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As soon as Madeline had gone Bertha went and looked steadily and seriously in the gla.s.s, for some considerable time. She thought on the whole that it was true that she was looking pretty: on this subject she was perfectly calm, cool and unbia.s.sed, as if judging the appearance of a stranger. For, though she naturally liked to be admired, as all women do, she was entirely without that fluffy sort of vanity, that weak conceit, so indulgent to itself, that makes nearly all pretty women incapable of perceiving when they are beginning to go off, or unwilling to own it to themselves.
The one person for whose admiration and interest she cared for more and more, her Percy, she fancied was growing rather cooler. This crumpled rose-leaf distressed her extremely.
At this moment he arrived home. She heard his voice and his step, and waited for him to come up, with an increasing vividness of colour and expression, with a look of excited animation, that in so sophisticated a woman was certainly, after ten years, a remarkable tribute to a husband.
Percy, who was never very quick, was this evening much longer coming upstairs than usual. He was looking at the letters in the hall. With his long, legal-looking, handsome face, his even features, his fine figure and his expression of mild self-control, and the large, high brow, he had a certain look of importance. He appeared to have more personality then he really had. His manner was impressive, even when one knew--as Bertha certainly did--that he was the mildest, the most amiable and good-natured of serious barristers.
With one of those impulses that are almost impossible to account for, Percy took one of the letters up before the others. It was directed in type. He half opened it, then put it in his pocket. He felt anxious to read it; for some quite inexplicable reason he felt there was something about it momentous, and of interest. It was not a circular, or a bill.
It made him feel uncomfortable. After waiting a moment he opened it and read part of it. Then he replaced it in his pocket, and ran up to his room, taking the other unopened letters with him.
"Percy!" called Bertha, as he pa.s.sed the drawing-room.
"I shall be down in a few minutes," he called out.
He went upstairs and shut himself into his room.
She also felt unaccountably uncomfortable and anxious, as if something had happened, or was going to happen. Why was Percy so long?
When he came down at last she gave him his tea and a cigarette and noticed, or perhaps imagined, that he looked different from usual. He was pale. Yes, he was distinctly a little pale. Poor Percy!
Instead of telling him he was not looking very well, and asking him what was the matter, complaining that he had not taken any notice of her, or behaving otherwise idiotically, after the usual fas.h.i.+on of affectionate wives, she remained silent, and waited till he seemed more as usual.
Then he said: "Has anyone been here to-day?"
"No one but Madeline. She's only just gone."
"Oh yes--been out at all?"
"I went out this morning for a little while."
He seemed absent.
"You enjoyed yourself last night, didn't you?" he asked.
"Oh yes, it was rather fun. Yet, somehow, the Russian Ballet never leaves me in good spirits for the next day. It doesn't really leave a pleasant impression somehow--an agreeable flavour."
"Doesn't it--why?"
"One wants to see it, one is interested, from curiosity, and then, afterwards, there's a sort of Dead Sea-fruitish, sour-grapes, autumn-leaves, sort of feeling! It's too remote from real life and yet it hasn't an uplifting effect. At any rate it always depresses me."
He gave her a rather searching look, and then said:
"Did Hillier like it?"
"I think he enjoys everything. He's always so cheery."
"And to-night we're dining at home?"
"Oh yes, I hope so. We'll have a quiet evening."
After a moment Percy said, in a slightly constrained way:
"I think I shall have to go out for half-an-hour. I want to see a man at the club."
"Oh, must you? But it's raining so much. Why don't you ring him up and ask him to come here?"
She was anxious not to betray a womanish fear that he might be getting influenza, as she knew that nothing would annoy him so much as bothering about him.
"No; I must go out."
She dropped the subject. He took up a new book she had been reading and talked about it somewhat pompously and at great length. The whole time it struck her he was not like himself. Something was wrong. He was either worried, or going to be ill. He had either a temper or a temperature. But she did not refer to it. Dinner was sometimes a good cure for such indispositions.
He continued to make conversation in a slightly formal way until he went out. After he had gone she observed to herself that his manner had varied from polite absent-mindedness to slight irritability. He had gone out without telling her anything about his plans. He had not even kissed her.
CHAPTER IX
AN ANONYMOUS LETTER
Mrs. Hillier habitually had breakfast in her own room, for no particular reason, but because Nigel encouraged her in this luxurious manner of beginning the day. He said a woman ought not to have to come down until the day had been a little warmed, and got ready for her; that she should have time to choose her clothes to harmonise with her moods--time, after a look at the weather, and hearing the news of the day, to settle on what the moods should be. For a man, on the contrary, he thought it ridiculous and weakly idle--indolent in a way not suited to a man. A man, according to Nigel, ought no more to have his breakfast in bed than to come down with a bow of blue ribbon in his hair, or to go and lie down before dressing for a dinner-party.
However, one morning it darted suddenly into Mary's head that Nigel, on going downstairs to breakfast, while she did not, had nearly an hour to himself. What a horrible idea! What injustice to her! And it occurred to her that for years she had never seen Nigel open his letters. She had, indeed, not the slightest idea what his manner at breakfast was like.
Was this fair? He always managed to get out of any invitation to the country which included them both.
As soon as she had thought of this, she rang for her maid, and dressed in the wildest hurry, as though she had to catch a train: leaving her tray on the little table untouched, the maid running after her to fasten hooks, and b.u.t.tons, to stick in pins, and tie ribbons, as though they were playing a game.
Mary won. She was flying out of the room when the maid ran after her, saying:
"Madame, your tortoisesh.e.l.l comb is falling out of your hair; won't you let me finish dressing it?"
"Don't worry, Searle. What _does_ it matter?"
She flew downstairs.
Nigel looked up with that intense surprise that no one can succeed in disguising as the acutest pleasure.
"Well, by Jove," he said, in his quick way, which was so cool and casual that it almost had the effect of a drawl. He looked at her closely, and said rea.s.suringly:
"After all, it may not be true; and if it is, it may be for the best."
"What may not be true, Nigel. What do you mean?"
"Why, this sudden bad news."