Great Tang Idyll Chapter 1

It was a midsummer afternoon. The people who had just eaten and briefly rested had once again resumed their day’s work. The birds as well as the dog and chickens within the courtyard had all either found good places to enjoy the warm sunlight or had sought shelter in the shade.

A group of boys splashed around in the stream by the entrance of Tuqiao1 Village’s Zhang Manor.[^2] After playing for a while or perhaps because the noise of their yells was too loud, a man walked out of the manor’s courtyard house door. Glaring at the gang of kids, he unhappily reprimanded them: “All of you scram further away! If my Little Mister2 is woken up, you’ll all be getting a beating!”

The kids immediately fell silent, carefully looking toward the open door in the corner of the courtyard house before they submerged into the water to make their way upstream bit by bit.

It was only after the man returned back into the courtyard house that all of the kids exhaled before puckering their faces up into various grimaces at the closed courtyard house door.

“Scared me to death! So hars.h.!.+ The old patriarch of the Zhang family isn’t like him at all.” A kid around 7 years old quietly said this as he used his hands to dig out yellow mud from the river bed.

“Isn’t it always like that? The people of the master-family3 are easygoing while the steward is stern. But no matter how stern the steward is, he still has to obey the master-family. I heard that the little master can drink porridge now. Let’s catch some toads to send over in a bit. Porridge made with the oil taken from the toad innards is good for the body. That’s how my mom4 eats after she had my little sister.” Another one of the kids who was slightly older and more considerate than the previous one stared at the occasional toads swimming by in the water while he spoke to the others.

The kids, knowing that ingratiating themselves to the master-family’s Little Mister at this time would get them an unexpected windfall, all nodded as well. One of the kids who had already caught a toad added: “Then let’s catch some more. The w.a.n.g Manor’s little girl is also at the Zhangs. Erzi,5 how good would it be if your little sister was with the Zhangs’ Little Mister now—your family would no longer need to worry about food and clothing.”

The one called Erzi was the considerate kid from before. Upon hearing those words, he slightly shook his head: “That’s simply impossible. The village only has these two manors. They’re the example of a perfect match.6 Besides, they were born well. It was originally an engagement as babies7 and they were even born on the same day with a difference of less than a minute.”

“That’s right. That’s right.” The kid who had first spoken was nodding beside him as he said: “Not only that, I heard that the two babies clung to each other and would cry if separated ever since they met on their full moon8 so that’s why they’re together in one place. Counting the days, it’s only a few days shy of their first full year.”

“Stop talking, stop talking. Let’s quickly catch some toads. As long as the master-family is pleased, they might reward us a few chicken eggs. My mom’s milk is low so they can be given to my little sister in a steamed cake.” Upon thinking of his little sister who was just 4 months old, Erzi didn’t wish to waste any more time and after a quick greeting, left to find a fork.

In one of the rooms within that courtyard house of the Zhang Manor, two babies currently lay side by side, lightly covered by a thin blanket, both of their small faces peaceful as their bellies evenly rose and fell. Seated on a small stool by the doorway of this room was a young maiden9 of around 13 or 14 years. After glancing over at the sleeping children, she then leaned against the door frame to nod off, going into a light doze after a short while.

After a while, the little boy lying on the right side slowly opened his eyes. At first, he froze before giving way to confusion. Raising his hands and moving his feet, a trace of panic suddenly appeared in his eyes. He then turned his head to look around him as he muttered: “Where is this? How did I turn into a child? Where’s the bandit? What about that w.a.n.g Juan?”

When his gaze fell upon the other child by his side, he discovered that it was a little girl. An idea he couldn’t ignore the possibility of arose in his mind then. But before he could make a further judgment, the little girl’s eyelashes twitched a bit. Still holding onto the idea he didn’t dare believe in his head, the boy shut his eyes once again as he feigned sleep.

At this time, the little girl also opened her eyes. Like him, she was uncertain as she surveyed her surroundings and like him, she muttered: “Where is this? How did I turn into a child? Where’s that swindler, Zhang Xiaobao? My mission hasn’t been completed yet.”

Upon hearing her muttered words, the previously even breathing of the little boy at her side suddenly stopped only to immediately resume. But it was that instant that caught the notice of the girl who had been staring at him the entire time.

Keeping her suspicions to herself, the little girl considered the position of the person sitting by the doorway before reaching out with a plump little hand to touch the little boy’s face and ask: “Zhang Xiaobao? Is that you?”

The little boy didn’t react, his breathing still as uniform as before. The little girl gritted her teeth before pinching the little boy’s nose. This time, the little boy woke up to turn his head to look at the little girl, blinking his eyes with more innocent purity than innocence itself.

“Zhang Xiaobao, hurry up and answer me.” The little girl spoke once again in a voice that slurred her words.

The little boy was still the same, blinking his eyes as he made several toneless ‘ah-ah’ sounds with his mouth just like any normal child of this age.

“Could it be that you’re not Zhang Xiaobao?” The little girl really didn’t know how to judge.

“Ha~! Ha~! Ah~! Ah~!” The little boy’s toneless voice sounded as he reached out a plump little hand to touch the little girl’s face.

The little girl stared into the little boy’s eyes to see if there was anything in there that shouldn’t appear. But she didn’t get even a little bit of a hint. Just when the little girl was about to give up, she suddenly thought of the Commissioner’s words: ‘He can jump straight down from a 15 meter height unharmed and can climb up 9 meter high walls bare-handed. He is also adept in criminal psychology, behavioral psychology, social psychology, and other related disciplines. He has been designated as an extremely dangerous criminal.’

“Let you pretend? I’ll pinch you to death!” The little girl also raised her hand to straight away pinch the little boy’s arm. With one pinch, the little boy immediately started crying with a ‘wah~wah!’ and before the little girl could react, the young maiden that was sitting by the doorway had already rushed over in a run.

Upon seeing someone arrive, the little girl pretended to be just as innocent as the little boy previously was, batting her eyes at the little boy who stared back at her with terror on his face as he kept crying.

“All right, all right. Baolang,10 don’t cry. There’s no urine, either. Baolang, don’t look at the w.a.n.gs’ Little Miss11 with that kind of look. This is your future wife. You’ve always been together since your full moon, how can you be scared like that?” The little boy finally stopped crying with the young maiden’s soothing voice.

Once the young maiden returned to her seat on her stool, the little boy fell back to sleep while the little girl stared at him with a face full of dismay. After thinking for a bit, she finally gritted her teeth and reached out again—this time, for the little boy’s lower body—as she whispered: “You know to call for help? Feel you have backup? Not afraid of a pinching? I’ll squeeze you till you’re sick!”

“Wah~! Wah~!” Without waiting for the little girl’s hand to touch him, the little boy started crying again and the little girl promptly retracted her hand. The young maiden came over once again but when she saw that there still was no problem, she returned to her seat.

“Let me see how long you can cry for. I’m going to squeeze again.” The little girl reached out with her hand again.

“Wah~!” The little boy cried.

The little girl withdrew her hand and the little boy stopped. The little girl reached out with her hand and the little boy cried. The two of them kept repeating this cycle.

After a few times, the little girl didn’t reach out with her hand this time, only saying: “I’m going to squeeze.”

“Wah~!” The little boy cried.

“I’m not squeezing.” The little girl said.

The little boy stopped.

He did stop but the little boy’s expression had changed now. It was no longer as innocent and pure as before.

“Act, act, keep on acting. You regret it, right? Did you forget to study child psychology back then, my International Swindler, Comrade Zhang Xiaobao?” The little girl laughed this time as she teasingly spoke into the little boy’s ear.

The little boy could no longer keep up the pretense and reaching up with a fat little hand to smack his forehead, he sighed as he said: “It wasn’t me being careless. It’s men who treat this thing with too much care.”

He mentally understood that previously, it had already become reflex. But for children, it wouldn’t even be possible to have this kind of reflex. Faced with such a situation, a child basically only has two reactions. One, keep crying and wait for someone to come comfort them—but he later stopped by himself. Two, switch from crying to laughing with the discovery of something amusing—but he himself was affected by his adult mindset.

“Comrade w.a.n.g Juan, I feel that a police officer shouldn’t do this kind of indecent thing. Especially for a policewoman, it really is too unethical for you to be this way.” Zhang Xiaobao finally admitted to his own ident.i.ty.

“Criminal Swindler, Comrade Zhang Xiaobao, you must remember that there are only bad intentions and that there’s no such thing as unreasonable measures. Tell me, where did you put the money?” w.a.n.g Juan did not feel the slightest embarra.s.sment. The training she received was like so.

Zhang Xiaobao glanced at the young maiden who had returned to her seat by the doorway again before turning to say to w.a.n.g Juan: “If you must add a description in front of my name, please say Suspect. Right now, I feel that what we need to consider shouldn’t be the issue of the money. Remember that, to me, money is never an issue. What I’m thinking of right now is if I can still eat that bowl of liangfen?”

“You really can find topics for idle chitchat. Where’s the money?” w.a.n.g Juan continued asking after the money.

“Have you been a cop until you’ve grown foolish? What money? Look at our current situation. Look at our surroundings. By a normal yet unbelievable logic, we’ve already left our original world and been reincarnated into another world. My dying regret is not being able to eat that bowl of liangfen.” Zhang Xiaobao turned over to look up at the ceiling.

w.a.n.g Juan looked at their surroundings again and also discovered that it wasn’t her time period. Or rather, the things in this world such as the appearance of the young maiden sitting by the doorway when she came over and the clothes she wore proved this point.

“It’s all you, it’s all you! You had to go do some hostage exchange. This is just great. I can’t ever see my family again. Pay me back! Pay back my parents! Pay back my brothers and sisters! Pay back my job!” While doing her best to keep her voice low, w.a.n.g Juan pinched Zhang Xiaobao’s shoulder as she complained.

“You’ve regretted it? Would it be better that I didn’t go over, letting that child continue to live under the constant threat of death then?” Zhang Xiaobao turned his head around again to ask.

“Regret? No, I have no regret. Who am I? I’m the Tyrant Flower of China. Please don’t use those kind of eyes to look at me. I will not allow my honor to be smeared.” w.a.n.g Juan paused for a bit before solemnly speaking to Zhang Xiaobao.

Zhang Xiaobao nodded his head in agreement with w.a.n.g Juan’s words. He thought for a bit before suddenly saying: “Do you think that in this life I’ll be able to see my parents? Looking at how the surroundings are arranged and that person’s words just now, this should be an affluent household.”

“Ai~!”12 w.a.n.g Juan sighed as she reasonably spoke: “Let’s first not think of that. Think about what kind of place we’re in? What should we do from now on?”

“Who cares what place this is? I’ve decided. I can finally see my parents in this lifetime so I’ll work hard to earn money and let them live well. Then, I’ll find a wife and let her live well. Although hearing that woman’s words before, you seem to be my wife. I’ve decided…”

“I’ve decided not to accept it. I will not have a life together with a Suspected International Criminal Swindler.” Not waiting for Zhang Xiaobao to finish speaking, w.a.n.g Juan directly denied it.

“Forget it. Let’s first not discuss such things. I’m going to sleep. There might be other things to do later on so I won’t keep you company.” Zhang Xiaobao lay back down again as he shut his eyes, the expression on his face one of antic.i.p.ation.