''Abe'' Lincoln's Yarns and Stories Part 16

"No," rejoined the President, "you fell off about six hundred votes."

Then taking down from the bookcase the official canva.s.s of 1860 and 1864, he referred to the vote of the district named, and proved to be quite right in his a.s.sertion.

ONLY HALF A MAN.

As President Lincoln, arm in arm with ex-President Buchanan, entered the Capitol, and pa.s.sed into the Senate Chamber, filled to overflowing with Senators, members of the Diplomatic Corps, and visitors, the contrast between the two men struck every observer.

"Mr. Buchanan was so withered and bowed with age," wrote George W. Julian, of Indiana, who was among the spectators, "that in contrast with the towering form of Mr. Lincoln he seemed little more than half a man."

GRANT CONGRATULATED LINCOLN.

As soon as the result of the Presidential election of 1864 was known, General Grant telegraphed from City Point his congratulations, and added that "the election having pa.s.sed off quietly... is a victory worth more to the country than a battle won."

"BRUTUS AND CAESAR."

London "Punch" persistently maintained throughout the War for the Union that the question of what to do with the blacks was the most bothersome of all the problems President Lincoln had to solve. "Punch" thought the Rebellion had its origin in an effort to determine whether there should or should not be slavery in the United States, and was fought with this as the main end in view. "Punch" of August 15th, 1863, contained the cartoon reproduced on this page, the t.i.tle being "Brutus and Caesar."

President Lincoln was pictured as Brutus, while the ghost of Caesar, which appeared in the tent of the American Brutus during the dark hours of the night, was represented in the shape of a husky and anything but ghost-like African, whose complexion would tend to make the blackest tar look like skimmed milk in comparison. This was the text below the cartoon: (From the American Edition of Shakespeare.) The Tent of Brutus (Lincoln). Night. Enter the Ghost of Caesar.

BRUTUS: "Wall, now! Do tell! Who's you?"

CAESAR: "I am dy ebil genus, Ma.s.sa Linking. Dis child am awful impressional!"

"Punch's" cartoons were decidedly unfriendly in tone toward President Lincoln, some of them being not only objectionable in the display of bad taste, but offensive and vulgar. It is true that after the a.s.sa.s.sination of the President, "Punch," in ill.u.s.trations, paid marked and deserved tribute to the memory of the Great Emanc.i.p.ator, but it had little that was good to say of him while he was among the living and engaged in carrying out the great work for which he was destined to win eternal fame.

HOW STANTON GOT INTO THE CABINET.

President Lincoln, well aware of Stanton's unfriendliness, was surprised when Secretary of the Treasury Chase told him that Stanton had expressed the opinion that the arrest of the Confederate Commissioners, Mason and Slidell, was legal and justified by international law. The President asked Secretary Chase to invite Stanton to the White House, and Stanton came. Mr. Lincoln thanked him for the opinion he had expressed, and asked him to put it in writing.

Stanton complied, the President read it carefully, and, after putting it away, astounded Stanton by offering him the portfolio of War. Stanton was a Democrat, had been one of the President's most persistent vilifiers, and could not realize, at first, that Lincoln meant what he said. He managed, however to say: "I am both surprised and embarra.s.sed, Mr. President, and would ask a couple of days to consider this most important matter."

Lincoln fully understood what was going on in Stanton's mind, and then said: "This is a very critical period in the life of the nation, Mr. Stanton, as you are well aware, and I well know you are as much interested in sustaining the government as myself or any other man. This is no time to consider mere party issues. The life of the nation is in danger. I need the best counsellors around me. I have every confidence in your judgment, and have concluded to ask you to become one of my counsellors. The office of the Secretary of War will soon be vacant, and I am anxious to have you take Mr. Cameron's place."

Stanton decided to accept.

"ABE" LIKE HIS FATHER.

"Abe" Lincoln's father was never at loss for an answer. An old neighbor of Thomas Lincoln--"Abe's" father--was pa.s.sing the Lincoln farm one day, when he saw "Abe's" father grubbing up some hazelnut bushes, and said to him: "Why, Grandpap, I thought you wanted to sell your farm?"

"And so I do," he replied, "but I ain't goin' to let my farm know it."

"'Abe's' jes' like his father," the old ones would say.

"NO MOON AT ALL."

One of the most notable of Lincoln's law cases was that in which he defended William D. Armstrong, charged with murder. The case was one which was watched during its progress with intense interest, and it had a most dramatic ending.

The defendant was the son of Jack and Hannah Armstrong. The father was dead, but Hannah, who had been very motherly and helpful to Lincoln during his life at New Salem, was still living, and asked Lincoln to defend him. Young Armstrong had been a wild lad, and was often in bad company.

The princ.i.p.al witness had sworn that he saw young Armstrong strike the fatal blow, the moon being very bright at the time.

Lincoln brought forward the almanac, which showed that at the time the murder was committed there was no moon at all. In his argument, Lincoln's speech was so feelingly made that at its close all the men in the jury-box were in tears. It was just half an hour when the jury returned a verdict of acquittal.

Lincoln would accept no fee except the thanks of the anxious mother.

"ABE" A SUPERB MIMIC.

Lincoln's reading in his early days embraced a wide range. He was particularly fond of all stories containing fun, wit and humor, and every one of these he came across he learned by heart, thus adding to his personal store.

He improved as a reciter and retailer of the stories he had read and heard, and as the reciter of tales of his own invention, and he had ready and eager auditors.

Judge Herndon, in his "Abraham Lincoln," relates that as a mimic Lincoln was unequalled. An old neighbor said: "His laugh was striking. Such awkward gestures belonged to no other man. They attracted universal attention, from the old and sedate down to the schoolboy. Then, in a few moments, he was as calm and thoughtful as a judge on the bench, and as ready to give advice on the most important matters; fun and gravity grew on him alike."

WHY HE WAS CALLED "HONEST ABE."

During the year Lincoln was in Denton Offutt's store at New Salem, that gentleman, whose business was somewhat widely and unwisely spread about the country, ceased to prosper in his finances and finally failed. The store was shut up, the mill was closed, and Abraham Lincoln was out of business.

The year had been one of great advance, in many respects. He had made new and valuable acquaintances, read many books, mastered the grammar of his own tongue, won mult.i.tudes of friends, and became ready for a step still further in advance.

Those who could appreciate brains respected him, and those whose ideas of a man related to his muscles were devoted to him. It was while he was performing the work of the store that he acquired the sobriquet of "Honest Abe"--a characterization he never dishonored, and an abbreviation that he never outgrew.

He was judge, arbitrator, referee, umpire, authority, in all disputes, games and matches of man-flesh, horse-flesh, a pacificator in all quarrels; everybody's friend; the best-natured, the most sensible, the best-informed, the most modest and una.s.suming, the kindest, gentlest, roughest, strongest, best fellow in all New Salem and the region round about.

"ABE'S" NAME REMAINED ON THE SIGN.

Enduring friends.h.i.+p and love of old a.s.sociations were prominent characteristics of President Lincoln. When about to leave Springfield for Was.h.i.+ngton, he went to the dingy little law office which had sheltered his saddest hours.

He sat down on the couch, and said to his law partner, Judge Herndon: "Billy, you and I have been together for more than twenty years, and have never pa.s.sed a word. Will you let my name stay on the old sign until I come back from Was.h.i.+ngton?"

The tears started to Herndon's eyes. He put out his hand. "Mr. Lincoln," said he, "I never will have any other partner while you live"; and to the day of a.s.sa.s.sination, all the doings of the firm were in the name of "Lincoln & Herndon."

VERY HOMELY AT FIRST SIGHT.

Early in January, 1861, Colonel Alex. K. McClure, of Philadelphia, received a telegram from President-elect Lincoln, asking him (McClure) to visit him at Springfield, Illinois. Colonel McClure described his disappointment at first sight of Lincoln in these words: "I went directly from the depot to Lincoln's house and rang the bell, which was answered by Lincoln himself opening the door. I doubt whether a wholly concealed my disappointment at meeting him.

"Tall, gaunt, ungainly, ill clad, with a homeliness of manner that was unique in itself, I confess that my heart sank within me as I remembered that this was the man chosen by a great nation to become its ruler in the gravest period of its history.

"I remember his dress as if it were but yesterday--snuff-colored and slouchy pantaloons, open black vest, held by a few bra.s.s b.u.t.tons; straight or evening dresscoat, with tightly fitting sleeves to exaggerate his long, bony arms, and all supplemented by an awkwardness that was uncommon among men of intelligence.

"Such was the picture I met in the person of Abraham Lincoln. We sat down in his plainly furnished parlor, and were uninterrupted during the nearly four hours that I remained with him, and little by little, as his earnestness, sincerity and candor were developed in conversation, I forgot all the grotesque qualities which so confounded me when I first greeted him."

THE MAN TO TRUST.

"If a man is honest in his mind," said Lincoln one day, long before he became President, "you are pretty safe in trusting him."

"WUZ GOIN' TER BE 'HITCHED."'

"Abe's" nephew--or one of them--related a story in connection with Lincoln's first love (Anne Rutledge), and his subsequent marriage to Miss Mary Todd. This nephew was a plain, every-day farmer, and thought everything of his uncle, whose greatness he quite thoroughly appreciated, although he did not pose to any extreme as the relative of a President of the United States.

Said he one day, in telling his story: "Us child'en, w'en we heerd Uncle 'Abe' wuz a-goin' to be married, axed Gran'ma ef Uncle 'Abe' never hed hed a gal afore, an' she says, sez she, 'Well, "Abe" wuz never a han' nohow to run 'round visitin' much, or go with the gals, neither, but he did fall in love with a Anne Rutledge, who lived out near Springfield, an' after she died he'd come home an' ev'ry time he'd talk 'bout her, he cried dreadful. He never could talk of her nohow 'thout he'd jes' cry an' cry, like a young feller.'

"Onct he tol' Gran'ma they wuz goin' ter be hitched, they havin' promised each other, an' thet is all we ever heered 'bout it. But, so it wuz, that arter Uncle 'Abe' hed got over his mournin', he wuz married ter a woman w'ich hed lived down in Kentuck.

"Uncle 'Abe' hisself tol' us he wuz married the nex' time he come up ter our place, an' w'en we ast him why he didn't bring his wife up to see us, he said: 'She's very busy and can't come.'

"But we knowed better'n that. He wuz too proud to bring her up,'cause nothin' would suit her, nohow. She wuzn't raised the way we wuz, an' wuz different from us, and we heerd, tu, she wuz as proud as cud be.

"No, an' he never brought none uv the child'en, neither.

"But then, Uncle 'Abe,' he wuzn't to blame. We never thought he wuz stuck up."

HE PROPOSED TO SAVE THE UNION.

Replying to an editorial written by Horace Greeley, the President wrote: "My paramount object is to save the Union, and not either to save or to destroy slavery.

"If I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it.

"If I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it; and if I could do it by freeing some and leaving others alone, I would also do that.

"What I do about slavery and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save this Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union.

"I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I believe doing more will help the cause."

THE SAME OLD RUM.

One of President Lincoln's friends, visiting at the White House, was finding considerable fault with the constant agitation in Congress of the slavery question. He remarked that, after the adoption of the Emanc.i.p.ation policy, he had hoped for something new.

"There was a man down in Maine," said the President, in reply, "who kept a grocery store, and a lot of fellows used to loaf around for their toddy. He only gave 'em New England rum, and they drank pretty considerable of it. But after awhile they began to get tired of that, and kept asking for something new--something new--all the time. Well, one night, when the whole crowd were around, the grocer brought out his gla.s.ses, and says he, 'I've got something New for you to drink, boys, now.'

"'Honor bright?' said they.

"'Honor bright,' says he, and with that he sets out a jug. 'Thar' says he, 'that's something new; it's New England rum!' says he.

"Now," remarked the President, in conclusion, "I guess we're a good deal like that crowd, and Congress is a good deal like that store-keeper!"

SAVED LINCOLN'S LIFE When Mr. Lincoln was quite a small boy he met with an accident that almost cost him his life. He was saved by Austin Gollaher, a young playmate. Mr. Gollaher lived to be more than ninety years of age, and to the day of his death related with great pride his boyhood a.s.sociation with Lincoln.

"Yes," Mr. Gollaher once said, "the story that I once saved Abraham Lincoln's life is true. He and I had been going to school together for a year or more, and had become greatly attached to each other. Then school disbanded on account of there being so few scholars, and we did not see each other much for a long while.

"One Sunday my mother visited the Lincolns, and I was taken along. 'Abe' and I played around all day. Finally, we concluded to cross the creek to hunt for some partridges young Lincoln had seen the day before. The creek was swollen by a recent rain, and, in crossing on the narrow footlog, 'Abe' fell in. Neither of us could swim. I got a long pole and held it out to 'Abe,' who grabbed it. Then I pulled him ash.o.r.e.

"He was almost dead, and I was badly scared. I rolled and pounded him in good earnest. Then I got him by the arms and shook him, the water meanwhile pouring out of his mouth. By this means I succeeded in bringing him to, and he was soon all right.

"Then a new difficulty confronted us. If our mothers discovered our wet clothes they would whip us. This we dreaded from experience, and determined to avoid. It was June, the sun was very warm, and we soon dried our clothing by spreading it on the rocks about us. We promised never to tell the story, and I never did until after Lincoln's tragic end."

WOULD NOT RECALL A SINGLE WORD.

In conversation with some friends at the White House on New Year's evening, 1863, President Lincoln said, concerning his Emanc.i.p.ation Proclamation: "The signature looks a little tremulous, for my hand was tired, but my resolution was firm.

"I told them in September, if they did not return to their allegiance, and cease murdering our soldiers, I would strike at this pillar of their strength.

"And now the promise shall be kept, and not one word of it will I ever recall."

OLD BROOM BEST AFTER ALL.

During the time the enemies of General Grant were making their bitterest attacks upon him, and demanding that the President remove him from command, "Frank Leslie's Ill.u.s.trated Newspaper," of June 13, 1863, came out with the cartoon reproduced. The text printed under the picture was to the following effect: OLD ABE: "Greeley be hanged! I want no more new brooms. I begin to think that the worst thing about my old ones was in not being handled right."

The old broom the President holds in his right hand is labeled "Grant." The latter had captured Fort Donelson, defeated the Confederates at s.h.i.+loh, Iuka, Port Gibson, and other places, and had Vicksburg in his iron grasp. When the demand was made that Lincoln depose Grant, the President answered, "I can't spare this man; he fights!" Grant never lost a battle and when he found the enemy he always fought him. McClellan, Burnside, Pope and Hooker had been found wanting, so Lincoln pinned his faith to Grant. As noted in the cartoon, Horace Greeley, editor of the New York Tribune, Thurlow Weed, and others wanted Lincoln to try some other new brooms, but President Lincoln was wearied with defeats, and wanted a few victories to offset them. Therefore; he stood by Grant, who gave him victories.

G.o.d WITH A LITTLE "g."

Abraham Lincoln his hand and pen he will be good but G.o.d Knows When These lines were found written in young Lincoln's own hand at the bottom of a page whereon he had been ciphering. Lincoln always wrote a clear, regular "fist." In this instance he evidently did not appreciate the sacredness of the name of the Deity, when he used a little "g."

Lincoln once said he did not remember the time when he could not write.

"ABE'S" LOG.

It was the custom in Sangamon for the "menfolks" to gather at noon and in the evening, when resting, in a convenient lane near the mill. They had rolled out a long peeled log, on which they lounged while they whittled and talked.

Lincoln had not been long in Sangamon before he joined this circle. At once he became a favorite by his jokes and good-humor. As soon as he appeared at the a.s.sembly ground the men would start him to story-telling. So irresistibly droll were his "yarns" that whenever he'd end up in his unexpected way the boys on the log would whoop and roll off. The result of the rolling off was to polish the log like a mirror. The men, recognizing Lincoln's part in this polis.h.i.+ng, christened their seat "Abe's log."

Long after Lincoln had disappeared from Sangamon, "Abe's log" remained, and until it had rotted away people pointed it out, and repeated the droll stories of the stranger.

IT WAS A FINE FIZZLE.

President Lincoln, in company with General Grant, was inspecting the Dutch Gap Ca.n.a.l at City Point. "Grant, do you know what this reminds me of? Out in Springfield, Ill., there was a blacksmith who, not having much to do, took a piece of soft iron and attempted to weld it into an agricultural implement, but discovered that the iron would not hold out; then he concluded it would make a claw hammer; but having too much iron, attempted to make an ax, but decided after working awhile that there was not enough iron left. Finally, becoming disgusted, he filled the forge full of coal and brought the iron to a white heat; then with his tongs he lifted it from the bed of coals, and thrusting it into a tub of water near by, exclaimed: 'Well, if I can't make anything else of you, I will make a fizzle, anyhow.'" "I was afraid that was about what we had done with the Dutch Gap Ca.n.a.l," said General Grant.

A TEETOTALER.

When Lincoln was in the Black Hawk War as captain, the volunteer soldiers drank in with delight the jests and stories of the tall captain. Aesop's Fables were given a new dress, and the tales of the wild adventures that he had brought from Kentucky and Indiana were many, but his inspiration was never stimulated by recourse to the whisky jug.

When his grateful and delighted auditors pressed this on him he had one reply: "Thank you, I never drink it."

NOT TO "OPEN SHOP" THERE.

President Lincoln was pa.s.sing down Pennsylvania avenue in Was.h.i.+ngton one day, when a man came running after him, hailed him, and thrust a bundle of papers in his hands.

It angered him not a little, and he pitched the papers back, saying, "I'm not going to open shop here."

WE HAVE LIBERTY OF ALL KINDS.

Lincoln delivered a remarkable speech at Springfield, Illinois, when but twenty-eight years of age, upon the liberty possessed by the people of the United States.

In part, he said: "In the great journal of things happening under the sun, we, the American people, find our account running under date of the nineteenth century of the Christian era.

"We find ourselves in the peaceful possession of the fairest portion of the earth as regards extent of territory, fertility of soil, and salubrity of climate.

"We find ourselves under the government of a system of political inst.i.tutions conducing more essentially to the ends of civil and religious liberty than any of which history of former times tells us.