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"Have a nice day."
That was it? I swallowed. The secretary dismissed me with a slurp of her diet c.o.ke.
Was it really that easy? All of Professor Sweeten's threats, the humiliation at the academy, the sleepless nights-and all I had to do was hand in a letter?
I could have emailed my failure to the school.
What the h.e.l.l was I doing standing before a complete stranger pretending not to fall to pieces? These people wouldn't help. They'd sweep me into the same garbage bin as the other shattered students who fell apart before making it into the real world.
Thank G.o.d Momma wasn't here to see this. Or Dad. He was the one who paid for it.
I returned to Zach. He tossed me the helmet.
"It was quick," I said.
He shuddered. "Words a guy never wants to hear."
I forced a smile. "I'm not very hungry."
"But I know the best burger joint."
"Zach-"
"Hop on. They make a chocolate milkshake that's more tempting than you."
Ice-cream did sound good. For a girl without a future and a severe allergy to cats, about the only thing I could collect in the future would be pints of gourmet ice-creams.
h.e.l.l, if I really wanted to become an eccentric hermit, I'd invest in some prime ice-cream makers with all my untouched money...
The idea struck me with the same severity as an ice-cream headache. I hopped on the bike and patted for Zach to ride.
"d.a.m.n. Someone likes her desserts. You should have told me. I can do wicked things with whipped cream-"
"Drive, Zach."
"Yes, ma'am."
True to his word, Zach delivered us to a gluttonous heart-attack waiting to happen-a Mom and Pop diner with food served in a puddle of grease. The milkshake crowned with a heaping layer of whipped cream bigger than my head. It was a good choice.
I nibbled on my fries, scrunching my nose as Zach dipped his into my chocolate shake. He didn't let me argue.
"Just try it."
I rolled my eyes and buried the fry into the mess. Sweet, salty, and perfect.
"You gotta stop fighting me," Zach winked. "No, you can't live here. No, I don't want to talk to you. No, don't put it in there, that'll hurt."
"Very funny."
"You okay?" He asked.
I shrugged, happy for the milkshake to distract me. "I think so."
"No shame in ordering a second of those."
Oddly enough, I didn't need chocolate to survive this crisis. I teased the cherry through the whipped cream and shrugged.
"What if..." I didn't know how to phrase it or if it was even a viable idea. "You know how everyone tells me to forget college? That I should just buy my own school and screw those who held me back?"
Zach gobbled half of his burger down. He nodded.
"Why don't I buy a school?"
"Mrphschool?" He swallowed. "A school?"
"Or...a charity. I was thinking...I don't have to be a teacher to do what I wanted. In fact, I'd be limited if I taught, stuck with a set curriculum and working inside the administration. But, if I had like...an after-school program? Or a school with summer events? Tutoring and games and all that?"
Zach put the burger down. He smiled. His dimples were every bit the affirmation I needed.
"I think it's a good idea."
"Really?"
"Sure. With our money? h.e.l.l, a chicken in every pot and a tutor for every kid."
My heart lumped but forgot to b.u.mp. "Our money?"
"Yeah. It's a good cause. Toss my share in there too. I'll pull a salary again once I re-enlist."
"You'd...do that for me?"
"Shay, I told you before. I'm not in this for the money. I wanted a place to crash and a gym to train in so I could pa.s.s my physical." He sipped his c.o.ke. "And I wanted a chance to get closer to you."
I looked down. The milkshake refroze in my stomach. This wasn't a conversation to have over a burger and fries in a tiny diner.
"How close did you want to get?" I asked.
He waved a pickle at me after watching how I inhaled mine. He let me take a bite of his.
"Are you asking if I got my quick f.u.c.k and will be on my way?" He said.
In every sense of the word. "Of course not."
"I'll have you know, I'm not anywhere close enough to you yet."
There wasn't really any place left on me to get close to. All my places were thoroughly discovered. Sometimes twice. Sometimes three times while accompanied with fierce denial in the morning. What else did he want?
And then I knew.
"Look, Zach-"
"Don't give me the step-brother line again. It doesn't weird me out. It shouldn't make a difference to you."
"Okay, bro," I sighed. "Let's ignore the family tree for a second. You said it yourself. You're re-enlisting."
"So?"
"Will a Navy SEAL make it home for dinner at night?"
He quieted. "No. But there's leave every once in a while."
"I'm not looking for every once in a while. You have your life, what you've planned to do, what you're built for." I regretted the words as they only encouraged him to flex. "You want to be a SEAL. I understand that. But I can't get wrapped up in this only to have you leave. Zach...I don't want to be alone anymore."
"You wouldn't be."
"We have our own goals, okay? We need to focus on those. We had some fun together. More than we should have. But I can't let myself fall-"
s.h.i.+t. I almost said it. And no big industrial truck rumbling by or hooting laugh of another diner m.u.f.fled the mistake. Zach stared at me.
"Shay?" He clenched his fist around his drink. "Only two things could keep me out of the SEALs now. One would be a douche-bag doctor failing my physical. The other-"
My heart pounded. "-Don't."
"I never had a reason to settle down."
"Zach."
"You've always been alone."
"Stop."
"I literally had my life flash before my eyes, and I had nothing to show for it except a dozen cla.s.sified missions and an empty apartment. Almost dying gives a man perspective. Maybe there's more for me."
"I can't do this."
"Shay, why fight it?"
"Because..." My lip trembled. I didn't want to fight it anymore. I didn't want to do anything but rest in his arms, giggle at his crude humor, and lick every last drop of the milkshake from his chest. "I..."
A shadow crossed over the table. A middle-aged moment-killer winked at Zach and set the check by his hand.
"Thanks, folks, come back now." She didn't mean it.
I stood, shouldering the bag. "We should go. Thanks for lunch."
Zach crinkled the bill as he stood. He wagged a finger at me, but his smile returned, bigger than ever.
"We're not done yet," he said. "You and I got a lot to discuss."
"We really don't."
"Yes, we do." He loomed over me, brus.h.i.+ng my chin with the b.u.mp of his fingers. I swallowed, trapped in the size, the scent, and the power of him. "From this moment on, baby, you are mine. And I'm going to spoil you, pamper you, and f.u.c.k the h.e.l.l out of you until you finally admit it. That I promise."
He parted from me to pay the tab. I rushed outside to gulp as much air as possible. The humid, smoggy afternoon didn't help, but I was at least free of him.
Until I saw the bike.
A half hour trip back home, clutching on a man more dangerous to me than the open road and his crazy driving.
Zach wanted me to admit what I felt.
Keeping that hidden would be more than a challenge.
It'd be Hard.
Chapter Seventeen - Zach.
I left Shay at home and told her I'd return from Was.h.i.+ngton D.C. with good news.
Good news for one of us at least.
I made it to my scheduled physical twenty minutes early, but the doctor's office didn't operate on naval time.
I sat in the cramped waiting room for thirty minutes before a pretty nurse took my vitals. I stripped down and waited another fifteen for the doctor. Not that I didn't enjoy a good sixty degree office shriveling my b.a.l.l.s, but today wasn't the day I wanted to get f.u.c.ked around.
I needed to pa.s.s this physical.
Everything in my G.o.dd.a.m.ned life depended on convincing the doctor I was fit to serve.
I had a lifetime of preparation, training, and sacrifice that punished my body beyond the breaking point, and this was how my f.u.c.king future would be determined. Not at a promotional ceremony getting commended for valor in combat. Not in the field taking out low-life, sc.u.m-of-the-earth murderers who targeted innocent people.
Here.
My worth was judged in a s.h.i.+tty doctor's office with faded wallpaper and a sink that perpetually dripped. My bare a.s.s hung out of my gown, and my feet covered in nurse issued booties. To make it worse, they piped in some hackneyed Barbara Streisand and left me to freeze.
My only good luck was a kiss from Shay who seemed more relieved to be rid of me than to actually touch me.
Maybe.
h.e.l.l if I understood that woman, but I'd love to try.
I flipped my phone. I texted her when I landed. Not because she asked me to, but because I thought it'd be like, nice? Something I was supposed to do? Shay answered immediately with: Ok! : ) Nothing else since.