Cyrano De Bergerac Part 3

RUNNING MURMURS Hus.h.!.+... Has he come? No! ... Yes, he has! ... In the box with the grating.... The cardinal! ... the cardinal! ... the cardinal! ...16 ONE OF THE PAGES What a shame! ... Now we shall have to behave! [Knocking on the stage. Complete stillness. Pause.] [Knocking on the stage. Complete stillness. Pause.]

VOICE OF ONE OF THE MARQUISES [breaking the deep silence, behind the curtain.] Snuff that candle! Snuff that candle!

OTHER MARQUIS [thrusting his head out between the curtains.] [thrusting his head out between the curtains.] A chair! [ A chair! [A chair is pa.s.sed from hand to hand, above the heads. The marquis takes it and disappears, after kissing his hand repeatedly toward the boxes. ]

A SPECTATOR Silence! [Once more, the three knocks. The curtain opens. Tableau. The marquises [Once more, the three knocks. The curtain opens. Tableau. The marquises seated at the sides, seated at the sides, 17 17 in att.i.tudes of languid haughtiness. The stage-setting is the faint-colored blueish sort usual in a pastoral. Four small crystal candelabra light the stage. The violins play softly.] in att.i.tudes of languid haughtiness. The stage-setting is the faint-colored blueish sort usual in a pastoral. Four small crystal candelabra light the stage. The violins play softly.]

LE BRET [to RAGUENEAU, RAGUENEAU, under breath] under breath] Is Montfleury the first to appear? Is Montfleury the first to appear?

RAGUENEAU [likewise under breath] Yes. The opening lines are his. LE BRET Cyrano is not here. Yes. The opening lines are his. LE BRET Cyrano is not here.

RAGUENEAU I have lost my wager.

LE BRET Let us be thankful. Let us be thankful. [A bagpipe is heard. MONTFLEURY appears upon the stage, enormous, in a conventional shepherd's costume, with a rose-wreathed hat set jauntily on the side of his head, breathing into a be-ribboned bag pipe.] [A bagpipe is heard. MONTFLEURY appears upon the stage, enormous, in a conventional shepherd's costume, with a rose-wreathed hat set jauntily on the side of his head, breathing into a be-ribboned bag pipe.]

THE PIT [applauding] Bravo, Montfleury! Montfleury!

MONTFLEURY [after bowing, proceeds to play the part of PHDO] PHDO]

Happy the man who, freed from Fas.h.i.+on's fickle sway, In exile self-prescribed whiles peaceful hours away; Who when Zephyrus sighs amid the answering trees....

A VOICE [from the middle of the pit] Rogue! Did I not forbid you for one month? Rogue! Did I not forbid you for one month? [Consternation. Every one looks around. Murmurs.] [Consternation. Every one looks around. Murmurs.]

VARIOUS VOICES Hein? Hein? What? What is the matter? What? What is the matter?

[Many in the boxes rise to see]

CUIGY It is he!

LE BRET [alarmed] Cyrano!

THE VOICE King of the Obese! Incontinently vanis.h.!.+ ...

THE WHOLE AUDIENCE [indignant.] [indignant.] Oh!... Oh!...

MONTFLEURY But ...

THE VOICE You stop to muse upon the matter?

SEVERAL VOICES [from the pit and the boxes.] [from the pit and the boxes.] Hus.h.!.+... Hus.h.!.+...

Enough! ... Proceed, Montfleury ... Fear nothing!

MONTFLEURY [in an unsteady voice] [in an unsteady voice] Happy the man who freed from Fas.h.i.+on's f-... Happy the man who freed from Fas.h.i.+on's f-...

THE VOICE [more threatening than before [more threatening than before] How is this? Shall I be constrained, Man of the Monster Belly, to enforce my regulation... regularly? [An arm holding a cane leaps above the level of the heads.] [An arm holding a cane leaps above the level of the heads.]

MONTFLEURY [in a voice growing fainter and fainter] [in a voice growing fainter and fainter] Happy the man... Happy the man... [The cane is wildly flourished.] [The cane is wildly flourished.]

THE VOICE Leave the stage!

THE PIT Oh!...

MONTFLEURY [choking] [choking] Happy the man who freed... Happy the man who freed...

CYRANO [appears above the audience, standing upon a chair, his arms folded on his chest, his hat at a combative angle, his moustache on end, his nose terrifying]

Ah! I shall lose my temper! [Sensation at sight of him] [Sensation at sight of him]

SCENE IV.

The same, with Cyrano, then Bellerose and Jodelet MONTFLEURY [to the [to the MARQUISES] Messieurs, I appeal to you! MARQUISES] Messieurs, I appeal to you!

ONE OF THE MARQUISES [languidly] But go ahead! ... Play!

CYRANO Fat man, if you attempt it, I will dust the paint off you with this!

THE MARQUIS Enough!

CYRANO Let every little lordling keep silence in his seat, or I will ruffle his ribbons with my cane!

ALL THE MARQUISES [rising] This is too much! ... Montfleury....

CYRANO Let Montfleury go home, or stay, and, having cut his ears off, I will disembowel him!

A VOICE But...

CYRANO Let him go home, I said!

OTHER VOICE But after all ...

CYRANO It is not yet done? [With show of turning up his sleeves.] Very well, upon that stage, as on a platter trimmed with green, you shall see me carve that mount of brawn.... Very well, upon that stage, as on a platter trimmed with green, you shall see me carve that mount of brawn....

MONTFLEURY [calling up his whole dignity] Monsieur, you cast indignity, in my person, upon the Muse!

CYRANO [very civilly [very civilly] Monsieur, if that lady, with whom you have naught to do, had the pleasure of beholding you... just as you stand, there, like a decorated pot! ... she could not live, I do protest, but she hurled her buskin at you!

THE PIT Montfleury!... Montfleury! ... Give us Baro's piece!

CYRANO [to those shouting around him [to those shouting around him] I beg you will show some regard for my scabbard: it is ready to give up the sword! [The s.p.a.ce around him widens. [The s.p.a.ce around him widens.]

THE CROWD [backing away] Hey... softly, there!

CYRANO [to [to MONTFLEURY] Go off! MONTFLEURY] Go off!

THE CROWD [closing again, and grumbling] Oh! ... Oh! Oh! ... Oh!

CYRANO [turning suddenly] Has somebody objections? [ Has somebody objections? [The crowd again pushes away from him.]

A VOICE [at the back, singing.]

Monsieur de Cyrano, one sees, Inclines to be tyrannical; In spite of that tyrannicle We shall see La Clorise!

THE WHOLE AUDIENCE [catching up the tune] La Clorise! La Clorise! La Clorise! La Clorise!

CYRANO Let me hear that song again, and I will do you all to death with my stick!

A BURGHER Samson come back! ...

CYRANO Lend me your jaw, good man!

A LADY [in one of the boxes] [in one of the boxes] This is unheard of! This is unheard of!

A MAN It is scandalous!

A BURGHER It is irritating, to say no more.

A PAGE What fun it is!

THE PIT Ksss! ... Montfleury! ... Cyrano! ...

CYRANO Be still! ...

THE PIT [in uproar] [in uproar] Hee-haw! ... Baaaaah! ... Bow- wow! ... c.o.c.kadoodledoooooo! Hee-haw! ... Baaaaah! ... Bow- wow! ... c.o.c.kadoodledoooooo!

CYRANO I will ...

A PAGE Meeeow!

CYRANO I order you to hold your tongues! ... I dare the floor collectively to utter another sound! ... I challenge you, one and all! ... I will take down your names ... Step forward, budding heroes! Each in his turn. You shall be given numbers. Come, which one of you will open the joust with me? You, monsieur? No! You? No! The first that offers is promised all the mortuary honors due the brave. Let all who wish to die hold up their hands! [Silence.] [Silence.] It is modesty that makes you shrink from the sight of my naked sword? Not a name? Not a hand?-Very good. Then I proceed. It is modesty that makes you shrink from the sight of my naked sword? Not a name? Not a hand?-Very good. Then I proceed. [Turning toward the stage where [Turning toward the stage where MONTFLEURY MONTFLEURY is waiting in terror] is waiting in terror] As I was saying, it is my wish to see the stage cured of this tumor. Otherwise ... As I was saying, it is my wish to see the stage cured of this tumor. Otherwise ... [Claps hand to his sword.] [Claps hand to his sword.] the lancet! the lancet!

MONTFLEURY I...

CYRANO [gets down from his chair, and sits in the s.p.a.ce that has become vacant around him, with the ease of one at home] [gets down from his chair, and sits in the s.p.a.ce that has become vacant around him, with the ease of one at home] Thrice will I clap my . hands, O plenilune! Thrice will I clap my . hands, O plenilune!18 At the third clap ... eclipse! At the third clap ... eclipse!

THE PIT [diverted] [diverted] Ah! ... Ah! ...

CYRANO [clapping his hands] [clapping his hands] One! ... One! ...

MONTFLEURY I...

A VOICE [from one of the boxes] [from one of the boxes] Do not go! ... Do not go! ...

THE PIT He will stay! ... He will go! ...

MONTFLEURY Messieurs, I feel ...

CYRANO Two! ...

MONTFLEURY I feel it will perhaps be wiser ...

CYRANO Three! ...

[MONTFLEURY disappears, as if through a trap-door. Storm of laughter, hissing, catcalls.]

THE HOUSE Hoo! ... Hoo! ... Milk-sop! : .. Come back! ... CYRANO [beaming, leans back in his chair and crosses his legs] [beaming, leans back in his chair and crosses his legs] Let him come back, if he dare! Let him come back, if he dare!

A BURGHER The spokesman of the company!

[BELLEROSE comes forward on the stage and bows]

THE BOXES Ah, there comes Bellerose!

BELLEROSE [with elegant bearing and diction] [with elegant bearing and diction] n.o.ble ladies and gentlemen ... n.o.ble ladies and gentlemen ...

THE PIT No! No! Jodelet! ... We want Jodelet! ...

JODELET [comes forward, speaks through his nose] [comes forward, speaks through his nose] Pack of swine! THE PIT That is right! ... Well said! ... Bravo! Pack of swine! THE PIT That is right! ... Well said! ... Bravo!

JODELET Don't bravo me! ... The portly tragedian, whose paunch is your delight, felt sick! ...

THE PIT He is a poltroon! ...

JODELET He was obliged to leave ...

THE PIT Let him come back!

SOME No!

OTHERS Yes! ...

AYOUTH [to [to CYRANO] But, when all is said, monsieur, what good grounds have you for hating Montfleury? CYRANO] But, when all is said, monsieur, what good grounds have you for hating Montfleury?

CYRANO [amiably, sitting as before] [amiably, sitting as before] Young gosling, I have two, whereof each, singly, would be ample. Primo: He is an execrable actor, who bellows, and with grunts that would disgrace a water-carrier launches the verse that should go forth as if on pinions ! ... Secundo: is my secret. Young gosling, I have two, whereof each, singly, would be ample. Primo: He is an execrable actor, who bellows, and with grunts that would disgrace a water-carrier launches the verse that should go forth as if on pinions ! ... Secundo: is my secret.

THE OLD BURGHER [behind [behind CYRANO] But without compunction you deprive us of hearing La Clorise. I am determined ... CYRANO] But without compunction you deprive us of hearing La Clorise. I am determined ...

CYRANO [turning his chair around so as to face the old gentleman; respectfully] [turning his chair around so as to face the old gentleman; respectfully] Venerable mule, old Baro's verses being what they are, I do it without compunction, as you say. Venerable mule, old Baro's verses being what they are, I do it without compunction, as you say.

THE PRECIEUSES [in the boxes] Ha! ... Ho! ... Our own Baro! ... My dear, did you hear that? How can such a thing be said? ... Ha! ... Ho! ...

CYRANO [turning his chair so as to face the boxes; gallantly] [turning his chair so as to face the boxes; gallantly] Beautiful creatures, do you bloom and s.h.i.+ne, be ministers of dreams, your smiles our anodyne. Inspire poets, but poems ... spare to judge! Beautiful creatures, do you bloom and s.h.i.+ne, be ministers of dreams, your smiles our anodyne. Inspire poets, but poems ... spare to judge!

BELLEROSE But the money which must be given back at the door!

CYRANO [turning his chair to face the stage] [turning his chair to face the stage] Bellerose, you have said the only intelligent thing that has, as yet, been said! Far from me to wrong by so much as a fringe the wors.h.i.+pful mantle of Thespis.... [ Bellerose, you have said the only intelligent thing that has, as yet, been said! Far from me to wrong by so much as a fringe the wors.h.i.+pful mantle of Thespis.... [He rises and flings a bag upon the stage.] Catch! ... and keep quiet!

THE HOUSE [dazzled] [dazzled] Ah! ... Oh! ... Ah! ... Oh! ...