Argeneau Book 21 - Page 75

“We thought you’d left without us,” Basil admitted as he closed the door and claimed the seat next to her.

“We drove around the block,” she muttered as she did up her seat belt. When she finished and straightened, she found Lucian in the front pa.s.senger seat, peering from her to Bricker with a glowering expression. He, of course, could read her. Grimacing, she pointed out, “We came back for you.”

“Bricker always intended to. You, however, only agreed because you are concerned about your father’s family jewels,” Lucian said dryly.

“You are?” Basil asked with concern, taking her hand.

“Er . . . actually, the family jewels aren’t what are imperiled,” Bricker announced. “Family jewels are the t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es, Lucian. Not the ding-dong.”

“Well then give me another name for the item in question, because I am not saying ding-dong again. It’s ridiculous.”

“You just did . . . say it again, I mean,” Bricker pointed out with amus.e.m.e.nt, and when Lucian scowled at him, he shrugged. “Okay, well let’s see, there’s ankle spanker.”

Sherry blinked at the name. “Ankle spanker? Seriously? No man is that big.”

Justin considered for a minute. “Okay then, how about disco stick, or bed snake?”

When Lucian merely scowled at him, he shrugged and offered more suggestions.

“Winkie? Flesh flute? Tallywhacker? Baby maker? Quiver bone? Joystick? Fun stick? Lap rocket? Love muscle? Wedding tackle? One-eyed wonder weasel? Helmet head? w.a.n.g? Trouser snake? Giggle stick? s.c.h.l.o.n.g? Mushroom head? Love rod? p.e.c.k.e.r? Thundersw—”

“Enough!” Lucian barked, and when Bricker paused and glanced to him questioningly, he said, “I do not know what alarms me more, that you have so many names for c.o.c.k or what it means in regard to how much time you spend thinking about c.o.c.k.” And then arching an eyebrow, he asked, “Is there something you wish to tell us, Bricker?”

“What?” Justin said with dismay, and then he squawked, “No! I read them online once. This Web site had, like, a hundred and seventy or eighty names like that. Those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head.”

“Hmm,” Lucian muttered dubiously. “Well, since you just went through a red light, I suggest you stop thinking about c.o.c.k and pay attention to the road.”

“Fine,” Bricker snapped, and then muttered, “Jeez, try to help a guy out . . .”

Lucian ignored him and turned in his seat to peer at Sherry. “So . . . you are concerned about your father’s equipment.”

“Yes, of course,” Sherry said with a frown. “Wouldn’t you be?”

“I could not care less about your father’s equipment,” Lucian a.s.sured her dryly.

“What if it was your father?” Sherry asked grimly. “And stop talking about his equipment. According to you guys, it would heal, but I’m concerned about the pain punis.h.i.+ng him like that would put him through.”

“You don’t think he deserves it?” Lucian asked mildly. “Your mother did nearly kill herself, and you,” he added heavily, “because of what he did to her.”

“But she didn’t,” Sherry said quietly. “And he has spent the last thirty-two years trying to make up for it. Don’t you guys have a statute of limitations on your crimes?”

“Honey,” Basil said quietly, taking her hand. “If we let him go unpunished, we could be accused of favoritism, because he’s your father. We can’t have one law for us and another for those who aren’t connected to the families.”

“Aside from that,” Lucian said, “others might think we are softening and may commit the offense, expecting we will let them get away with it too.”

Sherry ground her teeth with frustration, but it was Justin who said, “It’s a pretty barbaric law anyway. I mean, times have changed. Divorce is more common, and husbands don’t usually kill wives now for infidelity . . . well, not in most countries.”

“So, that makes it all right for an immortal to use our abilities to interfere in a marriage that otherwise might have been fine?” Lucian asked. “To make a woman have s.e.x when she otherwise would not have?”

“No, I suppose not,” Justin said on a sigh, and then rallied and added, “But if that’s the concern, then the law should apply to immortal women now too. A wife is just as likely to divorce her husband if he is unfaithful as a man is now. At least here.”

“He’s right,” Basil said solemnly. “When we made the law, mortal men had mistresses by course. The wife not only often knew that, but expected it. Now . . .” He shrugged.

Lucian nodded. “We shall have to revisit the law.”

“I don’t care about your law, I care about my father,” Sherry said with frustration. “He has tried to make amends. As far as I know, he’s never even dated since then.”

“What?” Bricker asked with amazement, meeting her gaze in the rearview mirror. “Seriously?”

“As far as I know, he never dated anyone as Lex or Zander. And while I was young at the time, I don’t think he did as Uncle Al either.”

There was silence for a moment and then Lucian and Basil exchanged a glance, before Lucian said. “We shall talk to your father when we get to the house. I will read him and see what he has or hasn’t done.”

“And then?” Sherry demanded.

“And then we shall see,” he said simply.

“Maybe you could give him a suspended sentence,” Sherry suggested. “You know, permanent probation or whatever. If he never does it again, he’s fine. But if he does, he receives the punishment for this time plus that time.”

“We shall see,” is all Lucian said, and then he turned and faced front, making it obvious the conversation was closed.

Sherry sat back in her seat with a little sigh and then glanced to Basil when he squeezed her hand.

“You don’t seem to be as angry with your father as you first were,” he pointed out solemnly.

Sherry grimaced, and then admitted, “Elvi said some things that made me think, and then when Leo had me . . .” She bit her lip as she recalled her fear then, but pushed past it and said, “I remembered the good about him instead of the bad. He was basically my father as a child after my brother died, taking me to cla.s.ses and the science center, helping me with my homework . . . He even cooked my dinner for me on occasion when Mom worked late. He was lousy at it,” she admitted with a crooked smile. “But he tried.”