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"Shuffle, and cut once with your left hand."
Daniel did as instructed and placed the deck on the table. Mr Rudiger turned up three cards, reading aloud their t.i.tles.
"The Lovers, The Devil, The Tower." he thought for a moment, then continued, "You're a young man with troubles of the female kind, am I right?"
"You could say that."
"Bit of a h... bit of a handful, is she?"
"She is."
Rudiger nodded sagely.
"Now, I don't like to be the one to tell you this," he said, "But she could be more trouble than you bargained for. You're going to have to make a choice of some kind, and if you choose the young lady, then you'll have to be prepared for a bit of a rough ride."
"I know."
"Do you have any questions?"
"Well..." Daniel began, unsure of how to proceed.
"I can see you are deeply troubled by this person, and judging by your appearance, I think I know why. But I would prefer that you tell me yourself."
"I don't think you'd believe me."
"You'd be s...urprised. There's a cloud over you, young Sir, and it's sapping your vital energy. I've seen its like before."
"What is it?"
"What do you think it is?" Rudiger peered over his spectacles at Daniel.
"I bought this book..." Daniel began.
"Go on,"
" 'A Bestiary of Lesser Demons', I think... I think I've got a succubus."
"You mean a succubus has got you, you poor, poor fellow. Is she hideous? Matted hair, weeping sores?"
"No," Daniel said, "No, she's..." a smile broke across his face, "...very nice actually."
"Oh, d...ear." Rudiger removed his gla.s.ses and ran a hand through his brillo pad hair, "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. The pretty ones are the worst of all."
"She says her name's Lilith."
"They all say that. All claim to be the queen herself. This one isn't Lilith - you wouldn't have lasted a night."
"What can I do to get rid of her?"
"Now there I can help. My grandfather had the self same problem. Nasty thing she was too: dripping fangs, and c...overed in coconut matting."
"Then I'm obviously one of the lucky ones."
"If you say so. Now listen," Rudiger leaned forward, "Dear old Gramps found his own solution to the problem, which he pa.s.sed on to me. What you need are the Sensible Shoes."
"The what?"
"Wait here."
Rudiger wandered into another room, returning moments later carrying a cardboard shoe box.
"Here you are."
He lifted the lid of the box and produced a pair shoes made from wrinkled brown leather. On the toe of the right shoe was a small gold-coloured cross.
"Gramps made these shoes out of his Bible, and very effective they are too. Put them on."
Daniel took off his boots and slid his feet into the Sensible Shoes.
"They're a bit small." he complained.
"B...unions are a small price to pay for your immortal soul."
"What happens now?"
"You must wear them always. Put the box under your bed. When the Lady appears, the shoes will release you from her spell. She will shrink to the size of a vole. Put her in the box and secure the lid with white ribbon."
"Then I can take the shoes off?"
"No! You can never take the shoes off. If you do, you will succ.u.mb to her."
"But they're so tight." Daniel protested.
"The choice is o...bviously yours. But let me tell you this: better a pinched toe than a soul lost to the Devil."
The walk home from the psychic's house was agony. Daniel could hardly believe he was doing this. For the sake of his over-active imagination, he had let a crazy old man talk him into wearing a pair of hideous shoes, two sizes too small. There must be a lesson in this somewhere.
On he trudged, cursing Jack Rudiger, and himself, for being such a soft touch. Home was less than five minutes away now, but five minutes spent walking on broken gla.s.s was an eternity. He thought about sitting down on the pavement for a while until the pain subsided, but what was the point? The Sensible Shoes had hurt even before he'd started walking. Best get the journey over as soon as possible.
Home at last. Daniel slammed the door behind him and threw himself onto the sofa. Just as he was beginning to relax, the doorbell rang. He staggered to the door and opened it to his neighbour, Tim.
"What do you want?" Daniel said.
"Nice welcome to your oldest friend, I must say." Tim pushed past Daniel and sat down.
"Hey, love the shoes," he laughed, "New fas.h.i.+on?"
"Just tell me what it is you want and go."
"What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing. I'm just a bit busy at the moment."
"Are they comfortable? I wouldn't wear anything like that unless they were really comfortable. Are they?"
"No they b.l.o.o.d.y aren't!" Daniel shouted, "Sorry, it's just that I'm... expecting someone."
"A female someone?"
"Actually, yes."
"Say no more, I'll come back later."
"Much later, if you don't mind."
"Have a nice time."
"Thanks." Daniel said miserably.
"Oh. Bit of a dog, is she?"
"No. She's just a bit of a handful."
"Well, if you need any help, I'm your man."
"I can manage, thanks." Daniel smiled.
"Okay, I'll leave you to it. Tell me all about it tomorrow."
"I don't think so."
"Suit yourself."
Daniel went to bed early that night, in the hope that Lilith would turn up sooner rather than later, and he could have the whole thing over and done with.
He hadn't been in bed more than a few minutes, when he caught her familiar vanilla scent.
"Daniel," she sighed, as she gradually appeared.
She had just begun to trace the outline of his mouth with her tongue, when she glanced down and noticed the Sensible Shoes. She gasped, a hurt expression crossed her face, and she began to shrink, sobbing as her body diminished.
"I'm sorry," Daniel said, "But it's for the best."
He picked up the tiny woman and dropped her into Mr Rudiger's shoe box.
"I can't pretend I won't miss you," he said, struggling to make a decent bow of the white ribbon, "But frankly, my Dear, you're wearing me out."
Daniel woke early the next morning, having slept like a baby. The box was safely under the bed, and his strength was returning bit by bit. Apart from the excruciating agony of the Sensible Shoes, he felt better than he had in a long time. He made himself some breakfast, and set about finis.h.i.+ng that long awaited report.
By noon, his work was done, and the day was his own. If it wasn't for the shoes, he would have gone out, but standing in them was bad enough, let alone walking.
By two p.m., Daniel was bored. Against his better judgement, he took the box from its hiding place and sat with it on his lap.
"I am truly sorry," he said, lifting the box to his face to savour Lilith's delicious scent.
She was crying, tiny vole-sized sobs, interspersed with sighing his name.
"Don't cry," he pleaded, "It isn't that I don't like you, it's just that you're not good for me."
"I'll be good," she whispered, her scent becoming stronger, "Let me out, and I'll kiss your poor feet better."
It was a very tempting offer. The Sensible Shoes had caused him more pain in two days than Lilith had caused him in two weeks.
"You don't have to let me out," she said, "Just take off the Shoes, you'll feel so much better."
Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea...
Daniel eased off the Sensible Shoes. His feet almost wept with relief. He laid the box down on the sofa beside him, and ma.s.saged his stinging toes. The box jiggled with excitement.
"Now, you be good." he told Lilith.
"I'll be good." she crooned, "I'll be very good. Just lift the lid a little bit, I can't breathe."
"You won't try anything?"
"I won't." she promised, "Put the shoes outside the door, they make me feel ill."
Daniel hesitated. Lilith began to cry again.
"Okay, you win." he sighed, taking the Sensible Shoes and depositing them outside the front door. It felt so good without them.
"Better now?" he said.
"Yes," she spoke so softly, Daniel had to hold the box very close to hear her.
"Daniel," she whispered.
"What?"
"I miss you."
"I miss you too. But you have to stay there for the sake of my sanity."
"I'll be gone soon," she said, "Did he tell you that?"
"Tell me what?"
"Seven days in the box, and I'll be dead. I'm sorry that you want me dead."