The Fall of British Tyranny Part 2

LORD WISDOM, Mr. Chatham.

LORD RELIGION, Bishop of St. Asaph.

LORD JUSTICE, Mr. Camden.

LORD PATRIOT, Mr. Wilkes.

BOLD IRISHMAN, Mr. Burke.

JUDAS, Mr. Hutchinson.

CHARLEY, Mr. Jenkinson.

BRAZEN, Mr. Wedderburne.

COLONEL, Mr. Barre.

LORD BOSTON, Mr. Gage.

ADMIRAL TOMBSTONE, Mr. Graves.

ELBOW ROOM,[6] Mr. Howe.

MR. CAPER, Mr. Burgoyne.

LORD KIDNAPPER, Mr. Dunmore.

GENERAL WAs.h.i.+NGTON.

GENERAL LEE.

GENERAL PUTNAM.

_Officers, Soldiers, Sailors, Citizens, Negroes, &c., &c., &c._

FOOTNOTES:

[6] It seems to be generally thought that the expression of "Elbow Room"

is to be attributed to General Howe, and not to General Burgoyne.

THE FALL

OF

BRITISH TYRANNY, &c.

ACT I.

SCENE I. _At St. James's._

LORD PARAMOUNT [_solus, strutting about_].

Many long years have rolled delightfully on, whilst I have been basking in the suns.h.i.+ne of grandeur and power, whilst I have imperceptibly (tho'

not unsuspected) guided the chariot of state, and greased with the nation's gold the imperial wheels.

'Tis I that move the mighty engine of royalty, and with the tincture of my somniferous opiate or (in the language of a courtier) by the virtue of my secret influence, I have lulled the axletree to sleep, and brought on a pleasing insensibility.

Let their champion, Lord Wisdom, groan, he is now become feeble and impotent, a mere cripple in politics; their Lord Patriot's squint has lost its basilisk effect: and the bold Irishman may bellow the _Keenew_ till he's hoa.r.s.e, he's no more when compar'd to me than an Irish salmon to a Scotch herring: I care not a bawbee for them all. I'll reign in Britain, I'll be king of their counsels, and chief among the princes.

Oh! ambition, thou darling of my soul! stop not till I rise superior to all superlative, till I mount triumphantly the pinnacle of glory, or at least open the way for one of my own family and name to enter without opposition.

The work is now cut out, and must be finish'd, I have ventur'd too far to recede, my honour's at stake, my importance, nay my life, depends upon it!

Last night's three hours' closeting has effectually done the business; then I spoke my mind in such terms as to make a lasting impression, never to be eradicated--all--all was given up to me, and now since I hold the reins of government, since I am possessed of supreme power, every thing shall be subservient to my royal will and pleasure.

SCENE II.

_Enter MOCKLAW._

MOCKLAW. I am your Lords.h.i.+p's most obedient humble servant.

PARAMOUNT. Be seated,--I sent for you to have a small conference with you--and to let you know, your advice respecting certain points of law, I have found succeeded to admiration; even beyond my most sanguine expectations.

MOCKLAW. I am heartily glad of it, altho' the advice I gave your Lords.h.i.+p, I cannot say, was law; yet, your Lords.h.i.+p can easily pa.s.s it as such by a royal proclamation: and should it ever be disputed, I have quirks and quibbles enough at your service, with Mr. Brazen and Mr.

Attorney-General's a.s.sistance, to render it so doubtful, obscure and ambiguous, as to puzzle Lord Justice, perplex Dunning, and confound Glynn.

PARAMOUNT. Can you show me an instance of a royal proclamation pa.s.sing for a law? or advise me how to make it such, if you can, I shall make it well worth your study.

MOCKLAW. My Lord, as you have now got a parliament exactly to your mind, ev'ry thing you propose will be granted; but in order that you may see precedents are not wanting--there is a statute in the reign of Henry the 8th that expressly shews the then parliament pa.s.sed a law that the king's proclamation should be the law of the land--

PARAMOUNT. Are you sure of that?

MOCKLAW. My Lord, here it is--this is real law: _Luce meridiana clariora_. When we find any thing of this kind, ready made to our hands, it's a treasure we should never part with.

[_PARAMOUNT reads._

PARAMOUNT. I see it plain! this, this alone is worth a ton of gold.--Now, by St. Andrew! I'll strike a stroke that shall surprise all Europe, and make the boldest of the adverse party turn pale and tremble--Scotch politics, Scotch intrigues, Scotch influence, and Scotch impudence (as they have termed it), they shall see ere long s.h.i.+ne with unheard of splendour, and the name of Lord Paramount the mighty, shall blaze in the annals of the world with far greater l.u.s.tre (as a consummate politician) than the name of Alexander the Great, as an hero!

MOCKLAW. That day I much wish for,--but, with your Lords.h.i.+p's permission, I would just mention, that secrecy and dissimulation are the soul of enterprise; your Lords.h.i.+p hath many enemies, who watch ev'ry movement of state with a jealous and wary eye.

PARAMOUNT. I know it, but the futile attempts of my timid adversaries have hitherto proved abortive--so far I have borne down all opposition, and those (even some of the greatest of them) who not long since were my most open, as well as secret enemies, I now behold with the most princely pleasure, the earliest to attend, to congratulate me on my birthday, tho' uninvited, bow down, and make the most submissive congees. Have you not seen this, Mocklaw? and how I keep them in expectation of something, by now and then bestowing part of a gracious smile amongst a dozen of them?

MOCKLAW. I have, my Lord, and no doubt they interpret that as a favourable omen;--however, policy, my Lord, would dictate that to you, if there were no other consideration.

PARAMOUNT. True, and yet they are cursedly mistaken--and now, Mocklaw, as I have ever found you to be well dispos'd towards me, and the cause I espouse, and as I trust you continue satisfy'd with my former bounty, and my promise now of granting you a pension for life, with liberty to retire, I shall make you my confident, and disclose to you a secret no man except myself yet knows, which I expect you have so much honour to let it remain a secret to all the world (I mean as to the main point I have in view).

MOCKLAW. Depend upon it, my Lord, I am sincerely devoted to your Lords.h.i.+p, command me, I care not what it is, I'll screw, twist and strain the law as tight as a drumhead, to serve you.

PARAMOUNT. I shall at this time but just give you a hint of the plan I've drawn up in my own mind. You must have perceived in me a secret hankering for majesty for some time past, notwithstanding my age;--but as I have considered the great dislike the nation in general have, as to my person, I'll wave my own pretensions, and bend my power and a.s.siduity to it in favour of one, the nearest a kin to me, you know who I mean, and a particular friend of yours, provided I continue to be dictator, as at present; and further, I intend America shall submit. What think you of it so far?

MOCKLAW. A day I've long wish'd to see! but you stagger me, my Lord, not as to my honour, secrecy, or resolution to serve you, but as to the accomplishment of such grand designs.

PARAMOUNT. 'Tis true, I have undertaken a mighty task, a task that would have perplexed the Council of Nice, and stagger'd even Julius Caesar--but--

MOCKLAW. You have need, my Lord, of all your wisdom, fort.i.tude and power, when you consider with whom you have to contend--Let me see--Lord Wisdom--Lord Religion--Lord Justice--Lord Patriot--the bold Irishman, &c., &c., &c., and the wisdom of the United Colonies of America in Congress to cope with; as individuals they are trifling, but in league combined may become potent enemies.

PARAMOUNT. Granted--But are you so little of a lawyer as not to know the virtue of a certain specific I'm possess'd of, that will accomplish any thing, even to performing miracles? Don't you know there's such sweet music in the shaking of the treasury keys, that they will instantly lock the most babbling patriot's tongue? transform a Tory into a Whig, and a Whig into a Tory? make a superannuated old miser dance, and an old Cynic philosopher smile. How many thousand times has your tongue danc'd at Westminster Hall to the sound of such music?