I both took pictures for the Party Party book. book.

Monday, April 1, 1985-Los Angeles Got picked up at 8:15 to go to The Love Boat The Love Boat. Flubbed my lines in the morning, felt bad about it. Worked all day. Andy Griffith seems bitter to be on The Love Boat The Love Boat. PH came by about 2:00 and we went into the makeup room and she opened up her mouth and said, "So who's playing your drag queen?" and Raymond St. Jacques whirled around in his chair and gave her a withering look and said, "It's not not a 'drag queen.'" And there he was with lipstick on and everything, and in the original script it had a 'drag queen.'" And there he was with lipstick on and everything, and in the original script it had called called the role a drag queen. the role a drag queen.

Then went back on the set and did the scene where I had to walk up to the reception desk with Raymond St. Jacques and my "entourage," and then as we're walking off, the Love Boat Love Boat girl asks Raymond St. Jacques, "How does an artist know when a painting is really successful?" And he says, "When the check clears." And once they did it wrong and it was better-she said, "When is a painting really girl asks Raymond St. Jacques, "How does an artist know when a painting is really successful?" And he says, "When the check clears." And once they did it wrong and it was better-she said, "When is a painting really finished." finished." Finally I was done there, about 6:00. Finally I was done there, about 6:00.

Tuesday, April 2, 1985-Los Angeles Got up at 5:00 and was picked up by my driver, Jay, at 6:15. Worked all day, had a scene with Tom Bosley. Got done pretty early, then went to a big signing of Interviews Interviews at a bar called Nippers in the Rodeo Mall, and it was jammed. I sat upstairs and signed and signed. And Fred was downstairs and he started drinking and continued drinking, I don't know why. Some people brought old issues for me to sign-like from the first year-the Helmut Berger at a bar called Nippers in the Rodeo Mall, and it was jammed. I sat upstairs and signed and signed. And Fred was downstairs and he started drinking and continued drinking, I don't know why. Some people brought old issues for me to sign-like from the first year-the Helmut Berger d.a.m.ned d.a.m.ned one, and the Elvis one and the Raquel Welch one. And actually I think they were ruining them to have me sign them. And John Stockwell/Samuels was there looking really good, and he was just in from North Carolina where he was shooting a miniseries, one, and the Elvis one and the Raquel Welch one. And actually I think they were ruining them to have me sign them. And John Stockwell/Samuels was there looking really good, and he was just in from North Carolina where he was shooting a miniseries, North and South North and South with Liz Taylor. with Liz Taylor.

It was just mobbed with people. Lots of young kids, didn't know many of them. Molly Ringwald came. Lots of champagne. And then went back to the Bel Air with PH who was keeping me company because I was depressed. Jon went back to New York, I guess he didn't want to be linked with me in L.A. He never gave me keys to his new house, so I guess I'll never be staying there, and I'm ... Oh, I don't know. Life is interesting, I guess.

Wednesday, April 3, 1985-Los Angeles Got driven to The Love Boat The Love Boat. Talked to Ted McGinley until we broke for lunch. He's so good-looking and really charming, all these people out here are. The wardrobe guy at the studio is really nice to all the stars and never has a bad word to say. He told PH, "Everyone here just loves Andy," so that made me feel good.

And then PH and I walked to Melrose and to the antique stores. And then we went to L.A. Eyeworks and I picked out some more gla.s.ses. About six pairs.

Had to work until 9:30 on the set, and then the driver took me back, and gee those guys are so nice. And Fred had already gone to dinner at Sue Mengers's, so I followed, and Barbra Streisand was there and she was dropping names like Archipenko, the sculptor, and she said that Steve Ross sends them to her, sends her all these valuable things after she admires them in his place. And she asked how much a portrait was, and I said I just couldn't talk about price, and she asked Fred and he said $25,000 and she said, "Oh really? So cheap?" And she turned to her Baskin-Robbins boyfriend, and said, "Maybe we should buy one for Steve."

Barbra's really skinny but she had three helpings of curry. And she looks great. She has her hair straight now and her dress showed everything in the right way. But I think this boyfriend is the one who directed the horrible video for the song she has out now, "Emotion," but I'm not sure. And she's suing her building in New York because of the roof-it leaks. It's at 92nd and Central Park West and she didn't even remember that she'd invited me to a party there, this was about seven or nine years ago-Jed and I went-and she said, "I knew you? Were you famous then, when you came to my party?" As if she would've invited me if I weren't. And I felt like telling her, "Yes I was there, and you had name tags stuck on all the food like a delicatessen- 'chopped liver' and 'gefilte fish,' and I don't know, 'halvah.' " It was getting to that point where I might as well have. I told her, "Oh your jewelry is so small, Barbra, why don't you get bigger things?" And she said, "Oy! I bought diamonds for $60,000 a carat and the next day they dropped to $20,000!" And it's true, it really happened like that about three years ago. But I told her that the day they went down to $20,000 she should've bought three more and cut her losses. And Sean Connery was there but I didn't talk to him. And Alan Ladd, Jr., who looked sensational.

And they all talk about Jews trying to be WASPs and they were talking about Woody Allen and Mia Farrow and really putting down Mia.

Thursday, April 4, 1985-Los Angeles Went to The Love Boat The Love Boat just to drop off some posters, the Indian posters, because there's a lot of people I'd missed when I gave them out the day before, and I could tell who they were because they stopped speaking to me, they thought I'd pa.s.sed over them. just to drop off some posters, the Indian posters, because there's a lot of people I'd missed when I gave them out the day before, and I could tell who they were because they stopped speaking to me, they thought I'd pa.s.sed over them.

Then we went back to the hotel to meet Lana. And she was adorable to me. She was tipsy and it was like a whole different person. I closed my eyes and it was like being with Paulette, that kind of att.i.tude. She said, "Give me a kiss." And Lana does crystals, too. And she had a cracked rib which she blamed on a Nolan Miller dress she had that made her trip, but I think she must have been drunk. She wears a little quarter-inch cross.

Oh, and on The Love Boat The Love Boat the last day, Andy Griffith suddenly got really happy, very friendly to everybody, and n.o.body could figure it out after he'd been so bitter all week. He must've had a drink. the last day, Andy Griffith suddenly got really happy, very friendly to everybody, and n.o.body could figure it out after he'd been so bitter all week. He must've had a drink.

Friday, April 5, 1985-Los Angeles-New York So twelve days of bliss at the most beautiful hotel in the world were coming to an end and then they really really came to an end when we got the $9,500 hotel bill. We had to pay half of it. I think we were charged for service and for Fred's room. But we got lots of portraits. The Spelling wife and Doug Cramer and Lana. came to an end when we got the $9,500 hotel bill. We had to pay half of it. I think we were charged for service and for Fred's room. But we got lots of portraits. The Spelling wife and Doug Cramer and Lana.

So the car came and took us to Regent Air. It's just $100 more than first cla.s.s. It's $800. There were only fifteen people. And you really feel the turbulence on a small plane. On the 747s you don't feel anything. The only famous person was Mark Goodson. The rest were just grand types-a woman who looked like Milton Berle and a guy with gold chains so he must have been a Hollywood writer or something (tip $50). They'd showed two movies in succession on the flight-Protocol and and The Cotton Club The Cotton Club-and both of them weren't hits, but you could see quality in them so it was sad. And the bathrooms on Regent are three times the size of a normal bathroom. And there was a girl with a portfolio, either a model or a wh.o.r.e or something, just bubbling and enthusiastic. And they come and scramble your eggs right in front of you. When we arrived in New York the airline had twenty limos waiting. Tipped the driver $20.

So got in and it was 6:00 in the evening in New York and that really throws you off. I hate it. You're dead tired but you feel like you have to have your day. And you call people up but it's Easter weekend and everybody's out of town. But then the phone rang and it was Cornelia inviting me to dinner at Le Cirque with Jane Holzer. Cornelia is now going out with Eric Goode of Area, she says he's trying to break up with Elizabeth Saltzman whose mother runs Saks.

Monday, April 8, 1985 Went to Dr. Bernsohn. I'm supposed to arrange a date with Dr. Karen Burke for him. He's straight. The last girlfriend he had was a body builder but then he dropped her when she became a healer, because he said he couldn't see her healing other people and absorbing all their things and then putting her hands all over his body after sucking all that up. It's interesting, isn't it? Left twenty-five copies of Interview Interview there. I couldn't have him included in our Health issue because treating with crystals isn't legit. there. I couldn't have him included in our Health issue because treating with crystals isn't legit.

Jean Michel's still away on his vacation with Eric-from-Area's-sister Jennifer. They went to Hong Kong, maybe. I wonder when they're coming back? I mean, how long can you suck d.i.c.k? ... Oh, I don't know, I guess I've missed out on a lot in life-never pickups on the street or anything like that. I feel life has pa.s.sed me by (phone calls $2).

Ther it was busy at the office. Iolas was coming. Then it was too light on the top floor to trace, then it got dark and rained and then it got light again.

Ran into Crazy Matty on 74th Street and he gave me $.25 and he went crazy because (laughs) (laughs) I took it. I took it.

Cabbed home ($6) and got off at the corner because I like to walk in from the block but I'm not going to do it anymore because out of the shadows jumped Matty, he was waiting in a doorway, and I couldn't get in fast enough, he caught me. He went away easily, but I'm not going to risk it anymore. It means that anybody anybody could come after me like that. He said he needs a job. So I went it and I had four Reese's peanut b.u.t.ter cups and a garlic sandwich and I left the TV on and woke up to could come after me like that. He said he needs a job. So I went it and I had four Reese's peanut b.u.t.ter cups and a garlic sandwich and I left the TV on and woke up to Sunrise News Sunrise News.

Thursday, April 11, 1985 Somebody came by the office and was telling me about the book Dotson Rader wrote on Tennessee Williams so I sent Michael Walsh out to get it ($18.75). And he had all this made-up stuff in it, like that Edie was giving a b.l.o.w. .j.o.b to somebody and also eating a girl's p.u.s.s.y, which would never be true. And then he said that Tennessee just loved Joe Dallesandro so when Joe went up to see him Tennessee did his fainting number so Joe would have to hold him in his arms. G.o.d, I just always thought Dotson Rader was a CIA person. Just that creepy type. And now he's gone from the Carters to walking Pat Lawford. I mean, how we met him, in like '69, was he took b.l.o.w.j.o.b b.l.o.w.j.o.b up to screen at Columbia where he said he was going to school. But even then he looked too up to screen at Columbia where he said he was going to school. But even then he looked too old old to be a student, so it always made me wonder. to be a student, so it always made me wonder.

Lidija came by and I'm all out of shape after not working out for the two weeks in California.

And there's a radiologist in the building next door to me. He just bought a million-dollar machine and they had to knock a wall out to get it in, and I keep wondering if the radium stuff can get to me, because we share steam heat. Everybody says the machines are "foolproof." Sure. And the Polish Emba.s.sy next door, now they want $4 million for it. I guess I should've bought it, when then were asking $1.3.

Had to leave early, cabbed to Radio City Music Hall ($6). The guy writing the book on Liberace was next to us and he said that Liberace was really in love with that chauffeur who gave all the interviews to the National Enquirer National Enquirer and that it really crushed him-Scott Thorsen. Now he has a new chauffeur. And the show is just magnificent. A rhinestone cape that s.h.i.+ned to the stars. Lots of gay jokes and dirty jokes, and he has all these little kids who are his proteges who play the piano while he goes on a break. And the little boys he introduces as "my dear little friend, my best little friend ..." but not the little girls. And he showed a film of his fingers and talked about each ring. and that it really crushed him-Scott Thorsen. Now he has a new chauffeur. And the show is just magnificent. A rhinestone cape that s.h.i.+ned to the stars. Lots of gay jokes and dirty jokes, and he has all these little kids who are his proteges who play the piano while he goes on a break. And the little boys he introduces as "my dear little friend, my best little friend ..." but not the little girls. And he showed a film of his fingers and talked about each ring.

Sunday, April 14, 1985 Went to church and then went to meet Stephen Sprouse at the Mayfair and he was nervous about what he was going to ask me and finally he just blurted it out and I thought he'd been about to ask for my hand in marriage, but he asked (laughs) (laughs) for a loan of a million and a half dollars. And I actually was so happy, it would be great to be in the fas.h.i.+on business. I'm not going to give him the million and a half myself, but I said I would talk to Fred about finding investors for him, and then we could have a part of the business for setting it up. for a loan of a million and a half dollars. And I actually was so happy, it would be great to be in the fas.h.i.+on business. I'm not going to give him the million and a half myself, but I said I would talk to Fred about finding investors for him, and then we could have a part of the business for setting it up.

And Stephen gave me two wigs (tea $25) and went home and talked to Fred and he agreed it was a good idea.

Called Jon who's in town and staying at his own apartment on the West Side, and then walked over across the park to meet him and ran into Archie and Amos on their day off and they didn't even recognize me. I was-crushed. They were off their leashes and they were with Jed and they didn't give me a thought. And so met Jon and we went to the Cafe Luxembourg and had dinner and we didn't talk much about his new life ($75).

Monday, April 15, 1985 Read about ten different magazines and got so nervous because everything is so glamorous. Even all the sick people look glamorous in magazines.

Oh, and the Tennessee Williams book that Dotson wrote. Chris Makos told me that he sees a lot of himself in "David," the hustler who Dotson says had both Tennessee Williams and "the Movie Star"-Tony Perkins-paying his rent. They each thought they were paying it all. So that that sure does sound like Chris, but most of it, I don't know, it sounds like Dotson just made it up. sure does sound like Chris, but most of it, I don't know, it sounds like Dotson just made it up.

Wednesday, April 17, 1985 Fred was working on the Stephen Sprouse thing, he's gotten Richard Weisman interested.

And Eric Goode invited me to a party at Area for (laughs) (laughs) the "unicorn." The unicorn that's been in all the papers from the circus. PH and I should cover that for the the "unicorn." The unicorn that's been in all the papers from the circus. PH and I should cover that for the Party Party book. It's funny. book. It's funny.

Friday, April 19,1985 It was an all-day crystal day. The big cheese, Dr. Reese, was in town, and my appointment was for 12:0 at Bernsohn's-he was taking me to lunch with Reese and they were going to do my cranium. I asked Reese how he started in crystals and he said that when he was little, "Mr. Morning" came to see him. When he was a baby. He saw "Mr. Morning," but n.o.body else did. And then in the army he got interested in electricity and the body and all this stuff. Reese was talking about his trip where he went around sticking crystals all over the pyramids and the Wailing Wall. And he eats things like coffee and doughnuts. But he cures the coffee by pa.s.sing the crystal over it ten times. And he says he knows somebody in South Africa who went to the Wailing Wall who now wants to get his money out of South Africa and do movies. Reese is Episcopalian, so I feel better with him than with the Jewish crystal people, somehow, because knowing he believes in Christ I don't have to worry that crystals might be somehow against Christ. And his a.s.sistant -this girl-kept asking him, "Should we tell him? Should we tell him what we want him to do?" And finally Reese said, "Yes." So the girl said, "Your forces are with us. You've got to come to Tibet with us. You have the ability to do great things." And then they do talk about needing people to support their studies. So do you think they're going to ask me for money? That that's it? Bernsohn is is so materialistic-the new laser-beam record players and the new apartment. Then they tell me I was Chinese in my other life and that I have to so materialistic-the new laser-beam record players and the new apartment. Then they tell me I was Chinese in my other life and that I have to go go to Tibet with them.... Look, I to Tibet with them.... Look, I know know the people are ridiculous, but it's the crystals I believe in. They the people are ridiculous, but it's the crystals I believe in. They do do work. When you think that these crystals were in the center of the earth and have all this energy... work. When you think that these crystals were in the center of the earth and have all this energy...

Oh, and I got a letter from my niece Eva in Denver that said, "G.o.d Bless You, and by the way I stole your drawings ten years ago, do you want them back?" In like 1970 when she was living here and taking care of my mother. She told me she rolled up some of my Flower prints and took them and they've been in her bas.e.m.e.nt. But her letter is so full of G.o.d Bless Yous and Our Blessed Home and Our Blessed everythings that she sounds like one of the Moral Majority. And my nephew Paul is still in Denver-the ex-priest who's married to the ex-nun, and they have two children.

Sat.u.r.day, April 20, 1985 I got a call from Keith, he wanted to work all day on painting the elephant. Fred had it painted white so Keith could do a painting on it. This is the elephant I had to buy for Diana Vreeland's costume show at the Met for "Marilyn Monroe" to be riding on. It was pink, and then after the show it came to Fred at the Factory, and then Jean Michel and Victor painted some stuff on it, but not much, but still I would've kept it a Jean Michel even though it wasn't much of one, but Fred thought it would be better as a Keith Haring, and so Keith is going to paint it, now that it's white.

Cabbed up for dinner with Cornelia at Mortimer's ($4). She wasn't there, but Cosima von Bulow was there with her father, Claus. He's handsome. He said, "Thank you for being nice to me before I was a star." I don't know if he was being funny. I guess he means when he used to come to lunch at the office when Catherine Guinness was working there. And then he left and said that he knew Cosima was in good hands. And she's so beautiful. I had a good talk with her. She said she didn't want to be an actress because her teacher at one of those schools like Brearley discouraged her after she was in a play-said she was no good or something. Everybody just comes over to her and asks her about her father. Absolutely everybody. People who don't even know her. But she is is a good actress, she handles it well. a good actress, she handles it well.

Monday, April 22, 1985 My weight is up to 128, I want to get back to 125.

Went over to Sotheby's, it's jewelry auctions all week, and the place is eight-deep in this category now. It seems like everybody is buying at auction just instead of in the stores. So I guess the stores will be suffering or they already are. But I'm sure they send people to buy and bid their category up. And ran into Ivana Trump in the bas.e.m.e.nt looking at the cheap stuff there.

Oh! And who should I run into at this jewelry auction but my worker who I can never find, Rupert Smith! I said, "So this this is where you spend your days." He was shocked to is where you spend your days." He was shocked to see see me. me.

Oh, and gee, I saw Lee Radziwill on an old cover of Life Life and she really was pretty and I could see why Truman wanted her to be an actress. and she really was pretty and I could see why Truman wanted her to be an actress.

Wednesday, April 24, 1985 The big news on TV is that c.o.ke is changing their formula. Why would they do that? It doesn't make sense. They could've just come out with a new product and left c.o.ke alone. It seems crazy. And all the TV news shows love it, they're doing all these stories of people sitting around taste-testing.

In the morning went to Dr. Bernsohn's and Bernsohn said that Reese felt I was a "Janooky," that he felt I could be the really big one. "Janookys" are the head crystal people.

Left there and ran into David Whitney and invited him to lunch to find out about the art business. He said that Peter Brant paid $40,000 for a Jasper Johns print. For a print! print!

Vincent was upset because Polygram called and said that Lou Reed doesn't want to get back with the Velvets. And Polygram wants to buy our tapes for $15,000 which isn't enough. And I mean, I just don't understand why I have never gotten a penny from that first Velvet Underground record. That record really sells and I was the producer! Shouldn't I get something? I mean, shouldn't I? And what I can't figure out is when Lou stopped liking me. I mean, he even went out and got himself two dachshunds like I had and then after that he started not liking me, but I don't know exactly why or when. Maybe it was when he married this last wife, maybe he decided that he didn't want to see peculiar people. I'm surprised he hasn't had kids, you know?

I worked on the Lana Turner portraits, turning this sixty-year-old into a twenty-five-year-old girl. It took a long time. I wish I had been able to just work from an old picture and it would've been this beautiful painting. But this way it's not really a good picture.

Thursday, April 25, 1985 Dr. Bernsohn says he doesn't want to be a.s.sociated just with crystals because he could lose his license-he said that in Ma.s.sachusetts people have have lost their licenses. But I mean, if you really believe in something, it seems kind of funny if you won't take the consequences. lost their licenses. But I mean, if you really believe in something, it seems kind of funny if you won't take the consequences.

I'm trying to find another store that sells the sculpture of the Last Supper that's about one-and-a-half feet-they're selling it in one of those import stores on Fifth near Lord & Taylor but it's so expensive there, about $2,500. So I'm trying to find it cheaper in Times Square. I'm doing the Last Supper for lolas. For Lucio Amelio I'm doing the Volcanoes. So I guess I'm a commercial artist. I guess that's the score.

Friday, April 26, 1985 Worked all afternoon and was going to work until 8:00 but my light burned out on the tracing machine so I had to stop. I called Jean Michel to see if he was invited to Schnabel's because then I would pick him up, and Shenge answers and I say I want to know if he's invited and Shenge says, "Oh, he's invited? That's nice. I'll go tell him." And I'm screaming, "No no no!" It was a birthday dinner for Schnabel's wife, Jacqueline.

Glued. Cabbed to East 20th Street ($6). And it was great to be back in the old Union Square neighborhood. Philip Niarchos was there and he told me he had a baby. And I'd forgotten that he'd gotten married and couldn't really remember to who. But then I remembered it's Victoria Guinness. On the banking side, I think.

The birthday cake was Italian. Time went fast. Home at 12:15, fell asleep watching TV.

Sat.u.r.day,April 27, 1985 I'm trying to think where we could have some videotapes of the Velvet Underground. Because I mean row with Lou not wanting to get back for a reunion with the others, I just am thinking that I really should figure out a way to get money out of that first alb.u.m. I mean, I produced it! produced it!And now Vincent just found the master tapes! We We have the masters! And I'm not going to worry whether we have the right to use the masters or to make a video out of our old film clips of them. Just let them try to sue me. You know? have the masters! And I'm not going to worry whether we have the right to use the masters or to make a video out of our old film clips of them. Just let them try to sue me. You know?

Keith came to the office to paint on the big elephant, and he did a beautiful job on it. It's black and white with a red base. I think I would've liked it better just black and white, but it's great. Keith's great. He really is a cartoonist. And they say he's like Peter Max, but he's really not. He has something else. Peter Max was just a businessman trying to be an artist. He copied me a lot. And now he gets $100,000 for a portrait. Look. Here's how it all works: You meet rich people and you hang around with them and one night they've had a few drinks and they say, "I'll buy it!" Then they tell their friends, "You must must have his work, darling," and that's all you need. I mean, it's like Schnabel sitting there with Philip Niarchos. That's all it takes. So you get your price established. Get it? have his work, darling," and that's all you need. I mean, it's like Schnabel sitting there with Philip Niarchos. That's all it takes. So you get your price established. Get it?

Monday,April 29, 1985 Fred's gone to Zurich, I don't know what for. It's a mysterious trip. Maybe he's having his eyes done, or getting those sheep glands. But I don't know why he's doing all these things and not getting his nose done.

Cornelia and also Jay have told me that they've seen my Diet c.o.ke commercial on TV and that I'm in it a lot.

Went to the Tuileries and got the big table in the back, and then this homely woman came in and a girl came over and said, "You have to be nice to Roxanne," and it dawned on me that it was Roxanne Pulitzer and that this is really the eighties. I mean, after seeing von Bulow, having him come over and talk to me the other night, and then seeing him on TV crying about going back to the house at the trial, and now this one, it's too abstract, you know-all these courtroom celebrities. I like this. It must be like the gangsters in the twenties.

Tuesday, April 30, 1985 Went to the Calvin Klein opening. Got there at 11:05 and there was Bob Colacello standing there looking preppie. His clothes are always perfect and immaculate, I don't know how he does it. Calvin's girls were meaty-small waists and big hips, that was the new look.

Went to Sotheby's. Ran into Patricia Neal in the elevator and I asked her if she was still seeing Barry Landau and she said yes so I didn't put him down. She was selling a Bacon and she was upset with the low reserve, she said-$250,000. I guess she needs the money. She said they sold another Bacon to send the son to baking school which she said was a waste because he doesn't bake. She was walking with a cane. She looks great.