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chef's knife in the other. Chuck and Brady, perched on stools nearby, seemed to be hanging out, keeping her company.
"Hey, boss," Chuck called out. "You miss us?"
"Sure do, Chuck."
"So come on back."
Sawyer moved toward Jori until only a counter stood between them. "Guys, can you give us a minute?"
Chuck glanced uncertainly at Jori, but Brady stood without hesitation, slightly tugging Chuck's sleeve as he pa.s.sed him.
Sawyer smiled at Brady, appreciating the display of trust.
"Don't leave Drake's," Sawyer said when they were alone.
The steady rasp of the knife blade against the steel faltered, but Jori's eyes stayed on her task. "It's too late. I've got another job lined up. Friday is my last day."
"Where?"
Setting down the knife, Jori gave a defeated sigh. "Does it matter, Sawyer?"
It's not here. Sawyer blinked, realizing she'd heard the unspoken words as clearly as if Jori had said them.
"Erica doesn't want to lose you."
Now Jori did look up, her expression incredulous. "That's why you're here? Well, I'm so sorry, Sawyer, but I'm not interested in soothing your stupid conscience."
"Erica asked me to come back, to manage Drake's with her."
Jori remained silent.
"But if it means the difference in you staying or going, I won't do it. You belong here."
The quietly spoken words pierced Jori's heart, but the blood that spilled into her chest was cold and constricting. She wanted them to be true. She wanted to belong at Drake's, more than she'd ever wanted to be anywhere. But she couldn't be here, around Sawyer's family, without a constant reminder of her. And it was even harder to think about being here with Sawyer, knowing * 228 *
that she had turned out to be another person in her life who had walked away from her.
"Tell me, Sawyer. Why did you leave?"
"Erica p.i.s.sed me off. Besides, she was coming back. I wasn't needed anymore."
"Cut the bulls.h.i.+t. You know what I mean." Jori drew a deep breath. "Why did you leave me?"
"I just needed to think."
"So I don't hear from you for two weeks?" Jori was mortifi ed to feel tears welling up. "G.o.d, I hate how pathetic you've made me sound," she muttered.
"You don't sound pathetic."
"Come on, I'm practically begging you to tell me why you didn't call. I don't think I could sound more needy." Jori had always clung to her independence, which was one of the few positives she could attribute to her childhood. She'd never needed anyone. In the few relations.h.i.+ps she'd had, she had honed her ability to exhibit just the right amount of reliance while still holding most of herself back.
"s.h.i.+t." Sawyer shoved both hands into her hair and blew out her breath on a heavy sigh. "I got scared."
"Of what?"
"I don't even know if you remember, I mean you were nearly asleep and maybe you didn't realize what you were saying, but I freaked out."
Jori spun away in frustration and leaned against the sink. "If any of that was supposed to clear things up-"
"You said you loved me."
Jori turned back and stared. The emotion was real, but she didn't remember saying the words. And Sawyer had just given her an out to deny it, if she wanted one. But the fl icker of fear and confusion in Sawyer's eyes made Jori want to make her face it, because seeing the weakness in Sawyer somehow made her feel better about her own. She could need Sawyer, even let Sawyer * 229 *
see that need, and not be so afraid that she would frighten her away.
"And you don't love me. You could have just said so-"
"No." Sawyer stepped around the counter and stopped when only inches separated them. "I mean, I was scared because I do."
"You do?"
"And I was-I am afraid of disappointing you. I know about your past, and I see how you've been hurt by it. And given my track record, I was afraid I would hurt you more. I want you to have everything, Jori. I know no one in your life has ever promised you forever."
Jori steeled herself against Sawyer's words, against Sawyer's understanding of her loneliness and inability to trust. "It doesn't matter-"
"So let me be the fi rst." Sawyer reverently traced the line of her jaw with one fi nger. "I love you, Jori Diamantina. I would do anything to make you happy. I want to be the person you turn to, the person you can rely on."
"How am I supposed to depend on you?"
"I know I haven't given you much reason to believe I can stick around. But if you give me a chance I'd like to change that."
Jori shook her head. "I ask again, why should I believe you?"
"Because I can't imagine being without you." Jori's expression remained neutral, but Sawyer thought she detected the tiniest tightening around Jori's mouth.
"When trouble starts, you want to run. I'm more of the stay-and-talk-it-out type."
Sawyer searched for the words to explain. "What's wrong with needing a little bit of s.p.a.ce to sort things out? Just because I don't want to sit around and a.n.a.lyze every detail until I can't breathe, let alone think."
* 230 *
Hurt fl ashed across Jori's face. "I don't like it when you leave."
Suddenly Sawyer realized how her absence must have made Jori feel. What, to her, had been time to clear her head had felt like abandonment to Jori.
"Okay." Slowly she nodded. Testing the waters, she took Jori's hand but was disappointed when Jori only let hers lie there pa.s.sively. "I'll try to stay and talk, if you'll try to understand when I need some time to process things."
"As long as some time doesn't mean two weeks."
She stroked Jori's cheek and was encouraged when Jori leaned into her palm. "I'm sorry. I've never been that good at relations.h.i.+ps, but I can do better. I've never wanted anyone so much." Sawyer paused before she added, "I've never needed anyone before."
"Really? You're not just using me for my desserts?" The hint of a smile deepened Jori's dimple.
In answer, Sawyer kissed her, and what began as a gentle persuasion fl ared into a heated fusion of mouths. Sawyer stroked her tongue along Jori's lips, eased back, then returned for another quick kiss. And when she smiled at Jori, she knew it was with the goofi est of grins. "Well, where else am I going to fi nd a woman who'll give me free rein with the chocolate sauce?"
"Mmm, the fi rst time I caught you watching me drizzle chocolate on a plate I knew you'd be easy." Jori tapped a fi nger against Sawyer's chin.
"You saw that, huh?"
"You were practically drooling." She slipped out of Sawyer's grasp and put away her knives. "Walk me to my car?"
"Yes." It seemed that Jori was keeping some distance between them, and Sawyer wanted to push. But she didn't, because she realized she'd been pus.h.i.+ng Jori in one way or another since they met. It was time to let Jori be in control.
"Let me grab my bag. I'll be right back."
* 231 *
Jori returned from the locker room minutes later with a brown leather messenger bag slung over her shoulder. They walked out side by side, their shoulders brus.h.i.+ng lightly as they stopped next to Jori's car. Jori stepped close and Sawyer wrapped her arms around her. When Jori rubbed the back of her fi ngers absently over Sawyer's bicep, Sawyer guessed she didn't even realize she was doing it, and though it was probably silly, Sawyer enjoyed the unconscious caress. She liked thinking that Jori might need to touch her.
"I'm parked around front." She kissed Jori, then eased back, prepared to put her in her car and send her home, even though she was currently conjuring up images of Jori naked beneath her.
As if reading her mind, Jori said against her lips, "Come home with me."
"I'll meet you there." She stepped back, opened Jori's door, and waited until she was settled before closing it. She stood there and watched Jori back out and drive up the street before she cut through the alley toward the front of the building and her car.
Jori awoke to a buzzing noise in her head. Sawyer stirred against her back and the arm around her waist tightened, then relaxed again. She smiled to herself, thinking how glad she was that Sawyer had come to her d.a.m.n senses. When she hadn't heard from Sawyer, Jori had been crushed, but her pride wouldn't let her call Sawyer.
Instead she'd tried to keep busy and ignore the aching fi ssure in her heart. She'd even fl irted with her gla.s.s-blowing instructor, but soon realized that was a dead end. She couldn't look at another woman without comparing her to Sawyer. Even work didn't make her happy. She'd never particularly thought Sawyer looked like her siblings, but she began to see Sawyer in Erica's features and realized that when Brady smiled, his eyes sparkled * 232 *
in much the same way as Sawyer's. Surrounded by reminders of Sawyer, she had seen no other solution than to leave Drake's.
When Sawyer had walked into the kitchen the night before, Jori had almost fl ung herself across the room and into Sawyer's arms. Only her sense of self-preservation, cultivated over many years, kept her standing on the other side of the counter.
Jori heard the buzzing again and Sawyer shoved lightly against her. "Answer your phone," Sawyer murmured against the middle of her back.
One of the two cell phones sitting on the nightstand vibrated against its surface. Jori picked it up and pa.s.sed it over her shoulder. "It's not mine."
"Oh." Sawyer rolled onto her back and Jori turned over to face her. Sawyer fl ipped the phone open. "h.e.l.lo. Hi, Mom, what time is it?"
Jori glanced at the clock and saw that it was barely past eight. And since she had an idea just how little sleep Sawyer had gotten the night before, she wasn't surprised when she growled at her mother's response.
"We really need to talk about the time of your phone calls."
She glanced at Jori. "My mother says h.e.l.lo."
"How did she know?" Jori whispered, feeling her face fl ush.
Sawyer covered the end of the phone. "Probably Brady. Yes, Mom, I'm listening to you-of course-you're right-"
Sawyer continued trying to get a word in with her mother, and Jori drew back the edge of the sheet covering Sawyer. When it slid over her bare b.r.e.a.s.t.s, Sawyer pulled it back into place, gave Jori a stern look, and whispered, "On the phone with my mother here."
Jori pressed her lips to Sawyer's other ear. "Better hang up.
We don't want her to hear me make you moan." She slid her hand between Sawyer's legs and squeezed.
"Ah, Jesus." Sawyer fl inched and grabbed Jori's wrist.
* 233 *
"Gotta go, Mom. I'll call you later." She barely waited to hear Tia's response before she closed the phone and tossed it over the edge of the bed. "I think my mother approves of you." She released Jori's wrist, rolled her onto her back, and slid on top of her, levering her upper body away to look at Jori.
"Enough talk about your mother." Jori wrapped her arms around Sawyer, her hands following the graceful lines of her back.
"My whole family approves," Sawyer said softly as she brushed a strand of hair off Jori's forehead. Sawyer's eyes were tender and deeply refl ective. "You've helped me fi nd my place among them again." The corner of Sawyer's mouth lifted. "I'd been a bit lost for a long while. But you calm things inside of me that I've never been able to put words to."
Sawyer slowly lowered her body to rest fully against Jori and turned her face to Jori's neck. She reached behind her, grasped Jori's hand, pulled it around, and held their joined hands between their bodies.
With her other hand, Jori cradled the back of Sawyer's head, then pressed her lips to Sawyer's forehead. "I love you," she whispered and felt Sawyer's murmured response against her own skin.
"You belong right here." Sawyer squeezed Jori's hand.
Jori smiled. Yes. This is home.
* 234 *
About the Author.
Born and raised in upstate New York, Erin Dutton now lives and works in middle Tennessee. But she makes as many treks back north as she can squeeze into a year because her beloved nephews and nieces grow faster every time she is away.
Recently, she has rediscovered inspiration in her surroundings and is constantly trying to fi nd new ways to capture those images.
In her free time she enjoys reading, movies, and playing golf.
Her previous novels include two romances, Sequestered Hearts and Fully Involved. She's currently working on a Matinee romance, Designed for Love, which will be published in November 2008. She is also a contributor to an erotica anthology, Erotic Interludes 5: Road Games, and an upcoming romance anthology, Romantic Interludes 1: Discovery from Bold Strokes Books.
Books Available From Bold Strokes Books Falling Star by Gill McKnight. Solley Rayner hopes a few weeks with her family will help heal her shattered dreams, but she hasn't counted on meeting a woman who stirs her heart. ( 978-1-60282-023-4) Lethal Affairs by Kim Baldwin and Xenia Alexiou. Elite operative Domino is no stranger to peril, but her investigation of journalist Hayley Ward will test more than her skills. (978-1-60282-022-7) A Place to Rest by Erin Dutton. Sawyer Drake doesn't know what she wants from life until she meets Jori Diamantina-only trouble is, Jori doesn't seem to share her desire. (978-1-60282-021-0) Warrior's Valor by Gun Brooke. Dwyn Izsontro and Emeron D'Artansis must put aside personal animosity, and unwelcomed attraction, to defeat an enemy of the Protector of the Realm. (978-1-60282-020-3) Finding Home by Georgia Beers. Take two polar-opposite women with an attraction for one another they're trying desperately to ignore, throw in a far-too-observant dog, and then sit back and enjoy the romance.
(978-1-60282-019-7).
Word of Honor by Radclyffe. All Secret Service Agent Cameron Roberts and First Daughter Blair Powell want is a small intimate wedding, but the paparazzi and a domestic terrorist have other plans.