Simply Magic Part 13

aThe d.u.c.h.ess has persuaded Mrs. Thompson to take up residence in a cottage close to Lindsey Hall,a Claudia said. aMiss Thompson is expected to move there with her, of course, but she says she feels she will be losing some independence when she leaves their own cottage and village behind. She will feel like a poor relation of the Duke of Bewcastle, she says. I can well understand that that would be a ghastly fate indeed. But it is interesting, Susanna, that she may prefer to teach here. I have asked her to drop by tomorrow or the next day. I really took to her. She has interesting conversation and has read widely. She also has good sense and a dry wit.a aHas she taught before?a Susanna asked, looking back as she proceeded up the stairs on the way to her room.

But Claudia was prevented from replying by Mr. Keeble, who was clearing his throat in such a p.r.o.nounced manner that it was obvious he had something of import to say to them.

Agnes Ryde, one of the new charity girls, had had an almighty tantrum, it seemed, and reduced Lila Walton to tears and consequently aroused the wrath of Matron, who had sent the girl to bed in the middle of the afternoon and promised dire consequences as soon as Miss Martin returned.

Claudia sighed.

aThank you, Mr. Keeble,a she said. aThis is returning to reality with a crash, is it not? Where is Anne when I most need her? She did have a special gift with difficult girls.a aShe did,a Susanna agreed as she removed her bonnet. aBut I have an understanding of what it feels like to be a charity girl here, Claudia. I have seen something of my old self in poor Agnes, I must confess. Let me go up and talk to her.a aPoor Agnes indeed!a Claudia said, tossing her glance at the ceiling. aBut go if you wish, Susanna. Matron does seem to have tied my hands. If I go up, I shall be obliged to do something horribly dire like confining the girl to her bed and to dry bread and water for at least the next week.a Susanna chuckled at the unlikely image, squared her shoulders, and continued on her way upstairs, prepared to do battle. Lila, as junior teacher, had the unenviable task, once Susannaas own, of teaching elocution to those girls who needed it. And Agnes Ryde needed it more than anyone else. She had arrived at the school at the end of August with such a thick c.o.c.kney accent that no one understood a good half of what she said. And since she was resistant to changing her accent in order to talk as if she had two plums in her cheeks like a real n.o.ba"her wordsa"Lila was not exactly her favorite teacher.

Susanna did not find the minor crisis at the school unwelcome. It pushed everything else from her mind for the next hour, while she sat in one of the dormitories beside Agnesas bed, at first talking to an uncommunicative ball of hostile girlhood turned toward the wall and then gradually moving into something resembling a conversation after Agnes had rolled over to face her and eye her with open suspicion.

aYou was a charity girl, miss?a she asked.

aI was indeed,a Susanna said, wisely ignoring the girlas grammar. aSo was Miss Walton, as she would be very ready to admit. We have both been where you are now. It is not the most comfortable place to be, is it? I can remember believing at one point that I must have been brought here only so that everyone else could laugh at me.a aEverybody does laugh at me,a Agnes said fiercely. aNext time Iall pop aem a good one, I willamiss.a aEverybody?a Susanna raised her eyebrows. aAre you quite sure it is everybody? It is not just two or three girls who do not know any better than to want to bring misery upon a fellow pupil? I remember Miss Martin once giving me a piece of advice. The next time one of the paying pupils taunted me by telling me it must be nice to have my fees paid for me by strangers, I should smile back as if I had not noticed the sarcasm and agree warmly that yes, it was very nice indeed. Where would they take the taunting from there? she asked me. And she was perfectly right. It worked like a charm. Much better than hitting out would have done. That was what they expected me to do. That was what they hoped I would do so that they could run crying to one of the teachers and get me into trouble.a By the time she went back downstairs Susanna was feeling exhausted but satisfied that yet another problem had been sorted out. But then she had to a.s.sure a tearful Lila Walton in Claudiaas private sitting room that of course she was not a failure, that teaching was always three parts instruction and one part dealing with the various crises that inevitably arose when so many diverse humans lived in close proximity to one another. And of course a teacher could not always be popular.

aIt is just what I have been telling her,a Claudia said. aNow, we will have a cup of tea together and you can have an early night, Lila. And I will take your study hall for you tomorrow evening so that you may have some relaxation time. I daresay I ought to have brought Cecile Pierre in to give you a hand today even though I had declared it a holiday from cla.s.ses, since Susanna and I were both going to the reception and Mr. Huckerby and Mr. Upton were to attend too. Call it learning to swim by being tossed into the deep part of a lake, if you will. You did remarkably well aside from the unfortunate incident with Agnes. The school is still standing, is it not? It is not burned down to the ground or reduced to rubble by cannon shot. All the girls are still living and breathinga"at least, I have not heard anything to the contrary.a Lila laughed and took a cup of tea from Claudia. Fifteen minutes later she was on the way up to her own room, clearly relieved that the day was finally over.

aAcademically Lila does very well indeed,a Claudia said after she had left. aIn other areas she is still fragile. She may discover that teaching really does not suit her at all, though I still have hopes that she will settle. I have high hopes that Miss Thompson will come here. She is older and more mature. Did you like her, Susanna?a aYes,a Susanna said, getting to her feet to pour them each another cup of tea. aThough I did not talk a great deal with her. She has a twinkling eye, though. I always trust people with twinkling eyes.a Claudia laughed.

aHer sense of humor will be put to the test if she comes here,a she said, athough it would be a decided a.s.set. Would it be possible to teach successfully if one did not have a healthy sense of the ridiculous? I very much doubt it.a They sipped their tea and lapsed into silencea"and Susannaas thoughts inevitably drifted to the afternoon and to Viscount Whitleaf and the waltz they had danced together. And to the cheerful way in which they had taken their leave of each other afterward. She had refused to feel tragic at the time, and she refused to feel it now.

It had after all been good to see him again and to know that it was concern for hera"and his possible responsibility toward hera"that had brought him.

But now there was an inevitable ache of emptiness inside that was very difficult to ignore.

aI am very sensitive to undercurrents,a Claudia said. aIt is another a.s.set for a teacher, I firmly believe. I can sometimes sense things that are brewing long before they bubble to the surface and cause trouble or even disaster.a Susanna sipped her tea. She did not know quite where this observation was leading.

aYou met Viscount Whitleaf when you were staying at Barclay Court this summer,a Claudia said.

aYes,a Susanna said warily. aHe was staying at Hareford House. The younger Mr. Raycroft is his friend. You have met him and his family, I believe.a Claudia nodded. She had spent a few days at Barclay Court earlier in the year, before Frances left for Europe.

aMy first impression of the viscount,a Claudia said, awas that he was conceiteda"as well as wondrously handsome, of course. Both the Earl of Edgecombe and Miss Thompson a.s.sured me that I was mistaken. Neither you nor Frances expressed any opinion, however. And then you proceeded to eat half a cuc.u.mber sandwich and perhaps a third of a currant cake and maintain an uncharacteristic near-silence throughout tea. And Frances did not do much better. She was watching you almost the whole time, a look of troubled concern in her eyes. Indeed, I am not even sure it was undercurrents I felt. It was something altogether more overt than that.a It would be pointless, Susanna decided, to pretend she did not know what Claudia was talking about. They had known each other a long time. They had been friends for a number of years since she grew up. They had been even closer since Anne left.

aIt is not quite what you think,a she said.

aAnd what is it that I think?a Claudia asked, her look keen.

aViscount Whitleaf and I became friends,a Susanna explained. aI had no illusions that we were more than that, and absolutely no wish that we be more. He is amiable, Claudia, and very kinda"he showed his kindness in all sorts of ways. It was sad to have to say good-bye to him at the end of the holiday. Frances feared I had fallen in love with him. Perhaps she still fears it. But she is wrong. It was lovely to see him again today and dance with him again, butaWell, but nothing. I will never see him again, and I am content that it be so. I will not lose any sleep over him.a She smileda"and sloshed her tea into her saucer. She set the cup down in haste until such time as her hands had stopped shaking.

Good heavens! Oh, gracious heavens. She would be weeping nexta"as she had the night after the a.s.sembly when Frances came to her room. How utterly mortifying.

aIs it not a shame,a Claudia said with a sigh after a short silence, athat we cannot just turn off our womanas need to love and nurture and be loved in return, or at least draw enough satisfaction from lavis.h.i.+ng those instincts upon our pupils and fellow teachers and women friends? One ought not to have to feel the need for a man and all he can offer by way of physical as well as emotional satisfaction when the chances of finding a suitable mate and making a satisfactory marriage are slim to none.a Susanna had never before heard Claudia talk about her need for a mana"her physical need. It was all too easy to a.s.sume that she did not feel such needs. She was over thirty years old. She had been an adult when Susanna first came to the school. And all that time she had been without a man.

aI was able to offer you the relative security of a teaching position when you grew up,a Claudia said. aI was not, alas, able to find you a husband despite your beauty and vitality and intelligence.a aOh, Claudia,a Susanna said, setting her cup and saucer down on the table beside her, ayou have done so very much for me. And I am not in love with Viscount Whitleafa"or anyone else.a Claudia sighed again.

aOf course you are not,a she said briskly. aCome, it is time we went to bed even though it is still not very late, is it? It has been a long and busy and emotional day, though, and I feel like a limp rag. And I have promised to take study hall tomorrow evening on top of everything else.a aI will be conducting a rehearsal for the Christmas play,a Susanna said, aor I would do it for you.a Life would go on, she told herself a few minutes later as she shut her bedroom door behind her. She had survived the end of August. She would survive today.

At least there would be much to occupy her mind tomorrow and in the coming days.

And at least there were pleasant memories of today to add to the ones from the summer. She was glad he had come to ask her if she was with child. He would not have abandoned her to her fate if she had been. She knew that as clearly as if he had said so.

He was still a man she could like and evena Well, yes, of course she still loved him too.

It would be foolish to deny it.

She would survive the admission. She had survived it in August, and she would survive it now. But she did wonder wistfully when an unfed love died. It did not last forever, surely? She fervently hoped not.

She looked forward to the day when she could bring out the memories and derive only a sort of nostalgic pleasure from them.

That day had not yet come.

Not by a long way.

Peter did not go with Lauren and Kit when they left for Alvesley Park the following morning even though both of them a.s.sured him that he would be very welcome and their children begged him to come. He was going to set out for London a little later in the day, he told thema"he had some business to attend to there. The business consisted of keeping his eye out for a new team of horses to buy, though, truth to tell, there was nothing wrong with his chestnuts. He also needed to visit his clubs, notably Whiteas, to discover who was still in town and who was new in town and what the latest news and gossip might bea"though those particular pursuits could hardly be described as business.

Really, of course, he had no pressing reason for going anywhere in the world, except home. But there was still a while before Christmas, and he had decided not to go before then.

His mother was going to transform his dining room into a lavender monstrositya"she had mentioned the color in her last lettera"as a complement to the drawing room. But she was going to leave it until after Christmas since they were expecting guestsa"she had used the plural p.r.o.noun. Christmas would be soon enough, then, to stop such a disaster from happening. A lavender dining room, for G.o.das sake!

Would she start on the library next?

She had invited the Flynn-Posys for Christmas, Lady Flynn-Posy being one of her dearest friends from their come-out year. Peter might recall the name, she had written. He did not. They were going to bring with them their son, a delightful young man who was up at Oxford, anda"inevitablya"their daughter, an accomplished young lady of considerable beauty, who was to make her official come-out in the spring.

Miss Flynn-Posy and her a.r.s.enal would have to be faced, he had decided. He would hide from his motheras loving interference in his life no longer.

He would not go home yet, though.

But what was he to do with himself in the meanwhile? He waved Lauren and Kit and the children on their way from the Royal York Hotel and then, ten minutes later, the Earl and Countess of Redfield and returned aimlessly to his room to stare gloomily at his bags, all neatly packed by his valet.

An hour after that he wandered downstairs and was in time to wave the Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of Bewcastle and Mrs. Thompson, the d.u.c.h.essas mother, on their way home. Miss Thompson was to remain in Bath for a few days, but not at the hotel, it seemed.

aMy mother thought it really not quite the thing even though I bade farewell to my twenties a few years ago,a she explained to Peter as they both looked toward the corner around which the carriage had just disappeared. aAnd Christine agreed with her. So did the duke, though he did not say a word. He did not have to. I have never known anyone whose silence is so eloquent. He is a formidable brother-in-law, Lord Whitleaf.a Her eyes twinkled with merriment.

aAnd so you are to stay with Lady Potford?a Peter asked.

aYes,a she said. aI must still be hedged about by chaperones, it seems. It is most provoking.a aMay I convey you and your baggage to her house?a Peter asked.

aOh, that is remarkably good of you,a she said, abut my bags have already gone. The duke arranged to have them sent over. He would have sent me with them, I daresay, if I had not told Christine quite firmly that I intend to walk.a aShe lives not far away?a he asked.

aOn Great Pulteney Street,a she said. aIt is a fair distance, but I shall enjoy stretching my legs, especially in this lovely suns.h.i.+ne. The house is quite close to Miss Martinas school on Daniel Street. I promised to call there today or tomorrow. Miss Martin needs a new teacher, and I am thinking of applying for the position.a aIndeed?a Peter said. aMay I escort you to Great Pulteney Street, maaam?a aAnd delay your own departure?a she said. aYou are too kind, Lord Whitleaf. I really do not need an escort or a chaperone on the streets of Bath.a aBut perhaps,a he said, bowing to her and grinning, aI would be delighted to postpone my departure until tomorrow, maaam, rather than forgo the pleasure of your company and Lady Potfordas. And I would like to see the school where Miss...o...b..urne teachesa"we struck up an acquaintance during the summer when we were staying with friends in the same neighborhood.a aAh, Miss...o...b..urne, yes,a she said, laughing. aI did not fail to notice how remarkably lovely she is. Very well, then, Lord Whitleaf. Since you feel such a burning desire for my company, I shall not deprive you of it. Shall we meet downstairs here in half an houras time?a aWe shall,a he said, bowing to her.

And so, instead of setting out for London within the hour, as he had intended, Peter found himself walking through Bath with Miss Thompson on his arm. They walked past the Pump Room and Bath Abbey and along by the river in the direction of the Pulteney Bridge. They crossed the bridge and made their way past Laura Place and along Great Pulteney Street until they came to Lady Potfordas. They conversed every step of the way, and Peter found himself genuinely enjoying her company and laughing with her over several absurdities she pointed out.

At the same time he wondered about the wisdom of what he was doinga"or rather, the wisdom of what he planned to do after calling at Lady Potfordas. Was he really going to accompany Miss Thompson to the school? For what purpose, pray? He had learned what he needed to know from Susanna yesterday. He had enjoyed a pleasant half hour dancing and talking with her, and they had said good-bye.

There was really nothing whatsoever left to say, was there?

But dash it all, he still liked her. He still wanted a friends.h.i.+p with her. And, if the bald truth were told, he probably felt a little more than just liking for her. Which uncomfortablea"and only barely admitteda"fact was all the more reason for bowing to Miss Thompson at the doorway of the house on Great Pulteney Street, returning to his hotel with alacrity, and putting as much distance between himself and Miss Martinas School for Girls in Bath as daylight and the speed of his traveling carriage would allow.

But when Lady Potfordas butler opened the door to their knock, he found himself stepping over the threshold.

And a little more than half an hour later, after taking coffee in the drawing room and making himself agreeable to Lady Potford, who was feeling rather down after having waved her houseguests on their way earlier, he found himself escorting Miss Thompson again on the short walk to the end of the street and around the corner onto Sydney Place and almost immediately around onto Sutton Street. The turn onto Daniel Street was not far away.

And so here he was, he thought as he stepped up to the school and rapped the knocker against the door, unable even to change his mind at the last moment and hurry away. Miss Thompson was standing solidly just behind him and would think it odd in the extreme if he suddenly bolted.

What the devil was she going to think? She being Susanna Osbourne, of course.

An elderly, pinch-faced porter opened the door and glared at Peter with unconcealed suspicion. His black coat, s.h.i.+ny with age, looked almost as elderly as he.

The dragon guarding the maidens, perhaps?

aMiss Thompson and Viscount Whitleaf to call upon Miss Martin,a he said.

The man looked beyond Peteras shoulder, and his demeanor grew marginally less hostile.

aMiss Martin is expecting you, maaam,a he said, ignoring Peter, athough she is in the middle of a cla.s.s at the moment.a aDo not disturb her, then,a Miss Thompson said. aI shall wait until she is free.a Ah, reprieve! Peter thought. He had the perfect excuse for bowing her over the threshold and going on his waya"I shall wait, she had said. Not we.

Instead, he stood back to allow her to precede him inside and then stepped in after her.

If ever he came fully to understand himself, he thought ruefully, the world would surely stop spinning on its axis and then they would all be in trouble.

He was standing in a dark, narrow hallway. Instantly he could hear the distant hum of girlsa voices chanting something in unison. He had stepped into the world of Susanna Osbourne, he realized, breathing in the mingled odors of furniture polish and ink and cabbage and an indefinable something that would have told him he was in a school even if he had not already known it.

16.

Susanna was in the dining hall eating luncheon. The seat beside her at the head tablea"the teachersa tablea"was empty. Claudia was probably eating in her office with Miss Thompson, who had apparently arrived to look over the school with a view to teaching here.

It would be good to have another resident teacher, Susanna thought, and one whom Claudia had instinctively liked at their first meeting.

Where was he now, she wondered, as she had wondered at frequent intervals all morning while she was teaching. How many miles from Bath? How many miles from wherever he was going?

She made an attempt to bring her attention back to the conversation of the other teachers.

But Mr. Keeble, whose boots were squeaking as they always seemed to have done ever since Susanna had known him as if he must have them specially made with just that quality, had entered the room and was making his way toward the head table. Susanna looked inquiringly at him.

aMiss Martin wishes to see you in her office as soon as you have finished eating, Miss...o...b..urne,a he said.

The dessert had not yet been served. But she did not need dessert. She did not seem to have much appet.i.te today. She excused herself, got to her feet, and made her way to the office. Was Miss Thompson still here? she wondered.

Miss Thompson was. Soa"inexplicablya"was Viscount Whitleaf. He was getting to his feet as Susanna opened the door, and he bowed to her as she stepped inside.

She felt suddenly robbed of breatha"just as she had been yesterday when the sight of him in the Upper a.s.sembly Rooms had been equally unexpected. But at least then she had had a few minutes in which to recover herself without having to feel that everyoneas eyes were upon her. Today all three occupants of the room were looking at her.

aMiss Thompson?a She smiled. aViscount Whitleaf?a What on earth was he doing here? He was supposed to be miles away.

aMiss...o...b..urne,a Miss Thompson said, her eyes twinkling. aI might have guessed that a plain gray work dress would only make your hair appear even more vibrantly auburn. If I were ten years younger I would be mortally jealous of you.a aMiss Thompson will be staying for the afternoon,a Claudia said. aViscount Whitleaf is about to take his leave, but he wishes to call in on Lady Potford with a message. She has sent an invitation for me to join her and Miss Thompson at a concert in Bath Abbey tomorrow evening. I will be unable to attend, having promised to give three of the senior girls extra coaching for their history examination next week. However, Miss Thompson has suggested that perhaps you would like to go instead of me, Susanna.a aI should be delighted if you will agree, Miss...o...b..urne,a Miss Thompson a.s.sured her. aAnd I am sure Lady Potford will be too.a It was hard for Susanna to think straight with Viscount Whitleaf standing silently not six feet away. But the chance to attend an evening concert was certainly enticing. She very rarely attended any entertainment that was not directly related to the school. And the Abbey was such a beautiful church.

aYour drama practice is tonight,a Claudia said, aand there is no study hall tomorrow, it being Friday. I see nothing to stop you from going, Susanna, except inclination.a aOh, inclination would certainly take me there,a Susanna a.s.sured her.

aSplendid!a Miss Thompson exclaimed. aThen it is settled.a aI shall inform Lady Potford of the slight change in plans,a Viscount Whitleaf said. aAnd I shall take my leave, maaam.a He bowed to Claudia. aPerhaps Miss...o...b..urne would see me on my way?a On his way? He should be well on his way beyond Bath by now, shouldnat he?

aWhy are you still in Bath?a she asked him after they had stepped out into the hallway and he had closed the study door behind him. For once there was no sign of Mr. Keeble. aI thought all the wedding guests were leaving early this morning.a aI waved everyone else on the way,a he said, aand then discovered two things. First that Miss Thompson had no escort to Lady Potfordas on Great Pulteney Street or here to the school, and second that really I had nowhere of pressing importance to go myself.a aHave you been home to Sidley Park yet?a she asked.

It felt somehow surreal to see him here inside the school, which was such a very feminine domain. He was wearing a long, multi-caped greatcoat, which somehow made him seem larger and more broad-shouldered and more masculine than ever. Susanna felt half suffocated by his presence.

aSince August?a he said. aOh, yes, indeed. I went after my motheras houseguests had left. But the drawing room had turned pink and lacy in my absencea"it is horribly hideous. And the dining room is to turn lavender after Christmas, which I am expected to spend at Sidley in company with a certain Miss Flynn-Posy and her mama and papa among other people. I shall have to go if only to save my dining room from such a ghastly fate.a He looked so comically forlorn that she could not stop her lips from twitching with amus.e.m.e.nt.

aI daresay you are too kind to speak your objections openly to your mother,a she said.

aNot at all,a he said.

aYou were actually playing with all the children in the ballroom yesterday when I arrived, were you not?a she said. aI overheard Miss Thompson telling Claudia so after our waltz.a aI was early, you see,a he said, aand playing with them seemed as good a way as any of pa.s.sing the time, especially when they had more or less kidnapped me.a aBut no other adult thought to play with them,a she said, aand apparently it did not occur to them to kidnap any other adulta"only you, because you wished to amuse them and they recognized in you someone who would pay attention to them and make the afternoon fun for them. But you are not at all kind, of course.a He grinned a little sheepishly and she knew that now, within moments he was going to open the door and step outside and she was going to close it after him and be alone again.

aI will bring my carriage to fetch you tomorrow evening,a he said. aWill half past six suit you?a She stared at him, uncomprehending.

aI am staying for a couple of days longer,a he explained. aI have offered to escort Lady Potford and Miss Thompson to the concert.a aAnd maneuvered matters so that I would be invited too?a she asked, her eyes widening.

aNot at all,a he said. aThat was sheer good fortune. I was trying to devise a way of doing it, but it was done for me when Miss Martin said she could not go and Miss Thompson suggested you in her stead.a She stared at him, speechless.

aTell me you are glad.a His smile looked a little crooked to her, even perhaps a little wistfula"which was surely nonsense.

aI will be very glad to attend the concert,a she said. aBath Abbey is often used for organ recitals. I love nothing more than to listen to the great pipe organ being played though I have not heard it often. Perhaps there will be some organ pieces tomorrow.a aYou will be glad to attend the concert,a he said softly. aWell, I must be content with that. I shall come at half past six?a aThank you,a she said.

And then he did indeed open the door and step outside, and she did indeed close the door after him and find herself alone again. She closed her eyes briefly and drew a few steadying breaths. Not only was she to attend a concert at the Abbey tomorrow evening as a guest of Lady Potford, but she was also to have Viscount Whitleaf as an escort. It was almost too much to bear. The excitement of antic.i.p.ation might well kill her.

And she had cla.s.ses to teach this afternoona"in penmans.h.i.+p and writing. The first cla.s.s was to begin within the next five or ten minutes, in fact.

Susanna turned away from the door and tried to pretend that this was no different from any other afternoon at school.

This was the d.a.m.nedest thing, Peter thought as he rapped on the door of Miss Martinas school again the following evening. He liked music. He often attended concerts and even the opera in London, depending upon which artists were to sing. But a concert in Bath Abbey? He had actually postponed his departure from Bath just because of ita"when he had still thought the ladies he was to escort there were to be Lady Potford, Miss Thompson, and Miss Martin?

It really was just good fortune that had replaced the last-named lady with Susanna Osbourne. His mind had been working furiously over various schemes for including her in the party, but he had known perfectly well that it was unlikely that both resident teachers would leave the school together for a whole eveninga"especially so soon after the wedding breakfast.

It really was the d.a.m.nedest thing, then, but here he was anyway. And there she wasa"he saw her as soon as the school porter, looking more sour-faced than ever, opened the door to admit him. She was wearing a plain gray cloaka"but Miss Thompson had been quite right yesterday about the effect of such a drab color on her hair. Miss Martin, who was with her, was handing her a paisley shawl, which she would doubtless need inside the Abbey. Churches were notoriously chilly places.

There she wasa"the phrase repeated itself inside his mind as if there were an echo in there.

aGood evening, Miss Martin, Miss...o...b..urne.a He bowed to them.

She looked wide-eyed and slightly flushed in the light of a table lampa"Susanna, that wasa"and he realized with a pang of tenderness that this must be a grand occasion for her, just as the a.s.sembly in Somerset had been.

aI am ready,a she said, her voice slightly breathless.