Cyrano De Bergerac Part 10

CYRANO No, your lords.h.i.+p, as n.o.body's.

DE GUICHE My uncle Richelieu yesterday found your spontaneity diverting. I shall be pleased to be of use to you with him.

LE BRET [dazzled] [dazzled] Great G.o.d! Great G.o.d!

DE GUICHE I cannot think I am wrong in supposing that you have rhymed a tragedy?43 LE BRET [whispering to [whispering to CYRANO] My boy, your Agrippina will be played! CYRANO] My boy, your Agrippina will be played!

DE GUICHE Take it to him....

CYRANO [tempted and pleased [tempted and pleased] Really ...

DE GUICHE He has taste in such matters. He will no more than, here and there, alter a word, recast a pa.s.sage....

CYRANO [whose face has instantly darkened] [whose face has instantly darkened] Not to be considered, monsieur! My blood runs cold at the thought of a single comma added or suppressed. Not to be considered, monsieur! My blood runs cold at the thought of a single comma added or suppressed.

DE GUICHE On the other hand, my dear sir, when a verse finds favor with him, he pays for it handsomely.

CYRANO He scarcely can pay me as I pay myself, when I have achieved a verse to my liking, by singing it over to myself!

DE GUICHE You are proud.

CYRANO You have observed it?

ONE OF THE CADETS [coming in with a number of disreputable, draggled tattered hats threaded on his sword] [coming in with a number of disreputable, draggled tattered hats threaded on his sword] Look, Cyrano! at the remarkable feathered game we secured this morning near the Porte de Nesle! The hats of the fugitives! Look, Cyrano! at the remarkable feathered game we secured this morning near the Porte de Nesle! The hats of the fugitives!

CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Spoli opim! Spoli opim!44 ALL [laughing] [laughing] Ha! Ha! Ha! ... Ha! Ha! Ha! ...

CUIGY The one who planned that military action, my word! must be proud of it to-day!

BRISSAILLE Is it known who did it?

DE GUICHE I!-[The laughter stops short] They had instructions to chastise-a matter one does not attend to in person,-a drunken scribbler. They had instructions to chastise-a matter one does not attend to in person,-a drunken scribbler. [Constrained silence.] [Constrained silence.]

THE CADET [under breath, to CYRANO, indicating the hats] What can we do with them? They are oily.... Make them into a hotch pot?

CYRANO [taking the sword with the hats, and bowing, as he shakes them off at DE GUICHE's DE GUICHE's feet feet] Monsieur, if you should care to return them to your friends? ...

DE GUICHE [rises, and in a curt tone] [rises, and in a curt tone] My chair and bearers, at once. [ My chair and bearers, at once. [To CYRANO, CYRANO, violently violently.] As for you, sir ...

A VOICE [in the street, shouting] [in the street, shouting] The chairmen of Monseigneur the Comte de Guiche! The chairmen of Monseigneur the Comte de Guiche!

DE GUICHE [who has recovered control over himself, with, a smile] [who has recovered control over himself, with, a smile] Have you read Don Quixote? Have you read Don Quixote?45 CYRANO I have. And at the name of that divine madman, I uncover ...

DE GUICHE My advice to you is to ponder....

A CHAIRMAN [appearing at the back] [appearing at the back] The chair is at the door! The chair is at the door!

DE GUICHE The chapter of the windmills.

CYRANO [bowing] [bowing] Chapter thirteen. Chapter thirteen.

DE GUICHE For when a man attacks them, it often happens....

CYRANO I have attacked, am I to infer, a thing that veers with every wind?

DE GUICHE That one of their far-reaching canvas arms pitches him down into the mud!

CYRANO Or up among the stars! [Exit DE GUICHE. He is seen getting into his chair. The gentlemen withdraw whispering. LE BRET goes to the door with them. The crowd leaves.] [Exit DE GUICHE. He is seen getting into his chair. The gentlemen withdraw whispering. LE BRET goes to the door with them. The crowd leaves.]

SCENE VIII.

Cyrano, Le Bret, the Cadets [The CADETS remain seated at the right and left at tables where food and drink is brought to them].

CYRANO [bowing with a derisive air to those who leave without daring to take leave of him] [bowing with a derisive air to those who leave without daring to take leave of him] Gentlemen ... gentlemen ... gentlemen.... Gentlemen ... gentlemen ... gentlemen....

LE BRET [coming forward, greatly distressed, lifting his hands to Heaven] [coming forward, greatly distressed, lifting his hands to Heaven] Oh, in what a pretty pair of shoes.... Oh, in what a pretty pair of shoes....

CYRANO Oh, you! ... I expect you to grumble!

LE BRET But yourself, you will agree with me that invariably to cut the throat of opportunity becomes an exaggeration! ...

CYRANO Yes. I agree. I do exaggerate.

LE BRET [triumphant] [triumphant] You see, you admit it! ... You see, you admit it! ...

CYRANO But for the sake of principle, and of example, as well, I think it a good thing to exaggerate as I do!

LE BRET Could you but leave apart, once in a while, your mousquetaire of a soul, fortune, undoubtedly, fame....

CYRANO And what should a man do? Seek some grandee, take him for patron, and like the obscure creeper clasping a tree-trunk, and licking the bark of that which props it up, attain to height by craft instead of strength? No, I thank you. Dedicate, as they all do, poems to financiers? Wear motley in the humble hope of seeing the lips of a minister distend for once in a smile not ominous of ill? No, I thank you. Eat every day a toad? Be threadbare at the belly with groveling? Have his skin dirty soonest at the knees? Practice feats of dorsal elasticity? No, I thank you. With one hand stroke the goat while with the other he waters the cabbage? Make gifts of senna46 that counter-gifts of rhubarb may accrue, and indefatigably swing his censer in some beard? No, I thank you. Push himself from lap to lap, become a little great man in a great little circle, propel his s.h.i.+p with madrigals for oars and in his sails the sighs of the elderly ladies? No, I thank you. Get the good editor Sercy to print his verses at proper expense? that counter-gifts of rhubarb may accrue, and indefatigably swing his censer in some beard? No, I thank you. Push himself from lap to lap, become a little great man in a great little circle, propel his s.h.i.+p with madrigals for oars and in his sails the sighs of the elderly ladies? No, I thank you. Get the good editor Sercy to print his verses at proper expense?47 No, I thank you. Contrive to be nominated Pope in conclaves held by imbeciles in wineshops? No, I thank you. Work to construct a name upon the basis of a sonnet, instead of constructing other sonnets? No, I thank you. Discover talent in tyros, and in them alone? Stand in terror of what gazettes may please to say, and say to himself "At whatever cost, may I figure in the Paris Mercury!" No, I thank you. Contrive to be nominated Pope in conclaves held by imbeciles in wineshops? No, I thank you. Work to construct a name upon the basis of a sonnet, instead of constructing other sonnets? No, I thank you. Discover talent in tyros, and in them alone? Stand in terror of what gazettes may please to say, and say to himself "At whatever cost, may I figure in the Paris Mercury!"48 No, I thank you. Calculate, cringe, peak, prefer making a call to a poem,-pet.i.tion, solicit, apply? No, I thank you! No, I thank you! No, I thank you! But ... sing, dream, laugh, loaf, be single, be free, have eyes that look squarely, a voice with a ring; wear, if he chooses, his hat hindside afore; for a yes, for a no, fight a duel or turn a ditty! ... Work, without concern of fortune or of glory, to accomplish the heart's-desired journey to the moon! Put forth nothing that has not its spring in the very heart, yet, modest, say to himself, "Old man, be satisfied with blossoms, fruits, yea, leaves alone, so they be gathered in your garden and not another man's!" Then, if it happens that to some small extent he triumph, be obliged to render of the glory, to Caesar, not one jot, but honestly appropriate it all. In short, scorning to be the parasite, the creeper, if even failing to be the oak, rise, not perchance to a great height, ... but rise alone! No, I thank you. Calculate, cringe, peak, prefer making a call to a poem,-pet.i.tion, solicit, apply? No, I thank you! No, I thank you! No, I thank you! But ... sing, dream, laugh, loaf, be single, be free, have eyes that look squarely, a voice with a ring; wear, if he chooses, his hat hindside afore; for a yes, for a no, fight a duel or turn a ditty! ... Work, without concern of fortune or of glory, to accomplish the heart's-desired journey to the moon! Put forth nothing that has not its spring in the very heart, yet, modest, say to himself, "Old man, be satisfied with blossoms, fruits, yea, leaves alone, so they be gathered in your garden and not another man's!" Then, if it happens that to some small extent he triumph, be obliged to render of the glory, to Caesar, not one jot, but honestly appropriate it all. In short, scorning to be the parasite, the creeper, if even failing to be the oak, rise, not perchance to a great height, ... but rise alone!

LE BRET Alone? Good! but not one against all! How the devil did you contract the mania that possesses you for making enemies, always, everywhere?

CYRANO By seeing you make friends, and smile to those same flocks of friends with a mouth that takes for model an old purse! I wish not to be troubled to return bows in the street, and I exclaim with glee "An enemy the more!"

LE BRET This is mental aberration!

CYRANO I do not dispute it. I am so framed. To displease is my pleasure. I love that one should hate me. Dear friend, if you but knew how much better a man walks under the exciting fire of hostile eyes, and how amused he may become over the spots on his doublet, spattered by Envy and Cowardice! ... You, the facile friends.h.i.+p wherewith you surround yourself, resembles those wide Italian collars, loose and easy, with a perforated pattern, in which the neck looks like a woman's. They are more comfortable, but of less high effect; for the brow not held in proud position by any constraint from them, falls to nodding this way and that.... But for me every day Hatred starches and flutes the ruff whose stiffness holds the head well in place. Every new enemy is another plait in it, adding compulsion, but adding, as well, a ray: for, similar in every point to the Spanish ruff, Hatred is a bondage, ... but is a halo, too!

LE BRET [after a pause, slipping his arm through CYRANO' CYRANO's] To the hearing of all be proud and bitter, ... but to me, below breath, say simply that she does not love you!

CYRANO [sharply] [sharply] Not a word! [ Not a word! [CHRISTIAN has come in and mingled with the cadets; they ignore him; he has finally gone to a little table by himself, where LISE waits on him.]

SCENE IX.

Cyrano, Le Bret, the Cadets, Christian de Neuvillette

ONE OF THE CADETS [seated at a table at the back, gla.s.s in hand] [seated at a table at the back, gla.s.s in hand] Hey, Cyrano! [CYRANO Hey, Cyrano! [CYRANO turns toward him turns toward him] Your Your story! story!

CYRANO Presently! [He goes toward the back on LE BRET's LE BRET's arm. They talk low arm. They talk low.]

THE CADET [rising and coming toward coming toward the front] the front] The account of your fight! It will be the best lesson The account of your fight! It will be the best lesson [stopping in front of the table at which CHRISTIAN is sitting] [stopping in front of the table at which CHRISTIAN is sitting] for this timorous novice! for this timorous novice!

CHRISTIAN [looking up] [looking up] ... Novice? ... Novice?

OTHER CADET Yes, sickly product of the North!

CHRISTIAN Sickly?

FIRST CADET [impressively] Monsieur de Neuvillette, it is a good deed to warn you that there is a thing no more to be mentioned in our company than rope in the house of the hanged!

CHRISTIAN And what is it?

OTHER CADET [in a terrifying voice] [in a terrifying voice] Look at me! Look at me! [Three times, darkly, he places his finger upon his nose.] [Three times, darkly, he places his finger upon his nose.] You have understood? You have understood?

CHRISTIAN Ah, it is the ...

OTHER CADET Silence! ... Never must you so much as breathe that word, or ... [He points'toward [He points'toward CYRANO CYRANO at the back talking with at the back talking with LE BRET.]You will have him, over there, to deal with! LE BRET.]You will have him, over there, to deal with!

OTHER CADET [who while [who while CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN was turned toward the first, has noiselessly seated himself on the table behind him] was turned toward the first, has noiselessly seated himself on the table behind him] Two persons were lately cut off in their pride by him for talking through their noses. He thought it personal. Two persons were lately cut off in their pride by him for talking through their noses. He thought it personal.

OTHER CADET [in a cavernous voice, as he rises from under the table where he had slipped on all fours] [in a cavernous voice, as he rises from under the table where he had slipped on all fours] Not the remotest allusion, ever, to the fatal cartilage, ... unless you fancy an early grave! Not the remotest allusion, ever, to the fatal cartilage, ... unless you fancy an early grave!

OTHER CADET A word will do the business! What did I say? ... A word? ... A simple gesture! Make use of your pocket handkerchief, you will shortly have use for your shroud! [Silence. All around [Silence. All around CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN watch him, with folded arms. He rises and goes to CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX, who, in conversation with an officer, affects to notice nothing.] watch him, with folded arms. He rises and goes to CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX, who, in conversation with an officer, affects to notice nothing.]

CHRISTIAN Captain!

CARBON [turning and looking him rather contemptuously up and down] [turning and looking him rather contemptuously up and down] Monsieur? Monsieur?

CHRISTIAN What is the proper course for a man when he finds gentlemen of the South too boastful?

CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOLIX He must prove to them that one can be of the North, yet brave. [He turns his back upon him.]

CHRISTIAN I am much obliged.

FIRST CADET [to CYRANO] And now, the tale of your adventure! ALL Yes, yes, now let us hear!

CYRANO [coming forward among them] My adventure? [All draw their stools nearer, and sit around him, with craned necks. CHRISTIAN CHRISTIAN sits astride a chair.] sits astride a chair.] Well, then, I was marching to meet them. The moon up in the skies was s.h.i.+ning like a silver watch, when suddenly I know not what careful watch-maker having wrapped it in a cottony cloud, there occurred the blackest imaginable night; and, the streets being nowise lighted,- Well, then, I was marching to meet them. The moon up in the skies was s.h.i.+ning like a silver watch, when suddenly I know not what careful watch-maker having wrapped it in a cottony cloud, there occurred the blackest imaginable night; and, the streets being nowise lighted,-mordious!-you could see no further than ...

CHRISTIAN Your nose. [Silence. Everyone slowly gets up; all look with terror at CYRANO. He has stopped short, amazed. Pause.] [Silence. Everyone slowly gets up; all look with terror at CYRANO. He has stopped short, amazed. Pause.]

CYRANO Who is that man?

ONE OF THE CADETS [low] [low] He joined this morning. He joined this morning.

CYRANO [taking a step toward [taking a step toward CHRISTIAN] This morning? CHRISTIAN] This morning?

CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX [low] [low] His name is Baron de Neuvill ... His name is Baron de Neuvill ...

CYRANO [stopping short] [stopping short] Ah, very well.... Ah, very well.... [He turns pale, then red, gives evidence of another impulse to throw himself upon [He turns pale, then red, gives evidence of another impulse to throw himself upon CHRISTIAN.] I.... [ CHRISTIAN.] I.... [He conquers it, and says in a stifled voice.] Very Very well. well. [He takes up his tale.] As I was [He takes up his tale.] As I was saying ... saying ... [with a burst of rage.] Mordious! ... [He continues in a natural tone] one could not see in the very least. [Consternation. All resume their seats, staring at one another.] [with a burst of rage.] Mordious! ... [He continues in a natural tone] one could not see in the very least. [Consternation. All resume their seats, staring at one another.] And I was walking along, reflecting that for a very insignificant rogue I was probably about to offend some great prince who would bear me a lasting grudge, that, in brief, I was about to thrust my ... And I was walking along, reflecting that for a very insignificant rogue I was probably about to offend some great prince who would bear me a lasting grudge, that, in brief, I was about to thrust my ...

CHRISTIAN Nose ... [All get up. CHRISTIAN has tilted his chair and is rocking on the hind legs.]

CYRANO [choking] Finger ... between the tree and the bark; for the aforesaid prince might be of sufficient power to trip me and throw me ...

CHRISTIAN On my nose ...

CYRANO [wipes the sweat from his brow.] [wipes the sweat from his brow.] But, said I, "Gascony forward ! Never falter when duty prompts! Forward, Cyrano!" and, saying this, I advance-when suddenly, in the darkness, I barely avoid a blow... But, said I, "Gascony forward ! Never falter when duty prompts! Forward, Cyrano!" and, saying this, I advance-when suddenly, in the darkness, I barely avoid a blow...

CHRISTIAN Upon the nose...

CYRANO I ward it.... and thereupon find myself...

CHRISTIAN Nose to nose...

CYRANO [springing toward him] Ventre- Saint- Gris! [springing toward him] Ventre- Saint- Gris! ... [ ... [All the GASCONS GASCONS rush forward, to see; rush forward, to see; CYRANO, CYRANO, on reaching on reaching CHRISTIAN, CHRISTIAN, controls himself and proceeds controls himself and proceeds] ... with a hundred drunken brawlers, smelling...

CHRISTIAN To the nose's limit...

CYRANO [deathly pale, and smiling] ... of garlic and of grease. I leap forward, head lowered...

CHRISTIAN Nose to the wind! ...

CYRANO And I charge them. I knock two breathless and run a third through the body. One lets off at me: Paf! and I retort...

CHRISTIAN Pif!

CRYANO [exploding] Death and d.a.m.nation! Go,-all of you! [All the CADETS make for the door.] [All the CADETS make for the door.]

FIRST CADET The tiger is roused at last!

CYRANO All! and leave me with this man.

SECOND CADET Bigre! Bigre! When we see him again, it will be in the shape of mince-meat! When we see him again, it will be in the shape of mince-meat!

RAGUENEAU Mince-meat?...

OTHER CADET In one of your pies.

RAGUENEAU I feel myself grow white and flabby as a table-napkin!

CARBON DE CASTEL-JALOUX Let us go!

OTHER CADET Not a smudge of him will be left!