Wanderers Part 40

"Ugh! I had too much to drink up there, I think. Can't talk straight now."

He could think of nothing but the letter, and went on about it again:

"For there was no need to have all that mystery about a letter from home. No; I see it all now. Want to go in, you say? Well then, go in, Fru, by all means. _G.o.dnat, Frue_. My dutiful respects, as from a son."

He bowed, and stood watching her with a sneering smile.

"A son? Oh yes," she replied, with sudden emotion. "I am old, yes. And you are so young, Hugo, that's true. And that's why I kissed you. But I couldn't be your mother--no, it's only that I'm older, ever so much older than you. But I'm not quite an old woman yet, and that you should see if only . . . But I'm older than Elisabet and every one else. Oh, what am I talking about? Not a bit of it. I don't know what else the years may have done to me, but they haven't made me an old woman yet.

Have they? What do you think yourself? Oh, but what do you know about it? . . ."

"No, no," he said softly. "But is there any sense in going on like this?

Here are you, young as you are, with nothing on earth to do all the time but keep guard over yourself and get others to do the same. And the Lord in heaven knows you promised me a thing, but it means so little to you; you take a pleasure in putting me off and beating me down with your great white wings."

"Great white wings," she murmured to herself.

"Yes, you might have great red wings. Look at yourself now, standing there all lovely as you are, and all for nothing."

"Oh, I think the wine has gone to my head! All for nothing, indeed!"

Then suddenly she takes his hand and leads him down the steps. I can hear her voice: "Why should I care? Does he imagine Elisabet's so much better?"

They pa.s.s along the path to the summer-house. Here she hesitates, and stops.

"Oh, where are we going?" she asks. "Haha, we must be mad! You wouldn't have thought I was mad, would you? I'm not, either--that is to say, yes, I am, now and again. There, the door's locked; very well, we'll go away again. But what a mean trick to lock the door, when we want to go in."

Full of bitterness and suspicion, he answered:

"Now, you're cheating again. You knew well enough the door was locked."

"Oh, must you always think the worst of me? But why should he lock the door so carefully and have the place all to himself? Yes, I _did_ know it was locked, and that's why I came with you. I dare not. No, Hugo, I won't, I mean it. Oh, are you mad? Come back!"

She took his hand again and tried to turn back; they stood struggling a little, for he would not follow. Then in his pa.s.sion and strength he threw both arms round her and kissed her again and again. And she weakened ever more and more, speaking brokenly between the kisses:

"I've never kissed any other man before--never! It's true--I swear it.

I've never kissed...."

"No, no, no," he answers impatiently, drawing her step by step the way he will.

Outside the summer-house he looses his hold of her a moment, flings himself, one shoulder forward, heavily against the door, and breaks it open for the second time. Then in one stride he is beside her once more.

Neither speaks.

But even at the door, she checks again--stands clinging to the door-post, and will not move.

"No, no, I've never been unfaithful to him yet. I won't; I've never--never...."

He draws her to him suddenly, kisses her a full minute, two minutes, a deep, unbroken kiss; she leans back from the waist, her hand slips where it holds, and she gives way....

A white mist gathers before my eyes. So ... they have come to it now.

Now he takes her, has his will and joy of her....

A melancholy weariness and rest comes over me. I feel miserable and alone. It is late; my heart has had its day....

Through the white mist comes a leaping figure; it is Ragnhild coming up from among the bushes, running with her tongue thrust out.

The engineer came up to me, nodded _G.o.dmorgen_, and asked me to mend the summer-house door.

"Is it broken again?"

"Yes, it got broken last night."

It was early for him to be about--no more than halfpast four; we farm-hands had not yet started for the fields. His eyes showed small and glittering, as if they burned; likely enough he had not slept all night.

But he said nothing as to how the door had got broken.

Not for any thought of him, but for Captain Falkenberg's sake, I went down at once to the summer-house and mended the door once again. No need for such haste, maybe; the Captain had a long drive there and back, but it was close on twenty-four hours now since he started.

The engineer came down with me. Without in the least perceiving how it came about, I found myself thinking well of him; he had broken open that door last night--quite so, but he was not the man to sneak out of it after. He and no one other it was who had it mended. Eh, well, perhaps after all 'twas only my vanity was pleased. I felt flattered at his trusting to my silence. That was it. That was how I came to think well of him.

"I'm in charge of some timber-rafting on the rivers," he said. "How long are you staying here?"

"Not for long. Till the field-work's over for the season."

"I could give you work if you'd care about it."

Now this was work I knew nothing of, and, what was more, I liked to be among field and forest, not with lumbermen and proletariat. However, I thanked him for the offer.

"Very good of you to come and put this right. As a matter of fact, I broke it open looking for a gun. I wanted to shoot something, and I thought there might be a gun in there."

I made no answer; it would have pleased me better if he had said nothing.

"So I thought I'd ask you before you started out to work," he said, to finish off.

I put the lock right and set it in its place again, and began nailing up the woodwork, which was shattered as before. While I was busy with this, we heard Captain Falkenberg's voice; through the bushes we could see him unharnessing the horses and leading them in.

The engineer gave a start; he fumbled for his watch, and got it out, but his eyes had grown all big and empty--they could see nothing. Suddenly he said:

"Oh, I forgot, I must . . ."

And he hurried off far down the garden.

"So he's going to sneak out of it, after all," I thought to myself.

A moment later the Captain himself came down. He was pale, and covered with dust, and plainly had not slept, but perfectly sober. He called to me from a distance:

"Hei! how did you get in there?"

I touched my cap, but said nothing.