Life of Lord Byron Volume II Part 13

"And now, my dear Bankes, do not distress me by supposing that I can think of you, or you of me, otherwise than I trust we have long thought. You told me not long ago that my temper was improved, and I should be sorry that opinion should be revoked. Believe me, your friends.h.i.+p is of more account to me than all those absurd vanities in which, I fear, you conceive me to take too much interest. I have never disputed your superiority, or doubted (seriously) your good will, and no one shall ever 'make mischief between us' without the sincere regret on the part of your ever affectionate, &c.

"P.S. I shall see you, I hope, at Lady Jersey's. Hobhouse goes also."

In the month of April he was again tempted to try his success in the House of Lords; and, on the motion of Lord Donoughmore for taking into consideration the claims of the Irish catholics, delivered his sentiments strongly in favour of the proposition. His display, on this occasion, seems to have been less promising than in his first essay. His delivery was thought mouthing and theatrical, being infected, I take for granted (having never heard him speak in Parliament), with the same chanting tone that disfigured his recitation of poetry,--a tone contracted at most of the public schools, but more particularly, perhaps, at Harrow, and encroaching just enough on the boundaries of song to offend those ears most by which song is best enjoyed and understood.

On the subject of the negotiations for a change of ministry which took place during this session, I find the following anecdotes recorded in his notebook:--

"At the opposition meeting of the peers in 1812, at Lord Grenville's, when Lord Grey and he read to us the correspondence upon Moira's negotiation, I sate next to the present Duke of Grafton, and said, 'What is to be done next?'--'Wake the Duke of Norfolk' (who was snoring away near us), replied he: 'I don't think the negotiators have left any thing else for us to do this turn.'

"In the debate, or rather discussion, afterwards in the House of Lords upon that very question, I sate immediately behind Lord Moira, who was extremely annoyed at Grey's speech upon the subject; and, while Grey was speaking, turned round to me repeatedly, and asked me whether I agreed with him. It was an awkward question to me who had not heard both sides.

Moira kept repeating to me, 'It was _not so_, it was so and so,' &c. I did not know very well what to think, but I sympathised with the acuteness of his feelings upon the subject."

The subject of the Catholic claims was, it is well known, brought forward a second time this session by Lord Wellesley, whose motion for a future consideration of the question was carried by a majority of one.

In reference to this division, another rather amusing anecdote is thus related.

"Lord * * affects an imitation of two very different Chancellors, Thurlow and Loughborough, and can indulge in an oath now and then. On one of the debates on the Catholic question, when we were either equal or within one (I forget which), I had been sent for in great haste to a ball, which I quitted, I confess, somewhat reluctantly, to emanc.i.p.ate five millions of people. I came in late, and did not go immediately into the body of the House, but stood just behind the woolsack. * * turned round, and, catching my eye, immediately said to a peer, (who had come to him for a few minutes on the woolsack, as is the custom of his friends,) 'd.a.m.n them! they'll have it now,--by G----d! the vote that is just come in will give it them.'"

During all this time, the impression which he had produced in society, both as a poet and a man, went on daily increasing; and the facility with which he gave himself up to the current of fas.h.i.+onable life, and mingled in all the gay scenes through which it led, showed that the novelty, at least, of this mode of existence had charms for him, however he might estimate its pleasures. That sort of vanity which is almost inseparable from genius, and which consists in an extreme sensitiveness on the subject of self, Lord Byron, I need not say, possessed in no ordinary degree; and never was there a career in which this sensibility to the opinions of others was exposed to more constant and various excitement than that on which he was now entered. I find in a note of my own to him, written at this period, some jesting allusions to the "circle of star-gazers" whom I had left around him at some party on the preceding night;--and such, in fact, was the flattering ordeal he had to undergo wherever he went. On these occasions,--particularly before the range of his acquaintance had become sufficiently extended to set him wholly at his ease,--his air and port were those of one whose better thoughts were elsewhere, and who looked with melancholy abstraction on the gay crowd around him. This deportment, so rare in such scenes, and so accordant with the romantic notions entertained of him, was the result partly of shyness, and partly, perhaps, of that love of effect and impression to which the poetical character of his mind naturally led. Nothing, indeed, could be more amusing and delightful than the contrast which his manners afterwards, when we were alone, presented to his proud reserve in the brilliant circle we had just left. It was like the bursting gaiety of a boy let loose from school, and seemed as if there was no extent of fun or tricks of which he was not capable.

Finding him invariably thus lively when we were together, I often rallied him on the gloomy tone of his poetry, as a.s.sumed; but his constant answer was (and I soon ceased to doubt of its truth), that, though thus merry and full of laughter with those he liked, he was, at heart, one of the most melancholy wretches in existence.

Among the numerous notes which I received from him at this time,--some of them relating to our joint engagements in society, and others to matters now better forgotten,--I shall select a few that (as showing his haunts and habits) may not, perhaps, be uninteresting.

"March 25. 1812.

"Know all men by these presents, that you, Thomas Moore, stand indicted--no--invited, by special and particular solicitation, to Lady C. L * *'s to-morrow evening, at half-past nine o'clock, where you will meet with a civil reception and decent entertainment.

Pray, come--I was so examined after you this morning, that I entreat you to answer in person.

"Believe me," &c.

"Friday noon.

"I should have answered your note yesterday, but I hoped to have seen you this morning. I must consult with you about the day we dine with Sir Francis. I suppose we shall meet at Lady Spencer's to-night. I did not know that you were at Miss Berry's the other night, or I should have certainly gone there.

"As usual, I am in all sorts of sc.r.a.pes, though none, at present, of a martial description.

"Believe me," &c.

"May 8. 1812.

"I am too proud of being your friend to care with whom I am linked in your estimation, and, G.o.d knows, I want friends more at this time than at any other. I am 'taking care of myself' to no great purpose. If you knew my situation in every point of view you would excuse apparent and unintentional neglect. I shall leave town, I think; but do not you leave it without seeing me. I wish you, from my soul, every happiness you can wish yourself; and I think you have taken the road to secure it. Peace be with you! I fear she has abandoned me.

"Ever," &c.

"May 20. 1812.

"On Monday, after sitting up all night, I saw Bellingham launched into eternity[48], and at three the same day I saw * * * launched into the country.

"I believe, in the beginning of June, I shall be down for a few days in Notts. If so, I shall beat you up 'en pa.s.sant' with Hobhouse, who is endeavouring, like you and every body else, to keep me out of sc.r.a.pes.

"I meant to have written you a long letter, but I find I cannot. If any thing remarkable occurs, you will hear it from me--if good; if _bad_, there are plenty to tell it. In the mean time, do you be happy.

"Ever yours, &c.

"P.S.--My best wishes and respects to Mrs. * *;--she is beautiful.

I may say so even to you, for I never was more struck with a countenance."

[Footnote 48: He had taken a window opposite for the purpose, and was accompanied on the occasion by his old schoolfellows, Mr. Bailey and Mr.

John Madocks. They went together from some a.s.sembly, and, on their arriving at the spot, about three o'clock in the morning, not finding the house that was to receive them open, Mr. Madocks undertook to rouse the inmates, while Lord Byron and Mr. Bailey sauntered, arm in arm, up the street. During this interval, rather a painful scene occurred.

Seeing an unfortunate woman lying on the steps of a door, Lord Byron, with some expression of compa.s.sion, offered her a few s.h.i.+llings: but, instead of accepting them, she violently pushed away his hand, and, starting up with a yell of laughter, began to mimic the lameness of his gait. He did not utter a word; but "I could feel," said Mr. Bailey, "his arm trembling within mine, as we left her."

I may take this opportunity of mentioning another anecdote connected with his lameness. In coming out, one night, from a ball, with Mr.

Rogers, as they were on their way to their carriage, one of the link-boys ran on before Lord Byron, crying, "This way, my Lord."--"He seems to know you," said Mr. Rogers.--"Know me!" answered Lord Byron, with some degree of bitterness in his tone--"every one knows me,--I am deformed."]

Among the tributes to his fame, this spring, it should have been mentioned that, at some evening party, he had the honour of being presented, at that royal personage's own desire, to the Prince Regent.

"The Regent," says Mr. Dallas, "expressed his admiration of Childe Harold's Pilgrimage, and continued a conversation, which so fascinated the poet, that had it not been for an accidental deferring of the next levee, he bade fair to become a visiter at Carlton House, if not a complete courtier."

After this wise prognostic, the writer adds,--"I called on him on the morning for which the levee had been appointed, and found him in a full dress court suit of clothes, with his fine black hair in powder, which by no means suited his countenance. I was surprised, as he had not told me that he should go to court; and it seemed to me as if he thought it necessary to apologise for his intention, by his observing that he could not in decency but do it, as the Regent had done him the honour to say that he hoped to see him soon at Carlton House."

In the two letters that follow we find his own account of the introduction.

LETTER 94. TO LORD HOLLAND.

"June 25. 1812.

"My dear Lord,

"I must appear very ungrateful, and have, indeed, been very negligent, but till last night I was not apprised of Lady Holland's restoration, and I shall call to-morrow to have the satisfaction, I trust, of hearing that she is well--I hope that neither politics nor gout have a.s.sailed your Lords.h.i.+p since I last saw you, and that you also are 'as well as could be expected.'

"The other night, at a ball, I was presented by order to our gracious Regent, who honoured me with some conversation, and professed a predilection for poetry.--I confess it was a most unexpected honour, and I thought of poor B-----s's adventure, with some apprehension of a similar blunder, I have now great hope, in the event of Mr. Pye's decease, of 'warbling truth at court,' like Mr. Mallet of indifferent memory.--Consider, one hundred marks a year! besides the wine and the disgrace; but then remorse would make me drown myself in my own b.u.t.t before the year's end, or the finis.h.i.+ng of my first dithyrambic.--So that, after all, I shall not meditate our laureate's death by pen or poison.

"Will you present my best respects to Lady Holland? and believe me hers and yours very sincerely."

The second letter, entering much more fully into the particulars of this interview with Royalty, was in answer, it will be perceived, to some enquiries which Sir Walter Scott (then Mr. Scott) had addressed to him on the subject; and the whole account reflects even still more honour on the Sovereign himself than on the two poets.

LETTER 95. TO SIR WALTER SCOTT, BART.

"St. James's Street, July 6. 1812.