Epicoene; Or, The Silent Woman Part 20

TRUE: Best follow him, Dauphine.

DAUP: So I will.

[EXIT.]

CLER: Where's Daw and La-Foole?

OTT: They are both run away, sir. Good gentlemen, help to pacify my princess, and speak to the great ladies for me. Now must I go lie with the bears this fortnight, and keep out of the way, till my peace be made, for this scandal she has taken. Did you not see my bull-head, gentlemen?

CLER: Is't not on, captain?

TRUE: No; but he may make a new one, by that is on.

OTT: O, here it is. An you come over, gentlemen, and ask for Tom Otter, we'll go down to Ratcliff, and have a course i'faith, for all these disasters. There is bona spes left.

TRUE: Away, captain, get off while you are well.

[EXIT OTTER.]

CLER: I am glad we are rid of him.

TRUE: You had never been, unless we had put his wife upon him.

His humour is as tedious at last, as it was ridiculous at first.

[EXEUNT.]

SCENE 4.2.

A LONG OPEN GALLERY IN THE SAME.

ENTER LADY HAUGHTY, MISTRESS OTTER, MAVIS, DAW, LAFOOLE, CENTAURE, AND EPICOENE.

HAU: We wonder'd why you shriek'd so, mistress Otter?

MRS. OTT: O lord, madam, he came down with a huge long naked weapon in both his hands, and look'd so dreadfully! sure he's beside himself.

HAU: Why, what made you there, mistress Otter?

MRS. OTT: Alas, mistress Mavis, I was chastising my subject, and thought nothing of him.

DAW: Faith, mistress, you must do so too: learn to chastise.

Mistress Otter corrects her husband so, he dares not speak but under correction.

LA-F: And with his hat off to her: 'twould do you good to see.

HAU: In sadness, 'tis good and mature counsel: practise it, Morose. I'll call you Morose still now, as I call Centaure and Mavis; we four will be all one.

CEN: And you will come to the college, and live with us?

HAU: Make him give milk and honey.

MAV: Look how you manage him at first, you shall have him ever after.

CEN: Let him allow you your coach, and four horses, your woman, your chamber-maid, your page, your gentleman-usher, your French cook, and four grooms.

HAU: And go with us to Bedlam, to the china-houses, and to the Exchange.

CEN: It will open the gate to your fame.

HAU: Here's Centaure has immortalised herself, with taming of her wild male.

MAV: Ay, she has done the miracle of the kingdom.

[ENTER CLERIMONT AND TRUEWIT.]

EPI: But, ladies, do you count it lawful to have such plurality of servants, and do them all graces?

HAU: Why not? why should women deny their favours to men? are they the poorer or the worse?

DAW: Is the Thames the less for the dyer's water, mistress?

LA-F: Or a torch for lighting many torches?

TRUE: Well said, La-Foole; what a new one he has got!

CEN: They are empty losses women fear in this kind.

HAU: Besides, ladies should be mindful of the approach of age, and let no time want his due use. The best of our days pa.s.s first.

MAV: We are rivers, that cannot be call'd back, madam: she that now excludes her lovers, may live to lie a forsaken beldame, in a frozen bed.

CEN: 'Tis true, Mavis: and who will wait on us to coach then?

or write, or tell us the news then, make anagrams of our names, and invite us to the c.o.c.kpit, and kiss our hands all the play-time, and draw their weapons for our honours?

HAU: Not one.

DAW: Nay, my mistress is not altogether unintelligent of these things; here be in presence have tasted of her favours.

CLER: What a neighing hobby-horse is this!

EPI: But not with intent to boast them again, servant. And have you those excellent receipts, madam, to keep yourselves from bearing of children?

HAU: O yes, Morose: how should we maintain our youth and beauty else? Many births of a woman make her old, as many crops make the earth barren.

[ENTER MOROSE AND DAUPHINE.]

MOR: O my cursed angel, that instructed me to this fate!

DAUP: Why, sir?