Balada: When death did not exist, nor yet Eternity Part I 018

Extract from the book “Confessions, an Admirals tale volume I”

There were many things I had done these past few days which are open for debate, I walked about the various installations and positions of the division.

To the common soldier it looked like I was doing a routine inspection, which was expected of the newly minted Commodore of this corps, which I was, but that was not the real reason for my walks.

My main motivation for doing them was to fight off insomnia and as an afterthought I was checking all possible escape routes into the forest and the state of the fuel and s.h.i.+ps, so if need be I could desert my command.

 The thought of leaving and never coming back, was ever prevalent in my mind, especially since in this age’s warfare even a grand admiral is in the same amount of danger as the most worthless foot soldier.

 I could have easily taken one of the s.h.i.+ps since I was an excellent liar, navigate it to some remote planet, and hide there for the rest of my life, I could have and believe me the great fear I had for the upcoming battle was a great motivator, but I didn’t.

Why, you may ask? Well, I am not so sure of the answer myself; perhaps it was that nagging feeling in my head which told me that fleeing in one s.h.i.+p while still within hostile territory was not exactly the brightest idea.

 Also it would look odd if the commander was suddenly taking a s.h.i.+ps for a ‘field test’ right before a battle, so I would probably be arrested and court-martialed for trying such, and then sentenced to the firing squad, so certain death if I ran, almost if I stayed. (I guess that is a good enough reason not to desert as any).

Dear G.o.d! Sometimes life’s very hard for me, though I suspect that it is not true since I have seen other wretches who have it far worse than me and no  matter how hard my life gets, one look at them and I feel grateful that even when it gets bad, it could always get worse.

 Thus I found myself at the foremost position of our surprise attack, watching our artillery’s preliminary bombardment.

Something like this was expected of a sailor of my reputation, the Fox of Marengo, Hero of the Empire or whatever silly name the press calls me now, would always lead from the front!

 And it’s moments like this I wish I just said kriff you to Commodore Crackerjack, and ran away from him faster than he can say ‘here is your commission’ all those years ago, but the past is the past and the only thing you get if you linger too much is regret so I suppose I should move on, but that’s just my opinion and it’s only works for me.

 Or so I thought, but if I’d know just what a nightmare being stationed in this particular area of the galaxy would have been at the time I would have done so, and also included in the insult his wife, siblings ,mother, father and kitchenware to boot!”

Metternich per Pelasgiamus, Freelance Potions maker