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The girl he loved! Bah! I knew her, though I did not tell him so. She was a dark-haired, pink-and-white beauty that flitted through artistic Bohemia like a b.u.t.terfly in a hothouse. The sight of the pictured face brought back to me the memory of days long past--of a closed chapter in my life's history. I remembered the first time I saw Ethel Broughton, fully five years before. She wore a soiled pink wrapper, her satin slippers were trodden down at heel, and she had a bottle of champagne at her elbow. At that time her lover, grandiloquent and impecunious Mr.
Harry Oranmore, a bad but handsome actor, had been untrue to her, and she, a third-rate actress, who had an _ingenue_ part at a Strand theatre, was reviling him. I had been taken to her house and introduced by a mutual friend, but she scarcely heeded me. Probably she was thinking of Oranmore, for she clasped her slim fingers round her suffering throat, and offered up an occasional sob, following it with a silent but protracted draught from her gla.s.s.
The result of this interview was but natural. Dazzled by her beauty, I sympathised with her, endeavoured to cheer her, and concluded by falling violently in love with her. At that time I was writing numbers of dramatic criticisms, and I confess I used what weight my opinions possessed for the purpose of her advancement. It is needless to refer to the smooth and uninterrupted course of our love. Suffice it to say that we were both Bohemians, and that within a year I had the satisfaction of sitting before the footlights, watching her make her debut as "leading lady" at a West End theatre, and a few days later of observing her photograph exhibited in shop windows among those of other stage beauties.
But, alas! those halcyon days were all too brief. Suddenly the scales fell from my eyes. A scene occurred between us--and we parted.
To think that sin should lie for years in the blood, just as a.r.s.enic does in a corpse!
When I discovered that d.i.c.k Carruthers was wasting the very honest and ardent emotions of his heart at this feverish fairy's shrine, I resolved to take him aside, and, without admitting that I knew her, give him a verbal drubbing. I did so, but he bit his moustache fiercely, and turned upon me.
"She is charming," he said, "and I love her."
"Ah! I know the type--"
"You know nothing, old fellow!" he exclaimed, flus.h.i.+ng angrily. "But"-- he shrugged his shoulders--"the prejudices of the world count for--what?
Nothing at all. The curse of the Philistine is his Philistinism."
"Very well, d.i.c.k, old chap, forget my words," I said. "I approach your idol in the properly reverential spirit."
"You shall see her before long." His gaze grew bright, soft, and vague, as one who catches glimpses of the floating garments of supernatural mysteries. "Ah, she is lovely! Only an artist can appreciate her beauty."
I saw that words were of no avail. Like Ulysses, he was living in the paradise of Aeaea, heedless of everything under the spell she had cast about him.
One night, not long after I had expressed my sentiments to him regarding his infatuation, I entered his studio, and found his G.o.ddess seated by the fire, with her shapely feet upon the fender, sipping k.u.mmel from a tiny gla.s.s, and holding a lighted cigarette between her dainty fingers.
d.i.c.k flung down his palette, and came forward to introduce me. Her dark eyes met mine, and we tacitly agreed not to recognise each other, therefore we bowed as perfect strangers. As I seated myself, and she poured me out a liqueur, I caught her glancing furtively at me under her long lashes. She had grown even handsomer than when last I had seen her, and was the picture of the romantic _Bohemienne_. Her dress was of black gauze, through which the milky whiteness of her figure seemed to s.h.i.+ne. Yet, as she turned her beautiful face towards me, I was struck by the complete effect of physical and moral frailty that she presented.
She expressed pleasure at meeting me, remarking that she had read my last novel, and had been keenly interested in it.
When I had briefly acknowledged the compliment she paid me, she said--
"One thing always strikes me in reading your stories. Your women are inevitably false and fickle. Perhaps, however, you write from personal experience of the failings of my s.e.x," she laughed.
Glancing sharply at her, I saw that her eyes did not waver.
"It is true I once knew a woman who proved false and infamous," I replied, with some emphasis.
"And you avenge yourself by reviling all of us. It is really too bad!"
she said, pouting like a spoiled child.
"By Jove, old fellow," d.i.c.k chimed in, "do tell us about your romance!
It would be interesting to know the reason you set your face against all the fair ones."
But I succeeded in turning the conversation into another channel. I saw I had intruded upon them, so, making an excuse, I bade them _au revoir_, and returned to my own book-lined den.
Unlocking a drawer in my writing-table, I took out a packet of letters that still emitted a stale odour of violets. Then I lit my pipe, and one by one read them through, pausing and pondering over the declarations of pa.s.sionate love they contained. Far into the night I sat reviewing the romance of bygone days, until I came to the last letter. It was a cold, formal note, merely a few lines of hurried scrawl, and read: "You are right. I have been false to you. Think no more of me. By the time you receive this I shall be on my way to New York; nevertheless, you will be always remembered by yours unworthily-- Ethel." Bitter memories of the past overwhelmed me; but at last, growing impatient, and tossing the letters back into the drawer, I strove to forget. The clock had struck two, and my reading-lamp was burning low and sputtering when I rose to retire for the night. I confess that my frame of mind surprised me, inasmuch as I actually found myself still loving her.
"Good afternoon. I hope I don't disturb you."
Looking up from my work, I saw Ethel.
"Not at all. Pray sit down," I said coldly, motioning her to an armchair. "To what do I owe the honour of this visit?"
She pulled off her long gloves, and let her sealskin cape fall at her feet, while I put down my pen, and, rising, stood with my back to the fire.
With her she had brought the odour of violets, the same that I remembered years ago; the same perfume that always stirred sad memories within me.
"You don't welcome me very warmly," she said in a disappointed tone, as she grasped my hand, and looked steadily into my eyes.
"No," I said sternly. "Last night I told you that a woman had embittered my life. The woman I referred to was yourself."
"Ah," she said, striving to suppress a sob, "Forgive me! I--I was mad then. I loved you; but I did not apprehend the consequence."
"Love? What nonsense to speak of it, when through your baseness I have been almost ruined. Think of your actions on the day before you left me; how you took from that drawer a signed blank cheque, with which you drew six hundred pounds,--nearly all the money I possessed,--and then fled with your lover. Is that the way a woman shows her affection?"
Her head was bowed in humiliation.
"Forgive me, Harold," she said, with intense earnestness. "I admit that I wronged you cruelly, that I discarded the honest love you gave me; but you--you do not know how weak we women are when temptation is in our path. Cannot I now make amends?"
I shook my head sadly.
"Don't say that you will not forgive," she implored tearfully. "At least I am honest. My object in coming this afternoon was to repay the money I--I borrowed." And she drew forth an envelope from her pocket and handed it to me.
"There are notes for six hundred pounds," she added, as I took it and felt the crisp paper inside.
"How did you obtain it?" I asked, hesitating to receive it.
"I have earned it honestly, every penny," she replied. "Since we parted, I have become popular in America, and played `lead' in nearly all the great cities. During the years that have gone I have many, many times wondered what had become of you, for in your writings I read plainly how soured and embittered you had become."
"And where is Oranmore?"
"Dead. He contracted typhoid while we were playing in San Francisco, and it terminated fatally."
"Ethel," I said gravely, taking her hand in mine, "you have fascinated d.i.c.k Carruthers, my friend; and you will treat him as you treated me."
"No, no. I love him," she said in a fierce half-whisper, adding, "Keep secret the fact that we loved one another, and I swear before Heaven I will be true to him. If he marries me, he shall never have cause for regret--never!"
"Suppose I told him? What would he think of you?"
"You will not!" she cried, clinging to me. "You are too honourable for that. Promise to keep my secret!"
"For the present I will preserve silence," I answered, my heart softening towards her. "But I cannot promise that I will never tell him."
"I am going to sit to him as model," she said, after a brief silence.
"What character do you think would best suit me?"
"Well, I should suggest that of Circe--the woman who broke men's hearts," I replied, mischievously.