A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Viii Part 63

EQUITY.

LIBERALITY, _chief steward to Virtue_.

CAPTAIN WELL-DONE.

COURTIER.

LAME SOLDIER.

CONSTABLES, _with Hue and Cry_.

TIPSTAVES.

SHERIFF.

CLERK.

CRIER.

JUDGE.

EPILOGUE.

THE CONTENTION BETWEEN LIBERALITY AND PRODIGALITY.

SCENE I.

_Enter_ VANITY _solus, all in feathers_.

In words to make description of my name, My nature or conditions, were but vain; Sith this attire so plainly shows the same, As showed cannot be in words more plain.

For lo, thus roundabout in feathers dight, Doth plainly figure mine inconstancy: As feathers, light of mind; of wit as light, Subjected still to mutability, And for to paint me forth more properly, Behold each feather decked gorgeously With colours strange in such variety, As plainly pictures perfect vanity.

And so I am, to put you out of doubt, Even vanity wholly; within, without: In head, in heart: in all parts roundabout: But whence I come, and why I hither come, And upon whom I daily do attend, In brief, to show you in a little sum, My special meaning is, and so an end.

I came from Fortune, my most sovereign dame, Amongst whose chiefest servants I am one: Fortune, that earthly G.o.ddess great of name, To whom all suits I do prefer alone.

She, minding in this place forthwith t'appear, In her most gorgeous pomp and princely port, Sends me to see all things in presence here, Prepar'd and furnish'd in the bravest sort.

Here will she mount this stately sumptuous throne, As she is wont to hear each man's desire: And whoso wins her favour by his moan, May have of her the thing he doth require.

And yet another dame there is, her enemy, 'Twixt whom remains continual emulation: Virtue who, in respect of Fortune's sovereignty, Is held, G.o.d wot, of simple reputation; Yet hither comes (poor soul) in her degree, This other seat half-forced to supply: But 'twixt their state what difference will be, Yourselves shall judge and witness, when you see.

Therefore I must go deck up handsomely, What best beseems Dame Fortune's dignity.

[_Exit_.

SCENE II.

_Enter_ PRODIGALITY, POSTILION, _and_ HOST.

PROD. Postilion, stay, thou drugg'st on like an a.s.s.

Lo, here's an inn, which I cannot well pa.s.s: Here will we bait, and rest ourselves awhile.

POST. Why, sir, you have to go but six small mile; The way is fair, the moon s.h.i.+nes very bright.

Best now go on, and then rest for all night.

PROD. Tush, Postil, fair or foul, or far or near, My weary bones must needs be rested here.

POST. 'Tis but a paltry inn, there's no good cheer; Yet shall you pay for all things pa.s.sing dear.

PROD. I care not for all that: I love mine ease.

POST. Well, sir, a G.o.d's name, then do what you please.

PROD. Knock, then, at the gate.

POST. Ho, who's at home? hostler, chamberlain, tapster?

Ho! take in gentlemen. Knave, slave, host, hostess, ho!

[_Rip, rap, rip, rap_.

What, is there none that answers? _Tout a la mort_?

Sir, you must make entrance at some other port: For here's no pa.s.sage.

PROD. No? let me come; I'll knock a little harder.

Here must I in; for sure I will no farder.

[_Rip, rap, rap, rap_.

Ho! who dwells here? [_Rip, rap, rap_]. I'll call on the women another while. Ho! b.u.t.ter-wench, dairy-maid, nurse, laundress, cook, host, hostess, anybody, ho!

HOST. Who's there?

PROD. Up, sir, with a horse night-cap! what, are ye all in a drunken dream! can ye not hear?

POST. Not a word more! he is fast asleep again, I fear. What, ho?

HOST. How now?

PROD. How now? now the devil take thee!

Can calling, nor knocking, nor nothing, awake thee?

HOST. Now, sir, what lack ye?

PROD. Lodging.

HOST. What are you?

PROD. Gentlemen. Seest thou not?

HOST. Whence come ye?

PROD. What skills that? open the gate.

HOST. Nay, soft a while, I am not wont so late To take in guests. I like ye not: away.

PROD. Nay, stay awhile, mine host; I pray thee, stay, Open the gate, I pray thee heartily, And what we take we will pay thee royally.

HOST. And would ye have lodging then?

PROD. Yea, rather than my life.

HOST. Then stay a while; I'll first go ask my wife.