The Spectator Volume Iii Part 6

[Footnote 2: [horrid]]

[Footnote 3: [that]]

No. 429. Sat.u.r.day, July 12, 1712. Steele.

'--Populumque falsis dedocet uti Vocibus--'

_Mr_. SPECTATOR,

Since I gave an Account of an agreeable Set of Company which were gone down into the Country, I have received Advices from thence, that the Inst.i.tution of an Infirmary for those who should be out of Humour, has had very good Effects. My Letters mention particular Circ.u.mstances of two or three Persons, who had the good Sense to retire of their own Accord, and notified that they were withdrawn, with the Reasons of it, to the Company, in their respective Memorials.

_The Memorial of Mrs_. Mary Dainty, _Spinster_,

Humbly Sheweth,

That conscious of her own want of Merit, accompanied with a Vanity of being admired, she had gone into Exile of her own accord.

She is sensible, that a vain Person is the most insufferable Creature living in a well-bred a.s.sembly.

That she desired, before she appeared in publick again, she might have a.s.surances, that tho' she might be thought handsome, there might not more Address or Compliment be paid to her, than to the rest of the Company.

That she conceived it a kind of Superiority, that one Person should take upon him to commend another.

Lastly, That she went into the Infirmary, to avoid a particular Person who took upon him to profess an Admiration of her.

She therefore prayed, that to applaud out of due place, might be declar'd an Offence, and punished in the same Manner with Detraction, in that the latter did but report Persons defective, and the former made them so.

All which is submitted, &c.

There appeared a Delicacy and Sincerity in this Memorial very uncommon, but my Friend informs me, that the Allegations of it were groundless, insomuch that this Declaration of an Aversion to being praised, was understood to be no other than a secret Trap to purchase it, for which Reason it lies still on the Table unanswered.

_The humble Memorial of the Lady_ Lydia Loller, Sheweth,

That the Lady _Lydia_ is a Woman of Quality; married to a private Gentleman.

That she finds her self neither well nor ill.

That her Husband is a Clown.

That Lady _Lydia_ cannot see Company. That she desires the Infirmary may be her Apartment during her stay in the Country.

That they would please to make merry with their Equals.

That Mr. _Loller_ might stay with them if he thought fit.

It was immediately resolved, that Lady _Lydia_ was still at _London._

_The humble Memorial_ of Thomas Sudden, _Esq_., of the Inner-Temple, Sheweth,

That Mr. _Sudden_ is conscious that he is too much given to Argumentation.

That he talks loud.

That he is apt to think all things matter of Debate.

That he stayed behind in _Westminster-Hall_, when the late Shake of the Roof happened, only because a Council of the other Side a.s.serted it was coming down.

That he cannot for his Life consent to any thing.

That he stays in the Infirmary to forget himself.

That as soon as he has forgot himself, he will wait on the Company.

His Indisposition was allowed to be sufficient to require a Cessation from Company.

_The Memorial_ of Frank Jolly, Sheweth,

That he hath put himself into the Infirmary, in regard he is sensible of a certain rustick Mirth which renders him unfit for polite Conversation.

That he intends to prepare himself by Abstinence and thin Diet to be one of the Company.

That at present he comes into a Room as if he were an Express from Abroad.

That he has chosen an Apartment with a matted Anti-Chamber, to practise Motion without being heard.

That he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps himself before a Gla.s.s, to learn to act with Moderation.

That by reason of his luxuriant Health he is oppressive to Persons of composed Behaviour.

That he is endeavouring to forget the Word _Pshaw, Pshaw_.

That he is also weaning himself from his Cane.