Mr. Pim Passes By Part 14

LADY MARDEN. George, you never told me this!

GEORGE. I--er----

OLIVIA. I don't see _why_ he should want to talk about it.

DINAH (_indignantly rising and moving to L. end of settee_ L.). What's it got to do with Olivia, anyhow? It's not _her_ fault.

LADY MARDEN (_sarcastically and emphatically_). Oh, no, I daresay it's mine.

(_There is an uncomfortable pause_.)

OLIVIA (_to_ GEORGE). You wanted to ask Aunt Julia what was the right thing to do.

BRIAN (_crossing down L.C. and bursting out_). Good Heavens, what is there to do except the one and only thing? (_They all look at him and he becomes embarra.s.sed and backs up stage a little_.) I'm sorry. You don't want _me_ to----

OLIVIA (_taking his hand across table_ L.C.). _I_ do, Brian.

LADY MARDEN. Well, go on, Mr. Strange. What would _you_ do in George's position?

BRIAN (_crosses down to back of table_ L.C.). Do? Say to the woman I loved, "You're _mine_ (_bangs table with his fist_), and let this other d.a.m.ned fellow come and take you from me if he can!" And he couldn't--how could he?--not if the woman chose _me_.

(LADY MARDEN _gazes at_ BRIAN _in amazement_, GEORGE _in anger_. OLIVIA _presses his hand gratefully. He has said what she has been waiting--oh, so eagerly--for_ GEORGE _to say_. GEORGE _rises and goes angrily up to_ BRIAN, _who defies him_. GEORGE _is subdued and moves helplessly up_ C.

_followed by_ BRIAN, _who is still defiant_. DINAH _rises and runs up_ L.

_and round back of settee_ L. _and up to left of_ BRIAN _and takes his arm_.)

DINAH (_adoringly_). Oh, Brian! (_In a loud whisper_.) It _is_ me, isn't it, and not Olivia?

BRIAN. You baby, of course!

LADY MARDEN. I'm afraid, Mr. Strange (DINAH _with an exclamation of annoyance comes down to_ L. _of settee_ L.), your morals are as peculiar as your views on Art.

BRIAN (_down to back of table_ L.C.). This is not a question of morals or of art, it's a question of love.

DINAH. Hear, hear!

LADY MARDEN (_to_ GEORGE). Isn't it that girl's bed-time yet?

OLIVIA (_to_ DINAH _and taking her hand_). We'll let her sit up a little longer if she's good.

DINAH. I will be good, Olivia (_aggressively to_ LADY MARDEN), only I thought anybody, however important a debate was, was allowed to say "Hear, hear!"

GEORGE (_coming down_ C.). Really, Olivia, I really think we could discuss this better if Mr. Strange took Dinah out for a walk. Strange, If you--er----

OLIVIA. Tell them what you have settled first, George.

LADY MARDEN. Settled? What is there to be settled? It settles itself.

GEORGE (_sadly_). That's just it.

LADY MARDEN. The marriage must be annulled--is that the word, George?

GEORGE. I presume so. (_Sits on stool_ C.)

LADY MARDEN. One's solicitor will know all about that, of course.

BRIAN. And when the marriage has been annulled, what then?

LADY MARDEN. Presumably Olivia will return to her husband.

BRIAN (_bitterly to_ LADY MARDEN). And _that's_ morality! As expounded by Bishop Landseer!

GEORGE (_angered, rising and facing_ BRIAN). I don't know what you mean by Bishop Landseer. Morality is acting in accordance with the Laws of the Land and the Laws of the Church. I am quite prepared to believe that your creed embraces neither marriage (DINAH _gives a little cry and bangs a cus.h.i.+on on settee angrily_) nor monogamy, but my creed is different.

BRIAN (_fiercely_). My creed includes both marriage and monogamy, and monogamy means sticking to the woman you love, as long as she wants you.

LADY MARDEN (_calmly_). You suggest that George and Olivia should go on living together, although they have never been legally married. Bless the man, what do you think the County would say?

BRIAN (_scornfully_). Does it matter?

DINAH. Well, if you really want to know, the men would say, "Gad, she's a fine woman; I don't wonder he sticks to her," and the women would say, "I can't _think_ what he sees in her to stick to her like that," and they'd both say, "After all, he may be a d.a.m.n fool, but you can't deny he's a sportsman."

(LADY MARDEN _is very indignant_.)

GEORGE (_indignantly_). Was it for this sort of thing Olivia, that you insisted on having Dinah and Mr. Strange in here? To insult me in my own house?

LADY MARDEN. I can't think what young people are coming to nowadays.

OLIVIA. I think, dear, you and Brian had better go.

DINAH (_getting up_). We will go. (_Crossing below_ OLIVIA _and putting her knee on stool and looking cheekily up into_ GEORGE's _face_.) But I'm just going to say one thing, Uncle George. Brian and I _are_ going to marry each other, and when we are married we'll stick to each other, however many of our dead husbands and wives turn up! Come on, Brian.

(_She goes up_ C. _and through window and goes out indignantly, followed by_ BRIAN R.)

(GEORGE _follows them up_.)

GEORGE. Upon my word, this is a pleasant discussion.

OLIVIA. I think the discussion is over, George. It is only a question of where I shall go, while you are bringing your--what sort of suit did you call it?

LADY MARDEN (_to_ GEORGE). Nullity suit. I suppose that _is_ the best thing?

GEORGE. It's horrible. (_Moving down between stool and_ LADY MARDEN.) The awful publicity. That it should be happening to _us_, that's what I can't get over.

LADY MARDEN. I don't remember anything of the sort in the Marden Family before, ever.

GEORGE (_absently_). Lady f.a.n.n.y.

LADY MARDEN (_recollecting_). Yes, of course; but that was two hundred years ago. The standards were different then. (_Rising and going up_ C.

_to_ R.) Besides, it wasn't quite the same, anyhow.