Anthology: Bad Boys To Go Part 24

While she let the hot water pound over her, Gretchen realized her stomach was full of b.u.t.terflies. She was nervous about the hit men catching up with them, nervous about ditching Norm and Sadie and the rest. Nervous about the d.a.m.n wedding.

From her bag she pulled out clean underweara"white cotton panties and a white bra. Not exactly the lingerie she'd imagined herself wearing for her wedding. Oh, well, at least it was clean. There was also a clean T-s.h.i.+rt in there, which she'd have to wear with her jeans.

She emerged from the bathroom feeling somewhat calmer, her wet hair already corks.c.r.e.w.i.n.g around her face, and stopped with a start.

A dress lay on the gold and white settee. "We're sorry it's not a real wedding dress, but it's Verna's and it's new. She always dresses far too young for her age, but will she listen?" Sadie shook her head. "That's your something blue. "

"I may be old but I don't have to dress like it," said Verna, and those were the first words she'd managed since they'd left the bus.

"It's a beautiful dress," Gretchen said. And it was. It wasn't exactly white tulle, but the soft blue cotton halter dress with big purple and green flowers on it was cheerful and fun.

"Come and sit at the vanity, honey. Verna's a retired hairdresser. She'll get you all fixed up. "

"I am so excited. I haven't done a bride ina"oh, it must be fifteen years." Verna laughed gaily, already combing out Gretchen's wet hair, while Gretchen smiled faintly and noticed how pale her reflection lookeda"and tried to remember what hair styles had been popular fifteen years ago. She had a strong feeling she was about to be reminded.

"Oh, I wish I had my hot rollers. I do a great Farrah Fawcett. At least I used to. With your hair, you could be one of Charlie's Angels themselves, yes, you could. "

Oh goodie.

Verna chatted all through the hair and makeup, as though once allowed to speak she couldn't shut up, but the result wasn't anything as bad as Gretchen had feared. Without the hot rollers, Verna had been forced to simply blow-dry Gretchen's hair into natural waves, and then she'd pulled the front pieces back and tied them with a piece of ribbon she found in her purse.

The two women insisted on helping her into the dress, which was only slightly loose at the waist, and when she'd taken off her bra, it really looked pretty good.

"Shoes," said Sadie, staring at Gretchen's bare feet. "Oh my gosh. We forgot about shoes. "

Gretchen glanced at her beat-up Nikes and didn't think they made quite the right statementa"although, being running shoes, perhaps they did. "It's okay, really. They'll look kind of funky. "

"No, no. Here, try mine," Verna said, slipping off her white vinyl thongs studded with plastic jewels.

"Oh, but I can't take your shoes. "

"They go better with your dress than those old sneakers. There's a ruby missing on the left sandal, but I don't suppose anybody will notice. "

Verna was so insistent that Gretchen slipped her feet into the sandals, still warm from Verna's feet. They were a couple of sizes large, but if she curled her toes when she walked they stayed on okay.

Sadie glanced at her watch and nodded with pleasure. "And five minutes to spare. "

There was a knock on the door and Sadie answered. She didn't open the door wide, but Gretchen heard Norm's voice. Then Sadie shut the door and turned, holding out a bouquet of white silk roses. "For the bride. "

Gretchen felt her eyes fill. She wanted to think it was guilt but really it was just plain grat.i.tude. "You are my fairy G.o.dmothers," she said, hugging them both once more.

"Nonsense," said Sadie, sniffing. "You're all set. You've got something olda"that's us." She giggled. "Something new, the bouquet, something borrowed"a"she pointed to the shoesa""and something blue." She swept her hand in the direction of the dress.

"Ready?"

Gretchen took a deep breath and tried to give them a big, confident smile. Adam better come up with something, and fast.

The bridal party, such as it was, left the comparative safety and seclusion of the dressing room and made its way toward the chapel itself.

Sadie grabbed Gretchen's hand as they hit the main foyer. "Come on. Let's put in a dollar for good luck. Maybe you'll win enough for the baby's college fund. "

She was dragged to the front of the foyer where all the slot machines were wedding-themed.

Gretchen stuck the dollar Sadie handed her into a slot and pulled the handle.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a black sedan drive past outside. There must be hundreds, thousands of black sedans in Las Vegas. She wouldn't let it get to her.

Still, she groaned.

"Never mind, honey," Sadie said, glancing over her shoulder at the bride, bouquet, and cherry that showed in the slot machine window. "You're marrying the man you love and starting a family. That's all the luck you need. "

Gooseb.u.mps line-danced up and down Gretchen's arms as she watched the sedan turn the corner. "The air conditioning's pretty cool down here. I think I'll head in. "

"Okay. I lost my dollar, too," Sadie said.

Worse, Sadie and the rest of them were going to lose whatever investment they'd made in the Love Me Tender package. She'd make sure and reimburse them for the money, but she knew nothing could replace the joy they'd all taken in giving two broke young strangers with a baby on the way a wedding to remember.

She strode down the corridor, wondering exactly how she was going to sabotage her own wedding.

Chapter Nine.

When they got to the chapel, the men of the party were already there along with everyone else from the bus.

Gretchen tried to smile for the fifty or so seniors offering congratulations and hugs, but her gaze went immediately to Adam and her heart shuddered in her chest.

He wore his jeans, a clean white T-s.h.i.+rt that she a.s.sumed was his, and a jacket that certainly was not. It was a double-breasted navy blazer that belonged to a cruise s.h.i.+p captain or a lounge singer. But somehow, the effect of the whole outfit was stunning. He was so tall, his hair so black, his eyes so piercing a blue, and when he smiled at her, his slightly crooked grin caused a combination of heat and longing to wash over her.

"Go to your man, honey," Sadie said, giving her a little push.

Her man. Well, for now, for today, and for however long this crazy adventure lasted, she supposed he was her man.

She stepped forward. Adam held out his hand and she took it, finding it rea.s.suringly warm and steady. He gave her fingers a slight squeeze, and she wasn't sure if it was simply to make her feel better or because he had a plan and she didn't have to worry. She strongly hoped it was the latter.

The piped in music was all Elvis, all the time. The carpet was the color of bubble gum, the walls some kind of s.h.i.+ny blond wood, and there were plastic palm trees and a white plastic trellis with silk roses in a.s.sorted colors spiraling up each side. To the left of that was a pulpit, and beside it was a microphone on a stand and a white guitar.

She'd barely finished looking around her when the King himself appeared. Not Greek Elvis this time, but Las Vegas Elvis. He'd dim any bride with his pure white pantsuit covered in flas.h.i.+ng rhinestones.

This man was a pretty good Las Vegas Elvis, she decided, right down to the white scarf, the blue black sideburns, and the flop of black hair across his brow. When he emerged from a door behind the pulpit, everyone broke into applause. He said, "Thank you. Thank you very much," and she thought, All right.

For an Elvis fan having a fake wedding, she supposed that an Elvis impersonator presiding over the ceremony added a perfect touch of irony.

"Would the happy couple step forward, please," he said, wasting no time, and she realized there wasn't going to be much preamble. There weren't even pews or seats for the guests. This was the wedding version of the drive-through.

Norm handed Elvis their license while Adam led Gretchen to stand before the pulpit, one of her hands tucked in his grasp. She clutched her bouquet so hard that if there'd been real roses in there, with real thorns, she'd have been stabbed to pieces.

A loud sniffling erupted behind her, coming from Sadie's direction. Gretchen knew just how she felt. She wanted to do some sobbing herself.

"Dearly beloved," came the familiar words in the even more familiar drawl, and her hand jerked inside Adam's clasp. He squeezed again rea.s.suringly, and moved a little closer to her so their bodies were touching.

"Do you, Adam Ezra Stone, take Gretchen Louise Wiest to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Even as she thought, Wow, Ezra, tough onea"and could imagine how his real wife would address him by his middle name when she was mad at hima"she waited, tensed, for Adam Ezra Stone to reject her in front of Elvis, G.o.d, and everybody.

Adam turned and gazed down at her with the strangest expression in his eyes and said, "I do. "

She blinked at him. What? Well, she sure as h.e.l.l wasn't going to be the one looking like a jerk in front of all these nice people.

Now it was her turn. "Do you, Gretchen Louise Wiest, take Adam Ezra Stone to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

Silence heavy as eternity seemed to weight her tongue. She had to say no, she wouldn't make a mockery of her first weddinga"but this was Elvis, for Pete's sake. You didn't say no to Elvis. And Norm and Sadie and the rest. She glanced up and found she couldn't say no to Adam either. So she said, "I do," her voice low and trembling, then dragged in a breath as though someone had squeezed the valve on her air supply hose.

Her palm was tingling and she was pretty sure it was because her hands were sweating.

Oh Lord. She'd started out to track a cheating spousea"she'd never intended to marry him herself! Elvis needed to speed things up because the room was beginning to spin and she really, really needed to stick her head between her knees.

Then there was the thing about anyone knowing of any impediment as to why they couldn't get married, and she breathed again, knowing Adam must have set somebody up to stop the wedding. But the silence was broken only by the sniffles of Sadie and the distant chirping of a slot machine. Sounded like somebody'd won the jackpot.

Then Elvis continued. No one had stopped the wedding. If somebody didn't do something fast, then Elvis was going to saya"

"I now p.r.o.nounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. "

Even as her lips fell open in shock, Adam leaned in to kiss her. A short, shocking contact of his mouth against hers. Then he hugged her to him, whispering in her ear, not words of love or an apology for not stopping the wedding, but words that made her feel even more faint.

"Larry, Moe, and Curly found us. You head through the door Elvis came in and I'll deal with these clowns. Go!"

He gave her a little push toward the pulpit while Elvis picked up his guitar and began crooning "Love Me Tender. "

She couldn't move. Larry, Moe, and Curly? That must have been them in the sedan she'd seen earlier. But how could they have found them? She didn't have time to work it out. She couldn't leave Adam to fight off three killers. Besides, he was the one who needed to get away and pick up his evidence. She was trained in self-defense. She could probably hold them off long enough for everyone to get out.

She glanced back at the three burly guys in dark suits. There wasn't a full neck between the three of them.

Okay, maybe holding them off single-handed wasn't going to happen.

"Those men must be here for the next wedding," Sadie murmured nervously, standing close to Gretchen. "How rude of them not to wait. "

Behind them, the first verse of "Love Me Tender" melted into the second. She saw the three tough guys spreading out and felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck. They couldn't let Sadie and Norm and the rest get caught in the middle of something ugly.

Gretchen began to herd the ladies toward the Elvis door behind the pulpit. The singer watched them, but kept on performing.

Norm walked up to the hulking tough in the middle. "What is it you want?"

"We don't want no trouble, sir. "

"There's a wedding going on," Norm said in his drill sergeant voice. "You'll have to wait outside. "

"We're here for Adam Stone. He's under arrest. "

Norm neither backed off nor raised so much as a hair. "On what charge?"

"Murder. "

"Where's your warrant?"

"It'sa aha in the car. "

"Which agency are you with?"

The burly guy in the middle clenched his fists and glared. "Look, sir, this here's official business. "

All eyes were on the small drama, including those of the other two stooges, and Adam took advantage of their lapse in concentration to slide behind the one closest to him.

Dropping her bouquet, Gretchen picked up one of the urns holding a flower arrangement. It was plastic, and not as heavy as she'd hoped, but it would have to do. She a.s.sumed Adam would make the first move, but she was wrong. It was Norm. His arm, skinny and gnarled but still ropy with muscle, snaked out and grabbed the gun from the holster of the chief stooge.

"Why you olda"" Even as Bull Neck lunged at Norm, the old man twisted and executed some kind of fancy martial arts move.

And then all h.e.l.l broke loose. Adam jumped the second stooge from behind at the same moment Gretchen whacked the third one as hard as she could with the plastic flowerpot Silk flowers exploded from the pot. The big guy grunted and then turned on her with an ugly expression.

She tried to call up all her karate training, wis.h.i.+ng she had a better weapon.

Soon, she realized that she did have a weapon, and a pretty heavy duty one. A busload of p.i.s.sed-off senior citizens.

Sadie jumped onto the big guy's back like a flea onto a Saint Bernard, wrapped her arms around his neck, and squeezed.

While he was grabbing at the age-spotted arms, Verna whacked him in the knees with her walking stick and Gretchen launched herself at him with a banshee wail and her best kick to the midsection. He threw off Sadie, stumbled and cursed at the walking stick, and Gretchen's kick bounced off his belly like a kid off a trampoline.

He reached for his ankle and drew a knife. The gleam of deadly steel flashed as he closed in on her.

"No, Gretchen!" Adam yelled, too far away to help. He ran forward, but there was no way he could get to her in time. She backed slowly away, her only hope being that she could find some shelter and throw herself behind it.

In her peripheral vision she caught a blinding flash of white, and then heard a discordant crash as a white guitar came smas.h.i.+ng down on the head of stooge number three, wielded by Elvis himself. The thug's eyes rolled once before he toppled to the floor, unconscious.

Elvis shrugged off their thanks. "n.o.body messes with my chapel. "

Adam glanced at Norm, efficiently hog-tying his man. All three were still out cold, and in the absence of handcuffs, the gold curtain cords with the elaborate ta.s.sels were doing the job.

The man Adam recognized as the driver of the black sedan groaned, opened his eyes, glanced around, muttered an obscenity, and shut his eyes again.

They were in a smaller, currently vacant chapel. Another wedding had been scheduled right after Adam and Gretchen's, and while the men dragged out the three unconscious men, the women pitched in to put the chapel back to rights.

Elvis retreated to his private anteroom for a new guitar, and the ladies cleaned house until the chapel looked neater than it had when they'd arrived. The flowers in the urn were better arranged, too, thanks to one of the bus ladies who turned out to be a retired florist.