The Definite Object Part 90

"It ain't eatin' time yet."

"But--Gee! ain't I a invalid?"

"Sure! Consequently you must be fed slow an' cautious."

"Oh, fudge! What's th' good of a guy bein' a invalid if a guy can't feed when he wants to?"

"What's a hundred an' ninety-one from twenty-three?" enquired Mrs.

Trapes.

"Skidoo!" murmured Spike sulkily. But after Mrs. Trapes had subtracted and added busily he spoke again.

"You ain't such a bad old gink--sometimes," he conceded.

"Gink?" said Mrs. Trapes, glaring.

"I mean you can be a real daisy when you want to."

"Can I?"

"Sure! Sometimes you can be so kind an' nice I like you a whole lot!"

"Is that so?"

"You bet it is--honest Injun."

"Arthur, if it's that pie you want--"

"It ain't!"

"Well, what is it?"

"How d' ye know I want anything?"

"Oh, I just guess, maybe."

"Well, say--if you could cop me one o' Geoff's cigarettes--one o' them with gold letterin' onto 'em--"

"You mean--thieve you one!"

"Why, no, a cigarette ain't thievin'. Say, now, dear old Trapesy, I'm jest dyin' for a gasper!"

"Well, you go on dyin', an' I'll set right here an' watch how you do it."

"If I was t' die you'd be sorry for this, I reckon."

"Anyway, I'd plant some flowers on you, my lad, an' keep your lonely grave nice--"

"Huh!" sniffed Spike, "a lot o' good that 'ud do me when I was busy pus.h.i.+n' up th' daisies. It's what I want now that matters."

"An' what you want now, Arthur, is a rod of iron--good 'n' heavy.

Discipline's your cryin' need, an' you're sure goin' t' get it."

"Oh? Where?"

"At college! My land, think of you at Yale or Harvard or C'lumbia--"

"Sure you can think; thinkin' can't cut no ice."

"Anyway, you're goin' soon as you're fit; Mr. Geoffrey says so."

"Oh, Geoff's batty--he's talkin' in his sleep. I ain't goin' t' no college--Geoff's got sappy in th' bean--"

"Well, you tell him so."

"Sure thing--you watch me!"

"No, I'll get you somethin' t' eat--some milk an'--"

"Say, what about that punkin pie?"

"You sit right there an' wait."

"Chin-Chin!" nodded Spike, and watched her into the house.

No sooner was he alone than he was out of his chair and, descending the steps into the garden, sped gleefully away across lawns and along winding paths, following a haphazard course. But, as he wandered thus, he came to the stables and so to a large building beyond, where were many automobiles of various patterns and make; and here, very busy with brushes, sponge, and water, was.h.i.+ng a certain car and making a prodigious splas.h.i.+ng, was a figure there was no mistaking, and one whom Spike hailed in joyous surprise.

"Well, well, if it ain't th' old Spider! Gee, but I'm glad t' see you!

Say, old sport, I'm a invalid--pipe my bandages, will ye?"

"Huh!" grunted the Spider, without glancing up from the wheel he was was.h.i.+ng.

"Say, old lad," continued Spike, "I guess they told you how I put it all over Bud, eh?"

"Mph!" said the Spider, slopping the water about.

"Heard how I saved old Geoff from gettin' snuffed out, didn't yer?"

"Huh-umph!" growled the Spider.

"That's sure some car, eh? Gee, but it's good t' see you again, anyway.

How'd you come here, Spider?"

"U-huh!" said the Spider.

"Say," exclaimed Spike, "quit makin' them noises an' say somethin', can't yer? If you can't talk t' a pal, I'm goin'."

"Right-o, Kid!" said the Spider; "only see as you don't go sheddin' no more b.u.t.tons around."