Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 43

BAUER. They've made me out guilty. The judge fined me. Fined me, Miene!

How is that? Can a man stand for that? The woman said I told her myself--right out--that I did it.

MRS. BAUER. The woman that had you--[_he winces as she hesitates_] took?

BAUER. d.a.m.ned----

MRS. BAUER. [_Putting her hand over his mouth._] Hush, Fritz.

BAUER. Why will I hush, Miene? She said I was proud of the job.

[_Pa.s.sionately raising his voice._] The d.a.m.ned interferin'----

MRS. BAUER. Don't holler, Fritz. It's your hollerin' that's made all this trouble.

BAUER. [_Penetrated by her words more and more._] My hollerin'!....

[The telephone rings; she answers it.

MRS. BAUER. Yes, Mrs. Mohler, he's come in now.--Yes.--Won't after dinner do?--All right.--Thank you, Mrs. Mohler. [_She hangs up the receiver._] Mrs. Mohler wants you to fix her sink right after dinner.

BAUER. I'm not goin' to do any more fixin' around here.

MRS. BAUER. You hold on to yourself, Fritz; that's no way to talk; Mrs.

Mohler's a nice woman.

BAUER. I don't want to see no more nice women. [_After a pause._]

Hollerin'!--that's what's the matter with me--hollerin', eh? Well, I've took it all out in hollerin'.

MRS. BAUER. They hear you and they think you've got no feelings.

BAUER. [_In utter amazement at the irony of the situation._] And I was goin' after the d.a.m.ned cat to take care of it.

MRS. BAUER. Why didn't you tell the judge all about it?

BAUER. They got me rattled among them. The lady was so soft and pleasant--"He must be made to understand, your honor," she said to the judge, "that dumb animals has feelin's, too, just as well as human beings"--_Me_, Miene--made to understand that! I couldn't say nothin'.

My voice just stuck in my throat.

MRS. BAUER. What's the matter with you! You oughta spoke up and told the judge just how it all happened.

BAUER. I said to myself; I'll go home and put a bullet through my head--that's the best thing for me now.

MRS. BAUER. [_With impatient unbelief._] Ach, Fritz, Fritz!

[_Clatter of feet._

CHORUS OF VOICES. [_At the outer door._] Who killed the cat! Who killed the cat!

[BAUER _jumps up, pale and shaken with strange rage; she pushes him gently back into his chair, opens the door, steps out for a moment, then comes in and leaves the door open behind her_.

BAUER. You see?... Even the kids ... I'm disgraced all over the place.

MRS. BAUER. So long as you didn't hurt the cat----

BAUER. What's the difference? Everybody believes it.

MRS. BAUER. No, they don't, Fritz.

BAUER. You can't fool me, Miene. I see it in their eyes. They looked away from me when I was comin' 'round the corner. Some of them kinder smiled like--[_pa.s.ses his hand over his head_]. Even the cop says to me on the way over, yesterday: "Don't you put your foot in it any more'n you have to." You see? He thought I did it all right. Everybody believes it.

MRS. BAUER. [_Putting towels away._] Well, then _let_ them believe it.... The agent don't believe it.

BAUER. I dunno. He'da paid my fine anyhow.

MRS. BAUER. He gave you a good name.

BAUER. [_With indignant derision._] He gave me a good name!... Haven't I always kept this place all right since we been here? Afterward he said to me: "I'm surprised at this business, Bauer, very much surprised."

That shows what he thinks. I told him it ain't true, I didn't mean to hurt it. I saw by his eyes he didn't believe me.

MRS. BAUER. Well, don't you worry any more now.

BAUER. [_To himself._] Hollerin'!

MRS. BAUER. [_Shuts the door._] Well, now, holler a little if it does you good.

BAUER. Nothin's goin' to do me good.

MRS. BAUER. You just put it out of your mind. [_The telephone rings. She answers it._] Yes, but he can't come now, Mrs. McAllister. He'll be up this afternoon.

[_She hangs up the receiver._

BAUER. And I ain't goin' this afternoon--nowhere.

MRS. BAUER. It's Mrs. McAllister. Somethin's wrong with her refrigerator--the water won't run off, she says.

BAUER. They can clean out their own drain-pipes.

MRS. BAUER. You go to work and get your mind off this here business.

BAUER. [_Staring straight ahead of him._] I ain't goin' 'round among the people in this house ... to have them lookin' at me ... disgraced like this.

MRS. BAUER. You want to hold up your head and act as if nothin's happened.

BAUER. n.o.body spoke to me at the dumb-waiter when I took off the garbage and paper this morning. Mrs. Mohler always says something pleasant.

MRS. BAUER. You just think that because you're all upset. [_The telephone rings; she goes to it and listens._] Yes, ma'am, I'll see.

Fritz, have you any fine wire? Mrs. McAllister thinks she might try and fix the drain with it--till you come up.

BAUER. I got no wire.

MRS. BAUER. Mr. Bauer'll fix it--right after dinner, Mrs. McAllister.