The Humorous Poetry of the English Language; from Chaucer to Saxe Part 73

BEIGNET DE POMME.

AIR--"Home, Sweet Home."

'Mid fritters and lollipops though we may roam, On the whole, there is nothing like Beignet de Pomme.

Of flour a pound, with a gla.s.s of milk share, And a half pound of b.u.t.ter the mixture will bear.

Pomme! Pomme! Beignet de Pomme!

Of Beignets there's none like the Beignet de Pomme!

A Beignet de Pomme, you will work at in vain, If you stir not the mixture again and again; Some beer, just to thin it, may into it fall; Stir up that, with three whites of eggs, added to all.

Pomme! Pomme! Beignet de Pomme!

Of Beignets there's none like the Beignet de Pomme!

Six apples, when peeled, you must carefully slice, And cut out the cores--if you 'll take my advice; Then dip them in batter, and fry till they foam, And you'll have in six minutes your Beignet de Pomme.

Pomme! Pomme! Beignet de Pomme!

Of Beignets there's none like the Beignet de Pomme!

CHERRY PIE.

AIR--"Cherry Ripe."

Cherry Pie! Cherry Pie! Pie! I cry, Kentish cherries you may buy.

If so be you ask me where To put the fruit, I'll answer "There!"

In the dish your fruit must lie, When you make your Cherry Pie.

Cherry Pie! Cherry Pie! etc.

Cherry Pie! Cherry Pie! Pie! I cry, Full and fair ones mind you buy Whereabouts the crust should go, Any fool, of course will know; In the midst a cup may lie, When you make your Cherry Pie.

Cherry Pie! Cherry Pie! etc.

DEVILED BISCUIT.

AIR--"A Temple of Friends.h.i.+p."

"A nice Devil'd Biscuit," said JENKINS enchanted, "I'll have after dinner--the thought is divine!"

The biscuit was bought, and he now only wanted-- To fully enjoy it--a gla.s.s of good wine.

He flew to the pepper, and sat down before it, And at peppering the well-b.u.t.ter'd biscuit he went; Then, some cheese in a paste mix'd with mustard spread o'er it And down to be grill'd to the kitchen 'twas sent.

"Oh! how," said the Cook, "can I this think of grilling, When common the pepper? the whole will be flat.

But here's the Cayenne; if my master is willing, I'll make, if he pleases, a devil with that."

So the Footman ran up with the Cook's observation To JENKINS, who gave him a terrible look: "Oh, go to the devil!" forgetting his station, Was the answer that JENKINS sent down to the Cook.

RED HERRINGS.

AIR--"Meet Me By Moonlight."

Meet me at breakfast alone, And then I will give you a dish Which really deserves to be known, Though it's not the genteelest of fish.

You must promise to come, for I said A splendid Red Herring I'd buy-- Nay, turn not away your proud head; You'll like it, I know, when you try.

If moisture the Herring betray, Drain, till from moisture 'tis free; Warm it through in the usual way, Then serve it for you and for me.

A piece of cold b.u.t.ter prepare, To rub it when ready it lies; Egg-sauce and potatoes don't spare, And the flavor will cause you surprise

IRISH STEW.

AIR--"Happy Land."

Irish stew, Irish stew!

Whatever else my dinner be, Once again, once again, I'd have a dish of thee.

Mutton chops, and onion slice, Let the water cover, With potatoes, fresh and nice; Boil, but not quite over, Irish stew, Irish stew!

Ne'er from thee, my taste will stray.

I could eat Such a treat Nearly every day.

La, la, la, la!

BARLEY BROTH.

Air--"The King, G.o.d bless him!"

A basin of Barley Broth make, make for me; Give those who prefer it, the plain: No matter the broth, so of barley it be, If we ne'er taste a basin again.

For, oh I when three pounds of good mutton you buy, And of most of its fat dispossess it, In a stewpan uncover'd, at first, let it lie; Then in water proceed to dress it.

Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah!

In a stewpan uncover'd, at first, let it lie; Then in water proceed to dress it.

What a teacup will hold--you should first have been told-- Of barley you gently should boil; The pearl-barley choose--'tis the nicest that's sold-- All others the mixture might spoil.

Of carrots and turnips, small onions, green peas (If the price of the last don't distress one), Mix plenty; and boil altogether with these Your basin of Broth when you dress one.

Hurrah! hurrah! hurrah!

Two hours together the articles boil; There's your basin of Broth, if you'd dress one.

CALF'S HEART.

Air--"Maid of Athens, ere we part."

Maid of all work, as a part Of my dinner, cook a heart; Or, since such a dish is best, Give me that, and leave the rest.

Take my orders, ere I go; Heart of calf we'll cook thee so.

Buy--to price you're not confined-- Such a heart as suits your mind: Buy some suet--and enough Of the herbs required to stuff; Buy some le non-peel--and, oh!

Heart of calf, we'll fill thee so.

Buy some onions--just a taste-- Buy enough, but not to waste; Buy two eggs of slender sh.e.l.l Mix, and stir the mixture well; Crumbs of bread among it throw; Heart of calf we'll roast thee so.

Maid of all work, when 'tis done, Serve it up to me alone: Rich brown gravy round it roll, Marred by no intruding coal; Currant jelly add--and lo!

Heart of calf, I'll eat thee so.

THE CHRISTMAS PUDDING.

AIR--"Jeannette and Jeannott."

If you wish to make a pudding in which every one delights, Of a dozen new-laid eggs you must take the yolks and whites; Beat them well up in a basin till they thoroughly combine, And shred and chop some suet particularly fine;

Take a pound of well-stoned raisins, and a pound of currants dried, A pound of pounded sugar, and a pound of peel beside; Stir them all well up together with a pound of wheaten flour, And let them stand and settle for a quarter of an hour;

Then tie the pudding in a cloth, and put it in the pot,-- Some people like the water cold, and some prefer it hot; But though I don't know which of these two methods I should praise, I know it ought to boil an hour for every pound it weighs.