Witch Winnie Part 20

"Oh dear, no!" exclaimed Winnie, "we are everything; Tib is a Congregationalist, and Emma Jane is a Unitarian, Adelaide is Presbyterian; 'Trude Middleton is a Dutch Reformer; Rosario Ricos is Catholic; Puss Seligman is a Jewess; Little Breeze comes from Philadelphia Quaker stock, though she is so gay you wouldn't think it; Cynthia Vaughn is a Baptist; Milly Roseveldt is the only Episcopalian; and I'm a--heathen."

"No you are not," I protested; "you are a follower of the Elder Brother, Winnie, and that means you are a Christian." She gave my hand a little squeeze, and Ethel exclaimed, "I should think your society would go to pieces; I don't see how you can work together with such different views."

"That depends," said Winnie, thoughtfully, "whether in the future we all pull in different directions, and tear our charity to pieces between us, or whether each of us uses all her force to bring in people from our different church organizations to help in the work, and make it widely and purely undenominational. I mean to write a little parable on that subject some day, for I feel full of it."

"Do!" we all exclaimed; "write it for the next meeting at Ethel's."

"I don't know; it would hardly be a scientific essay, you know."

"I am not sure about that," replied Ethel; "I think it might be called a scientific method of carrying on charitable enterprises. Please write it, and I will invite our Ten, and the Cheer-up Ten from the Corners, and the Loyal Legion, and the Missionary Society, and all the girls I know generally."

The plan was carried into effect, and at the next meeting Winnie read us this fable, which she called

A FISH STORY.[A]

[A] NOTE.--This allegory was first published in _Good Company_, of 1880.

"Once upon a time the fishes and salt-water animals down in the bay decided to organize a Home for Sea-urchins.

"The circ.u.mstances of the remarkable agitation which suddenly spread among the peaceful denizens of the deep became known to me by my inadvertently getting a spray of sea-fern in one of my bathing-sandals.

I suddenly discovered that I could understand the voices of the little creatures that I had so often watched from Tib's father's dory, or sported among when I took my sea-bath. I lay in the dory one afternoon, looking down into the clear depth of the water, watching the tricks and manners of a sea-anemone, and thinking how similar her behavior was to that of a reigning belle at a popular watering-place, when it dawned upon me that she _was_ the belle of the cove, surrounded by a circle of obsequious masculine admirers, prominent among whom were the hermit-crab, the octopus, the jelly-fish, the lobster, the conger-eel, the king-iyo, and the stickleback--"

"Now, Winnie," I objected, "you never saw an octopus or a king-iyo in our cove, and you can't make me believe it!"

"My dear Tib," Winnie replied, "didn't I tell you this was a fish story?

Pray do not interrupt again. The animals that I have mentioned were all aspirants to the hand of the Sea-Anemone, and the first remarks which I overheard and comprehended were her confidences to her friend the Gold-Fish, in which she intimated that she considered the Jelly-Fish the most amiable, the Lobster the richest, the King-iyo (a t.i.tled foreigner from j.a.pan) the most _distingue_, and the Conger-Eel the most polite; but, after all, the Hermit-Crab was really the best, and she liked him more than any of the others, with the exception of the Octopus, who was so fascinatingly wicked.

"The next time that I looked into the cove was during a meeting of the managers of the Sea-Urchins' Home.

"The Sea-Anemone had just been unanimously elected to the presidency on account of her popularity.

"The Cuttle-Fish had been created secretary in recognition of his remarkable facility in throwing ink, while all official doc.u.ments were stamped by the Seal.

"The Electric-Eel was made visiting physician; and the Shark, surgeon and lecturer on vivisection.

"The Hermit-Crab, who had been detailed to make observations on the _modus_ in which such societies were carried on among human beings, made the following report:

"MISS PRESIDENT AND FELLOW-FISHES:

"Your committee have made a careful investigation of the subject a.s.signed them, and agree that while man's faculties have not been cultivated to so high an extent as those pertaining to fishes, he is still a moral and intellectual animal. We believe that if he were put in possession of the advantages accorded to our race, and were submerged in salt-water for several centuries, his brain would undoubtedly become so pickled as to reduce it in size and intensify its quality. Favorable conditions of brain-pickling are all that is necessary, in our opinion, to develop some of the most advanced specimens of this _genus_ into a low form of _mollusk_.

"The opinions of the Hermit-Crab were considered a marvel of liberality and generous thinking. He proceeded to explain the society-forming instinct of the human race as a professor of our own species might lecture on the concretions of deep-sea corals, and continued swimmingly, as fishes usually do, until a white-whiskered Sea-Lion begged leave to make a motion, in the language of a motto of conduct which he had often heard shouted to seamen by their commanders: 'When you are in the navy, do as the knaves do.' 'Let us,' he added, 'act upon this principle of conformity, by doing amongst men as the many do, and immediately organize a fair to meet the salaries of our officers and pay the debt on the society building.'

"'But none of us need salaries,' objected the Lobster, 'and we have no debt.'

"'As to declining a salary because I do not need it,' replied the Sea-Lion, 'I can only say that I find no such example set by the race whose customs we are following; and without a debt, or at least a deficit in the accounts of our treasurer, the respectability of our society may well be questioned.'

"A committee of Codfish aristocrats was at once authorized to secure a debt of magnificent proportions, at whatever cost, and the salary of each member of the society was set according to his own estimates.

Frequent meetings of the managers were appointed for the purpose of drawing the salaries, and as the care of the Sea-Urchins could with the utmost ingenuity be made to take up but a small portion of the time, each of the managers seized upon these meetings as opportunities to air their own particular opinions. The Lobster, who was something of an autocrat, and had determined from the outset to run the concern, took the entire business management into his own claws, greatly incensing the ladies on the debt committee by intimating that they knew nothing of business, and that his office-boy, the Craw-Fish, could have devised a debt of far n.o.bler proportions. The King-iyo, or three-tailed fish of j.a.pan, trusted that the philosophy of the Orient was to have its full recognition in the principles of the society, and that the Sea-Urchins would be instructed in Buddhism. The Octopus, who had been one of the most desperate characters in the bay, carried his change of heart so far as to a.s.sert that no one could be considered as religious, or even respectable, who had not been extremely wicked, and urged that only the most depraved and hopeless young Sea-Urchins be admitted into the Home.

While the Octopus raved over essential wickedness, and the King-iyo of philosophy, the Jelly-Fish dabbled in humanitarianism, and a.s.serted that brains were not to be tolerated, thought was to be considered a crime, and a heart the only organ necessary for the spiritual body. All books on theology and philosophy should be sold for old paper, and the proceeds invested in charlotte russe for tramps and criminals. Every measure in the least savoring of logic or common sense must be vetoed.

"The Stickleback, who luxuriated in controversy, and in making himself generally disagreeable, summed up the remarks of those preceding him as the merest vaporing of idiocy, and denounced every system of belief held by his fellow-managers, before hearing it, with the same impartiality.

Antagonism, he a.s.serted, was the only rational att.i.tude for any fish under all circ.u.mstances. The Conger-Eel, managing to gain possession of the floor, endeavored to pour oil on the troubled waters. He was sure that if the heterogeneous, and even antipathetic, ideas held by the different managers were only presented in writing, they would, properly mingled, blend as sweetly as lemon juice and loaf sugar in a cooling summer libation. The Cuttle-Fish, was unanimously elected chairman of a committee for eliciting and reconciling the opinions of the managers in a printed const.i.tution. He opened the ball with a statement of his own views, which he pa.s.sed to each member in turn, asking them to add their several criticisms and corrections. When the paper had gone the rounds it was read in open session by the Hermit-Crab, who summed up everything that had gone before, in a paper ent.i.tled 'A Historical Review of the Doc.u.ments, beginning with the King-iyo's criticism of Mr.

Snapping-Turtle's attack on Mr. Shrimp's vindication of Mr. Jelly-Fish's Apology of Mr. Conger-Eel's Deprecatory Answer to Mr. Lobster's satire on Mr. Stickleback's Challenge to Mr. Octopus's Dogmatic Denunciation of Mr. Shark's strictures on Miss Sea-Anemone's conciliatory explanation of Mr. Cuttle-Fish's exposition of the views of the society.'

"Of course this paper satisfied no one, and the meeting plunged at once into a whirlpool of ruinous discussion.

"The Stickleback bristled his spines and glared angrily about him, shrieking, 'Antagonism! Nihilism!'

"'Fanaticism, Sensationalism!' yelled the Octopus.

"'Dogmatism! Absolutism!' replied the Lobster, hurling clams about him in the belief that they were works on combative theology.

"'Asceticism! Monasticism!' groaned the Hermit-Crab, retreating into a pipe bowl and blocking the entrance with a pearl-oyster.

"'Humanitarianism!' warbled the Jelly-Fish, as he choked three sea-melons and a quart of sea-mushrooms into the mouth of a sick Grampus.

"'Paganism! Barbarianism!' retorted the King-iyo, punching the Jelly-Fish.

"'Optimism! Universalism!' sweetly chanted the Conger-Eel, but as he spoke the entire convention broke up and floated away, leaving the little Sea-Urchins crying for their supper, and only a debt of colossal proportions to mark the site of the proposed Home."

"And how do you propose to avoid the fate of the Fish Society?" Ethel asked, after the storm of applause which followed Winnie's paper had subsided.

"By recognizing, from the first, that we unite only for this special purpose, and that we all have very varied and contradictory opinions, which we will make no attempt to reconcile or ventilate. I think we can make our very differences an element of strength, if it is acknowledged from the outset that we are to be different. As Corresponding Secretary of our Ten I have received the most encouraging reports from the girls.

They are all working hard for the Home, and all working in different ways, and each seems to think that the Home belongs to her individually--as it really does--and that her organization is responsible for its success. I am sure that when we next meet, the girls will accept Mrs. Middleton's proposition to have the Home of the Elder Brother entered as one of the Dutch Reformed charities, and I hope that each of the other girls will take measures to have it recognized as one of the charities of her particular church organization. I have a letter from Little Breeze, saying that the Friends' Meeting in Philadelphia, of which her mother is a member, propose to own a bed in the Home; and Puss Seligman writes that the Hebrew Charitable a.s.sociation, of which her brother is Vice-President, have voted to hold themselves responsible for every child of their race whom we entertain. Cynthia Vaughn reports that the Church of ----burgh, Pennsylvania, will keep us in coal on condition that a delegation of the children go to the Baptist Sunday-school. Miss Prillwitz has already divided the Home into detachments, sending the children, as far as possible, to the churches which their mothers prefer, and there is a strong division of Baptists."

"I think," said Ethel, "that our Methodist Church would like to have a share in the work. I am sure that father will be glad to supply you with milk and b.u.t.ter as his own private subscription."

The President of the Loyal Legion then spoke up, and proposed that their organization furnish barrels and make the rounds of the farms in procession, soliciting apples and potatoes, which they would freight to the Home, on condition that a Loyal Legion Temperance Society be organized among the children of the Elder Brother, to be considered as a branch of the Scup Harbor Legion.

The Cheer-up Ten from the Corners held a brief meeting in the orchard, and returned to report that they had decided to adopt one of our children to clothe. They desired that the child of the poorest parents be a.s.signed them, and promised that if the proper measurements were sent, they would keep it respectably dressed in garments of their own make.

I suggested little Georgie, a child rescued from Mrs. Grogan, whose mother could only furnish fifty cents a week from her scanty earnings for his support; and our convention broke up for that day, after partaking of strawberries and cream, singing a good old hymn, slightly altered for the occasion by Winnie.

"Here we raise our Ebenezer, Hither by G.o.d's grace we come; And we hope, by His good pleasure, Long we may remain a Home."

NOTE.--The Messiah Home, 4 Rutherford Place, New York, a charity founded for children by children, whose beautiful work suggested to the author this simple story, has been greatly helped by circles of the King's Daughters, several of whom have adopted children to clothe after the manner of the Cheer-up Ten. The writer commends this work to any other circles of the King's Daughters eager to do the work of the Elder Brother.

CHAPTER XIV.

OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY.

"When smale foules maken melodie, That sleepen alle night with open eye, Than longen folk to gon on pilgrimages."