Deerbrook Part 3

"I see; we cannot get to it now, because we should have to cross the gra.s.s." And Margaret began to look round for any place where they might go beyond the gravel-walk, on which they stood. She moved towards the greenhouse, but found it was never unlocked before breakfast. The summerhouse remained, and a most unexceptionable path led to it. The sisters turned that way.

"You cannot go there," cried the children; "Miss Young always has the schoolroom before breakfast."

"We are going to see Miss Young," explained Hester, smiling at the amazed faces with which the children stared from the end of the path.

They were suddenly seen to turn, and walk as fast as they could, without its being called running, towards the house. They were gone to their mother's dressing-room door, to tell her that the Miss Ibbotsons were gone to see Miss Young before breakfast.

The path led for some little way under the hedge which separated Mr Grey's from Mr Rowland's garden. There were voices on the other side, and what was said was perfectly audible. Uneasy at hearing what was not meant for them, Hester and Margaret gave tokens of their presence. The conversation on the other side of the hedge proceeded; and in a very short time the sisters were persuaded that they had been mistaken in supposing that what was said was not meant for them.

"My own Matilda," said a voice, which evidently came from under a lady's bonnet which moved parallel with Hester's and Margaret's; "My own Matilda, I would not be so harsh as to prevent your playing where you please before breakfast. Run where you like, my love. I am sorry for little girls who are not allowed to do as they please in the cool of the morning. My children shall never suffer such restriction."

"Mother," cried a rough little person, "I'm going fis.h.i.+ng with Uncle Philip to-day. Sydney Grey and I are going, I don't know how far up the river."

"On no account, my dear boy. You must not think of such a thing. I should not have a moment's peace while you are away. You would not be back till evening, perhaps; and I should be fancying all day that you were in the river. It is out of the question, my own George."

"But I must go, mother. Uncle Philip said I might; and Sydney Grey is going."

"That is only another reason, my dear boy. Your uncle will yield to my wishes, I am sure, as he always does. And if Mrs Grey allows her son to run such risks, I am sure I should not feel myself justified. You will stay with me, love, won't you? You will stay with your mother, my own boy."

George ran roaring away, screaming for Uncle Philip; who was not at hand, however, to plead his cause.

"My Matilda," resumed the fond mother, "you are making yourself a sad figure. You will not be fit to show yourself at breakfast. Do you suppose your papa ever saw such a frock as that? There! look--dripping wet! Pritchard, take Miss Matilda, and change all her clothes directly.

So much for my allowing her to run on the gra.s.s while the dew is on!

Lose no time, Pritchard, lest the child should catch cold. Leave Miss Anna with me. Walk beside me, my Anna. Ah! there is papa. Papa, we must find some amus.e.m.e.nt for George today, as I cannot think of letting him go out fis.h.i.+ng. Suppose we take the children to spend the morning with their cousins at Dingleford?"

"To-morrow would suit me better, my love," replied the husband. "Indeed I don't see how I can go to-day, or you either." And Mr Rowland lowered his voice, so as to show that he was aware of his liability to be overheard.

"Oh, as to that, there is no hurry," replied the lady, aloud. "If I had nothing else to do, I should not make that call to-day. Any day will do as well."

As Hester and Margaret looked at each other, they heard the gentleman softly say "Hus.h.!.+" But Mrs Rowland went on as audibly as ever.

"There is no reason why I should be in any hurry to call on Mrs Grey's friends, whoever and whatever they may be. Any day will do for that, my dear."

Not having been yet forbidden to run before breakfast, Hester and Margaret fled to the summer-house, to avoid hearing any more of the domestic dialogues of the Rowland family.

"What shall we do when that woman calls?" said Hester. "How will it be possible to speak to her?"

"As we should speak to any other indifferent person," replied Margaret.

"Her rudeness is meant for Mrs Grey, not for us; for she knows nothing about us: and Mrs Grey will never hear from us what has pa.s.sed.--Shall we knock?"

In answer to the knock, they were requested to enter. Miss Young rose in some confusion when she found her visitors were other than her pupils: but she was so lame that Hester made her sit down again, while they drew seats for themselves. They apologised for breaking in upon her with so little ceremony, but explained that they were come to be inmates at Mr Grey's for some months, and that they wished to lose no time in making themselves acquainted with every resort of the family, of which they considered themselves a part. Miss Young was evidently pleased to see them. She closed her volume, and a.s.sured them they were welcome to her apartment; "For," said she, "everybody calls it my apartment, and why should not I?"

"Do you spend all your time here?" asked Hester.

"Almost the whole day. I have a lodging in the village; but I leave it early these fine mornings, and stay here till dark. I am so lame as to make it inconvenient to pa.s.s over the ground oftener than is necessary; and I find it pleasanter to see trees and gra.s.s through every window here, than to look out into the farrier's yard,--the only prospect from my lodging. The furnace and sparks are pretty enough on a winter's evening, especially when one is too ill or too dismal to do anything but watch them; but at this season one grows tired of old horse-shoes and cinders; and so I sit here."

To the sisters there seemed a world of desolation in these words. They were always mourning for having no brother. Here was one who appeared to be entirely alone. From not knowing exactly what to say, Margaret opened the book Miss Young had laid aside. It was German--Schiller's Thirty Years' War. Every one has something to say about German literature; those who do not understand it asking whether it is not very mystical, and wild, and obscure; and those who do understand it saying that it is not so at all. It would be a welcome novelty if the two parties were to set about finding out what it is to be mystical,--a point which, for aught that is known to the generality, is not yet ascertained. Miss Young and her visitors did not enter upon precise definitions this morning. These were left for a future occasion.

Meantime it was ascertained that Miss Young had learned the German language by the aid of dictionary and grammar alone, and also that if she should happen to meet with any one who wished to enjoy what she was enjoying, she should be glad to afford any aid in her power. Hester was satisfied with thanking her. She was old enough to know that learning a new language is a serious undertaking. Margaret was somewhat younger, and ready for any enterprise. She thought she saw before her hours of long mornings, when she should be glad to escape from the work-table to Miss Young's companions.h.i.+p and to study. The bright field of German literature seemed to open before her to be explored. She warmly thanked Miss Young, and accepted her offered a.s.sistance.

"So you spend all your days alone here," said she, looking round upon the rather bare walls, the matted floor, the children's desks, and the single shelf which held Miss Young's books.

"Not exactly all the day alone," replied Miss Young; "the children are with me five hours a day, and a set of pupils from the village comes to me besides, for a spare hour of the afternoon. In this way I see a good many little faces every day."

"And some others too, I should hope; some besides little faces?"

Miss Young was silent. Margaret hastened on--

"I suppose most people would say here what is said everywhere else about the n.o.bleness and privilege of the task of teaching children. But I do not envy those who have it to do. I am as fond of children as any one; but then it is having them out to play on the gra.s.s, or romping with them in the nursery, that I like. When it becomes a matter of desks and school-books, I had far rather study than teach."

"I believe everybody, except perhaps mothers, would agree with you,"

said Miss Young, who was now, without apology, plying her needle.

"Indeed! then I am very sorry for you."

"Thank you; but there's no need to be sorry for me. Do you suppose that one's comfort lies in having a choice of employments? My experience leads me to think the contrary."

"I do not think I could be happy," said Hester, "to be tied down to an employment I did not like."

"Not to a positively disgusting one. But I am disposed to think that the greatest number of happy people may be found busy in employments that they have not chosen for themselves, and never would have chosen."

"I am afraid these very happy people are haunted by longings to be doing something else."

"Yes: there is their great trouble. They think, till experience makes them wiser, that if they were only in another set of circ.u.mstances, if they only had a choice what they would do, a chance for the exercise of the powers they are conscious of, they would do such things as should be the wonder and the terror of the earth. But their powers may be doubted, if they do not appear in the conquest of circ.u.mstances."

"So you conquer these giddy children, when you had rather be conquering German metaphysicians, or ---, or ---, what else?"

"There is little to conquer in these children," said Miss Young; "they are very good with me. I a.s.sure you I have much more to conquer in myself, with regard to them. It is but little that I can do for them; and that little I am apt to despise, in the vain desire to do more."

"How more?"

"If I had them in a house by myself, to spend their whole time with me, so that I could educate, instead of merely teaching them. But here I am doing just what we were talking of just now,--laying out a pretty-looking field of duty, in which there would probably be as many thorns as in any other. Teaching has its pleasures,--its great occasional, and small daily pleasures, though they are not to be compared to the sublime delights of education."

"You must have some of these sublime delights mixed in with the humbler.

You are, in some degree, educating these children while teaching them."

"Yes: but it is more a negative than a positive function, a very humble one. Governesses to children at home can do little more than stand between children and the faults of the people about them. I speak quite generally."

"Is such an occupation one in which anybody can be happy?"

"Why not, as well as in making pins' heads, or in nursing sick people, or in cutting square blocks out of a chalk pit for thirty years together, or in any other occupation which may be ordained to prove to us that happiness lies in the temper, and not in the object of a pursuit? Are there not free and happy pin-makers, and sick-nurses, and chalk-cutters?"

"Yes: but they know how much to expect. They have no idea of pin-making in itself being great happiness."

"Just so. Well: let a governess learn what to expect; set her free from a hankering after happiness in her work, and you have a happy governess."

"I thought such a thing was out of the order of nature."

"Not quite. There have been such, though there are strong influences against it. The expectations of all parties are unreasonable; and those who are too humble, or too amiable, to be dissatisfied with others, are discontented with themselves, when the inevitable disappointment comes.

There is a great deal said about the evils of the position of a governess--between the family and the servants--a great deal said that is very true, and always will be true, while governesses have proud hearts, like other people: but these are slight evils in comparison with the grand one of the common failure of the relation.--There! do you hear that bell?"