The Complete Bachelor Part 6

_Card parties_ for the playing of whist, domino, or poker are often given by bachelors at their apartments or residences. In apartments this cla.s.s of entertainment is only for men. Women should not go to bachelors' apartments except for luncheon, dinner, or supper. In a bachelor's house, however, any entertainment can be given. Small stakes are played for and the usual supper follows. The _farewell bachelor dinner_ will have its proper place in the chapter on Wedding Etiquette.

CHAPTER X.

THE COUNTRY HOUSE.

THE BACHELOR AS HOST.--THE BACHELOR AS GUEST.

Bachelors, whose incomes are of all sizes and conditions, can have some kind of a country house. It may be a fis.h.i.+ng lodge, a hunting box, maintained by three or four men clubbing together; a small cottage plainly and simply furnished at the seash.o.r.e, near golf links, or in a good neighborhood; or again a large establishment, a villa at Newport or in a fas.h.i.+onable colony with a retinue of servants and a stable filled with horses. Whichever it might be, open hospitality, as much as it is in your power, should prevail. However, never attempt anything more than you can accomplish, and by all means do not run into debt. To a fis.h.i.+ng or hunting lodge men only should be invited. It should be furnished with the mere necessaries, and hung with fis.h.i.+ng and hunting prints and trophies of the chase. The hall serves as sitting and even mess room. A man of all work or an old married couple are the best servants. Ample supplies are sent from town, but the leading idea is roughing it, and the table is partially supplied by the game and fish brought back by you and your friends. When the term of the visit of your guests expires, each should be able to bring home a basket of fish or some game. From time to time send to any of your hostesses of the winter something from your preserves. These attentions are much appreciated.

A truck farm or a small country place near town, which may have either fallen to you by inheritance or which you may have purchased, or which you have for kennels or for your horses, can also be used for entertaining. Even in the largest of these houses the plan of furnis.h.i.+ng is substantially the same. There should be a masculine note throughout the entire scheme. The furniture should be old-fas.h.i.+oned, and the pictures sporting and hunting prints and steel engravings. There should be an air of homeliness and open hospitality about the place. It should look as if it were verily Liberty Hall.

A tract of unprofitable land could be converted into golf links and a tennis court laid out. A picnic is the popular form in which bachelors who have such a possession may entertain. Some fifty to one hundred people can be invited, and a special train or boat, if the place is too far from the city for a drive, chartered for their accommodation. The invitations should state the hour at which this train or boat would leave the city. Stages await the guests at the country station and bring them up to the house. c.o.c.ktails, drinkables, claret cup, tea, and sandwiches are served on their arrival. There should be no fixed programme of amus.e.m.e.nt. Luncheon, or luncheon and dinner both, according to the length of stay, could be served, and the _menu_ should embrace a few courses of country fare. Dancing in the barn during the afternoon will be another form of entertainment, or if you wish to give an elaborate entertainment, vaudeville performers might be hired for the hour after luncheon.

In a large establishment the bachelor who entertains usually has residing with him a sister or female relative who acts as hostess. One of the delights of a wealthy bachelor is to have a large and well-appointed stable with a number of traps which are at the disposition of his guests.

A bachelor host always drives to the station or boat to meet his guests.

A drag, three-seated surrey, or a station van would be the smart vehicle. I am now writing of a man of large means. The method of entertaining should be the English one, without any fixed programme for the days of the guests' stay. Only when there is shooting, the party is expected to a.s.semble in the morning. If there is a local club, your men guests should be put up at it, and the entire party made visiting members of the neighboring casino. The rest is conveyed in the advice to have always plenty of good cheer and to entertain the visitors as much as possible. In these houses there is much drinking, possibly, and perhaps cards, but a young man who is a guest should be firm enough to resist temptation, and to stand by his convictions.

One word more, and this applies to many country houses, if not all of them. See that your guests' bedrooms are provided with soap, hair and clothes' brushes, and toilet articles. The desk should be filled with letter paper and envelopes, and if you want to appear very fas.h.i.+onable, the stationery should have the name of your place in blue or red letters at the top or in the right-hand corner of the first sheet. Many convivial souls place on a side table in each room mineral water, cigarettes, cigars, and the inevitable decanter.

When you are a guest you are met at the station by one of your host's traps. Do not be surprised, however, if you do not find this accommodation. It is considered very English, I know not why, to allow bachelors to reach a country house by the best means they can find at the station or landing. You are received by your host, and after refreshment are shown to your room. If you arrive late in the afternoon you do not see your hostess, but dress for dinner and find her in the drawing room when you go downstairs. You are expected to conform to the rules of the house as to the hours for meals, and to place yourself at the service of your hostess. You must certainly appear at any function which has been arranged for you, and it is very impolite to accept, during your stay, any outside invitation to any affair to which your host and hostess have not also been asked. If you have a valet you may bring him with you, but you must certainly notify your host of this intention. Few houses in this country have the accommodations necessary for outside servants.

Tipping is demoralizing, but it is an accepted custom. On your departure after a short stay, at Newport or a very fas.h.i.+onable resort, the servant who attends you should have five dollars, the butler five dollars, the coachman five dollars, and the chambermaid two dollars. At smaller places five dollars altogether, judiciously distributed, is ample, or a dollar each to three of the servants.

The first-mentioned amounts can be placed in envelopes and given to the servant attending you for the others. All this is a question of resources, and there are many men who avoid invitations to the large country houses in the East and North because they can not afford the tips. In England, when one is invited to the shooting, one tips the gamekeeper one to five pounds, according to the extent of the bag and duration of visit.

The usual method of inviting men in this country for a short stay is from Friday or Sat.u.r.day until Monday. It has often been a puzzle to them as to what they should take in their bag or how much luggage they should carry. At most not more than a good-sized bag or valise and perhaps a hatbox. For an evening's stay a dress-suit case is sufficient. In your valise must be placed your evening clothes, and if the party is to be somewhat of an informal one, I would also take my dinner jacket. If you are going to a very fas.h.i.+onable resort, a black frock coat, waistcoat, and fancy trousers would not be amiss, but in that case you would have also to take a hatbox for your top hat. Of recent years men in the country have been consulting their comfort more than absolute accuracy in the details of dress. Even at garden parties, at church, and at afternoon teas during the month of August at Newport, which is, after all, only the fas.h.i.+onable metropolis transported to another locality for the summer, you seldom see a frock coat or a top hat. Unless you are sure that there will be an occasion where these would be positively required, I would not take them, especially on so short a visit. The linen to be brought should consist of a dress s.h.i.+rt for each evening and a colored s.h.i.+rt for each morning, half a dozen handkerchiefs, two complete changes of underclothes, three pairs of ordinary and two pairs of black silk hose, and a pair of pyjamas. Take three of your ties for day wear and four white lawn for evening, and one black in case you are to use your dinner jacket. Slippers for the bedroom and pumps for evening wear should complete the clothing carried, unless you take your frock coat, when you would have to bring patent leather boots to wear with afternoon dress. I have given rather a liberal allowance of articles for a short stay, but one must be prepared for accidents or emergencies. It is better to take an extra s.h.i.+rt, or a change of underclothes, or a few more ties than one could ordinarily use, so that some _contretemps_ would not cause great annoyance and inconvenience. In the absence of a dressing case, care must be taken of the articles for the toilet. The tooth, nail, and shaving brushes, the sponges and washrags, should be packed in little waterproof silk bags, which can be obtained at a small price at any chemist's. Your host or hostess should provide you with soap, but I would not take the risk. I should bring my own in a little metal soapbox or well wrapped in thick paper. Your shaving articles, a shoehorn, b.u.t.ton hook, nail file, small pair of nail scissors, tooth powder, or listerine should not be forgotten. The large articles, your combs and your brushes, can all be wrapped separately in tissue paper. It would be gallant of you to bring a box of sweets for your hostess.

If you are asked to play golf, it might be more convenient to travel in your golf togs, which would serve as a lounge suit. But in that case a pair of long trousers to match your coat and waistcoat, or an entire lounge suit should be carried, as on Sunday you would be very uncomfortable in golf dress, and somewhat out of place. Or you might put your "knickers" in the bag, and wear the coat and waistcoat with long trousers.

CHAPTER XI.

A BACHELOR'S SERVANTS.

As soon as a bachelor begins to branch out a little and to have an apartment or a house or a country establishment, though the latter be only a fis.h.i.+ng or a hunting box, he must hire servants. The general servant is perhaps the one most universally employed. Many bachelors hire some middle-aged woman who not only does the cooking, but takes care of the apartment, valets him, and waits at table when he has guests to dinner. Others employ a man to look after them, who is valet and general _factotum_, and others again, with larger establishments, a man and wife. The former does the valeting, the waiting, and is steward and butler, while the woman attends to the cooking and laundry. There are quite a number of bachelor households of this description in our large cities, the occupants being several in number and clubbing together. One is appointed treasurer, and the butler and cook are hired at a stated price and receive a certain sum for catering. When good servants of this kind are found they are treasures.

All menservants should be clean shaven. A short bit of side whiskers--_a la_ mutton chop--is allowed; but under no circ.u.mstances should they have bearded faces or wear a mustache. Their linen and attire should be faultless. In the treatment of servants a man must exercise an iron will. He can be kind and considerate, but he must never descend to dispute with one, and certainly not swear at him. To be on familiar terms with one's servants shows the cloven foot of vulgarity. Discharge a servant at once when he is disrespectful or when he is careless in his duties or in his conduct. When asking for anything there is no necessity of forgetting the elements of true politeness, nor is it a blot on your deportment to utter a civil "thank you" for a service performed. All servants should address you as "Sir," and when called should reply "Yes, sir," and certainly not "All right." Your menservants touch their hats to you on receiving orders in the open, on being addressed, and upon your appearance. Encourage your servants now and then by a kind word, and see that they have good and wholesome food, clean and comfortable quarters. Once in a while give them a holiday, or an evening off, a cash remembrance at Christmas, and from time to time some part of your wardrobe or cast-off clothing. They are just like children, and must be treated with the rigor and mild discipline which a schoolmaster uses toward his pupils. In all their movements they should be noiseless and as automatic as possible in their actions.

And now for particular servants hired by a bachelor:

The _groom_ is, with the exception of the general servant, the first domestic likely to be in the employ of an unmarried man of moderate means. When a bachelor becomes a horse owner he can never be too particular about his turnouts and his liveries. The groom in the city or at a fas.h.i.+onable watering place should have two liveries--one for dress occasions and the other for what is known as a "stable suit." The latter, which is a simple English tweed or whipcord, made with a cutaway coat of the same material, will answer perfectly well for the country, where it is ridiculous to have elaborate liveries. A square brown Derby is worn with this suit, brown English driving gloves, and a white plastron or coachman's scarf. This flat scarf is the badge of distinction between the house and stable servant. No tie pin nor trinkets of any description should be allowed servants. The best dress livery is a frock coat, single-breasted, of kersey, the color of your livery; white buckskin riding breeches, top boots, top hat, white plastron, standing collar, and brown driving gloves. One distinctive color should be used, not only for your liveries but also for your traps, as well as one kind of harness. The c.o.c.kade on the hat is the privilege abroad of amba.s.sadors; it is bad form. Besides the care of your horse or horses, your groom must be a species of outside general servant, ready to go on errands or attend to the numerous duties of a manservant about a country place. By no means can he be subst.i.tuted for a valet, a butler, or an indoor servant. When he brings your trap to the door he holds the animals' heads until you are seated, when he touches his hat and lets go the reins. If he is to sit behind in the trap he must hold himself upright with folded arms. He alights immediately the trap is stopped, running all errands, and holding the horses until the drive is resumed. He sometimes accompanies his master when the latter rides. He brings his horse to the door and holds it until the mount. He follows, occasionally, on another horse at a respectful distance. Should you be wealthy enough to have also a coachman, your groom can act as second man on the box. A coachman's dress livery consists of a double-breasted long coachman's coat, top boots, and buckskin breeches, white flat plastron, high collar and top hat, and brown driving gloves.

When both servants are employed the groom is under the orders of the coachman as regards the stable work.

_The Valet._--Of course a valet is a luxury. A man can valet himself very easily, and if the instructions given in the chapters on the Care of Clothes and The Toilet are followed carefully, I hardly think that you would need such a personage. A woman can be perfectly trained to valet a man. Your general servant can also, and is required to fill this position. If you live at a club the club valet will attend to your clothes, and perform the duties of a private servant. There are "valeting companies" organized in many large cities, which take entire charge of your wardrobe, and again there are valets who are hired by several men clubbing together, and who are very capable servants. The individual valet, however, is a very valuable aid to a young bachelor of wealth, especially if he is a man of leisure, or if he goes out a great deal in society. A valet's duties are first and princ.i.p.ally the entire charge of his master's wardrobe and toilet, the details of which have been given in previous chapters. They begin an hour or so before the master rises, when clothes are to be pressed and put in order, boots and shoes to be polished and placed on their trees, and the costume of the day to be made ready. If possible, a small room is provided for him as his workshop.

At the hour for rising, the valet enters his master's room very quietly, and, if he is awake, pulls up the shades and lets in the daylight. The bath is then prepared, and while that is being taken the newspapers, mail, and breakfast tray are brought in, and the valet waits for orders.

Some men require their valets to shave them, but the majority simply intrust the care of their razors to them, preferring to perform that operation themselves. The valet a.s.sists his master in dressing, and, when the toilet is finished, ties or b.u.t.tons the boots, arranges the spats, and gives a final brush to the clothes. He then fetches the stick, gloves, and hat. During the day he may be employed on errands, in answering tradespeople, in paying bills, or in any minor occupations of that kind. A first-cla.s.s servant of this character should not only be steward but secretary. When writing letters for his master he should write them in the third person, and also sign them "Respectfully yours, JOHN SMITH, _valet_."

A valet is told of the engagements of the day, and has the clothes arranged accordingly, and he must be at his post. In the evening the dress suit is laid out, with choice of ties and two coats, the formal and informal, or Tuxedo. A valet must be at the rooms when his master retires. In traveling he takes care of the luggage, tickets, and all the little annoying details. He travels second cla.s.s abroad, and in this country he should never be allowed to be a pa.s.senger in a drawing-room car with his master. The valet wears no livery. He dresses quietly in a plain sack suit of dark material, and wears a Derby hat. Should he be required to wait on table, he dresses in semi-livery if the affair is a luncheon, and in evening dress if it is a dinner.

The _butler_ is a very rare functionary in a bachelor's establishment, only the wealthiest being able to afford him. The valet or general servant acts as butler, and when in this position he should always have a black coat on when answering the bell.

I have used the terms throughout this chapter of "master" and "servant."

Employer and employee are correct only when the relations between the two persons are not of a domestic character.

The most fas.h.i.+onable and efficient menservants are of English, Scotch, or Irish birth or descent. j.a.panese make excellent valets. Colored coachmen and grooms are not the vogue in New York or vicinity, but they are seen in the South. Very wealthy bachelors have introduced a fad for East Indian servants, but at present only a few of these have been employed, and those at Newport.

CHAPTER XII.

THE DANCE.

This is certainly a most important subject, and one which can not be lightly treated. I have thought it better to use exclusively the New York forms, which differ somewhat from the English, the French, and continental, as well as from a certain code of etiquette prevailing in other American cities.

I shall therefore, as we have no State b.a.l.l.s or ceremonials of that character, consider public a.s.semblages, a few of which are patronized by society in New York and elsewhere.

Of absolutely public b.a.l.l.s the only one which society attends is the Charity. In New York this has fallen somewhat in fas.h.i.+onable popularity, although efforts are being made to revive it. In Chicago and in other cities it is still a very fas.h.i.+onable function. It is there well patronized and is considered smart. Tickets to the Charity are sold by a number of lady patronesses, and you are apt to receive one or several from some of them, if you are a rich young man, with a request to purchase. If the note states that you are expected to be a guest you are simply to answer it, as you would any other invitation, and certainly not to inclose any money. Patronesses frequently are named because it is expected that they will purchase quite a number of tickets. And here let me give a useful hint. In sending money to this and for charitable entertainments in general, always do it by check; never inclose bills.

If you must use cash, keep it for your small tradespeople.

Everything may be said to have its price at a Charity Ball. Supper is sometimes included with the ticket. The repast is usually rather poor, but then you must remember it is for charity. Perhaps you will be asked some time in advance by the patronesses to be one in the "grand march."

The "grand march" proper is a form of exhibition long since relegated to b.a.l.l.s of the "Tough Boys' Coterie" and other a.s.semblages of the same cla.s.s. But it has survived, in place of a lancers or quadrille of honor, at the Charity Ball, and we have either to go through with it or watch it from the boxes with Christian patience. If you are to take part, I would advise you to present yourself at the hall or opera house about nine o'clock. The floor manager will do the rest. You are to offer your left arm to the lady you are taking out, and you march around the place in regular line, sometimes once, sometimes twice, and the agony is over.

The company a.s.sembled does not join in this ceremony, and the formation of figures and countermarches is an affair in vogue at b.a.l.l.s of a different cla.s.s, which I should imagine none of my readers would patronize or even "hear tell of," except through the newspapers.

The Inauguration Ball in Was.h.i.+ngton, as well as the New Years'

receptions at the different emba.s.sies' and secretaries' houses, are public functions to which the populace get admittance. They are crushes of the worst description, and at many of them refreshments are served.

Except to make an obeisance to your distinguished host and hostess--if to the President, shaking hands with him--no other ceremony is needed.

At Newport and at other watering places there are during the season semipublic dances at the Casino. Any one who subscribes to that place of amus.e.m.e.nt is ent.i.tled to all the social privileges. The tickets can be obtained from the secretary or his agent.

In every city there is an a.s.sembly or dancing organization on the lines of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs in New York. This is in itself not original with the "Four Hundred"--vulgar term!--but was copied from the St. Cecilia, the most exclusive affair of the kind in aristocratic Charleston, where it has existed since the days of the Revolution. The a.s.semblies proper in New York are called the Matriarchs. The arrangements are in the hands of a number of fas.h.i.+onable women instead of men. The plan of all these organizations is practically the same. In order to make matters easy and to pilot my reader through the intricacies of a fas.h.i.+onable ball, I will suppose that he is a stranger in New York, with some smart friends, and that he is going either to the Patriarchs' or to the a.s.sembly. The rules laid down will hold good for other cities. Your first intimation may be while visiting at the house of one of the patrons or patronesses, when your hostess or host may ask you if you would like to go to the a.s.sembly or the Patriarchs'. If you have no other engagement for that evening--and I think it would be policy for you to make others subservient to this--you should reply that you would be delighted to do so. Your host or hostess will then say that he or she will send you a ticket. This may be one way, or you may receive a note asking if you are free for that particular date, whether "would you like to go to the a.s.sembly?" etc., or again, you might simply receive a note with a ticket. In any one of these cases, just as soon as you receive the ticket you must answer your correspondent immediately, accepting, or, if you can not go, regretting and returning it. You must remember that all tickets are personal and each Patriarch or each patroness has only a certain number.

I would, if there were time between the date for the ball and the reception of your ticket, call or leave cards personally on your hostess or host for the evening, according to rules in a former chapter. I do not believe this is considered necessary in New York, and perhaps some people would think you were straining a point, but New York "society"

manners to-day are not all that could be desired.

The evening arrives. b.a.l.l.s and dances are theoretically supposed to begin at ten o'clock. You can safely go a little after eleven. You will be early enough. Your ticket is received, your hat and coat removed, your hat check given, and you proceed to the ballroom.

It is almost needless for me to tell you how to dress for this occasion.

At dances of any kind, formal evening dress is required.