The Perjur'd Husband Part 4

_Lud._ Hum----some Sort of Fops it may: But I'm none of those----I never give my Opinion of a Dish till I've tasted; neither do I care to dine often on one Sort of Meat without changing the Sauce----But when that Cloud's withdrawn, how long I shall keep my Resolution I know not.

L. _Piz._ Say you so! Why then the only Way to preserve your Appet.i.te is to feed you slenderly; or only let you see the food, but not to taste.

_Lud._ Faith, Madam, I'm no Camelion, but Flesh and Blood----Therefore these Prescriptions are of no Use----One Sight of that dear charming Face of your's, would be more obliging to your humble Servant.

L. _Piz. unmasks._ Well, Sir, what think you? Is there any thing in this Face worth your Regard?

_Lud._ Ah! by Heaven, an Angel----Oh! Madam, now blame yourself for my Neglect, for had you sent the Picture of her, in whom all those Beauties center, I had in this Place waited the Coming of my G.o.ddess, or rather flown on the Wings of eager Love, to meet my Fair, tho' in the Arms of ten thousand Dangers----Say, my charming Angel, do you forgive me? But why do I ask? your Eyes a.s.sure me you do; at least I'll force a Pardon from these dear, soft, ruby Lips. [_Kisses her in Extasy._

L. _Piz._ Hold, hold! been't so lavish----a sparing Gamester is the likeliest to keep in Stock----whilst a profuse Hand at one Cast throws all he has away.

_Lud._ To fear that, were to doubt your Charms, in which a Lover is sure to find constant Supplies----But we lose Time----Let's retire to my Lodgings, where I'll give thee the best Proofs of my Love I can?

L. _Piz. aside._ Well! He's a charming Fellow----Oh! how happy are Wives in _France_ and _England_, where such as he swarm!

_Lud._ Come, Madam, come----Why, what do you mean by this Delay?

Consider I'm a Man, a mortal, wis.h.i.+ng, amorous Man----

L. _Piz._ And consider I'm a Woman----

_Lud. aside._ Ay, ay: That I know: At least I hope to find you such----or I would not be in such Haste----

L. _Piz._ And have a Reputation to preserve.

_Lud._ Oh! Lord, what a d.a.m.n'd Turn's here? Reputation, say you? Egad, I find all Women make Pretence to that mysterious Word. [_Aside._]

What! Are not you married, Madam?

L. _Piz._ Yes, what then?

_Lud._ Why then you have a Reputation to preserve--that's all.

L. _Piz._ All, Sir, yes, and all in all to me----Do you consider what Country you're in, Sir?

_Lud._ Yes, Faith, Madam; and what Const.i.tution I am of too.

I know Murder is as venial a Sin here, as Adultery is in some Countries; And I am too apprehensive of my mortal Part not to avoid Danger----Therefore, Madam, you have an infallible Security----if I should betray you, I bring myself into Jeopardy, and of all Pleasures, Self-Preservation is the dearest.

L. _Piz._ A very open Speaker, I vow.

_Lud._ Ay, Madam, that's best----Hang your creeping, cringing, whining, sighing, dying, lying Lovers----Pugh! Their Flames are not more durable than mine, tho' they make more Noise in the Blaze.

Sings:

_Hang the whining Way of Wooing,_ _Loving was design'd a sport._

L. _Piz. aside._ The Duce take me if this Fellow has not charm'd me strangely----Well, the Carnival is almost over, and then must I be shut up like a Nun again----Hey! Hoa! This Time will be so short----

_Lud._ Let's make the better Use on't then, my Dear. We will consider when we have nothing else to do, but at present there's a Matter of the greatest Moment, which I must impart to you----Therefore, come dear Rogue, come----

L. _Piz._ [_Looking on her Watch._] Hold----I have outstaid my Time, and must return Home instantly, to prevent Discoveries.

_Lud._ Faith, Madam, this is not fair----to raise a Man's Expectation, and then disappoint him! Would you be serv'd so yourself now?

L. _Piz._ I'll endeavour to disengage myself from my jealous Husband, and contrive another Meeting.

_Lud._ But will you be sure to meet me again?

L. _Piz._ I give you my Hand as a Pledge----

_Lud. Kisses it._ And I this Kiss in Return----Adieu, my Charmer.

L. _Piz._ Signior, farewel. [_Exeunt severally._

_Enter_ Ba.s.sino, Alonzo.

_Ba.s.s._ Well, Sir, your Business----

_Alon._ It is to tell you---- You are a Villain.

_Ba.s.s._ Ha----

_Alon._ And that as such I ought to have treated you before the Face Of false _Aurelia_----But I scorn to follow The barbarous Custom of my native Country.

I seek with Honour to revenge my Wrongs; Therefore, Sir, draw----

_Ba.s.s._ This Action speaks you n.o.ble--be likewise just, And let me know the Cause that moves your Anger.

By Heaven I'd rather call you still my Friend, Than be your Enemy----Yet, if I wrong'd you, I'll give you Satisfaction----

_Alon._ Trifler, away----Too well thou know'st the Cause; And now would'st sooth my Wrongs with Flattery, But my Resolve is fix'd as Heaven's Decrees: And one of us must fall----Let the Survivor Dispose of that base, false, perjur'd _Aurelia_, As both his Love and Honour shall direct.

If my propitious Stars defend my Life, You shall not die alone----Th' adulterous Fair Shall bear you Company----Now draw.

_Ba.s.s._ Oh! hold.

One Moment hold, I must unfold this Riddle: Adulterous Fair, say you?

_Alon._ Yes: She's my Wife.

_Ba.s.s._ Ha----your Wife!

Sure there's a Curse entail'd upon that Name. [_Aside._ What! your real Wife?

_Alon._ If the Command of an expiring Father, And her own Vows can make her mine, she's so: Indeed the Marriage Rites are yet to come, Which slily she delay'd these two Months past, On slight Pretence of finis.h.i.+ng the Time Of mourning for her Father----But 'tis plain, I was a Property to your base Love, And only design'd to fill up your Place, When surfeited you should return to _Turin_.

h.e.l.l----Furies! Draw, or in my just Revenge, I'll pin you to the Earth----

_Ba.s.s._ Oh! Woman! Woman! [_Aside._ Yes, I will draw----But ere the fatal Stroke Is past Recal, I swear _Aurelia_'s Virtue Is clear and spotless, like _Diana_'s self: Nor was I prompted on this early Visit, But with Design to take my last Farewel, Having last Night receiv'd my Prince's Orders To haste to _Turin_----Therefore if I fall, I hope she'll meet with Mercy----Now come on.

_Alon._ Hold, hold, my Lord; Oh! could I credit this, I would ask Pardon, and entreat your Friends.h.i.+p.

_Ba.s.s._ 'Tis true, upon my Honour---- But if you doubt my Words, I'm ready---- Tho' I have Reason to decline this Combat, At least at present----Oh! _Placentia_! [_Aside._ Oh! my _Placentia_! why should I abuse thee?

_Alon._ My Lord, you seem disturb'd----

_Ba.s.s._ Oh! _Alonzo_! _Alonzo_!