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"We are," the bride answered, "Winthrop and Mr. Mead have gone out for a smoke."
"Then I want you to tell me if I'm fading at all. I've been looking at it upstairs, in a little two-by-three mirror, and taken that way, by inches, it looks awful. Tell me what you think?" She removed the veil and presented her damaged face for her friend's inspection. There was not much improvement to report, but the always optimistic Patty did what she could with it.
[Ill.u.s.tration: SHE SWOOPED UNDER THE LARGE CENTER TABLE, DRAGGING PATTY WITH HER.]
"The left cheek," she p.r.o.nounced, "is really better, less swollen, less--Oh! Kate, here they come."
Miss Perry began to readjust her charitable gray chiffon veil. It was one of those which are built around a circular aperture, and as the steps in the hall came ever closer she, in one last frantic effort succeeded in framing the most lurid of her eyes in this opening. Casting one last look into the mirror, she swooped under the large center-table, dragging Patty with her, and disposing their various frills and ribbons under the long-hanging tablecover.
"If they don't find either of us," she whispered, "they'll go away to look for us."
She had no time to say more, and Patty had no time to say anything before the door opened and presented to their limited range of vision, two utterly strange pairs of shoes and the hems of alien trousers.
"I hope you will excuse me, Miss," began the mola.s.ses gentleman, so full of his entrance speech that he said the first part of it before he noticed that the room was empty. And then turned to rend his fellow adventurer, who was laughing at him.
"Didn't Horace tell us," he stormed, "that she was here, and wasn't you going to say how you had saw her in the original 'Black Crook?'"
"I seen her all right," said his more grammatical friend, with heavy emphasis.
"Do you see her now?" demanded the irate mola.s.ses traveler.
"I do not, but I'll set here 'til she comes."
They both sat. Not indeed until the arrival of Ruby Mandeville, but until Hawley and Mead made their appearance, and made it, too, very plain that they had not expected and did not enjoy the society of the travelers.
"Where are the ladies?" asked Hawley.
"Search us," responded the travelers.
"They must have gone to their rooms," said the bridegroom. "If these gentlemen don't object to our waiting here," he went on with a fine and wasted sarcasm.
"Set right down," said the genial sarsaparilla man, and to further promote good feeling he tendered his remaining "Ruby Mandeville" cigar.
"Your friend," said he affably, "does he always wear them goggles?"
"Always," answered Hawley. "Eats in them, sleeps in them."
"Born in them," supplemented Mead savagely.
They sat and waited for yet a few moments, and though Mead did not add geniality to the conversation, he certainly contributed interest to it.
For his views on honeymoon etiquette being strong within him, and an audience made to his hand, he went on to amplify some of the theories with which he had been trying to undermine Winthrop's loyalty.
"I am persuaded that most of the disappointments of married life are due to the impossible standards set up at the beginning. Look at it this way. You know the fuss most wives make about the hours a husband keeps.
Well! suppose Mr. Hawley comes out in the car with me to-night. I know some fellows who have a summer studio near here. We'll run over and make a night of it."
"Say," the mola.s.ses gentleman broke in, "be you married, mister?"
"No!" said Mead.
"Sounds like it," said the mola.s.ses gentleman. "Marriage will sort of straighten you out on these here subjects."
"Oh, leave 'em be," admonished the sarsaparilla man. "If I had 'a met up with him thirty years ago, mebbee I wouldn't be in the traveling line now. He's got a fine idee."
Hawley, meanwhile, was wrestling with his manners and the "Ruby Mandeville," until the lady, as was her custom, triumphed.
He hurriedly and incompletely extinguished the cigar, and attracted by the same opportunity for concealment which had appealed to Kate and Patty, he lifted a corner of the heavy-fringed tablecover and sent Ruby to join the other ladies.
Now, a lighted cigar applied suddenly to the ear of an excited and half-hysterical conspirator, will generally produce results. In this case it produced a scream, the bride, and after an interval, the shrouded confidential friend.
"See where amazement on your mother sits," the ghost remarks in Hamlet, but amazement never sat so hard on the wicked Gertrude of Denmark as it did upon the four men who saw the tablecloth give up its ghosts.
At first there was silence. One of those throbbing, abominable silences whose every second makes a situation worse and explanation more impossible.
The "Black Crook" speech of welcome and appreciation died in the heart of the mola.s.ses traveler. It did not somehow seem the safest answer to Hawley's threatening--
"I think you gentlemen had better explain how you happen to be in my private sitting-room. Perhaps we had better step out into the hall."
They did, and the echoes of their conversation brought Jimmie, that trusty sleuth, upon the scene. With him he brought Horace as witness.
Also, he carried his dark lantern. He directed its glare fitfully at the two strangers until Mead, catching a beam in his eye, turned and drove Jimmie and his cohorts from the scene. They retreated in exceedingly bad order to the bar, and then Jimmie announced in sepulchral whispers that he had further identification to impart. He required much liquid refreshment to nerve him to speech, and his audience required to be similarly strengthened to hear.
"I've got 'em," he began, "I know 'em now. Horace, this is the biggest thing you'll ever be anywhere near." And, as his hearers drew close about him, he whispered "counterfeiters. The hull kit and bilin' of 'em."
Meanwhile, Kate and Patty wrestled afresh with the automobile veil, and had succeeded in getting it tied in a limp string around the bridesmaid's neck, leaving all her head and face uncovered. And when the groom and the groomsman returned she, with a m.u.f.fled gurgle, dived back into the seclusion of the tablecover.
"We've got rid of those bounders," Hawley announced, and--
"h.e.l.lo!" cried Mead, "Miss Perry gone already?"
"She was very tired," said Patty veraciously, but evasively.
"Awfully jolly girl, isn't she Mead?" said Hawley, with the expansiveness of the newly-wed. "Handsome, too?"
"Perhaps she is, but so long as she dresses like a veiled prophet it is hard to tell."
"If you two can get on without me," said Patty, disregarding a m.u.f.fled protest from under the table, "I'll go up and fetch," she made these comforting words very clear, "my green motor veil."
Instantly, when he closed the door after her, Mead turned to Hawley.
"There's something wrong with this confounded mask," said he. "This strap-thing that goes round my head must be too tight. I've been mad with it the last half hour. How do I look?" he asked genially as he took it off, and proceeded to tamper with the buckles and elastic. "Howling Jupiter!" he cried a moment later, "I've busted it."
As the two friends stood and stared at one another aghast, they heard the click of Patty's returning heels, and Mead, abandoning dignity, courage--everything except the broken mask--dived into Miss Perry's maiden bower.
Mrs. Hawley watched this procedure with wide and fascinated eyes. No ripple shook the walls of the bower. No sound proceeded from it as the moments flew. Then Patty fell away into helpless laughter and wept tears of shocked and sudden mirth into the now useless motor veil.
"Patty!" remonstrated her husband, but she laughed helplessly on. "At least come out into the hall and laugh there," he urged, "the poor chap will hear you." And when he had followed her and listened to her shaken whisper, he broke into such a shout as forced the indignant and outraged Kate into a shudder of protest and disgust.
Instantly Mead threw an arm past the table's single central support and grasped a handful of silk chiffon and two fingers.