Amaku Yasashii Sekai de Ikiru ni wa Chapter 36

h.e.l.lo

I love april fools so here is 6 chapters.

5/6

we are done the arc, next is the training camp arc,

I do not know why but the TLC messed up, 37 was put before this chapter. Please click on the last chapter to read 37

Thank you one of the G.o.ds of editing Axelia.

Please donate to yos.h.i.+ for more tsuki

Another thing concerning donations, I will be increasing the amount to 40 dollars this month, I have exams this month so The time required to do an extra chapter is tight is the only reason, in May it will return to $20.

Amaku Yasas.h.i.+ Sekai de Ikiru Ni Wa - 36 POV Ballad Robe.

In contrast to the audience that has yet to calm down from Master Doyle's victory over Lute Stapp who is known for his horsemans.h.i.+p, Master Doyle is both saddened and depressed at seeing His Highness leave as he tried to make his way to him. I feel my chest hurt seeing Master Doyle like this, but I do not try to comfort him. Master Doyle, you are at fault this time.

Master Doyle, refusing the hand of a person who so desperately wants to help hurts that person much more than it does the person receiving the help.  

If I am to speak my mind, I would say Master Doyle is strong, but it is because of his strength that he does not want to rely on people. I do want to say this, but right now is not the best time. He has been up practicing since early this morning. I have to first take Master Doyle, who is stunned, back to the dorms to rest.

"Master Doyle, let us go back to the dorm to rest. I will make some warm tea"(Ballad)

I quietly approach Master Doyle and speak to him. Master Doyle faces me and moves slowly. The light in his eyes is quite dim, and his hands are shaking as well.

"Ballad."(Doyle)

"Master Doyle and Blanc have been practicing since early morning. Please take a break now that the matter is finished."(Ballad)

". . . You're right, let's go back."(Doyle)

Master Doyle smiles wryly, gets off Blanc, gives me Blanc's reins, and clenches his hands. Master Doyle slowly heads toward where Luce and Leopardo have gathered, and I chase his back.

He has always walked alone.

Master Doyle who smiled at me even though he should be saddened by the actions that His Highness just took. This irritates me slightly. I always chase his back, and I feel pathetic each time. If I had more power and was stronger, I wonder if he would let me stand by his side or rely upon me more. No, even if I was ten times stronger than Master Doyle, he would still not rely on me. Master Doyle is a very prideful person. He will not show pain to others and will not let others take his pain. He believes that if he does that, there will be no one to depend on when we are in danger.

. . . He believes that we are the people he must protect.
It is the same with His Highness and the Princess.

Master Doyle is a gentle person.
He will confirm if the person Luce has picked can actually protect them with his own eyes. Even if he cannot afford the luxury of keeping such big promises, he will do everything in his power to make sure they will be kept. Even if you do not believe he owes a debt, he will try to repay for it anyway. Even the matter with the spear was like this. He tried to meet the expectations of everyone around and suffered for ten years.

I am proud to have a master like Master Doyle. He is gentle, strong, proud and always tries to reach greater heights. I do not believe another person like this exists in this world.

However, that strength and gentleness is something I also find hateful.

I am proud of his strength. To say that I find his strength hateful is something a subordinate or servant should never say, but this kind of contradictory thought is something I believe His Highness Gray would understand.

The day Jin spoke with Master Doyle.

"Since that day, I have always thought of standing next to him. I will never take his hand, no matter how much he wants to help me. I will not be the protected. I will be the one who protects. I want to became his hero, and a hero does not ask the people he protects for help. I want to become this, so he can always depend on me."(Doyle)

Master Doyle's voice was filled with such conviction and strength that day. I understood my master's feelings for not wanting to rely on the His Highness, but I felt regret at the same time.

At that time, there was no change in His Highness Gray's expression, but the actions he performed while listening clearly demonstrated his feelings. From the faint marks of his fist in the ground and dirt on his fist, I could feel the frustration and irritation that he was feeling in his heart.

While walking behind Master Doyle and holding Blanc's reins, I remember the appearance of His Highness who was eavesdropping on the conversation between Master Doyle and Master Jin . . . I swallow the sigh that is coming from remembering that.

Having said that, His Highness wanting to eavesdrop on the conversation between the two of them was a secret His Highness made me promise to keep. We were surprised at first when His Highness came to us about this matter. It was my first time meeting with His Highness without Master Doyle. We did not have any reason to refuse His Highness, and Luce also wanted a connection with His Highness. We accepted the request to discern Master Doyle's true feelings, though something like this can be done very easily with my skill and Solcier's magic tools.

I also agreed with His Highness about Master Jin not being able to keep a secret or act in front of Master Doyle. We agreed that it should be Master Jin who goes to Master Doyle and asks about this matter. We first started to talk about normal everyday things to try and plant the idea naturally, but Master Jin is bad with this kind of thing and asked why we were stalling. His Highness held his head from Master Jin's lack of tact.

In the end, we convinced Master Jin to go see Master Doyle, but somehow the situation turned into Master Doyle asking Master Jin a question. Again, thankfully it all worked out in the end, and we were able to confirm Master Doyle's will.

It was a very tough ordeal because of Master Jin's lack of tact, but hearing Master Doyle's words made me feel very frustrated. To want to be next to the person but not rely on him. I could not imagine what kind of feelings His Highness was having at that time when he was the topic of the conversation.

The position of I who serve Master Doyle and His Highness who is Master Doyle's superior is very different. Thus, the frustration I was feeling in my heart must have been only one of many things His Highness Gray was feeling in his heart.

The Aghinis family has produced two [Heroes] who have served as aides to two generations of kings.

The relations.h.i.+p I have with Luce and the others is simple. The relations.h.i.+p between Master Doyle and His Highness Gray is very complicated. His Highness must protect the people, and Master Doyle must protect the people and His Highness Gray. Master Doyle also counts as one of His Highness Grey's people. Thus, His Highness must protect Master Doyle. This is a quite the infinite loop.

The two are both kind and strong, but because of this, they are two existences that do not need the help of others.

The two try to protect each other. The relations.h.i.+p you two have is not something an outsider like me can comment on.

. . . But if I had to comment, I would say that both of you are idiots. I mean stubborn . . . having strong wills that never bend.

I am very frustrated at Master Doyle who is acting normally, even though he is in pain and suffering from the actions of His Highness. Trying to reach the prince while not relying on anyone. It is so frustrating that I cannot be an existence that can help you relax.

I know Master Doyle regrets the mistakes he has made during the past five years. I understand that he wants to atone for those mistakes as well. However, there is no need to work alone, Master Doyle.

You have people you can rely on. Luce and I are always here for you. You also have new people like Leopardo and Eleanor. You have family like the Headmaster, Madam Serena, and Grandmaster Zeno. Madam Meryl, my grandfather, and father as well. You also have His Highness Gray and Princess Claire here for you. I think she wants to become your power much more than His Highness.

Why does he not realize it?
. . . No, that is wrong.
He does realize it, but he does not want depend on us. Master Doyle is too harsh on himself. He believes that he should not be spoiled by his environment more than he already has been. He does not want to trouble anyone anymore.

With you like this, Master Doyle, how will we atone for the selfish expectations we put on you? After hearing your words during the entrance ceremony and the fight with Master Jin, how can we not want to atone for our actions that made you suffer?

I heard from my grandfather that Grandmaster Zeno has tried to retire from the position of Supreme Commander. The Hendra company is now leading the defense of your inheritance of the Aghinis t.i.tle. Leopardo has become your subordinate. I think he would have done it even if you had not given him that paper. Mr. Hengst bowed to all the teachers and asked them to reevaluate their opinions of you. The king has forgiven you for your past actions. I have also heard that he has started to refuse all marriage requests sent to the Princess. Princess Claire is always looking at the rose you sent to her whenever she has time. His Highness Gray has even said that he would wait for you.

We all want to atone for the mistakes of the past.
I want you rely on me more as well.

We all have these feelings that cannot be well-communicated. Thus, I will also join the circle that encloses you Master Doyle. The circle where we are all stretching out our hands to you, but you do not take any one of them.

I knew you had kept your promise yesterday when I split up from His Highness and returned to your side,, but I was irritated by your conversation with Jin. I understand you will always stay true to your words, but that is what is so frustrating. You want to protect us all, and that makes us feel so helpless when you do not let us protect you.

I told Master Doyle that I was suspected him of practicing, but in reality, I was just frustrated at the words he had said before. I am still not a top-notch servant. I need to refine and discipline myself to become more like my grandfather who Master Doyle always relies on.

I am still immature, but I will make sure that happens.
However, it is still my selfish wish to have him relax around me and let his weakness out.

"We are going back, Ballad."(Doyle)

"Yes, Master Doyle."(Ballad)

I feel my heart ache once more from seeing Master Doyle act normal.
My master who is strong, but his strength is what I find most annoying.
My Master who is kind, but his kindness is truly frustrating. The fact that I cannot say anything right now is also so frustrating.

"Master Doyle."(Ballad)

"What is it?"(Doyle)

"If you ever have something troubling you, please tell this Ballad. I will help you in anyway possible."(Ballad)

". . . What is with you so suddenly?"(Doyle)

"Ballad will always help you no matter what, so please rely on me."(Ballad)

"Ok."(Doyle)

Master Doyle nods with a false expression and walks forward. I can see the fatigue showing on his face, but I appear in front of him and nod my head very strongly. He starts to walk forward again, and I follow the back of my master.

I will forever keep chasing my master's back, this strong but frightful back.

I pray that Master Doyle will soon notice that we also want to atone as well. I want him to notice this as soon as possible. However, I feel it is not my duty, but the duty of His Highness to tell him this.

I want to tell him so many things, but I will watch over these two childhood friends for now. I will keep watching over these two and hope that the upcoming training camp will help them reconcile.