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FOOTNOTE:
[19] Copyright, 1919, by Harper & Brothers. Copyright, 1921, by Stephen French Whitman.
SHEENER[20]
#By# BEN AMES WILLIAMS
From _Collier's Weekly_
When he was sober the man always insisted that his name was Evans, but in his cups he was accustomed to declare, in a boastful fas.h.i.+on, that his name was not Evans at all. However, he never went farther than this, and since none of us were particularly interested, we were satisfied to call him Evans, or, more often, b.u.m, for short. He was the second a.s.sistant janitor; and whereas, in some establishments, a janitor is a man of power and place, it is not so in a newspaper office. In such inst.i.tutions, where great men are spoken of irreverently and by their first names, a janitor is a man of no importance. How much less, then, his second a.s.sistant. It was never a part of Evans's work, for example, to sweep the floors. There is something lordly in the gesture of the broom. But the janitor's first a.s.sistant attended to that; and Evans's regular duties were more humble, not unconnected with such things as cuspidors. There was no man so poor to do him honor; yet he had always a certain loftiness of bearing. He was tall, rather above the average height, with a long, thin, bony face like a horse, and an aristocratic stoop about his neck and shoulders. His hands were slender; he walked in a fas.h.i.+on that you might have called a shuffle, but which might also have been characterized as a walk of indolent a.s.surance. His eyes were wash-blue, and his straggling mustache drooped at the corners.
Sober, he was a silent man, but when he had drunk he was apt to become mysteriously loquacious. And he drank whenever the state of his credit permitted. At such times he spoke of his antecedents in a lordly and condescending fas.h.i.+on which we found amusing. "You call me Evans," he would say. "That does well enough, to be sure. Quite so, and all that.
Evans! Hah!"
And then he would laugh, in a barking fas.h.i.+on that with his long, bony countenance always suggested to me a coughing horse. But when he was pressed for details, the man--though he might be weaving and blinking with liquor--put a seal upon his lips. He said there were certain families in one of the Midland Counties of England who would welcome him home if he chose to go; but he never named them, and he never chose to go, and we put him down for a liar by the book. All of us except Sheener.
Sheener was a Jewish newsboy; that is to say, a representative of the only thoroughbred people in the world. I have known Sheener for a good many years, and he is worth knowing; also, the true tale of his life might have inspired Scheherazade. A book must be made of Sheener some day. For the present, it is enough to say that he had the enterprise which adversity has taught his people; he had the humility which they have learned by enduring insults they were powerless to resent, and he had the courage and the heart which were his ancient heritage. And--the man Evans had captured and enslaved his imagination.
He believed in Evans from the beginning. This may have been through a native credulity which failed to manifest itself in his other dealings with the world. I think it more probable that Evans and his pretensions appealed to the love of romance native to Sheener. I think he enjoyed believing, as we enjoy lending ourselves to the illusion of the theatre.
Whatever the explanation, a certain alliance developed between the two; a something like friends.h.i.+p. I was one of those who laughed at Sheener's credulity, but he told me, in his energetic fas.h.i.+on, that I was making a mistake.
"You got that guy wrong," he would say. "He ain't always been a b.u.m. A guy with half an eye can see that. The way he talks, and the way he walks, and all. There's cla.s.s to him, I'm telling you. Cla.s.s, bo."
"He walks like a splay-footed walrus, and he talks like a drunken old hound," I told Sheener. "He's got you buffaloed, that's all."
"Pull in your horns; you're coming to a bridge," Sheener warned me.
"Don't be a goat all your life. He's a gent; that's what this guy is."
"Then I'm glad I'm a roughneck," I retorted; and Sheener shook his head.
"That's all right," he exclaimed. "That's all right. He ain't had it easy, you know. Scrubbing spittoons is enough to take the polish off any guy. I'm telling you he's there. Forty ways. You'll see, bo. You'll see."
"I'm waiting," I said.
"Keep right on," Sheener advised me. "Keep right on. The old stuff is there. It'll show. Take it from me."
I laughed at him. "If I get you," I said, "you're looking for something along the line of 'n.o.blesse Oblige.' What?"
"Cut the comedy," he retorted. "I'm telling you, the old cla.s.s is there.
You can't keep a fast horse in a poor man's stable."
"Blood will tell, eh?"
"Take it from me," said Sheener.
It will be perceived that Evans had in Sheener not only a disciple; he had an advocate and a defender. And Sheener in these roles was not to be despised. I have said he was a newsboy; to put it more accurately, he was in his early twenties, with forty years of experience behind him, and with half the newsboys of the city obeying his commands and wors.h.i.+ping him like a minor G.o.d. He had full charge of our city circulation and was quite as important, and twice as valuable to the paper, as any news editor could hope to be. In making a friend of him, Evans had found an ally in the high places; and it became speedily apparent that Sheener proposed to be more than a mere friend in name.
For instance, I learned one day that he was drawing Evans's wages for him, and had appointed himself in some sort a steward for the other.
"That guy wouldn't ever save a cent," he told me when I questioned him.
"I give him enough to get soused on, and I stick five dollars in the bank for him every week. I made him buy a new suit of clothes with it last week. Say, you wouldn't know him if you run into him in his glad rags."
"How does he like your running his affairs?" I asked.
"Like it?" Sheener echoed. "He don't have to like it. If he tries to pull anything on me, I'll poke the old coot in the eye."
I doubt whether this was actually his method of dominating Evans. It is more likely that he used a diplomacy which occasionally appeared in his dealings with the world. Certainly the arrangement presently collapsed, for Sheener confessed to me that he had given his savings back to Evans.
We were minus a second a.s.sistant janitor for a week as a consequence, and when Evans tottered back to the office and would have gone to work I told him he was through.
He took it meekly enough, but not Sheener. Sheener came to me with fire in his eye.
"Sa-a-ay," he demanded, "what's coming off here, anyhow? What do you think you're trying to pull?"
I asked him what he was talking about, and he said: "Evans says you've given him the hook."
"That's right," I admitted. "He's through."
"He is not," Sheener told me flatly. "You can't fire that guy."
"Why not?"
"He's got to live, ain't he?"
I answered, somewhat glibly, that I did not see the necessity, but the look that sprang at once into Sheener's eyes made me faintly ashamed of myself, and I went on to urge that Evans was failing to do his work and could deserve no consideration.
"That's all right," Sheener told me. "I didn't hear any kicks that his work wasn't done while he was on this bat."
"Oh, I guess it got done all right. Some one had to do it. We can't pay him for work that some one else does."
"Say, don't try to pull that stuff," Sheener protested. "As long as his work is done, you ain't got any kick. This guy has got to have a job, or he'll go bust, quick. It's all that keeps his feet on the ground. If he didn't think he was earning his living, he'd go on the b.u.m in a minute."
I was somewhat impatient with Sheener's insistence, but I was also interested in this developing situation. "Who's going to do his work, anyhow?" I demanded.
For the first time in our acquaintance I saw Sheener look confused.
"That's all right too," he told me. "It don't take any skin off your back, long as it's done."
In the end I surrendered. Evans kept his job; and Sheener--I once caught him in the act, to his vast embarra.s.sment--did the janitor's work when Evans was unfit for duty. Also Sheener loaned him money, small sums that mounted into an interesting total; and furthermore I know that on one occasion Sheener fought for him.
The man Evans went his pompous way, accepting Sheener's homage and protection as a matter of right, and in the course of half a dozen years I left the paper for other work, saw Sheener seldom, and Evans not at all.
About ten o'clock one night in early summer I was wandering somewhat aimlessly through the South End to see what I might see when I encountered Sheener. He was running, and his dark face was twisted with anxiety. When he saw me he stopped with an exclamation of relief, and I asked him what the matter was.
"You remember old b.u.m Evans?" he asked, and added: "He's sick. I'm looking for a doctor. The old guy is just about all in."
"You mean to say you're still looking out for that old tramp?" I demanded.