Dick, Marjorie and Fidge Part 19

"I didn't say anything about being deaf or dumb, either. I simply said I was duff and dem, and I defy you to prove to the contrary," said the Executioner, stubbornly.

Marjorie was quite bewildered; but there was no time for further argument, for, just then, d.i.c.k and the Archaeopteryx returned, supporting the Dodo (who appeared half dead with fright), and followed by the Palaeotherium and the Eteraedarium, walking arm in arm.

"Ah! now we will settle this little matter," said the Court Glover, placing himself in an imposing att.i.tude, and motioning the Executioner to stand a little way behind him.

The Dodo prostrated himself before them, the tears streaming from his eyes, and the offending gloves thrown on the ground in front of him.

"Miserable fowl!" began the Court Glover.

The Dodo winced.

"To what degraded depths have you sunken! I find you here hob-a-n.o.bbing with _thingummybobs_ and _what's-his-names_."

"Here, I say, hold on!" interrupted the Archaeopteryx. "If you mean us, you know, we are----"

"_Thingummybobs_ and _what's-his-names_," repeated the Court Glover, waving his hand contemptuously. "Was it to create an impression amongst such creatures as _these_ that you ran off with the very best pair of white kid gloves in the whole collection belonging to His Importance the Little Panjandrum? Oh, Dodo! Dodo! Dodo! it is _too_ much!"

"How much too much?" inquired the Palaeotherium, kindly taking out his purse.

The Court Glover waved him aside with an impatient scowl.

"The vanity of the bird!" he went on--"white kid, above all others!

Why, you might have taken a dozen pairs of colored cotton gloves, and no one would have minded in the least; but best white kid--oh! shocking!

shocking! And look at the state you've made them in! But there--what can be expected of a creature that goes wandering about the world visiting what-you-may-call-ems."

[Ill.u.s.tration: "'Bear up, old man,' said the Archaeopteryx."]

"Of course, there's nothing to be done," continued the Court Glover, after an impressive pause, "but to execute you."

The Dodo sobbed; and Marjorie, who was greatly concerned, began: "Oh, please----"

But the Court Glover was inexorable, and murmured solemnly, "In one hour's time--here," he walked off towards the balloon, followed by the Executioner, who was giggling idiotically, and had to stuff a handkerchief into his mouth to prevent himself from laughing outright.

"Inhuman wretch--there!" said Marjorie, bursting into tears, while the Dodo's friends a.s.sisted him up from the ground, where he was lying in a half-fainting condition.

"Bear up, old man," said the Archaeopteryx, sympathetically, fanning him with his tail.

"When did he say?" inquired the Dodo, faintly.

"In an hour's time," said d.i.c.k, sadly.

The Dodo shuddered.

"Stop!" said the Eteraedarium, suddenly. "I think I have found a way out of the difficulty."

"Oh! what is it? What is it?" cried the Dodo, eagerly; while the others all crowded round to hear what the Eteraedarium had to say.

CHAPTER XV.

THE EXECUTION OF THE DODO.

"Let us pretend," suggested the Palaeotherium, "that the Dodo is dead.

They will readily imagine that the shock has been too much for him, and, of course, being dead, there will be no necessity to execute him."

"He--he--he! Very nice indeed. A capital arrangement!" giggled a voice over the children's shoulder; and, turning round, they beheld the Executioner, who had apparently overheard everything that had been said.

"Bother!" remarked the Palaeotherium; "now I shall have to invent some other way."

"I can't think," said the Executioner, who had removed his mask, and who the children discovered to be a very amiable-looking gentleman--"I can't think why you are making all this fuss about the execution."

"Well, how would you like it yourself?" asked the Dodo, indignantly.

"I shouldn't mind in the least," remarked the Executioner, coolly.

"Not mind being killed!" shuddered the children.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I never kill anybody when I chop their heads off."]

"Oh, _that's_ another question entirely," said the Executioner. "I never kill anybody when I chop their heads off. It would be so cruel; besides, that old-fas.h.i.+oned way is so ordinary. I am the Executioner Extraordinary, you know."

"Well, how on earth do you execute people, then, if you don't kill them?" demanded d.i.c.k.

"Oh, by a new method, which I have invented myself," declared the Executioner. "I call it execution by proxy. I just make an effigy."

"What's that?" inquired Marjorie.

"Don't interrupt," said d.i.c.k. "Guy Fawkes is an effigy, you know--an old stuffed thing, with a mask on. Go on, please."

"Well, then," continued the Executioner, "having made an effigy, as near like my subject as possible, I just chop its head off, and there is an end of the matter."

He looked around at the company, and smiled triumphantly.

Marjorie gave a sigh of relief. She didn't so much mind the execution taking place if the poor Dodo was not to be killed. To her great surprise, however, on looking at that interesting bird, she discovered that he was weeping copiously, and wiping with an elaborate lace handkerchief, which had evidently been concealed about his person, the tears which trickled slowly down his great beak.

"What's the matter, poor goosey, goosey, gander?" said Fidge, sympathetically.

"Don't!" snapped the Dodo, crossly. "I'm _not_ a goose."

"Well, what _is_ the matter, anyhow?" said d.i.c.k. "They are not going to chop your head off it appears; so you ought to be glad, and not snivel like that."

"I d--don't want to--to be--e m--made a guy of," sobbed the Dodo.

"What _do_ you mean?" asked the Executioner.