Epicoene; Or, The Silent Woman Part 9

DAUP: Nay, gentlemen, 'tis well now. Do you two entertain sir John Daw with discourse, while I send her away with instructions.

TRUE: I will be acquainted with her first, by your favour.

CLER: Master True-wit, lady, a friend of ours.

TRUE: I am sorry I have not known you sooner, lady, to celebrate this rare virtue of your silence.

[EXEUNT DAUP., EPI., AND CUTBEARD.]

CLER: Faith, an you had come sooner, you should have seen and heard her well celebrated in sir John Daw's madrigals.

TRUE [ADVANCES TO DAW.]: Jack Daw, G.o.d save you! when saw you La-Foole?

DAW: Not since last night, master Truewit.

TRUE: That's a miracle! I thought you two had been inseparable.

DAW: He is gone to invite his guests.

TRUE: 'Odso! 'tis true! What a false memory have I towards that man! I am one: I met him even now, upon that he calls his delicate fine black horse, rid into a foam, with posting from place to place, and person to person, to give them the cue--

CLER: Lest they should forget?

TRUE: Yes: There was never poor captain took more pains at a muster to shew men, than he, at this meal, to shew friends.

DAW: It is his quarter-feast, sir.

CLER: What! do you say so, sir John?

TRUE: Nay, Jack Daw will not be out, at the best friends he has, to the talent of his wit: Where's his mistress, to hear and applaud him? is she gone?

DAW: Is mistress Epicoene gone?

CLER: Gone afore, with sir Dauphine, I warrant, to the place.

TRUE: Gone afore! that were a manifest injury; a disgrace and a half: to refuse him at such a festival-time as this, being a bravery, and a wit too!

CLER: Tut, he'll swallow it like cream: he's better read in Jure civili, than to esteem any thing a disgrace, is offer'd him from a mistress.

DAW: Nay, let her e'en go; she shall sit alone, and be dumb in her chamber a week together, for John Daw, I warrant her. Does she refuse me?

CLER: No, sir, do not take it so to heart; she does not refuse you, but a little neglects you. Good faith, Truewit, you were to blame, to put it into his head, that she does refuse him.

TRUE: Sir, she does refuse him palpably, however you mince it. An I were as he, I would swear to speak ne'er a word to her to-day for't.

DAW: By this light, no more I will not.

TRUE: Nor to any body else, sir.

DAW: Nay, I will not say so, gentlemen.

CLER: It had been an excellent happy condition for the company, if you could have drawn him to it. [ASIDE.]

DAW: I'll be very melancholY, i'faith.

CLER: As a dog, if I were as you, sir John.

TRUE: Or a snail, or a hog-louse: I would roll myself up for this day, in troth, they should not unwind me.

DAW: By this pick-tooth, so I will.

CLER: 'Tis well done: He begins already to be angry with his teeth.

DAW: Will you go, gentlemen?

CLER: Nay, you must walk alone, if you be right melancholy, sir John.

TRUE: Yes, sir, we'll dog you, we'll follow you afar off.

[EXIT DAW.]

CLER: Was there ever such a two yards of knighthood measured out by time, to be sold to laughter?

TRUE: A mere talking mole, hang him! no mushroom was ever so fresh.

A fellow so utterly nothing, as he knows not what he would be.

CLER: Let's follow him: but first, let's go to Dauphine, he's hovering about the house to hear what news.

TRUE: Content.

[EXEUNT.]

SCENE 2.3.

A ROOM IN MOROSE'S HOUSE.

ENTER MOROSE AND MUTE, FOLLOWED BY CUTBEARD WITH EPICOENE.

MOR: Welcome Cutbeard! draw near with your fair charge: and in her ear softly entreat her to unmasthey.

[EPI. TAKES OFF HER MASK.]

--So! Is the door shut?

[MUTE MAKES A LEG.]

--Enough. Now, Cutbeard, with the same discipline I use to my family, I will question you. As I conceive, Cutbeard, this gentlewoman is she you have provided, and brought, in hope she will fit me in the place and person of a wife? Answer me not, but with your leg, unless it be otherwise: [CUT. MAKES A LEG.]

--Very well done, Cutbeard. I conceive, besides, Cutbeard, you have been pre-acquainted with her birth, education, and qualities, or else you would not prefer her to my acceptance, in the weighty consequence of marriage.

[CUT. MAKES A LEG.]

--This I conceive, Cutbeard. Answer me not but with your leg, unless it be otherwise.

[CUT. BOWS AGAIN.]

--Very well done, Cutbeard. Give aside now a little, and leave me to examine her condition, and apt.i.tude to my affection.