Flowers from a Persian Garden and Other Papers Part 22

_Mollificant olera durissima crusta._--"Friends, this is to say to your ignorant understanding, that hot plants and hard crusts make soft hard plants. The help and the grace of the gray goose that goes on the green, and the wisdom of the water wind-mill, with the good grace of a gallon pitcher, and all the salt sausages that be sodden in Norfolk upon Sat.u.r.day, be with us now at our beginning, and help us in our ending, and quit you of bliss and both your eyes, that never shall have ending.

Amen. My dear curst creatures, there was once a wife whose name was Catherine Fyste, and she was crafty in court, and well could carve.

Hence she sent after the four Synods of Rome to know why, wherefore, and for what cause that Alleluja was closed before the cup came once round.

Why, believest thou not, forsooth, that there stood once a c.o.c.k on St.

Paul's steeple-top, and drew up the strapples of his breech? How provest thou that tale? By all the four doctors of Wynberryhills--that is to say, Vertas, Gadatryne, Trumpas, and Dadyltrymsert--the which four doctors say there was once an old wife had a c.o.c.k to her son, and he looked out of an old dove-cot, and warned and charged that no man should be so hardy either to ride or go on St. Paul's steeple-top unless he rode on a three-footed stool, or else that he brought with him a warrant of his neck"--and so on, in this fantastical style.

The meaning of the phrase "benefit of clergy" is not perhaps very generally understood. The phrase had its origin in those days of intellectual darkness, when the state of letters was so low that anyone found guilty in a court of justice of a crime which was punishable with death, if he could prove himself able to read a verse in a Latin Bible he was pardoned, as being a man of learning, and therefore likely to be useful to the state; but if he could not read he was sure to be hanged.

This privilege, it is said, was granted to all offences, excepting high treason and sacrilege, till after the year 1350. At first it was extended not only to the clergy but to any person that could read, who, however, had to vow that he would enter into holy orders; but with the increase of learning this "benefit to clergy" was restricted by several Acts of Parliament, and it was finally abolished only so late as the reign of George IV.

In _Pasquils Jests and Mother Bunches Merriments_, a book of _facetiae_ very popular in the 16th century, a story is told of a criminal at the Oxford a.s.sizes who "prayed his clergy," and a Bible was accordingly handed to him that he might read a verse. He could not read a word, however, which a scholar who chanced to be present observing, he stood behind him and prompted him with the verse he was to read; but coming towards the end, the man's thumb happened to cover the remaining words, and so the scholar, in a low voice, said: "Take away thy thumb," which words the man, supposing them to form part of the verse he was reading, repeated aloud, "Take away thy thumb"--whereupon the judge ordered him to be taken away and hanged. And in Taylor's _Wit and Mirth_ (1630): "A fellow having his book [that is, having read a verse in the Bible] at the sessions, was burnt in the hand, and was commanded to say: 'May G.o.d save the King.' 'The King!' said he, 'G.o.d save my grandam, that taught me to read; I am sure I had been hanged else.'"

The verse in the Bible which a criminal was required to read, in order to ent.i.tle him to the "benefit of clergy" (the beginning of the 51st Psalm, "Miserere mei"), was called the "neck-verse," because his doing so saved his neck from the gallows. It is sometimes jestingly alluded to in old plays. For example, in Ma.s.singer's _Great Duke of Florence_, Act iii, sc. 1:

_Cataminta_.--How the fool stares!

_Fiorinda_.--And looks as if he were conning his neck-verse;

and in the same dramatist's play of _The Picture_:

Tw.a.n.g it perfectly, As if it were your neck-verse.

In the anonymous _Pleasant Comedy of Patient Grissell_ (1603), Act ii, sc. 1, we find this custom again referred to:

_Farnese_.--Ha, hah! Emulo not write and read?

_Rice_.--Not a letter, an you would hang him.

_Urcenze_.--Then he'll never be saved by his book.

In Scott's _Lay of the Last Minstrel_, the moss-trooper, William of Deloraine, a.s.sures the lady, who had warned him not to look into what he should receive from the Monk of St. Mary's Aisle, "be it scroll or be it book," that

"Letter nor line know I never a one, Were't my neck-verse at Haribee"--

the place where such Border rascals were usually executed.

It was formerly the custom to sing a psalm at the gallows before a criminal was "turned off." And there is a good story, in Zachary Gray's notes to _Hudibras_, told of one of the chaplains of the famous Montrose; how, being condemned in Scotland to die for attending his master in some of his expeditions, and being upon the ladder and ordered to select a psalm to be sung, expecting a reprieve, he named the 119th Psalm, with which the officer attending the execution complied (the Scottish Presbyterians were great psalm-singers in those days), and it was well for him he did so, for they had sung it half through before the reprieve came. Any other psalm would certainly have hanged him! Cotton, in his _Virgil Travestie_, thus alludes to the custom of psalm-singing at the foot of the gallows:

Ready, when Dido gave the word, To be advanced into the halter, Without the benefit on's Psalter.

Then 'cause she would, to part the sweeter, A portion have of Hopkins' metre, As people use at execution, For the decorum of conclusion, Being too sad to sing, she says.[157]

[157] _Scarronides; or, Virgil Travestie_, etc., by Charles Cotton, Book iv. _Poetical Works_, 5th edition, London, 1765, pp. 122, 140.

If the clergy in medieval times had, as they are said to have had, all the learning among themselves, what a blessed state of ignorance must the laity have been in! And so, indeed, it appears, for there is extant an old Act of Parliament which provides that a n.o.bleman shall be ent.i.tled to the "benefit of clergy," even though he could not read. And another law sets forth that "the command of the sheriff to his officer by word of mouth, and without writing is good; for it may be that neither the sheriff nor his officer can write or read!" Many charters are preserved to which persons of great dignity, even kings, have affixed the sign of the cross, because they were not able to write their names, and hence the term of _signing_, instead of subscribing. In this respect a ten-year-old Board School boy in these "double-distilled" days is vastly superior to the most renowned of the "barons bold."

THE BEARDS OF OUR FATHERS.

'Tis merry in the hall when beards wag all.--_Old Song_.

Among the harmless foibles of adolescence which contribute to the quiet amus.e.m.e.nt of folks of mature years is the eager desire of youths to have their smooth faces adorned with that "n.o.ble" distinction of manhood--a beard. And no wonder. For, should a clever lad, getting out of his "teens," venture to express opinions contrary to those of his elders present, is he not at once snubbed by being called "a beardless boy"? A boy! Bitter taunt! He very naturally feels that he is grossly insulted, and all because his "dimpled chin never has known the barber's shear."

Full well does our ingenuous youth know that a man is not wise in consequence of his beard--that, as the Orientals say of women's long hair, it often happens that men with long beards have short wits; nevertheless, had he but a beard himself, he should then be free from such a wretched "argument"--such an implied accusation of his lack of wit, as that he is beardless. The young Roman watched the first appearance of the downy precursor of his beard with no little solicitude, and applied the household oil to his face--there were no patent specifics in those days for "infallibly producing luxuriant whiskers and moustaches in a few weeks"--to promote its tardy growth, and ent.i.tle him, from the incipient fringe, to be styled "barbatulus."

When his beard was full-grown he was called "barbatus."

It would seem that the beard was held in the highest esteem, especially in Asiatic countries, from the earliest period of which any records have been preserved. The Hebrew priests are commanded in the Book of Leviticus, ch. xix, not to shave off the corners of their beards; and the first High Priest, Aaron, probably wore a magnificent beard, since the amicable relations between brethren are compared, in the 133rd Psalm, to "the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard; that went down to the skirts of his garments." The a.s.syrian kings intertwined gold thread with their fine beards--and, judging from mural sculptures, curling tongs must have been in considerable demand with them. In ancient Greece the beard was universally worn, and it is related of Zoilus, the founder of the anti-Homeric school, that he shaved the crown of his head, in order that all the virtue should go to the nourishment of his beard. Persius could not think of a more complimentary epithet to apply to Socrates than that of "Magistrum Barbatum," or Bearded Master--the notion being that the beard was the symbol of profound sagacity.[158] Alexander the Great, however, caused his soldiers to shave off their beards, because they furnished their enemies with handles whereby to seize hold of them in battle. The beard was often consecrated to the deities, as the most precious offering. Chaucer, in his _Knight's Tale_, represents Arcite as offering his beard to Mars:

And evermore, unto that day I dye, Eterne fyr I wol bifore the fynde, And eek to this avow I wol me bynde, My berd, myn heer, that hangeth long a doun, That neuer yit ne felt offensioun Of rasour ne of schere, I wol ye giue, And be thy trewe seruaunt whiles I lyue.[159]

[158] The notion that a beard indicated wisdom on the part of the wearer is often referred to in early European literature. For example, in Lib. v of Caxton's Esop, the Fox, to induce the sick King Lion to kill the Wolf, says he has travelled far and wide, seeking a good medicine for his Majesty, and "certaynly I have found no better counceylle than the counceylle of an auncyent Greke, with a grete and long berd, a man of grete wysdom, sage, and worthy to be praysed." And when the Fox, in another fable, leaves the too-credulous Goat in the well, Reynard adds insult to injury by saying to him, "O maystre goote, yf thow haddest be [i.e. been] wel wyse, with thy fayre berde," and so forth. (Pp. 153 and 196 of Mr. Jacobs' new edition.)--A story is told of a close-shaven French amba.s.sador to the court of some Eastern potentate, that on presenting his credentials his Majesty made sneering remarks on his smooth face (doubtless he was himself "bearded to the eyes"), to which the envoy boldly replied: "Sire, had my master supposed that you esteem a beard so highly, instead of me, he would have sent your Majesty a goat as his amba.s.sador."

[159] Harleian MS. No. 7334, lines 2412-2418. Printed for the Early English Text Society.

Selim I was the first Turkish sultan who shaved his beard after his accession to the throne; and when his muftis remonstrated with him for this _dangerous_ innovation, he facetiously replied that he had removed his beard in order that his vazirs should not have wherewith to _lead_ him. The beards of modern Persian soldiers were abolished in consequence of a singular accident, which Morier thus relates in his _Second Journey_: When European discipline was introduced into the Persian army, Lieutenant Lindsay raised a corps of artillery. His zeal was only equalled by the encouragement of the king, who liberally adopted every method proposed. It was only upon the article of shaving off the beards of the Persian soldiers that the king was inexorable; nor would the sacrifice have ever taken place had it not happened that, in discharging the guns before the prince, a powder-horn exploded in the hand of a gunner who had been gifted with a very long beard, which in an instant was blown away from his chin. Lieutenant Lindsay, availing himself of this lucky opportunity to prove his argument on the inconvenience of beards to soldiers, immediately produced the scorched gunner before the prince, who was so much struck with his woeful appearance that the abolition of military beards was at once decided upon.

It was customary for the early French monarchs to place three hairs of their beard under the seal attached to important doc.u.ments; and there is still extant a charter of the year 1121, which concludes with these words: "Quod ut ratum et stabile perseveret in posterum, praesentis scripto sigilli mei robur apposui c.u.m tribus pilis barbae meae."--In obedience to his spiritual advisers, Louis VII of France had his hair cut close and his beard shaved off. But his consort Eleanor was so disgusted with his smooth face and cropped head that she took her own measures to be revenged, and the poor king was compelled to obtain a divorce from her. She subsequently gave her hand to the Count of Anjou, afterwards Henry II of England, and the rich provinces of Poitou and Guienne were her dowry. From this sprang those terrible wars which continued for three centuries, and cost France untold treasure and three millions of men--and all because Louis did not consult his consort before shaving off his beard!

Charles the Fifth of Spain ascending the throne while yet a mere boy, his courtiers shaved their beards in compliment to the king's smooth face. But some of the shaven Dons were wont to say bitterly, "Since we have lost our beards, we have lost our souls!" Sully, the eminent statesman and soldier, scorned, however, to follow the fas.h.i.+on, and, being one day summoned to Court on urgent business of State, his beard was made the subject of ridicule by the foppish courtiers. The veteran thus gravely addressed the king: "Sire, when your father, of glorious memory, did me the honour to consult me in grave State matters, he first dismissed the buffoons and stage-dancers from the presence-chamber." It may be readily supposed that after this well-merited rebuke the grinning courtiers at once disappeared.

Julius II, one of the most warlike of all the Roman Pontiffs, was the first Pope who permitted his beard to grow, to inspire the faithful with still greater respect for his august person. Kings and their courtiers were not slow to follow the example of the Head of the Church and the ruler of kings, and the fas.h.i.+on soon spread among people of all ranks.

So highly prized was the beard in former times that Baldwin, Prince of Edessa, as Nicephorus relates in his Chronicle, p.a.w.ned his beard for a large sum of money, which was redeemed by his father Gabriel, Prince of Melitene, to prevent the ignominy which his son must have suffered by its loss. And when Juan de Castro, the Portuguese admiral, borrowed a thousand pistoles from the citizens of Goa he pledged one of his whiskers, saying, "All the gold in the world cannot equal this natural ornament of my valour." And it is said the people of Goa were so much affected by the n.o.ble message that they remitted the money and returned the whisker--though of what earthly use it could prove to the gallant admiral, unless, perhaps, to stuff a tennis ball, it is not easy to say.

To deprive a man of his beard was a token of ignominious subjection, and is still a common mode of punishment in some Asiatic countries. And such was the treatment that the conjuror Pinch received at the hands of Antipholus of Ephesus and his man, in the _Comedy of Errors_, according to the servant's account of the outrage, who states that not only had they "beaten the maids a-row," but they

bound the doctor, Whose beard they have singed off with brands of fire; And ever as it blazed they threw on him Great pails of puddled mire to quench the hair (v, 1).

In Persia and India when a wife is found to have been unfaithful, her hair--the distinguis.h.i.+ng ornament of woman, as the beard is considered to be that of man--is shaved off, among other indignities.

Don Sebastian Cobbarruvius gravely relates the following marvellous legend to show that nothing so much disgraced a Spaniard as pulling his beard: "A n.o.ble of that nation dying (his name Cid Lai Dios), a Jew, who hated him much in his lifetime, stole privately into the room where his body was laid out, and, thinking to do what he never durst while living, stooped down and plucked his beard; at which the body started up, and drawing out half way his sword, which lay beside him, put the Jew in such a fright that he ran out of the room as if a thousand devils had been behind him. This done, the body lay down as before to rest; and,"

adds the veracious chronicler, "the Jew after that turned Christian."--In the third of Don Quevedo's Visions of the Last Judgment, we read that a Spaniard, after receiving sentence, was taken into custody by a pair of demons who happened to disorder the set of his moustache, and they had to re-compose them with a pair of curling-tongs before they could get him to proceed with them!

By the rules of the Church of Rome, lay monks were compelled to wear their beards, and only the priests were permitted to shave.[160] The clergy at length became so corrupt and immoral, and lived such scandalous lives, that they could not be distinguished from the laity except by their close-shaven faces. The first Reformers, therefore, to mark their separation from the Romish Church, allowed their beards to grow. Calvin, Fox, Cranmer, and other leaders of the Reformation are all represented in their portraits with long flowing beards. John Knox, the great Scottish Reformer, wore, as is well known, a beard of prodigious length.

[160] In a scarce old poem, ent.i.tled, _The Pilgrymage and the Wayes of Jerusalem_, we read:

The thyrd Seyte beyn prestis of oure lawe, That synge ma.s.se at the Sepulcore; At the same grave there oure lorde laye, They synge the leteny every daye.

In oure manner is her [i.e. their] songe, Saffe, here [i.e. their] _berdys be ryght longe_, That is the geyse of that contre, _The lenger the berde the bettyr is he_; The order of hem [i.e. them] be barfote freeres.

The ancient Britons shaved the chin and cheeks, but wore their moustaches down to the breast. Our Saxon ancestors wore forked beards.

The Normans at the Conquest shaved not only the chin, but also the back of the head. But they soon began to grow very long beards. During the Wars of the Roses beards grew "small by degrees and beautifully less."

Queen Mary of England, in the year 1555, sent to Moscow four accredited agents, who were all bearded; but one of them, George Killingworth, was particularly distinguished by a beard five feet two inches long, at the sight of which, it is said, a smile crossed the grim features of Ivan the Terrible himself; and no wonder. But the longest beard known out of fairy tales was that of Johann Mayo, the German painter, commonly called "John the Bearded." His beard actually trailed on the ground when he stood upright, and for convenience he usually kept it tucked in his girdle. The emperor Charles V, it is said, was often pleased to cause Mayo to unfasten his beard and allow it to blow in the faces of his courtiers.--A worthy clergyman in the time of Queen Elizabeth gave as the best reason he had for wearing a beard of enormous length, "that no act of his life might be unworthy of the gravity of his appearance."